Ever since the injury had happened, I had been on a high. I felt like I could do anything, not even Mari throwing up all over my clothes and part of the couch or an accident with diapers and poo had thrown me off. I had bandaged the injury during the night, in the morning I put on some butterfly strips to hold the wound together and bandaged over it. I wore a hoodie with extra-long sleeves in the hopes of not having to answer weird questions or worry anyone.

After calling Rian, I cleaned up, also attempting to do the dishes, but I was still tired and I accidentally shattered a glass. I didn’t really care when I swept it up and got some pieces of glass stuck in my palm, which I didn’t think of as bad, to be honest.

I drove to the café, looking forward to seeing Rian and Zack. I hadn’t seen them a lot over the past few weeks, so we had things to catch up on.

Entering the café, I spotted them immediately. They were smooching as always, people were staring a little. I walked over to their table, Mari sleeping comfortably in her buggy.

“Hi guys! How’s it going, old snoggers?” I greeted them, smiling widely. They exchanged looks and Zack replied, “We are doing well, Alex. How so happy?”

“I don’t know, I am just happy!” I replied, very well knowing that this was not the truth. I pulled down my sleeves. I was not used to having to worry about people seeing my scars and wounds, as my old scars were all on my hips and thighs.

They seemed to buy it, waving over the waitress.

“Hi! How can I help you?” She was a cute, dark-blonde redhead, her blue eyes framed with winged eyeliner and she also had a septum piercing.

“We would like to order your entire breakfast buffet for three persons and some mashed apples for our little princess here,” Rian said, batting his eyelashes and giving her his biggest smile. It worked, the girl blushed and wrote it down, stumbling over her feet when she hurried away.

Zack nudged his boyfriend in the ribs, “Hey don’t do that to poor innocent girls!” Rian just laughed, “Like you?” and kissed him on the cheek. Zack slapped his arm but smirked.
“So, how’s it going with you and Jack?” Zack asked.

“Okayish, I guess,” I lied again, forcing a smile, hoping they would not see the mask I was hiding behind. But it was for nothing, they saw through it immediately.

“Lex, I don’t really believe you… What is really going on? I saw Jack in some bars and I heard stories,” Rian said.

I could feel anxiety rising inside me, the familiar feeling of sickness and heat forming in my chest. My good mood from before had vanished. I couldn’t tell them. I just couldn’t. But maybe they would be able to help me? I was scared, I didn’t want to ruin everything and maybe even lose Jack completely. To get more time to think, I turned to Mari and rearranged the blankets around her.

I could only tell them about Jack and his problems, but they’d surely ask me how I was doing, and I was not ready to admit my self-harm relapsing tendencies to them just yet, I wasn’t even admitting them to myself and I don’t think they even knew of me doing it in the past.

But I needed help, and I was sure they would help me.

When I turned back to face them, my eyes were already watery. I saw their faces fall, I saw the shock in their eyes. “Guys… I need to confess something. I…”

I was interrupted by the waitress bringing our buffets, placing down mine first when she saw I was not doing too well. She scurried away, almost knocking over a glass in the process, and returned quickly after entering the kitchen. She had something in her hands, and I thought it was for someone else at first, but then she came to our table and handed me the thing.

It was a huge chocolate brownie muffin and she had stuck in a toothpick with something like a flag out of paper attached to it. I took it off and read the note.

“Dear Alex, I happen to be a big fan of you and your band, and I hate to see you unhappy. Please tell me if you need anything, it’s on the house. Yours, Luna.”
That was it. I burst into tears, clutching the muffin tightly.

I cried for a long time, Rian was taking care of Mari in the meantime while Zack held me tight and tried to calm me down. When I finally started talking, I felt a little sick but nevertheless managed to choke down a sandwich before.

Notes

I am kinda ill ugh... like headaches and dizziness.
Hope you like this chapter!

Please comment/rate/subscribe! :3

-Laura