I almost wish I could say the person that said 'time heals all' was wrong. But in reality, they're right. The next time you see me in the hallway or on the street and you ask me how I'm doing, I won't be lying when I tell you I'm doing good. When fall turned into winter and the world around me froze, I tried to leave. But when winter turned to spring and new life was born, I started to heal. And now that it's almost summer, I really am truly happy.

My dad doesn't check me for new cuts anymore. He doesn't have to; I haven't even thought about harming myself in a very longtime. The beginning was hard, but I survived. I learned that I had people to lean on; I learned that I wasn't alone. And now that it's all said and done, I feel something that I haven't felt in a vary long time. I feel loved. I know that people care for me, I know that I'm not alone. It was difficult for me to believe in the beginning. But the people so precious to me proved time and time again that they wouldn't leave me. And now here I am, happy.

"Alex, come on son you have to wake up!" I heard me dad yell from downstairs, "I know it's that last day of school but you still have exams to take so you can't be late!"

The truth is I was awake, dressed even. I just wanted to relish in the sense of calm that had fallen over me this morning. It was like I accepted that what happens on my exams happens, there is no more studying I can do. Because despite what you might think, I actually want to pass all of my exams and move on from Junior year to Senior year and graduate next year. I feel confident I guess, enough to know I'm going to do better than Jack and Rian. Probably not Zack or Matt though, those guys are geniuses I swear.


With out answering my dad I grabbed the few things I would need for today-a few pencils and my calculator for math- and trudged the stairs. As I reached the kitchen, I inhaled the smell of bacon and eggs. Looks like dad's cooking again, awesome. I learned that even though my father is an overworked, stressed out nurse, he's an amazing cook.

"Morning sleeping beauty," he joked as I sat down at the table, "Hurry up and eat, Jack'll be here to pick you up soon."

I nodded and dug into the plate of delicious food he sat in front of me. Part of me wanted to savor it for the flavor. But another (bigger) part of me wanted to shovel it down. Needless to say I ended up burning my tongue.

"Are you excited the year's ending?" Dad asked as he sat down with his own plate of food.

"I'm more excited to be done with finals," I joked, "So ask me about summer when I get home tomorrow."

He chuckled, "Oh yeah, I almost forgot you were going to Rian's to celebrate tonight. But you're at least excited to go to California, right?"

"Obviously!" I exclaimed, "I'm spending the summer with my boyfriend and two best friends to record an album. I couldn't ask for anything better!"
"You're forgetting that the Barakat's and I are coming too," he reminded me.

"But still," I responded, "It's going to be sick! Everything's perfect!"
Dad shook his head and chuckled at my undeniable excitement for the months to come. He opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by a car horn from outside.

"And there's my ride!" I exclaimed, bounding to the door, "See you tomorrow dad!"

"Good luck Alex!" he called behind me, "And have fun tonight!"

"Jacky!" I exclaimed as I hopped into the car, "I missed you!"

I leaned over the center console and kissed his cheek. He chuckled and blushed. It's so cute how he still gets all flustered when I touch him. Even though we've been together for a really long time.

"You just saw me, what 12 hours ago?" he reminded me, smirking.

"Yeah well I was stressed and tired then so it doesn't count," I argued.

"And you're not anymore?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow at me, "We're not done yet you know..."

"I've accepted that I can't do anymore to prepare," I responded, "I just have to go in there and use what I know to my advantage. I know for a fact I'll have to bullshit some stuff, but honestly, I'm done caring."

"Spoken like a true under achiever," he joked, "I've taught you well."

"Not really," I countered, "I stayed up until I couldn't see straight studying last night. So no, you haven't taught me shit."

He rolled his eyes playfully, "Well played Gaskarth, well played."

---

By the time the final bell, I was tired, frustrated and extremely ready to leave that hell hole for a few months. Funny how one thing can change you're entire attitude about a day. When I woke up this morning I was ready to take my tests and then celebrate with the guys. But now, I kind of just want to cry.

I'm over reacting and I know it. But I don't really care. Apparently I failed my calculus exam and have to re-take the second semester either in summer school or next year. Obviously I chose next year; I can't let my stupidity ruin all of our plans. But that means I have to double up on math classes to meet the credit requirement to graduate. Meaning I have to drop my elective course second semester.

Who's ever heard of a musician not taking a music class? I wanted to drop spanish instead because I have enough language credits. But no, it has to be an elective course. So yeah, I'm frustrated, and I have every right to be.

"Hey babe," Jack said softly, coming up behind me as I cleaned out my locker, "Feeling any better?"

I had already texted Jack everything that had happened. So he knew how upset it made me. I hate failing; more than anything.

"No not really," I mumbled, staring straight into the back of my locker, willing the tears stinging in my eyes to not spill over, "I hate this."

"I know you do Lexy," he said gently, wrapping his arms around my torso, "But think of it this way, when you have to take it again next year, you'll already know what to expect. That should make it easier on you."

"But still," I whined, "Next year we're seniors Jack. It's supposed to be an easy year of tying up lose ends before we leave this place for good. But now I can't even take the god damn classes I want to!"

Jack kissed my temple gently before speaking, "That class is a joke baby. Why do you think Rian, Zack and I have never taken it? And besides, you're already in a signed band, there's nothing she can teach you."

I shook out of Jack's grip enough to turn around face him. I leaned up a pecked his lips before whispering, "How do you always make me feel better?"

He smiled and kissed my forehead, "Just part of my charm. Now come on, let's go eat junk food and play violent video games with our three best friends."

Notes

Oh hey guys, long time no see... hehe... I suck and I know it. But finals and other things... ughhhh... This is filler because I have shit to do before class today... Sorrynotsorry...?

Title cred: All Time Low- Somewhere In Neverland

Mary <3