I stood against the counter, phone in hand and jaw dropped. What the fuck was that? I just said that I don't think we need to break up. Was he even listening to me? Probably not, he never fucking does anymore.

Annoyed, I located my laptop and looked up their tour dates. I needed to know when they're next show is, because I was not fucking dealing with this over the phone. I found one that happened in two days. Great, I'll leave tomorrow. Slamming my laptop shut, I went upstairs and started to pack up, shoving clothes and other things into my bag angrily.

“Stupid, fucking retard.” I mumbled, not even folding anything. “Is he serious? Does he seriously think this is what I want? I'm going to kick his fucking ass.”

Soon I manged to fit enough things into the case, hoping it would be enough. I dragged it down the stairs to leave it by the door and went back to my computer. I needed to find a flight, and maybe a hotel for two nights. One for sure. I manged to get everything said and down and I called Hayley, asking her to take care of Bailey. She asked what for, but I just told her I had a sort of business trip to take care of. All that was left was to wait.

When it was the next day, and time for me to head to air port, I was still mad. I don't think I've ever been so incredibly pissed off for so long in awhile. Maybe years, I have no idea. All I knew is that i'm not exactly sure what I was going to do, or what my exact plan was but I was already here, my flight being called, and Hayley had my puppy. No turning back now. I boarded, and tried to relax, maybe even sleep on the plane since I barely did all night. Of course, that didn't happen.

I made my way to the hotel right after landing, checking in and telling them I might not need the other night, but not to bet on it. Who knows how this thing will go down tomorrow. The time there until I managed to fall asleep was spent with me pacing, trying to figure out what I needed to say. I guess I should throw in that I can admit I should have brought this up to Jack instead of just deciding or myself, but I still was going to make damn sure he knows he's being a fucking idiot about everything too.

The morning couldn't have come soon enough. I spent extra time in the shower, coaxing myself into relaxing and just getting my thoughts straight so everything could just be okay again. I even did my make-up nice, because why not? Then again, I should probably put some in my bag so if I end up crying my eyes out, I can fix it later. What for? I don't know, maybe I'll go out and celebrate my newfound singleness in a way I'll regret on my way back home.

The hours ticked by, and soon I needed to head off to the venue. I was going to be early as hell, but I needed to get in before anything really happens to get this all over with. I walked there, and found security already at the door. After explaining who I was, which was hard as hell since I didn't even have a pass, they called someone down to cofrim it, and I knew it would be Matt.

“Ember?” He asked, eyes widened. “I thought...but....aren't you and Jack done?”
“Not yet we are, now let me in.” I demanded, furious.
“He said-”
“I did not break up with him.” I screamed. “Now let me into this fucking place so I can explain that.”
“Uhh...yeah, let her in.” Matt said, seeing that I was clearly not to be messed with. “He's on the bus...”

I stomped through the building, following the signs to the bus. I got outside, and happened to run into Alex. He was just as shocked as Matt, but didn't get a word in as I made my way past him, openin the door.

Jack was sitting on the couch, looking angry and upset but when his eyes landed on me walking in. He stood up, then paused, looking lost on what to do or say. I bee-lined to him and without a second thought, I raised my hand up and smacked him as hard as I could.

“You are a fucking idiot!” I yelled. “Clearly you weren't fucking listening at me at all, just believing whatever the hell you wanted. I didn't break up with you, I said the last thing we need is to break up! So no, I am not going to leave my fucking key on the counter cause you're going to shut up, stop thinking and listen to me. I. Just. Wanted. To. Help. Us. Why the fuck would I want to break up? We've been through hell and back a million times. And yeah, I know you were fucked up, but you changed. I know it, you know it, so there's no reason to doubt anything about this anymore! Maybe I should have gotten your opinion on this idea at first, but I was worried about your reaction, but now I get all this shit instead! Jesus Christl, like, really? Can I not try to do something without it blowing up in my face? Do you have any idea how shot my fucking nerves are? You aren't the only one with issues, buddy. I'm fucked up too. We both are. And we can be fucked up together if we just fucking worked on it better for the love of God.” I took a deep breath, hearing the door open.

“If you want me here so God damn badly,then fine. I have a bag, I'm fucking here! Or do you want to break up? Cause it seemed like it's the only thing ever on your mind. Cause I can just as painfully leave too. Figure it all the fuck out Jack, how about assuming shit that I'm thinking or want to do, you fucking ask. Or, even better. Listen! I feel like you never actually do! You think I'm lying, all the time. I'm not! I'm trying not to.” I was so pissed, and now I could feel hurt. My eyes were leaking, but I just kept going. “Do you have any idea what's going to happen if this does all end? Especially like this? I am not going to just go back to Hayley's, or even Dalton's. I'd probably find some shitty place to go, get a shitty job since there's no way I can just keep hopping back to Hopeless, and waste away alone and miserable. It's been nearly five years, Jack. The last thing I want to give up is you, but this. All this.” I raise my hands up. “I can't fucking take anymore.”

I turned and saw everyone else there, just as I expected them to be.

“There, you all know now too. Glad you could be part of this.” I said sarcastically. “Isn't it great guys? Fucking tour life is wonderful since we can share every little God damn thing. Now, I'm going to leave the bus and if Jack wants to, I'll wait exactly two minutes for him to decide if he wants to say anything about this, or you know, just give up.” I walked passed them, opening the door. “Tick, tock.”

I stepped off and shut the door, walking a little ways away, finding a fold-able chair and sitting in it, setting my pounding head into my hands.

I wonder if this is over.

Notes

Well. Ain't Ember pissed?