I had never remembered so much about my past. I had never gone so far.

I needed him more than ever now. It made me realize he was the only thing that kept me alive, that sticked me to the groud, it was the hope of seeing him again.

Six months after I left Baltimore that day, my father died. I felt like part of me was gone too. Yes, maybe he was an asshole, but he was my father, and if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

He used to say I should move on when I felt something wasn’t right, he used to say I always had to do what made me happy. Maybe I understood everything wrong. Maybe I shouldn’t have left Jack in the first place. I should move on when I felt something wasn’t right, but nothing was wrong, everything was just perfect. I tried to forget and get over the only thing that truly made me happy. I never really followed what my dad said.

I slowly moved towards my bed. I sat on the floor and picked the big black box that I hid my past in through all of these years.

I blew the dust that covered it and openned it.

It was filled with photos. Photos of me and Jack, me and Zack, Jack and Rian. Photos of me with Rose and Charile, photos of Rose and Jack washing the dishes. Photos of my birthday.

The black and white sweater Jack gave me as an early Christmas present. The Blink-182 discography he gave me as a birthday present, the posters he gave me, even my Blink sweater was there, since it made me remember of him.

They were simple presents, but they were Jack’s presents, and that’s why they meant so much. There was many more things, I took everything out of the box, a beanie, a necklace, I looked everywhere but I couldn’t find my ring.

Then I remembered. I had thrown it away one minute before getting into the plane. That was the worst thing I had ever done.

I ran to my wardrobe, got a little red box and openned it, it was my tattoos and concerts money. I threw it all over the floor and noticed there was enough.

I got my bag of the wardrobe and threw all the money in it together with some clothes and the clothes I found in the box. I get my documents and when everything is ready I walk to the bathroom.

I looked dead, as always. I put the necklace on and wash my face. The cold water making me shiver a little bit. The snow still fell outside, so I put on two sweaters, a jacket, a black scarf and the beanie.

I sit on the bed and get a paper and a pen.

Hey mom, I’m leaving, and I might never come back. I’m moving on, doing what makes me happy, following my dreams, as dad always told us to do, so you should do the same thing. I love you, take care.
- Alex

It suddenly felt like I was back to the past again, writing that text to Jack. I knew it would hurt mom, but I needed to do that. For the first time I realized I deserved to be happy.

I got my bags and went downstairs. The house was dark, everybody had left. I sticked the note on the fridge and called a cab.

---

Five hours passed as slowly as five years. I was already on the plane, on my way to Baltimore, it was a long trip but I couldn’t sleep.

I was asking myself if it had been a good decision. Maybe he was dating a girl, maybe he and Zack were together, maybe he wasn’t living in Baltimore, maybe he was on tour and I wouldn’t find him.

I asked myself what would I do as I got there. Would Joyce be home? Would May be a beautiful grown up girl dating a nice guy she met at school? Would Joe still be the weird quiet kid that cried everyday because of the father? Maybe Leeyh had kids with Taylor and they were all together living at the Barakat’s house. Or maybe not, maybe they weren’t even together anymore.

It was raining a lot on the outside of the plane, and it swung a lot because of the turbulence we were into. Planes never scared me, but I was feeling scared now. I was afraid of dying. I know planes go through turbulences everyday and it was very hard for a plane to end up crashing because of one, but still, I was worried.

One of the flight attendants ran to the front of the plane and told everybody to put their seat belts as the lights of the plane flashed a little bit.

Everybody started talking, everybody was scared. I open my bag and look for my Ipod. I press play and start to listen to a song I don’t pay much attention to, I just didn’t want to hear the people’s screams and the terrible noise the plane was making.

I close my eyes and wait.

Notes

Hai. Thank you for the comments on the last chapter, they made my day <3
Just passing by to say I'm writing a new fic, yay, it's called Homicidal. I said it was going to be Jack's POV, but it isn't. haha
Bye.