What was he doing? I was perfectly happy! I had the girl I had been irrationally missing for years cuddled against me, I was managing not to have flashbacks and panic attacks over Chloe and I had a healthy blood ratio of 50% Jack Daniels. Where had he taken her? It wasn't like Zack to do things like that, he must have seen how happy just sitting there with here had made me.
“Rian, can you go find Zack?” I begged. “I don't know what he's doing.” Jack took Carrie's place beside me and I wished I could have her back there, permanently. Constant, always, steady. I wanted her there to keep me sane. I wanted her there to keep me stable, to protect me from my own mind, and I had no idea why. I wanted her to protect me from myself but she hardly knew me! How could I be thinking like this, it was so foolish. Jack' arm weaved around me and his voice was softer than it usually was when he spoke.
“Dude, Carrie's got you on some type of leash, and you hardly know her. Don't you think this could be something more than just coincidence?” I shrugged. I had no idea what he meant. I downed the last of my whiskey and turned to look at my best friend, hoping he could shed some light on my problem. “Alex, you haven't stopped thinking about her since you kissed her senior year before she left. There has to be something there, I mean you forgot about your smoking hot girlfriend! If I was you, I'd chase after this.” There was something about Jack, he may be one of the most purely idiotic people I knew, but sometimes his remarks were right on the money. And for the first time in a while, at the thought of having Carrie by my side, I smiled.

CARRIE'S POV

What? Leave? Just like that?
“Hell no,” My drunken slur was clearly defiant. “I met you less than 24 hours ago and I'm meant to leave at the click of your fingers?” The boy slowly nodded, a look of total guilt on his face.
“I don't want to tell to you to do that, I can tell you're happy around Alex but you're making him miserable. Everything you do seems to remind him of Chloe and I can't sit and watch him squirm and scream in his sleep any more. I care too much about him.” I was doing that? He was having nightmares? “All these issues only resurfaced once you showed up. I'm sorry, but you should just avoid him, for everybody's sakes.” What this quiet stranger was saying hit me right in the innermost sanctum of my soul. If I was hurting Alex with every action, every word, how could I ever spend time with him when I knew I was putting him in pain? I stood and nodded to the mop of curls before staggering off in the direction I thought my bus was. I heard a voice join Zack's from behind me but I knew if I turned I would lose my drive to not pass out before I hit the bus.
“For fucks sake!” Screamed the voice and a loud crash occurred from where the dustbin had been as the lid made contact with the wall.

My chest felt heavy and my neck was warm. Too warm. Uncomfortable. Can't breath. Panicking. Holy shit. I jumped out of my unconscious state to find myself pinned to the couch by a large mexican man. I moved Jaime's arm from my waist and pushed his head from my neck and slid myself from under him. The air rushed back into my lungs and a hand pulled me by the biceps to a somewhat standing position.
“Too much tequila, chicka?” I groaned as I held my head and raised my finger in the direction of Mike's voice.
“Shut up, fucker. I didn't want those. It was Preciado.” An acknowledging grunt came from where I had escaped and Jaime fell onto the floor. He scrambled to his feet and almost instantly sat down again, his head in his hands.
“Mixing with the All Time Low boys leads to drunken failures apparently.” Huh? Mike saw my confused expression and explained to me what had happened the night before. “You were carried away by Skunk and ended up sitting at a table with his entire band drinking for about four hours before you went outside with the bassist, what ever his name was. After I went looking for you, the drummer and the bassist were arguing about something outside and you were stumbling away down the side of the paddocks. I caught up to you somewhere around the merch tents and you were crying for no reason, hardly staying upright.” I couldn't remember anything after I agreed to avoid Alex so I'd stop hurting him. “I carried you back here and then left to find Jaime. You failed to find the bus, then you failed to make yourself coffee.” I looked in the sink to find a million shattered pieces of our glass coffee jar. “Then you tried to get yourself changed and ended up with your shirt on upside down, how you managed that I don't know, but you were quite annoyed that your favourite top didn't fit any more.” I giggled to myself and apologised to Mike. I hugged him and tanked him for sorting out my drunken ass before he pushed me towards my bunk, ordering that I get to the merch tent to join Vic for my shift.
“Vic's doing merch?” I asked as I ran a brush through my hair, arranging my layers, making sure the purple peeked through perfectly.
“No one else was awake, so he's selling and talking to fans at the same time.”I shrugged and pulled on my new Pierce The Veil shirt and keeping on my jeans from last night. I jumped of the bus after downing a few asprin and headed across to the tent. My hangover was surprisingly tame for the amount of alcohol I had consumed, but I suppose I had picked up on some resilience after hanging around with my brothers for so long. I jumped the table and grinned at Vic who was signing a small girls new shirt.
“This seems to be working,” I laughed. “How about you stand out there, sign and chat, and I'll take care of the sales.” Vic smiled and crawled under the table with his sharpies. A few girls screamed as his face became more revealed in the sun light and soon enough he was swamped by people asking him for photos and autographs. I sold out of nearly all our available stock thanks to Vic's impromptu meet and greet and I knew that Mikey and Tony would be happy with how much money we made.
“Hey, Carrie!” I looked up to see the person I was avoiding making his way through a crowd of fans, slowly working his way through each individual, signing and posing, towards the tent. “I wanted to talk to you!” Shit! No. he couldn't be here. I had banked on him not coming to look for me and was relived when Perry the merch guy finally turned up so I could run off to tune the guitars for todays set. Alex walked after me, calling my name louder and louder until he finally got close enough where he could physically turn me to face him. “Carrie, are you avoiding me?” I sighed and looked up into his chocolate eyes.
“Sorry, Gaskarth. I got a set to prepare.” I scampered before he could say anything and jumped onto the stage, waving my pass at the security.
After the set I hugged all the boys and began packing the guitars away.
“Caroline, why won't you talk to me?” I turned at the use of my full name and stared at Alex.
“I can't, okay?” I turned to continue packing the guitar case, loading Jaime's bass into it's slot. “I kill you inside Alex, I know. It'll be best if we just... if we... just don't.”
“No, Carrie! Carrie look at me and tell me you don't want me around.” It was so difficult to lie to him, so hard to say the exact opposite of what I wanted. I put on my coldest face and looked him in the eyes.
“I don't want you around Alex. It hurts you.” I took a breath and steadied myself. “I don't want you. Please leave Alex.” I heard the breath hitch in his throat and he stormed away as I distracted myself from my storming emotions by cleaning Vic's guitar. Holding in tears I tried to make myself believe what I had just said, tried to convince myself that no part of me wanted Alex Gaskarth.
“Now I know that that whole thing was total bullshit, Carrie.” Vic's voice echoed across stage.

“Can you just believe me please? Because I'm struggling to believe myself.”

Notes

Oh my god... I didn't for this to be so.... ugh.