Better Off This Way

Tour dates left: 3
Actual days left: 6

Being on PTV’s bus was really nice. They always had some sort of hot sauce on board and they always wanted to get burritos or tacos for lunch, any kind of Mexican food really. I wasn’t complaining either, I love spicy foods, but my stomach doesn’t. And then there’s the fat kid drawer. I mean, it can be a problem but candy is a weakness.

The really nice thing about staying on their bus though, was that I didn’t constantly have to deal with being around someone who was a cause of conflict. The guys offered me support constantly and didn’t bring any negativity at all. Matter of fact, I only wonder why I didn’t come onto their bus sooner.

We were all sitting on the couch in the back lounge now, laughing at the previous tour stories that they’ve had and some great stories from this tour. Everything was perfect, and the lack of conflict in my life was just what I needed. Nothing could be better as far as I was concerned.

The guys decided it was time to go out for dinner and I just thought I’d stay back. “Want me to bring you back something?” Vic asked.

“Nah,” I shook my head. “There’s a sandwich I got from Subway a while ago so I’ll just eat that.”

“Suit yourself.” He shrugged and was off with the other boys. I went to go sit in my bunk and pulled out my laptop. I decided now would be a good time to check my emails since I haven’t in a while. There really wasn’t much there. Except for a few from coworkers, just congratulating me on the articles and the A-Okay on getting them published at the end of the month. The only thing left to do now was collab with Adam to get a summary of the tour and submit that and he could use it as a blog post- it’s a win win.

“Hey Blithe,” I heard someone call my name from the front of the bus.

“Over here.” I waved my hand out of the bunk, too lazy to actually see who it was.

“You’ve gotta talk things out with Zack.” Alex sat down at the end of my bed.

“Thanks but he won’t even look at me so how the hell am I going to talk to him?” I rolled my eyes.

“Listen, I don’t care how you do it.” Alex shook his head. “But we have a show tomorrow and he’s way too bummed to even think about it. So you need to go and talk to him because if he’s not in a good mood then we’re gonna suck tomorrow.” He got up and started walking back down the aisle, not saying another word.

“Where is he?” I sighed.

--

Zack sat by the lake and tossed rocks into the water, his pants due to be wet from the dew by now. I could only see his backside, his shoulders slumped and his chin resting on his fist. It was already night so the moon lit up the water in pail moonlight, same with Zack. I walked up to him and he didn’t move a muscle when I sat next to him.

“I’m sorry.” I spoke. My tone wasn’t as sincere as it had wanted but Zack knew the jest.

“You’re right though.” He sighed. “It was wrong of me to intervene, I mean, the two of you were so happy and then I came along and fucked everything up for the two of you. So if anyone should be sorry, it should be me.” All of this came as a surprise. After everything that happened, I never thought that it could ever be anyone else’s fault except for my own. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me in for a side hug. “Do you think you can forgive me?”

“Zack,” I laughed. “I need you to forgive me first, I hurt your feelings and that was wrong of me.”

“You didn’t hurt my feelings,” he shook his head. “You pointed out the truth and that’s a very noble thing to do. And to be honest, you totally did the right thing by admitting to a mistake but I just so happened to be that mistake. Now I will not forgive you because you were not the one at fault.”

“You couldn’t be more wrong.” I shook my head. “That day in the car, I kissed you first, remember?”

“While that proves true, you have to remember that I kissed you on the cheek in Seattle and then right after I performed, I kissed you on the lips. So, I kissed you first and it’s my fault, nothing left to prove Blithe, I take the blame.”

“Zack, no.” I shook my head. “Will you just let me take the blame?”

“Absolutely not.” He was stubborn as an ox.

“Well in that case-” I got out from under his arm- “I will have to forgive you.” I pulled him into a real hug, the type of hug that you give to your best friend after a huge fight. The hug you give to someone when the rain finally stops and all that’s left is a beautiful rainbow. The hug you give to your mom after not seeing her for a few months. The hug you would give to first child when they finally move out. The hug that tells someone you care and want to be there for them forever.

“Do you think that we can at least be friends after all of this shit?” He asked once we both parted from the hug.

“I think that will only be the best idea.” I nodded. “Now stop being sad and put on a kick ass show for Alex tomorrow, his happiness was being harshed by your moping.”

“I promise that I will better my mood for the sake of our fans.” He held up his right hand. We laughed for a minute and looked up at the stars in the quiet, no need to say anything.

“What are you and Neil going to do after the tour?” He finally broke the silence, and decided to answer the question because I knew that Zack actually cared.

“He wants to get back together.” I shrugged. “He said that we could take things at whatever pace I wanted because he still loves me and he said he could wait if he really needed to and I think that it’s beautiful. The fact that he still loves me means that he forgave me and that’s not something I can just take for granted you know? Not after our little stunt at least.”

“Okay, but now I’ve gotta ask, was it bad? The sex I mean.”

“No, it was great actually.” I admitted. And then everything felt wrong again. “But I don’t think we should talk about it anymore. Knowing that it happened and acknowledging our mistakes are good but we don’t have to talk about it or anything.”

“You’re right yet again.” He sighed. “Well, I guess I’ll see you later.” He got up and walked back to his bus, leaving only me at the lake, watching the stars in the sky sparkle. I hope you like the stars I stole for you, one hundred million twinkle lights in neon blue.

Notes

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS STORY IS COMING TO AN END SOON SO I HOPE ALL OF YOU ARE PREPARED ALRIGHT