​

I wake up alone and cold, reluctant to get up for another day at school- having to pretend every thing is okay when my whole world feels like it has crashed down around me.

“Alex!” My Mom calls from the bottom of the stairs “Even Anna is down here.”

I sit up, managing to stumble out of bed- still in yesterdays clothes. I rush downstairs and bite my lip as I see Anna stood at the breakfast bar, looking miserable.

I sit down, sighing slightly as my parents attempt to pussy-foot around her.

“Honey you need to eat something,” Dad tells Anna softly, rubbing her back.

“No,” she sighs, looking pale and shaken up.

“Anna, come on- you have to get ready for school,” Mom encourages, being soft with her.

“No, I'm not going, Isobel. I feel like shit and I don't want to see anyone,” Anna sniffles sadly, looking over at me quickly, avoiding eye contact.

“Well whatever, waste your life. See if I care. But if you're going to be like this- pretending you don't even see me here, then go, because this isn't fair,” I snap, walking back upstairs before anyone has a chance to say anything.

I sit at the foot of my bed, running my slim fingers through my thick, dirty blonde hair, looking at myself in the mirror, breathing heavily because of the adrenaline rush.

I stand up, taking my clothes off, changing into a pair of skinnies and a blink hoodie which is way too big.

“Alexander William Gaskarth, you'd better come down here right now,” Mom shouts.

I groan and pack my bag for school, grabbing a few dollars out of my savings jar for Warped Tour to buy lunch- there's no way I can face being shouted at while I make my sandwich.

I put my hood up, knowing I'm in the wrong, and unable to face the gaze of my family. I walk downstairs and straight out, not even giving Mom a chance to start her rant, or giving myself a chance to look at Anna's face. If I were to even see an ounce of pain caused by me, it would kill me.

I speed walk to school, keeping my head down, focused in on my thoughts- not even noticing Jack stood in front of me with his arms extended.

“Dude, are you dead?” Jack asks, making me jump as I look up- seeing him inches away.

“Huh? Oh...No, sorry,” I shrug, trying to act okay.

“'Lex, I've known you since you moved here. You, me and Anna are like this,” he laughs, crossing his fingers and adding another one on top to represent him “I know you love her, I know it's hard but I also know everything is going to be okay.”

“Wow, Jack Barakat gets deep,” I tease, feeling uneasy with how serious Jack is being for once.

“No, seriously, man,” he half smiles, placing his hand around my shoulders, forcing a hug on me “She's your world and it's never good when your world feels like it's collapsing around you.”

“It's an understatement,” I mumble, breaking the unwritten 'bro code' with regards to talking about emotions.

“Want to talk about it?” Jack offers “I'm meant to be meeting Zack, but I'll tell him to go straight to school.”

“No, I don't want to mess things up between you and your lover boy,” I smile weakly, shifting from foot-to-foot.

“It's fine, I want to talk and see how Anna is anyway. Coffee? I mean, we have an hour before we start school,” Jack shrugs, pretending not to care that much.

“Sure, dude. I could go for a coffee right now,” I smile weakly, appreciating the effort my best friend goes to.

I run my fingers through my hair through the stress of thinking about what I said to Anna and how I let my own stupid feelings get in the way of her 'recovery'. I guess that's what you could call it... Having to rebuild yourself as a person, that's recovery, right?

Jack texts Zack on his phone, glancing up occasionally to make sure he's not wondering into the road. He pauses as we arrive at the coffee shop, looking at me.

“Zack said he'll just see us at school. Will Anna be in today?” He asks curiously, walking in and sitting down at the coffee bar.

“No, she's a mess,” I shrug, examining the board carefuly, in the hope that he'll get the hint that I'm busy and not ask anything else.

“Why are you staring at that?” Flyzik's familiar voice chirps as he appears from out the back, drying a mug with a towel.

“You never know, I might want something else for once,” I smile slightly, ruffling my dirty blonde hair at the back to give it a slight style.

“The day that you have anything other than a latte is the day pigs fly, dude,” Matt laughs, making my usual. “Plus this one is on the house.”

“Why? Did someone die?” Jack jokes, not looking up from his iphone.

“No, but seeing your best friend go through rape must suck,” Matt retorts, shooting Jack a slight glare, which goes unnoticed by him. “How is Anna, by the way?”

“Fine,” I shrug, lying through my teeth.

“Well tell her we're all thinking of her,” Matt sighs, sensing the tension.

“Um, maybe we could get our drinks to go,” Jack suggests, seeing how anxious I am as I fiddle with my fingers.

“Yeah, I need to go and get some work done before school any way, I'm falling behind,” I hint, accepting the cardboard cup from Matt with a faked smile.

“Just look after her, and yourself,” Matt mumbles, not making eye contact- nearly in tears himself.

I don't reply; I simply walk out, reflecting on how many people adore Anna as much as I do. She is one of those people who touches the lives of everyone she meets. Her happiness is infectious.

“Well that was awkward,” Jack laughs as we start our journey to school together.

I turn to him and nod, sadly.

“Hello, you,” Zack's voice hums softly into Jack's ear as he appears from no where and cuddles him from behind- the streets empty of students who usually make bitchy comments about the couple.

Zack and Jack are an odd couple. Odd as a couple and individually. Jack is a lanky 6 foot 1 boy with black hair and messy blonde streaks in his fringe (which Anna put in, may I add). He's immature and playful. You just look at him and know he's gay. The way he can't help but stare at attractive guys as they pass probably doesn't help. Zack is, well, different. He's quiet, socially awkward, withdrawn- everything Jack isn't. He's a little shorter than Jack but is far more masculine and protective of his boyfriend. They're one of those couples who are perfectly imperfect for each other.

“Hey, honey,” Jack smiles, pecking his boyfriend's lips “Look who has decided to grace us with their presence today!”

“Hey, Lex,” Zack laughs, patting my back “I was starting to worry you'd never be back.”

“We're seniors now, Zack.” I sigh, the worry about not getting the grades I need for college kicking in “I have to come back, or I'll never get into college.”

“Are you still thinking about going to England?” Zack asks, looking hurt at the thought.

“That's the idea, but it all depends on Anna. I won't go without Anna,” I explain.

“And how is she doing?” Zack asks casually as we enter the school building, loitering outside the boy's locker room which happens to be right across the hall from our English class, which is what we all have first period.

“She's... Honestly? She's terrible and it's hard, but we'll get there,” I shrug- seeing Cassadee and Rian approaching.

“Hey, Lex. No Anna?” Cass asks, sadly.

“Not yet, I bet she's eager to get back and gossip with her only girl-friend though,” I laugh, fakely.

“I have lots to tell her. Just send her my love, okay?” Cass smiles, giving me a comforting hug.

I don't hug back, too distracted by the sweating seniors coming out of the changing rooms after a morning gym session.

“Thanks for calling the cops on us, Gaskarth,” the tall, lanky jock snarls, his friends stood behind him, minus the big, bulky kid who always looked out of place with the rest of the jocks.

“Yeah well you're lucky I didn't break your neck. If I hadn't have been dealing with you my best friend wouldn't have gotten raped,” I mumble, tears in my eyes just thinking about it.

Cass puts her hand on my shoulder to support me and try to calm me down.

“If it helps, Gaskank, our boy told us she was a real fighter,” the tall boy smirks “But he still fucked her. How does it feel to know you're going to be screwing Randal's sloppy seconds?”

“Anna isn't fucking sloppy. She's my best friend, you sick bastard!” I shout,drawing attention from a large crowd who gather around. “I hope you find out how this feels one day.”

“Alex, drop it,” Cass demands, pulling me back by the arm as the jock fronts up to me, shoving my chest.

“Cass, get off,” I groan, struggling to get away from her grip to punch the smug boy in the face for talking about Anna in such a disrespectful way.

I struggle so much I don't even notice a tiny, weak looking Anna shove through the crowd to stand in front of me.

I look down at her in total shock, her brown, bouncy curls nearly flat from the fact she hasn't washed it. Her figure is cloaked with my hoodie that falls to her knees, hiding the fact she's wearing a pair of her own 'jorts'.

“This isn't you,” she whimpers, looking up at me with her huge, hurt blue eyes.

“Anna, he's talking down about you- I'm not having it,” I respond, still in total shock.

“I came here to find you and stop you getting in trouble. I'm sorry. I fucked up, Lex. I need your help,” she sighs, looking back at the floor as everyone whispers about her being the 'girl that got raped'.

I look at Anna, her pure innocence and fear making my heart melt. She came into school despite knowing she'd be talked about, despite being terrified to go anywhere alone and despite the fact I treated her like crap this morning. Anyone who is willing to do that deserves the time.

I back down, letting my clenched fists relax as I away from the group of jocks. I grab Anna's sleeve and pull her through the crowd, getting abuse shouted by the jocks, still.

“I'll sort it,” Zack calls after Anna and I as we walk towards the exit.

Notes

I'm sorry I suck :(
I haven't updated for a month because I've been stupidly busy with home/school life, but I've missed writing this- so I'm back!
I hope you enjoy the update, there's more to come, very soon.
Keep the comments coming :)

-All Time Lily