Fear of Falling Apart

After the last Home Alone movie I looked down at Jack. Only to see that he had fallen asleep on me, clutching my arm tightly. He looked really adorable as he slept, innocent and untouched. I let a small smile escape my lips as he let out a small snore. If only he would go for someone like me, but I'm broken beyond repair and I had rows upon rows of scars to prove it.

Jack mumbled something that sounded far from any language I'd ever heard and snuggled up closer, moving his arm to my waist. I blushed slightly and pushed his hair out of his face, I should probably wake him up. I don't want him to think I'm a creeper for watching him sleep, even though I could probably do it for hours.

"Jack?" I said quietly, lightly shaking his shoulder, "Come on wake up."

He groaned and lifted his head from the croak of my elbow.

"Oh hey Lex, how long have you been here?" he asked, sleep evident in his voice.

I chuckled and shook my head, "Since we got here from school?"

"Oh yeah, I remember now," he mumbled, before realizing his arm was still around me and removing it, "Sorry about that..."

"Don't worry about it," I said, faking a smile to hide my obvious blush.

He smiled as he cheeks reddened from embarrassment, I swear this boy is so cute it's going to kill me someday.

"Jack I'm home!" I heard a feminine voice call from downstairs, "And I brought Pizza!"

"Oh wow it got late fast," Jack mumbled standing up, "You can eat dinner with us if you want, my mom's really nice promise."

"No that's fine," I said, all too quickly, "I mean- My mom's probably worried..."

Jack raised an eyebrow at me, "Alex, I'm not stupid. The only reason someone eats rice cakes is when they're trying to lose weight, which you don't need too."

I bit my lip and looked away. I do need to lose weight, I need to be thin. If I lose control, I'll lose everything. Not like that's much, but the principle's there.

"I never said you were stupid, and I happen to like the taste," I lied, in reality rice cakes were bland and tasteless, but very low calorie. So definitely worth it.

Jack sighed, "Be down in a minute!" he called to his mom and then, "Follow me," to me.

I didn't really have much of a choice because be gently grabbed my wrist and pulled me with him. I could've escaped his grasp if I wanted to, but I just let him pull out of his bedroom and into another. The room was purple with standard furniture and a bunch of pictures of a girl who looked to be a few years older than us.

"This was my sister Jess' room," he said, sitting down on the bed.

"She's really pretty," I observed. Even though I'm gay I still know a pretty girl when I see one, I'm just not attracted to them.

"Yeah I know," he sighed, "She was wasn't she?"

"Was?" I asked, wondering why she wasn't anymore.

"I want to show you something, come here," he said, motioning for me to sit on the bed next to him.

When I did I saw he was holding a small picture frame in his lap. He held it out to me without saying anything. When I took it I saw it was a picture of a girl that vaguely resembled Jack's sister. She had thin blonde hair that was a similar shade to Jess' thick hair. Her eyes were tired, he skin grey and sunken in. There was a ghost of a fake smile on her lips, one that I knew all too well. It was the same smile that I wore everyday.

"That picture was taken a few weeks before Jess died," he said sadly.

"Oh my god Jack I'm so sorry," I said, handing him back the picture frame.

"It was a few years ago so I'm fine with talking about it," he shrugged, "And as you can tell she wasn't too healthy, so we sort of saw it coming."

"If you don't mind me asking, how did she die?" I asked, avoiding eye contact.

"Congestive heart failure," he said, his voice was emotionless, "Caused by her eating disorder. She was anorexic Alex. So like I said earlier, I'm not stupid."

I sat there on the bed as he snaked his arms around me for a hug. I didn't return the gesture, but I did lean into his chest and let him kiss my forehead.

Once the hug was over he grabbed my hand and pulled me downstairs with him.

"Sorry about that mom!" he said cheerfully, "This is my friend Alex, is it ok if he stays for dinner?"

Notes

Yeah I did a thing. I seem to always to things.

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Title Cred: Pierce The Veil- I'd Rather Die Than Be Famous

~Mary