Terrible Things
Issues
Outfit of the piece:
After school.
Pyjamas
Party
Roland boosted up the stairs screaming after Jaime. I hung my bag on the hook reserved for the item and kicked my blue Taylors off.
"For fucks sake Jaime! Get a job and stop fucking around with your brothers shit!" My dad screamed after the two boys. I kissed him on the cheek as I entered the kitchen. "Hey Angel, how was school?" I gave him the usual, 'great, nothing special' and chugged down the remainder of the carton of orange juice before throwing it across the room and landing a three pointer in the bin. My dad high-fived me and I giggled. I was right in what I had told Alex earlier, I spent a lot of time around men, I had to have to find that cool. My nokia buzzed in my pocket and I clicked the button to see Vic's name.
Piggy! How was school? Get your ass down to Cali asap. I want to hear your new song.
The text was promptly followed by the exact text from Mike, Vic's brother, to emphasize the point. I sighed at their reference to Carrie. Ever since they saw that movie they took the shit out of my for my name.
"Dad?" He turned from the frying chicken and raised his eyebrows in an invitation to speak. "When can I next go to Cali to see Vic and Mike?" Vic was like a big brother to me and I relished every opportunity I had to go back to California to see them again. Visits were few and far between since dad moved us out to Baltimore after mom died two years ago.
"Next weekend if you want, Roland's heading down to see Jackie and stuff so you can go with him." I hugged him tight and thanked him before running upstairs to my room to flick a reply to Vic.
Be there next Saturday! Love you xo
I flopped on my bed and sighed in contentment as I pictured seeing the boys again.
------------------------------
A tapping sound woke me from my sleep. I kicked the covers off and pulled my top back down before stumbling over to my window. Seriously? Who threw rocks at windows now days? How about a nice polite text which I could ignore? I pushed the window open and looked down at the garden to find Alex's friend Jack staring up at me.
"Alex sent me. He says you should come to this party down the road." Huh?
"Party? What, now?" I was shocked, I didn't even know Alex and he was inviting me to a party at, I checked my phone, one am on a Wednesday?
"Yeah! Every ones at Frankies! We're getting wasted. He would have come himself, except he doesn't know where you live and he's a bit too friendly with the Vodka at the moment." I sighed and looked between my bed and Jack. I had never snuck out of the house before, never. I had never had enough friends to be invited to a party. I jumped out of my skin as Roland stormed into my bedroom. He leant out my window and started kinda whisper-yelling at Jack.
"You wouldn't have got caught if you hadn't threw the rocks at my window first, Faggot."
"Calm down, Ro, he wants me to go to a party with him and his friends." Roland looked at me in utter surprise. He slapped me on the back and burst out laughing.
"Finally! Hell yeah are you going! Take your phone and text me to open the back door when you get back, or if you won't make it back. Fuck yeah! My baby sisters first sneak out! Her first party." He bowed extravagantly and extended his hand. "I would be honored to assist you in this matter, milady." I laughed as I shoved my brother out of my room and told Jack to wait a moment while I got changed. I pulled on my plaid jeans and a plain black top, laced up my boots and swung out onto the tree that was more than conveniently outside my window.
Jack caught me as I jumped from the lower branch and placed me on my feet. I followed him out of the garden and down the street.
"How did you know where I lived?" I was concerned, had he been stalking me? Did he follow me home?
"I've been living next door to you since you moved here... I thought you would have noticed by now. I'm quite loud." I laughed as Jack rounded the corner and beckoned for me to hurry up. Alex stood leaning against the gate of the fourth house on the street with a bottle of vodka in his hand. He reached out his arms and pulled Jack into a hug. "Carrie, meet drunken Alex." Jack nudged himself out of his arms before saying something about a lack of alcohol and making his way inside from where music was blaring.
"How do you guys not get caught with music that loud?" I said as I completed the final few steps which would land me right in front of Alex. He giggled and held out the bottle for me to take.
"Cause we are the clevererest people ever." He slurred as he grabbed me y the hand and pulled his vodka and I inside.
After school.
Pyjamas
Party
Roland boosted up the stairs screaming after Jaime. I hung my bag on the hook reserved for the item and kicked my blue Taylors off.
"For fucks sake Jaime! Get a job and stop fucking around with your brothers shit!" My dad screamed after the two boys. I kissed him on the cheek as I entered the kitchen. "Hey Angel, how was school?" I gave him the usual, 'great, nothing special' and chugged down the remainder of the carton of orange juice before throwing it across the room and landing a three pointer in the bin. My dad high-fived me and I giggled. I was right in what I had told Alex earlier, I spent a lot of time around men, I had to have to find that cool. My nokia buzzed in my pocket and I clicked the button to see Vic's name.
Piggy! How was school? Get your ass down to Cali asap. I want to hear your new song.
The text was promptly followed by the exact text from Mike, Vic's brother, to emphasize the point. I sighed at their reference to Carrie. Ever since they saw that movie they took the shit out of my for my name.
"Dad?" He turned from the frying chicken and raised his eyebrows in an invitation to speak. "When can I next go to Cali to see Vic and Mike?" Vic was like a big brother to me and I relished every opportunity I had to go back to California to see them again. Visits were few and far between since dad moved us out to Baltimore after mom died two years ago.
"Next weekend if you want, Roland's heading down to see Jackie and stuff so you can go with him." I hugged him tight and thanked him before running upstairs to my room to flick a reply to Vic.
Be there next Saturday! Love you xo
I flopped on my bed and sighed in contentment as I pictured seeing the boys again.
------------------------------
A tapping sound woke me from my sleep. I kicked the covers off and pulled my top back down before stumbling over to my window. Seriously? Who threw rocks at windows now days? How about a nice polite text which I could ignore? I pushed the window open and looked down at the garden to find Alex's friend Jack staring up at me.
"Alex sent me. He says you should come to this party down the road." Huh?
"Party? What, now?" I was shocked, I didn't even know Alex and he was inviting me to a party at, I checked my phone, one am on a Wednesday?
"Yeah! Every ones at Frankies! We're getting wasted. He would have come himself, except he doesn't know where you live and he's a bit too friendly with the Vodka at the moment." I sighed and looked between my bed and Jack. I had never snuck out of the house before, never. I had never had enough friends to be invited to a party. I jumped out of my skin as Roland stormed into my bedroom. He leant out my window and started kinda whisper-yelling at Jack.
"You wouldn't have got caught if you hadn't threw the rocks at my window first, Faggot."
"Calm down, Ro, he wants me to go to a party with him and his friends." Roland looked at me in utter surprise. He slapped me on the back and burst out laughing.
"Finally! Hell yeah are you going! Take your phone and text me to open the back door when you get back, or if you won't make it back. Fuck yeah! My baby sisters first sneak out! Her first party." He bowed extravagantly and extended his hand. "I would be honored to assist you in this matter, milady." I laughed as I shoved my brother out of my room and told Jack to wait a moment while I got changed. I pulled on my plaid jeans and a plain black top, laced up my boots and swung out onto the tree that was more than conveniently outside my window.
Jack caught me as I jumped from the lower branch and placed me on my feet. I followed him out of the garden and down the street.
"How did you know where I lived?" I was concerned, had he been stalking me? Did he follow me home?
"I've been living next door to you since you moved here... I thought you would have noticed by now. I'm quite loud." I laughed as Jack rounded the corner and beckoned for me to hurry up. Alex stood leaning against the gate of the fourth house on the street with a bottle of vodka in his hand. He reached out his arms and pulled Jack into a hug. "Carrie, meet drunken Alex." Jack nudged himself out of his arms before saying something about a lack of alcohol and making his way inside from where music was blaring.
"How do you guys not get caught with music that loud?" I said as I completed the final few steps which would land me right in front of Alex. He giggled and held out the bottle for me to take.
"Cause we are the clevererest people ever." He slurred as he grabbed me y the hand and pulled his vodka and I inside.
This story is so good! OMG. I just found it and started reading it yesterday, and haven't stopped. I just caught up with all of the updates you have of it and really love it.
It's a very dark fan fic. Specifically with the first half, honestly one of the darkest I've read actually... like with that curse of everything happening on Sundays? Man... and you just kind of kept it up too. It was just very dark, and sad, but... different. And I really like that about this.
The second half seems to be deviating from that a little bit, but I sensed that coming back with the babies thing. I mean, not that I want anything to happen, but I almost feel you had something bad happening planned with the pregnancy. Perhaps not, perhaps that was just to raise some of the tone as opposed to keeping it happy go lucky, who knows. But I found it interesting how you did that.
I'm glad that Alex and Carrie finally got together, with the first part of this I was just screaming GET TOGETHER until they finally did. lol. And I was happy. :)
I found it a bit odd how they just took in those fans though. On a realistic writing level, the oddity of this story was the curse thing. But adding the fans thing in too, it just... it didn't really fit. Especially considering legalities and all of that. I feel like it was a little too easy that they gained guardianship.
But overall, I have enjoyed Alex and Carrie's love story. I'm sad to see it was never finished, so I'm leaving this comment to let you know if you ever do choose to finish it, I will be here to read, for sure. I'd love to see how it all ends for these two. Even if it's just a final chapter wrap up or something; I understand what it's like losing inspiration.
But yeah, sorry if this comment sounded harsh at all, but just wanted to leave my honest thoughts. I think you're a truly great writer, though, and hope you have at least kept up with it in your free time. :)
7/12/16