It was a cold December day when the girls and I finally went to go get fitted into our dresses. Well, they were just getting fitted, I still needed to pick a dress. I was stuck between three and decided That more opinions would help me out.

So, it was Joyce, Hayley, Cass, Tay Jardine, and I in the store. They're dresses were all getting fixed and tailored around them as I got into the first dress. Putting it, and the matching shoes, on again for the second time made me realize I didn't really like it all that much. It was fitted on half my torso, to a overly diamond studded belt, then sort of poofed out. The shirt was simple with a slight patterned lace over it, but the material under it was a little scratchy, and not that comfortable. I would have to wear a slip under it, and I rather not have more layers then I need to. July was a hot month.

Still, I walked out to where everyone, but Joyce were. This kind of reminded me that I was technically short one bridesmaid, considering Jack had four groomsmen, but I just didn't have that many girlfriends. Maybe I can ask Dalton to fill in.

“That's a no.” Hayley said immediately, upon seeing me. Damn, they all looked so adorable in the little dress we decided on for them to wear.
“Are you crazy!?” Cass gasped. “Ember, you look adorable like that.”
“Too bad I feel like these heels are going to murder me.” I laughed, and Tay seemed to be thinking it over.
“I have to go with Hayley on this one. You look more like a princess right now, not a bride.”
“Just put a crown n her head and call her Queen Barakat.” Hayley giggled, and I shook my head at them. Cass was totally sending them both evil glares.
“You guys are making Cass pout.” I spoke up, and looked over. “Joyce?”
“We haven't even seen you in the other dresses yet, I think we need to do that before making any conclusions.”
“You are such a mom.” I giggled before looking at myself in the mirror. I guess it looked okay, but I still wasn't sure. “Lemme try the other two.”

I went back into the change room, carefully getting out of the dress and grabbing the next one. I could hear the occasional 'ow' from one of the girls getting pricked, or Joyce asking them something. The next dress I put on actually was a lot better then the first, feeling wise. It was still fitted on my chest, then flowed down but this time in ruffles from a ribbon belt. The ribbon was silvery-grey, but I'm sure I could ask for one that matched the purple of the bridesmaid dresses. The hells for this one were still tall, and made me wobble a little from not being used to it, but that can be fixed with practice.

Walking out, Cass nearly squealed and jumped.

“Oh oh, I like that one!”
“Definitely better then the first.” Hayley chuckled. “I like the skirt of that one.”
“You really do look beautiful in that.” Joyce commented. Once again, we all waited for Tay's input.
“What's the next one look like?” She asked.
“More simple and traditional.” I shrugged, starting for the mirror to check this dress out. “I figured I'd try the more fancy ones first since they're harder to get into.”
“Well, I really like this one too.”

I smiled at all of them, and looked over the image in the mirror. I spent more time looking at this, trying to see some flaws in it. Playing with my hair so it didn't look like the mess it was today, turning this way and that, while Cass started talking to me.

“So, it's nearly Christmas, are you still going to be swamped with wedding stuff?”
“Not really,” I said, turning around to look at the back. “I've been purposely trying to just get everything done really fast, and skipping out on a few things since soon the guys are going back on the road.”
“They are?” Hayley asked, and I nodded, doing one more look over.
“Yeah, beginning of next year.” I spoke, playing with the skirt a little, before going back to change.
“Are you going?” Cass asked as I shut the door.
“Not right away.” I called back, changing. “I'm staying home for the first couple months or so. It lasts until June.”
“Cutting it close eh?” Hayley's voice rang through.
“Just a bit.” I swore as I nearly fell over getting into the next dress.

The last dress was a lot simpler, like I saw. Typical white, design and a little flower ornament on the belt. The shoes weren't as high, which was nice, but the flowers on them made me feel like a first grader. Smoothing it out a little, I walked back out to everyone.

“Does Jack know you're not going?” Joyce asked, and I bit my lip.
“Umm...”
“That means no.” Cass said and I stuck my tongue out at her.
“He was really happy about the news, freaking out about how we were going to have a blast on the road again. I didn't have the heart to tell him right then and there.”
“When did you find out about this?” Tay asked.
“A week ago?”
“And you haven't brought it up!?” Hayley gasped, and looked at me. “I still like the other one.”
“I second that.” Cass said, turning to look at me. “And you really need to, Em.”
“Cass, the nickname.” I corrected.
“Matt calls you that!” She whined, stomping her foot. “I'm your best friend.”
“I'm her maid of honor!” Hayley protested, but we all basically ignored her.
“Yes you are, but I don't like that name.” I mumbled.
“But Matt!” Hayley giggled and randomly sang out.
“The Only Exception.”

“Now is not the time for singing!” Cass snorted, and Tay laughed.
“Dude, we're all singers. Except Ember.”
“I'm dating the guitarist. I need to be.” I laughed, and looked in the mirror. “Can we talk about this dress now?”
“We did, we like the other one.” Cass said, but I ignored her.
“Joyce? Tay?”
“I think the other one was a winner.” Tay said, walking over since she was done. “This is too plain.”
“I agree.” Joyce said, “Doesn't really say 'Ember' to me.”
“Hmm,” I looked it over. Yeah, it was really boring.
“And I think you need to talk to Jack, dear.”
“I will.” I sighed, heading back to the changing room. “When I get home.”

The girls all stayed to talk, and watch as I got fitted into the dress we all chose. I was really happy about it, but I couldn't help but feel a little worried. This was really happening, I was getting married. Sure, it was like, seven months away, but it was inevitable. I was starting to worry over little things, that led to bigger things. My appointments mostly consisted of me worrying about what could go wrong, or questioning if this was a good idea. I mean, I'm only twenty-two, granted, Jack and I have been together for so long, but still.

As soon as I was finished, all of us parted ways with simple goodbyes, and I was left to more thoughts as I headed home. I was worried about how Jack was going to react to me not going on tour immediately. I really only needed to be here to finish out my employment with Hopeless, they understood why I would go back to just mostly taking care of All Time Low's funds, but I still had to finish up a few things before I went back to just helping out. There was a few wedding things I need to finish up.

There was a whole another reason why I wasn't going right away though, as well. Despite everything and all the progress I've had with my anxiety and shit, I can't help but worry about going back to life on the road. I'm sure nothing would happen, but that didn't mean the feeling of maybe just left me. I wasn't going to bring it up though, cause I was still going to join them eventually. I just...needed to build up to that.

Walking into the house, I was greeted by an ever growing, not really puppy and the sounds of music coming from upstairs. It made me smile when I heard that. We had set up the music room a bit ago, but for the first couple weeks I never heard Jack actually play in there. Now he does all the time, when he's bored or just feels like it, and I'm glad he's able to get into the spirit to play again.

Climbing up the steps, I walked to the room and found him even humming along to the song he was playing. It sounded like Basket Case but Green Day. His back was turned from me, sitting on the swivel stool we had gotten for the room, foot tapping and everything. Walking in quietly, I interrupted and made him jump once I was close enough to wrap my arms around his shoulders.

“You scared the shit out of me.” He murmured, not really sounding mad or surprised. I only smirked.
“Sorry, but you seemed so into it.”
“I was.” He set down the guitar to turn and pull me closer. “How was it.”
“Fine, everything fits and is ready to go.” I smiled, running my hands through his hair.
“Good,” Jack leaned in and kissed me. “Alex called earlier. He wants to have a New Year's Tour Kick Off party.”
“Oh.” I felt my smile falter. “Yeah, about that...”
“What?” Jack asked, looking worried.
“Umm,” I felt lost on how to say this, and started to fidget. “I...uhh kinda.”
“You can tell me, baby.” He assured, already noticing my nervousness.
“You're not allowed to be mad.” I mumbled, looking away.
“Okay.”

“I'm not going on tour with you.”

Notes

Ohhh, how will Jack take the news?

And here are the dresses in case you're wondering.

Dress 1: http://www.polyvore.com/embers_first_dress/set?id=104675751
Dress 2 (the one she'll be wearing): http://www.polyvore.com/dress/set?id=104675826
Dress 3: http://www.polyvore.com/dress/set?id=104675933
Bridesmaids: http://www.polyvore.com/bridesmaids/set?id=104675997