I came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my waist, though my hair was already dried and styled. It was about the only task I'd had the strength to manage. I just needed to sit down for a second, just one second to breathe and try to fight off what was left of this hangover. As if I wasn't hungover enough from the Kick-Off party, once we got on the road, Alex decided that it would be best if we had another party. This one was not only because it was the first official day back on the road, but because we all needed a pick-me-up and everyone was fully aware of the fight I'd had with Ember and Alex was just trying to help.


Problem was, I drank entirely too much. I knew we had a set today and I was kicking myself in the ass for it. At least I can honestly say I did not have a good night. Truthfully, it was horrible. Once I started drinking there was no stopping me. Everyone was having a blast, wrestling and cracking jokes, but I felt.. Incomplete. It was only my second night away from Ember, but it was killing me. I wasn't used to not having her here, not even when I was at my worst. I suppose that's what brought on my 'emotional drunk' phase, to which Alex stayed up half the night trying to assure me that Ember didn't still see me as the monster I used to be.
I knew she did, though. I knew that's exactly why she didn't come on this tour, I knew that's why she wanted space. I knew that's why she'd call off the wedding.


Somehow, I managed to slip on a pair of boxers and yank a shirt over my head. My jeans would have to wait until sound check. I just couldn't bring myself to fight them on at the moment. When I finally plopped down in my bunk and exhaled a deep breath, my phone started buzzing. Growling, I managed to dig around in my blankets until I found it. My heart sank when I saw Ember's name on the screen. This was it. This was the part where she tells me goodbye, the part where she's sitting at the door of our apartment with Bailey leash in her hand and all of her bags packed.


Bitterly, I accepted the call and mumbled a 'yes' into the phone. The tone I got in response only made me feel even more sick.


"Hello to you too. I just wanted to see how you're doing."


"I'm alive," I sighed, rolling over in my bunk to pull my curtain shut. "We've only got about an hour before sound check and I was trying to get a nap in."


"Oh. Sorry I bothered you."


"It's fine. Just don't drag this out, okay?"


"Drag what out?" She snapped, more attitude to her tone. "Are you drunk?"


"I was, last night. But this, the call, the break-up. Just get it over with and put me out of my misery."


There was a long moment of silence. I would have guessed that she hung up on me had it not been for the sound of Bailey breathing into the phone, which almost made me smile. I could just imagine the two of them curled up together. Under different circumstances, it would have made my heart melt.


"I-Is that what you want, Jack? Do you want to break-up?"


Now my heart was thudding against my chest. I'm not sure if it's because I was sad or angry. Perhaps it was just a crazy mix of all emotions that was sending me over the edge. Whatever it was, I didn't like it. Mostly because she had no right to pin this on me. She's the one that wanted her space. She's the one that thought we weren't going to make it.


"You were perfectly clear about your reasons for not wanting to come on tour, Ember," I tried to sound angry, but I just sounded pathetic. "Seriously, if you think our relationship needs to be saved, if you need time away from me.. Just get it over with."


"Jack, I was doing this to help us, not hurt us. Why can't you understand that?"


"Because it doesn't make any sense! Apparently we've been in two different relationships, because I honestly believed we were happy. Since we've started the wedding planning and the dating shit, we've barely fought at all. Words cannot describe how stupid I feel for not seeing that you weren't unhappy and you cannot fathom how much it breaks my heart to sit here, in my bunk and remember what it was like when you were sharing it with me. But you don't remember what that was like, do you, Ember? No, you still feel like you're living with the ghost of who I was when I was fucked in the head. Admit it, Ember, that's why you need a break. You can't see me for who I really am. You still see me as a monster. You want all of this to be over and this is your out."


"Are you fucking kidding me?! Jack, it's not even--" Ember was still talking away, but my curtain had been pulled open. Matt was standing there with his clipboard in his hands, a stern look on his face. He managed to tell me that he needs me in the venue, though it was hard to keep up with what they were both saying. "-- that we need to break-up."


All the color drained from my face. Matt was gone, already making his way to the venue where he expected me to be in less than five minutes. There was a stabbing pain in my heart, one that brought tears to my eyes, though I quickly wiped them away. I guess I didn't need to hear everything Ember had said, because it all brought us back to the same road. She wanted us to go our seperate ways.


Fighting back a sob, I cleared my throat and tried to steady my hands as the words came out.


"Fine, Ember. If that's really what you want. Leave your key on the counter."


And just like that, I hung up.

Notes

WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!