Chasing the Future
Falling apart (Zack POV, Alex POV)
Zack POV
Alex looked way too nervous for it to be healthy, he was pale as a sheet, trembling, very cold and he rubbed his right hand like he always did when he was nervous. I thought I could see a piece of a white bandage, but I couldn’t see it after.
He started talking. “I… I don’t really know what is going on with Jack. All I know is that he is scared about not being a good father, and he drowns that in drinking. Which is only making it worse… He could be s-such a good father, if only he tried!” He started crying again and I hugged him again. When he wiped his face when he had calmed down a little, but his sleeve slipped up and I could now definitely see a bandage.
Alex POV
I wiped off my tears, not noticing that Zack saw it, but then he asked me about it. The anxiety hit me hard, knocking me off my feet.
What was I supposed to say???
I couldn’t cope anymore and ran to the bathroom, just like I had done so many times before, back in high-school. I broke down crying, sliding down the wall, hugging myself so I wouldn’t fall apart. Too bad I didn’t have any blades right now, but there was a stone on the floor. I picked it up, preparing myself to hit myself with it.
Someone came running in, sliding against the door just as I was about to hit myself. “Hello? Alex? Are you there?” I stopped in surprise; it was a female voice. I saw someone kneeling down outside the door. It was Luna.
“Yeah I am. Please go,” I replied, simultaneously sad and a bit happy about her being here.
“Alex please come out of there… Or I’ll make you,” she said fiercely. I sighed and unlocked the stall door before I even knew what I was doing.
She sat down next to me and gently removed the stone from my hand. She asked if it was okay if she hugged me, and I said yes. We sat there for a long time, me crying, she holding me.
I felt so much pain about Jack leaving me on my own, driving me to the point of desperation where I was ready to relapse again.
When I finally felt ready to leave the bathroom, Luna’s t-shirt was wet with my tears. Shakily. I went back to the table. Mari and Rian were playing together and Zack was singing to her. It was adorable.
I started to realize how hungry I was and shoved down some bread and drank some hot chocolate. Luna was still with me, watching over me.
I realized how much the people around me meant to me. I smiled the tiniest bit, because I knew, even if Jack left me, I’d still have them to support me.
Alex looked way too nervous for it to be healthy, he was pale as a sheet, trembling, very cold and he rubbed his right hand like he always did when he was nervous. I thought I could see a piece of a white bandage, but I couldn’t see it after.
He started talking. “I… I don’t really know what is going on with Jack. All I know is that he is scared about not being a good father, and he drowns that in drinking. Which is only making it worse… He could be s-such a good father, if only he tried!” He started crying again and I hugged him again. When he wiped his face when he had calmed down a little, but his sleeve slipped up and I could now definitely see a bandage.
Alex POV
I wiped off my tears, not noticing that Zack saw it, but then he asked me about it. The anxiety hit me hard, knocking me off my feet.
What was I supposed to say???
I couldn’t cope anymore and ran to the bathroom, just like I had done so many times before, back in high-school. I broke down crying, sliding down the wall, hugging myself so I wouldn’t fall apart. Too bad I didn’t have any blades right now, but there was a stone on the floor. I picked it up, preparing myself to hit myself with it.
Someone came running in, sliding against the door just as I was about to hit myself. “Hello? Alex? Are you there?” I stopped in surprise; it was a female voice. I saw someone kneeling down outside the door. It was Luna.
“Yeah I am. Please go,” I replied, simultaneously sad and a bit happy about her being here.
“Alex please come out of there… Or I’ll make you,” she said fiercely. I sighed and unlocked the stall door before I even knew what I was doing.
She sat down next to me and gently removed the stone from my hand. She asked if it was okay if she hugged me, and I said yes. We sat there for a long time, me crying, she holding me.
I felt so much pain about Jack leaving me on my own, driving me to the point of desperation where I was ready to relapse again.
When I finally felt ready to leave the bathroom, Luna’s t-shirt was wet with my tears. Shakily. I went back to the table. Mari and Rian were playing together and Zack was singing to her. It was adorable.
I started to realize how hungry I was and shoved down some bread and drank some hot chocolate. Luna was still with me, watching over me.
I realized how much the people around me meant to me. I smiled the tiniest bit, because I knew, even if Jack left me, I’d still have them to support me.
Notes
I don't know how much longer Alex can make it without really relapsing, even with all the others...Comments? Ratings? Subscriptions? Anyone??? c:
-Laura
@Cloud Storm
Thank you c:
2/1/14