Waking up in bed was great for about ten seconds before realized that not only was I alone, but I was extremely hungover. Rolling over in bed with a groan, I looked at the clock. The boys were sure to be gone by now. Sighing, I sat up trying to ignore the pain in my skull. I know exactly what Jack is doing, and if that's how it's going to be, then fine.

Eventually I got up to take some advil and drink water in the bathroom. Lots of water, before making my way downstairs. At least Jack came home for a bit and carried me to bed, doesn't change the fact that he just...left. I get it, I asked for space, but this is not what I meant. If this is how he wants to play, then fine, whatever.

The whole day was spent nursing my hangover and whining to Bailey cause she was really my only companion right now. Even if all she did was tilt her head and perk her ears at me when I talked. I also managed to go through some work for Hopeless, but not much. I started looking at the menus our venue offered us trying to pick out a meal that was both simple, delicious, and wedding appropriate. I manged to find a couple choices, and nearly called Jack to ask for his opinion. That's when I remembered we were fighting. I just wrote them down, saying that I'll bring it up later.

Later in the day when I decided that I was well enough to handle bleach cleaning the sink, since I kind of ruined it, I tried thinking about what I wanted to eat. Nothing home made, that's for sure, no way was I going to try cooking like this. I decided Chinese would be great and started ordering it, as I scrubbed out the sink.

After I did that, I checked my phone, still no texts or calls. From anyone, shocker. I pouted at the screen before deciding that I was just going to turn it off.

The next day, I woke up on the couch, the take out still sitting on the coffee table. Looked like I passed out during the movie I was watching. Getting up, I went upstairs to change and take Bailey outside. I happened to get a glance at our clock, and noticed I had about two hours before I was supposed to go to see my therapist. Groaning, I quickly got ready, and ran off to find my dog so she could at least potty before I left her for an hour or so.

I called a cab to go to Alex's and get the car before I went to my appointment. I got there with about ten minutes to spare. When I got in the waiting room, I dug in my pocket for my phone to turn it off like usual, and realized it wasn't there. Oh yeah, it's at home. Still off. Sighing, I just picked out a chair and sat in it.

I wonder what the guys are doing right now. I wonder if Jack has tried to call me yet. Or anyone for that matter. Why can't I just be allowed to make a decision, dammit? None of this is fair to me at all.

“Miss Meadows?” My doctor called, walking into the room. I stood up.
“Yeah, I'm here.”
“Hello dear.” She smiled, once I got up to her. “How are you?”
“Terrible.”
“Oh,” She seemed surprised. “Well, we'll talk about it in my office.”

And we did. I told her everything that happened the other night, explaining as best as I could, and she listened carefully the whole time. Once in awhile, she would ask a question. I brought up how he just left without a word, and how I handled it for now. I even told her how now I just wish I knew if he's bothered trying to call me back or anything.

“I see.” She said after I finally finished. “You wanna know what I think?”
“I always do.” I shrugged.

“I think Jack was worried that you're still having issues with what you think of him now, comparing it o what happened on tour. You always tell him it's not lie that, but your actions always tell him otherwise. As for this real reason why, I think you should have told him that from the beginning, instead of assuming immediately he would have had a negative reaction to it. Even if he did, at least you both could have taken care of it then.”
“What about his trust issues?”
“You both have them actually.” She corrected me, and I pouted. “If he wasn't gone, I'd almost suggest you two have couple's counseling. Since it seems like you're out of synch quite a lot.”
“Well, he did leave. Without a word.”
“I know, I know.” She sighed. “He probably was trying to give you the space you wanted, just...not in the best way.”
“Basically making this a fight.” I mumbled. She made no move or suggestion of it being otherwise.
“Call him.” She told me.
“Why should-”
“Because one of you have to be the bigger person here. And I hate to say it, but in a way, you started all this. Try ending it.”
“Okay, fine.” I sighed.
“Anything else you wanna talk about?”
“Not really.” I shrugged.
“Then I guess we're done here. Let me walk you out.”

After the appointment, I got home and located my phone. I stared at it for a bit, before just pocketing it, not bothering to turn it on and whistled for Bailey. I just... I needed a walk before all this. Cause if this was seriously going to be some big huge deal, I would like to not be stressed for an hour or so before it. The dog and I just traveled around he neighborhood, heading somewhat close to downtown, but not really going all the way. By the time we got back, it was about five, and I needed to eat something before I died.

Pouring a bowl of cereal, I got out my phone and turned it on. I waited till it was fully on, ignored the buzzing of missed texts, even though they could be important and called Jack's number. They can't be playing a show yet, nor should they be sound-checking. There's a high chance he'll answer.

Which he did.

“Yes?” He mumbled, and I rolled my eyes.

“Hello to you too.” I said back, not bothering to filter my tone. He started it. "I just wanted to see how you're doing."

Notes

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