Manage Me
It's Just a Lyrical Lie, Made up in My Mind
A week went by. I was doing so well in physical therapy that I was off my crutches and now just had a brace on.
However, I was having night terrors. I would wake up screaming and sweating with the guys surrounding me, watching a nurse insert a sedative into the IV in my hand. I dreamt of bright lights and my own screams.
And sometimes, in the dreams, Alex died on impact. Sometimes I dreamt that we were both dead and he was cussing me out for not forgiving him until it was too late. Sometimes I’d dream that he was decomposing in the hospital bed right before my eyes, worms crawling out of his eyes and ears.
I slept a lot, with the exhaustion and the drugs they were giving me. The guys, as far as I knew, took turns being with Alex and I. I knew it was hard on all of them. I didn’t know how I’d ever get in a car again. Every time I thought about it, I’d start shaking and sweating and my heart would quicken.
Alex was mostly the same. There’d been times where his hand would twitch or his eyelids would flutter. Little things that gave the doctors hope that he’d wake up.
--
Late one night, or morning, or afternoon, I was shaken awake by Jack.
“Brooke, Alex is awake.” he whispered.
My eyes shot open, but I remembered my injuries, so I carefully lifted myself out of bed and Jack helped me. I limped next door to see Alex in bed, leaning against his pillows.
“Brooke,” he whispered.
I carefully walked to him, navigating the tubes and machines. I hugged him carefully, remembering his ribs.
“Alex,” I whispered back.
I was at a loss for words and it seemed like he was too. What were we supposed to say?
“Alex....I’m...sorry. I took it too far, being mad at you...” I said, but he put his hand up.
“Shhh, none of that, okay? I forgive you. I always will. Question is, will you forgive me?” he asked, boring his intense brown eyes into my hazel ones.
“Alex, are you joking? You threw yourself in front of me so that the truck would hit you. You were in a fucking coma for like a week. Of course I do!” I cried, throwing my arms around his neck. When I pulled away, I kissed his cheek. He blushed.
“Brooke, I love you. That’s why I did what I did. And I don’t regret it. I just wish we’d stayed on the shoulder a little longer, or taken a different way home. Anything not to see you like this.” he said.
“Alex, stop. We’re both alive. And that’s what matters.” I smiled, kissing him softly on the lips.
However, I was having night terrors. I would wake up screaming and sweating with the guys surrounding me, watching a nurse insert a sedative into the IV in my hand. I dreamt of bright lights and my own screams.
And sometimes, in the dreams, Alex died on impact. Sometimes I dreamt that we were both dead and he was cussing me out for not forgiving him until it was too late. Sometimes I’d dream that he was decomposing in the hospital bed right before my eyes, worms crawling out of his eyes and ears.
I slept a lot, with the exhaustion and the drugs they were giving me. The guys, as far as I knew, took turns being with Alex and I. I knew it was hard on all of them. I didn’t know how I’d ever get in a car again. Every time I thought about it, I’d start shaking and sweating and my heart would quicken.
Alex was mostly the same. There’d been times where his hand would twitch or his eyelids would flutter. Little things that gave the doctors hope that he’d wake up.
--
Late one night, or morning, or afternoon, I was shaken awake by Jack.
“Brooke, Alex is awake.” he whispered.
My eyes shot open, but I remembered my injuries, so I carefully lifted myself out of bed and Jack helped me. I limped next door to see Alex in bed, leaning against his pillows.
“Brooke,” he whispered.
I carefully walked to him, navigating the tubes and machines. I hugged him carefully, remembering his ribs.
“Alex,” I whispered back.
I was at a loss for words and it seemed like he was too. What were we supposed to say?
“Alex....I’m...sorry. I took it too far, being mad at you...” I said, but he put his hand up.
“Shhh, none of that, okay? I forgive you. I always will. Question is, will you forgive me?” he asked, boring his intense brown eyes into my hazel ones.
“Alex, are you joking? You threw yourself in front of me so that the truck would hit you. You were in a fucking coma for like a week. Of course I do!” I cried, throwing my arms around his neck. When I pulled away, I kissed his cheek. He blushed.
“Brooke, I love you. That’s why I did what I did. And I don’t regret it. I just wish we’d stayed on the shoulder a little longer, or taken a different way home. Anything not to see you like this.” he said.
“Alex, stop. We’re both alive. And that’s what matters.” I smiled, kissing him softly on the lips.
Notes
Title: Lyrical Lies, Cute Is What We Aim ForYay!! Alex is okay!! But did y'all think I'd really kill him off? I don't know how long this is gonna be, but we're not close to the end. Plus I couldn't do that morally. It would hurt me.
Next chapter, there will be lots of cute feels.
Anywho. I have over 1500 views on this. I'm so amazed and thankful to every single one of you. I love you guys!
Thanks to:
mkelly
Britt
tragic_ending
SaraBethGaskarth
and of course, SociallyAwkwardRocker
I've been stumbling across stories I've read, and checking them out again since I seem to forget them after it's been a while. This was one of those cases.
Reading this again, and after reading other stories on here and Mibba, I've realized that with my last comment, I was a bit off. Yes, Brooke and Alex's relationship was cute when they were together/sweet to each other, but reading it again, their relationship was a bit abusive. Neither is completely innocent, but the version of Alex you wrote in this took it to the next level. I realize a lot of it was because of his insecurities, what he dealt with in the past, etc., but Brooke didn't deserve any of that. When she did mess up, she definitely didn't take her anger to the levels he did.
Idk, I'm conflicted because again, when they were together, it was cute, but then it just got sad when they weren't. I'm not sure why she put up with as much as she did.
Your writing is still good, though. Just wish they didn't have so many downs in their relationship. It got really sad at a lot of points, and I just felt Alex didn't need to take it to the degree he did, I mean really.
I doubt you saw my other comment, but just thought I would comment again as an update and to possibly get you to see it.
11/19/17