If you could choose
Cause you're one worth saving.
I woke up, and tossed off my blanket. I was so hot. I laid there staring at the ceiling of my bunk. I picked up my phone to check the time, but noticing I had a message. I sat up and read the text.
From Bass:
Alright. I'm all good I'll see the show and stuff! So excited to see you! :P
To Bass:
I'm so excited too! When do you get down here, maybe we could hang out earlier than that?!
From Bass:
I'll get there round... 12:45 ish. Give or take a few... You know I gotta pee.
To Bass:
Yeah I know. Now keep your eye on the road and as time gets closer I'll text you the location of the venue and such! See you then! :P
I tossed my phone into my bunk and hopped down. I didn't hear anyone so I decided to take this time to take a shower. I gathered up all the stuff I would need and stepped into the bathroom. I pulled off my shirt and shorts along with my underwear.
I stared at my body for a few, the scars on my stomach still visible but I doubt anyone even noticed. Despite the fact they littered my stomach, stupid purple and red scars. I let my eyes lead me to the ones I slashed on my wrist. I looked at my body in the mirror. I was disgusted by what I saw but didn't have enough motivation to stop.
I shook my head trying to rid the thoughts. I started the shower and stepped in. I started by washing my hair. I was trying to lighten my mood thinking I was gonna get to see Bass before I started getting really busy with the tour. I started to sing. I rarely ever sang in the shower it just felt right.
"I should be over all the butterflies but I'm into you (I'm into you) And baby even on our worst nights I'm into you (I'm into you)." I was even dancing a little. Bass had become a big part of my life when the guys left.
"I don't mean to piss you off with things I might say but when I try to shut my mouth they come out anyway when I speak my mind, that's when we connect But that's not politically correct." I switch from Paramore to SR-71... That's just how my brain works.
I finished washing humming the whole time. I turned off the water and drier myself off actually feeling pretty good about myself. I brushed out my hair then shook it to give it a look while it dried. I started to sing a little louder now.
"So what if the sex was great just a temporary escape another thing I grew to hate But now that's over. Why you always kick me when I'm high knock me down till we see eye to eye. Figured her out I know she may not be Miss Right but she'll do right now." I jumped out of the bathroom with my towel wrapped around me. I did an air guitar. "Wow..." I heard someone say behind me.
I stopped what I was doing and quickly turned around. I held the towel tighter to my body. "Oh hello... Didn't know you guys were back." I said awkwardly, with all eyes on me. Then Matt walked in. "Guys. Seriously that my sister!" He said and pushed his way to me. I decided I wasn't gonna let this ruin my good mood.
"Maybe I liked the attention Mathew." I said and headed to the back lounge. I went through my suit case and picked out what I wanted to wear today, especially since Bass was coming. I decided it was a good day to show off. If they thought yesterday's outfit was riskay they'll be shocked.
I put on a black bandeau, a strapless bra, my under wear, and some dark jean shorts. I pulled on 4 wrist bands on my left to cover what I did to myself. I put in a new ear rings, tongue ring and belly ring. I slipped on some socks followed by my shoes. I walked to my bunk picking up my phone.
I texted Bass the address, and then realized what time it was. It was 1 o'clock. My phone started to ring.
Bass: Hey, gorgeous. I'll be there in like three minutes give or take like 5.
Then he hung up. I stuffed my phone back in my pocket and realized I never tied my shoes. "Come on." I said. I tied them. I stood back up and heard Alex. "Hey Matt. Who's that?" I heard everyone walk over to the window. I tried to run into the front lounge but tripped. Everyone turned and looked at me. "I'm ok." I said standing up reaching for the door.
"What are you wearing?!" Matt questioned. I threw open the door and yelled across the parking lot. "Bass!" He closed his door and looked at me. "Lover!" I started to run to him. He opened his arms widely. I got to him and jumped into his arms. He held me up, while my legs were wrapped around his waist. "God I missed you!" I said really loud leaving kisses all over his face.
"I missed you too!" He said back. He kissed my cheek and I hopped off him. "Are you hungry?" I asked. "Yeah, that drive was so long." "Well I'm glad you came to visit me." I said kissing his cheek again. "What are you in the mood for?" I asked pulling him toward the bus. "I don't care. Is that the belly ring I bought you?" "Yep. My favorite one actually." He smiled.
All the guys were standing outside the bus. "Excuse me." I said to the guys blocking the door. I pulled Bass on with me. "I just gotta grab my wallet." I said and left Bass in the middle of the front lounge. I grabbed my wallet and walked back out. All the guys were sitting in the living room. "Alright, We'll be back before call-" "So you gonna introduce your brother?" Matt said with arms crossed in front of the door.
I rolled my eyes. "This is Sebastien. Bass this id my brother, Matt." Matt held out his hand. "Hey." Bass said. "Hmm." I heard Alex cough behind me. I huffed and turned around. "Ok! Bass this is Rian, Zack, Jack , and Alex." I said pointing to each person. Alex stood up. "Hey, nice to meet you." I grabbed Bass's hand. "Alright gonna go eat-" "Great! I'm starving!" Jack said standing up.
Everyone followed us outside. I sighed and leaned into Bass's ear. "Sorry." "All good. I'll get you later." He said. We started down the sidewalk. We saw a chinese place. "Yes! Chinese!" Bass and I yelled at the same time and ran across the street. We walked in. "How many?" This guy asked. "7." I said back. He nodded and took us to a large table. Some how Bass and I got separated. He on one side across form me and me across from him on the other.
We sat down. I hand Jack and Alex on either side of me. Zack and Matt were next to Bass. And Rian at the end. I mouthed "Sorry" To Bass. He nodded. We all took our menus, looking through them. I set mine down. "Let me guess. General Tao's chicken with LoMein?" Bass said to me. The guys lowered their menus. "Maybe..." "Totally nailed it!" He said. "Alright, sir. I bet your getting Shrimp Fried Rice." I leaned back in my chair. "So?" "Your just as predictable as me." I said back sticking out my tongue.
He did the same and I leaned across the tabled and pushed it back into his mouth. "Gross." He said. Everyone was just staring at us. "By all means start your interrogation, Jesus! Stop being so weird!" I said leaning back in my seat. "Alright." Matt started. I sighed and stood up and walked to the hallway where the bathrooms were.
"Paige." Alex said behind me. "What Alex?" I asked a little annoyed. "We're just confused. I mean when did you meet this guy?" "When you guys left for tour one time. I went to a party and he was there... and we just became good friends after-" "If your such good friends, how come you've never talked about him before?" He asked crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"Every time you guys come back it's always about your tour. So I never got the chance. He knows more about me then you do any more." "Is that including your body, Cause you're dressed very provocatively." Alex said. I'm not gonna be mad, I'm not gonna yell at him. "Yes and No. I have slept with him before, but that's non of your business-"
"Paige were best friends! What else don't I know about you?" "Alex I'll tell you later alright? I wanna enjoy this time with him... I won't see him the rest of tour." I said looking at him. He looked down and nodded. I walked past him and back to the table. I sat down and everyone was looking at me. Jack grabbed my shoulders and turned me around. "Ow."
He let go. "That's really cool."
Jack said. He was talking about my tattoo. "Thanks." I said. "Out of them all, I like the heart beat one." I turned around giving Bass a look. He sunk in his seat a little. "AHHA! It wasn't just one but two!" "Nope, Jack. I have more than that." I said. Matt gave me a look. "How many?" "A couple. Nothing major." I said. Alex came back to the table. "Paige has multiple tattoos Alex... Multiple?!" Jack said.
Alex gave I small laugh. "She's not just Flyzik's sister anymore guys. She's over 18 and has a life in front of her, and she's lived enough to have a past." He said taking his seat. I reached for his hand under the table. He smiled. Our food came out and we all ate, Bass ordered for me. We all ate in silence for a minute before Zack spoke up.
"So how do you two know each other?" "I met her a one of Bill Grayson's parties a while ago." "You went to a Grayson's party?!?" Matt asked shocked. "Yeah so?" "Those are like... real parties." "Matt, please try to realize I am not 10 looking for my mommy any more." I said. "I just..." He shoved a piece of chicken in his mouth. "Have you been there ever ytime she's gotten a tattoo?" Rian asked. "For the most part yeah, But if I'm not there when she gets them she shows me so it's not a big deal."
I nodded. "I took her for her 16the birthday to get her, belly button pierced." "Oh so you did that?" Matt asked. "On her request, yes." "And it was the coolest gift ever that year!" I responded back. "Were we in town for that?" Jack asked. "Nope, you guys were in Europe." I said. "Sorry." Matt said. I nodded. We finished in silence for the most part.
We left the place and were headed back to the venue. "You guys ready for a great show?!"I asked walking backwards. "Hell yeah!" Jack yelled back at me. He ran up to me and tried to drag me off. "Help!" I yelled no one came. "Fine!" I yelled back they all just laughed. "Hey! Barakat! Put down the pretty girl!" "Yes. Put me down." "No way! You'll have to save her!" Jack yelled.
Vic grabbed Tony's arm and they both ran over. "I got Barakat. You make sure he doesn't drop her." Vic said. Vic started to tickle Jack. He let go and I thought I was doomed, until Tony caught me. "Thanks, My hero!" I said in a damsel in distress voice. "It was all my jedi mind tricks." He said. I laughed. Vic finally stopped tickling Jack. "Uggghhh." Jack groaned. I helped both off the ground and we started towards the bus.
Jack was walking super slow. "Come on Jack." I said and grabbed his arm pulling him with me.We finally made it to the door and I opened it. They were all sitting around in the front lounge. They all had serious looks on their faces. "Alright, what's up with you guys?" I asked. "Nothing." Matt said angrily. "All right well the show starts in like 20 minutes so..." I said, they all stood up and left the bus.
I made Bass walk slower with me. "What happened?" I asked. "I promise I'll tell you later alright?" "Ok..." I said and we walked into the venue's back doors. was standing side stage with Bass waiting for the guys to walk out. Jack walked up and gave me a hug. "Sorry." He whispered into my ear and ran on stage first. That freaked me out, but I shook it off.
We're about 10 minutes into the show. I scoot closer to Bass, on the wall we were leaning against. I take my hand and place it on his thigh, I rub circles with my finger. He wraps his left arm around my waist and draws patterns on the open skin on my hip. I move my hand a little further up and I see his chest rise fast.
I lean into his side bringing my lips to the sweet spot only I knew about behind his ear. I nibbled at the area, then licked the new bruise forming. I blew a little air on it, making him shiver. "We could take this to my bunk?" I whisper and he looks at me, I bite my lip. He's unsure but nods. I grab his hand and we exit the venue. We make it to the bus. He pushes my up against it, my back hits the cold metal.
I draw in a sharp breath, as he attaches himself to my neck. I pull his face up to mine connecting our lips. We fought for dominance but he lets me win. I loved this kid for that. I push him away and run off to the bus. I open the door and he follows closing it behind him. I shimmy out of my shorts and leave them on the floor.
I crawl in my bunk and Bass walks up. I pull him in, crawling on top of him straddling his legs. He rests his hands on my hips playing with the hem of my under wear. I lift off my top showing the bra underneath. He reaches around and unclips it dropping it to the bottom of my bunk. I lean down and kiss up his chest pulling his shirt off at the same time.
He pulls it the rest of the way over his head and I start unbuckling his jeans. I get them undone and pull down his pants at a snails pace. "Stop teasing!" He says to me breathlessly. I grin and rip his boxers down along with the rest of his pants. He leans up and pulls me underneath of him. He plays with the hem of my panties while my right nipple is in his mouth.
I moan and arch my back. He smirks and pulls my panties down. I throw my hand around in my bunk searching for a condom. I found one and he ripped it out of my fingers. He throws it on. He lines himself up and thrusts in. I let out another moan. He picks up speed as he thrust slowly making me come undone.
I reach and grab his neck pulling his face down to mine. Our tongues tied and him rubbing me, is making me realize I'm so close. "Fuck, I'm so close." I mutter into his lips. I feel him smiled and quicken his pace. I throw my head back and dig my nails into his back. I let my body go limp as climax racks my body, he does the same but holds me up, riding out both of our climaxes.
I get myself together and slid back on my clothes. He does the same. We walk back to the venue and sit down on stage left. We're leaned up against the wall. "I...uh. I told them Paige." He said. I looked at him, with serious concern in my eyes. "What?! Told them What?" I questioned. "About the party, and what happened... I know you'll be happier this way-" "No Bass. They aren't like you. They will baby me, and never let me leave their sight! I won't be allowed to do anything." I said to him.
"Paige... you can sneak around it... we just did, remember?" He said leaning on my shoulder. "You can tell them about this, whenever your ready." He said tapping my wrist with the wrist bands on it. "It's just so hard to stop alright. I'm sorry." I said he just scooted closer to me. "I know, You'll find it." "Find what?" "The thing you stop everything bad for." He kissed my cheek. And the show ended.
The shows been done for about an hour and unfortunately Bass has to leave tonight to be back to work in 2 days. I was standing out by his car and the guys out by the bus, watching us. I close the door after giving a hug. I lean in the window and we kiss each other. It was long and sweet and had tongue. He pulled away. "You can't give me a boner right now, I gotta drive." He said starting his car and waving. He pulled off and I started towards the guys.
"oooohhh! We saw you kiss him." Rian said. "So?" I ask walking onto the bus. "So... are you guys dating?" Matt asked. "No. That would be so weird." "But I don't get it." I turned and looked at them. "Yes, you do." I turned back around and went to my suit case. I pulled out a long sleeve shirt and some shorts and pulled them on.
I pulled my hair into a bun and walked back into the living room. I went to the fridge and pulled out a beer, chugging almost the whole thing. "Can you come sit." Alex asked. I looked at them all sitting staring right back at me. "I guess." I walked over and sat on Zack's lap. "So... Your friend, Bass told us-" "I know he told me." I said they let out some relief, but I took in more beer.
"Why wouldn't you tell us?" Matt asked. "Cause." I stood up walking over to the fridge and getting another. I popped the top. "It's just easier if I deal with it." "No it's not, Paige-" "Yes it is Alex. I didn't want help and I don't need it. I'm fine now." I chugged my full beer and threw the can away. "You don't look ok." Jack said.
"How would you guys know how I am?! You haven't come and asked me how I was doing, or called me while on tour. You're supposed to be my family, but there I was alone, scared, and broken. And you know what it was me trying to fix it by myself that made the person you see today." I said walking over to the liquor thing.
I pulled out a bottle of Jack. I spun the top off and pulled it to my lips. I turned to go to my bunk. "Paige. Come back." "I don't wan to." I said, but turned and came back anyways, taking yet another sip of alcohol. "Why?" Zack asked. "Cause you guys didn't." I started to cry. Alex jumped up and tried to give me a hug. "Please don't. I know your trying to help but it just... I don't know anymore."
I leaned against the wall sliding down. "I was invited to the party by some kids at school so I figure why not. I got there and was handed a cup, I had never really been to a party so I just kept drinking." I wiped my eye. "It started to get a little fuzzy when some guy walked up. He was so nice at first but then he took me somewhere quiet. I mean I don't really remember anything else but I come and go and can see his face. I feel as though it's my fault though.... like I almost asked for it. I know it's messed up but..."
I trailed off taking another sip and wiping the tears off my face. "I didn't have anyone. I looked for mom but couldn't find her." I looked up at their faces. "I dealt with it the only way I thought." I lifted the bottom of my shirt and just as I thought no one noticed before. "Why would you choose that?" Alex asked. "I don't know but it sort of became a habit and I did it every time something bad happened..." I trailed off.
"When was the last time you.." Rian pointed towards my stomach. "I haven't cut there in years-" "That's really good Paige." Matt said. I started to cry even harder. "I don't get it." Zack said. "I know and I don't want you to know... It's hard enough for me to hold it in." I said and took a long swig of the Jack. I tried to stand up but held myself against the wall. "What do you mean?" Jack asked.
"I haven't cut on my stomach in what feels like forever..." I looked around, they still don't get it. "I cut other places. The most recent being my wrists. They bleed a lot better. I fell on my knees and lifted my sleeves to show the cuts. New on top of old. I looked around the room and stumbled to my feet again. "I just wanted it to be over. I stood at the edge of that bridge, I was gonna do it too."
I started to cry really hard clenching at my stomach thinking I may throw up. Alex had tears running down his cheek. "You all can Thank Alex for saving me. I stepped off and he pulled me back, Your thinking 'Thank God!' But yes let's Thank God so saving the fucking damned. Let's thank him for making me believe that I'm worthless, or that I cut my body to smithereens, or that I'm so fucked up that the chinese food I ate today is the first thing I've kept down in 4 days. Yeah let's thank him I wanna go to hell."
I finished out of breath gasping for air. I clenched at my chest and tried to calm myself down but the tears flowed and flowed. I was hoping the air would magically enter my lungs but they wouldn't. I felt a body catch me as I fell to the floor. "Paige you have to breathe, alright? In and out. You can do it. I promise." I heard Alex say. I gripped to his shirt taking fist fulls in my hands. It took a few but I started breathing normally.
I looked up at Alex. "I'm not worth saving, why try so hard?" I asked in the smallest voice. "Cause you're one worth saving." He spoke just as soft. I laid into his chest again. He stood up and pulled us into him bunk. I curled into him. I was exhausted, I fell asleep so fast.
From Bass:
Alright. I'm all good I'll see the show and stuff! So excited to see you! :P
To Bass:
I'm so excited too! When do you get down here, maybe we could hang out earlier than that?!
From Bass:
I'll get there round... 12:45 ish. Give or take a few... You know I gotta pee.
To Bass:
Yeah I know. Now keep your eye on the road and as time gets closer I'll text you the location of the venue and such! See you then! :P
I tossed my phone into my bunk and hopped down. I didn't hear anyone so I decided to take this time to take a shower. I gathered up all the stuff I would need and stepped into the bathroom. I pulled off my shirt and shorts along with my underwear.
I stared at my body for a few, the scars on my stomach still visible but I doubt anyone even noticed. Despite the fact they littered my stomach, stupid purple and red scars. I let my eyes lead me to the ones I slashed on my wrist. I looked at my body in the mirror. I was disgusted by what I saw but didn't have enough motivation to stop.
I shook my head trying to rid the thoughts. I started the shower and stepped in. I started by washing my hair. I was trying to lighten my mood thinking I was gonna get to see Bass before I started getting really busy with the tour. I started to sing. I rarely ever sang in the shower it just felt right.
"I should be over all the butterflies but I'm into you (I'm into you) And baby even on our worst nights I'm into you (I'm into you)." I was even dancing a little. Bass had become a big part of my life when the guys left.
"I don't mean to piss you off with things I might say but when I try to shut my mouth they come out anyway when I speak my mind, that's when we connect But that's not politically correct." I switch from Paramore to SR-71... That's just how my brain works.
I finished washing humming the whole time. I turned off the water and drier myself off actually feeling pretty good about myself. I brushed out my hair then shook it to give it a look while it dried. I started to sing a little louder now.
"So what if the sex was great just a temporary escape another thing I grew to hate But now that's over. Why you always kick me when I'm high knock me down till we see eye to eye. Figured her out I know she may not be Miss Right but she'll do right now." I jumped out of the bathroom with my towel wrapped around me. I did an air guitar. "Wow..." I heard someone say behind me.
I stopped what I was doing and quickly turned around. I held the towel tighter to my body. "Oh hello... Didn't know you guys were back." I said awkwardly, with all eyes on me. Then Matt walked in. "Guys. Seriously that my sister!" He said and pushed his way to me. I decided I wasn't gonna let this ruin my good mood.
"Maybe I liked the attention Mathew." I said and headed to the back lounge. I went through my suit case and picked out what I wanted to wear today, especially since Bass was coming. I decided it was a good day to show off. If they thought yesterday's outfit was riskay they'll be shocked.
I put on a black bandeau, a strapless bra, my under wear, and some dark jean shorts. I pulled on 4 wrist bands on my left to cover what I did to myself. I put in a new ear rings, tongue ring and belly ring. I slipped on some socks followed by my shoes. I walked to my bunk picking up my phone.
I texted Bass the address, and then realized what time it was. It was 1 o'clock. My phone started to ring.
Bass: Hey, gorgeous. I'll be there in like three minutes give or take like 5.
Then he hung up. I stuffed my phone back in my pocket and realized I never tied my shoes. "Come on." I said. I tied them. I stood back up and heard Alex. "Hey Matt. Who's that?" I heard everyone walk over to the window. I tried to run into the front lounge but tripped. Everyone turned and looked at me. "I'm ok." I said standing up reaching for the door.
"What are you wearing?!" Matt questioned. I threw open the door and yelled across the parking lot. "Bass!" He closed his door and looked at me. "Lover!" I started to run to him. He opened his arms widely. I got to him and jumped into his arms. He held me up, while my legs were wrapped around his waist. "God I missed you!" I said really loud leaving kisses all over his face.
"I missed you too!" He said back. He kissed my cheek and I hopped off him. "Are you hungry?" I asked. "Yeah, that drive was so long." "Well I'm glad you came to visit me." I said kissing his cheek again. "What are you in the mood for?" I asked pulling him toward the bus. "I don't care. Is that the belly ring I bought you?" "Yep. My favorite one actually." He smiled.
All the guys were standing outside the bus. "Excuse me." I said to the guys blocking the door. I pulled Bass on with me. "I just gotta grab my wallet." I said and left Bass in the middle of the front lounge. I grabbed my wallet and walked back out. All the guys were sitting in the living room. "Alright, We'll be back before call-" "So you gonna introduce your brother?" Matt said with arms crossed in front of the door.
I rolled my eyes. "This is Sebastien. Bass this id my brother, Matt." Matt held out his hand. "Hey." Bass said. "Hmm." I heard Alex cough behind me. I huffed and turned around. "Ok! Bass this is Rian, Zack, Jack , and Alex." I said pointing to each person. Alex stood up. "Hey, nice to meet you." I grabbed Bass's hand. "Alright gonna go eat-" "Great! I'm starving!" Jack said standing up.
Everyone followed us outside. I sighed and leaned into Bass's ear. "Sorry." "All good. I'll get you later." He said. We started down the sidewalk. We saw a chinese place. "Yes! Chinese!" Bass and I yelled at the same time and ran across the street. We walked in. "How many?" This guy asked. "7." I said back. He nodded and took us to a large table. Some how Bass and I got separated. He on one side across form me and me across from him on the other.
We sat down. I hand Jack and Alex on either side of me. Zack and Matt were next to Bass. And Rian at the end. I mouthed "Sorry" To Bass. He nodded. We all took our menus, looking through them. I set mine down. "Let me guess. General Tao's chicken with LoMein?" Bass said to me. The guys lowered their menus. "Maybe..." "Totally nailed it!" He said. "Alright, sir. I bet your getting Shrimp Fried Rice." I leaned back in my chair. "So?" "Your just as predictable as me." I said back sticking out my tongue.
He did the same and I leaned across the tabled and pushed it back into his mouth. "Gross." He said. Everyone was just staring at us. "By all means start your interrogation, Jesus! Stop being so weird!" I said leaning back in my seat. "Alright." Matt started. I sighed and stood up and walked to the hallway where the bathrooms were.
"Paige." Alex said behind me. "What Alex?" I asked a little annoyed. "We're just confused. I mean when did you meet this guy?" "When you guys left for tour one time. I went to a party and he was there... and we just became good friends after-" "If your such good friends, how come you've never talked about him before?" He asked crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"Every time you guys come back it's always about your tour. So I never got the chance. He knows more about me then you do any more." "Is that including your body, Cause you're dressed very provocatively." Alex said. I'm not gonna be mad, I'm not gonna yell at him. "Yes and No. I have slept with him before, but that's non of your business-"
"Paige were best friends! What else don't I know about you?" "Alex I'll tell you later alright? I wanna enjoy this time with him... I won't see him the rest of tour." I said looking at him. He looked down and nodded. I walked past him and back to the table. I sat down and everyone was looking at me. Jack grabbed my shoulders and turned me around. "Ow."
He let go. "That's really cool."
Jack said. He was talking about my tattoo. "Thanks." I said. "Out of them all, I like the heart beat one." I turned around giving Bass a look. He sunk in his seat a little. "AHHA! It wasn't just one but two!" "Nope, Jack. I have more than that." I said. Matt gave me a look. "How many?" "A couple. Nothing major." I said. Alex came back to the table. "Paige has multiple tattoos Alex... Multiple?!" Jack said.
Alex gave I small laugh. "She's not just Flyzik's sister anymore guys. She's over 18 and has a life in front of her, and she's lived enough to have a past." He said taking his seat. I reached for his hand under the table. He smiled. Our food came out and we all ate, Bass ordered for me. We all ate in silence for a minute before Zack spoke up.
"So how do you two know each other?" "I met her a one of Bill Grayson's parties a while ago." "You went to a Grayson's party?!?" Matt asked shocked. "Yeah so?" "Those are like... real parties." "Matt, please try to realize I am not 10 looking for my mommy any more." I said. "I just..." He shoved a piece of chicken in his mouth. "Have you been there ever ytime she's gotten a tattoo?" Rian asked. "For the most part yeah, But if I'm not there when she gets them she shows me so it's not a big deal."
I nodded. "I took her for her 16the birthday to get her, belly button pierced." "Oh so you did that?" Matt asked. "On her request, yes." "And it was the coolest gift ever that year!" I responded back. "Were we in town for that?" Jack asked. "Nope, you guys were in Europe." I said. "Sorry." Matt said. I nodded. We finished in silence for the most part.
We left the place and were headed back to the venue. "You guys ready for a great show?!"I asked walking backwards. "Hell yeah!" Jack yelled back at me. He ran up to me and tried to drag me off. "Help!" I yelled no one came. "Fine!" I yelled back they all just laughed. "Hey! Barakat! Put down the pretty girl!" "Yes. Put me down." "No way! You'll have to save her!" Jack yelled.
Vic grabbed Tony's arm and they both ran over. "I got Barakat. You make sure he doesn't drop her." Vic said. Vic started to tickle Jack. He let go and I thought I was doomed, until Tony caught me. "Thanks, My hero!" I said in a damsel in distress voice. "It was all my jedi mind tricks." He said. I laughed. Vic finally stopped tickling Jack. "Uggghhh." Jack groaned. I helped both off the ground and we started towards the bus.
Jack was walking super slow. "Come on Jack." I said and grabbed his arm pulling him with me.We finally made it to the door and I opened it. They were all sitting around in the front lounge. They all had serious looks on their faces. "Alright, what's up with you guys?" I asked. "Nothing." Matt said angrily. "All right well the show starts in like 20 minutes so..." I said, they all stood up and left the bus.
I made Bass walk slower with me. "What happened?" I asked. "I promise I'll tell you later alright?" "Ok..." I said and we walked into the venue's back doors. was standing side stage with Bass waiting for the guys to walk out. Jack walked up and gave me a hug. "Sorry." He whispered into my ear and ran on stage first. That freaked me out, but I shook it off.
We're about 10 minutes into the show. I scoot closer to Bass, on the wall we were leaning against. I take my hand and place it on his thigh, I rub circles with my finger. He wraps his left arm around my waist and draws patterns on the open skin on my hip. I move my hand a little further up and I see his chest rise fast.
I lean into his side bringing my lips to the sweet spot only I knew about behind his ear. I nibbled at the area, then licked the new bruise forming. I blew a little air on it, making him shiver. "We could take this to my bunk?" I whisper and he looks at me, I bite my lip. He's unsure but nods. I grab his hand and we exit the venue. We make it to the bus. He pushes my up against it, my back hits the cold metal.
I draw in a sharp breath, as he attaches himself to my neck. I pull his face up to mine connecting our lips. We fought for dominance but he lets me win. I loved this kid for that. I push him away and run off to the bus. I open the door and he follows closing it behind him. I shimmy out of my shorts and leave them on the floor.
I crawl in my bunk and Bass walks up. I pull him in, crawling on top of him straddling his legs. He rests his hands on my hips playing with the hem of my under wear. I lift off my top showing the bra underneath. He reaches around and unclips it dropping it to the bottom of my bunk. I lean down and kiss up his chest pulling his shirt off at the same time.
He pulls it the rest of the way over his head and I start unbuckling his jeans. I get them undone and pull down his pants at a snails pace. "Stop teasing!" He says to me breathlessly. I grin and rip his boxers down along with the rest of his pants. He leans up and pulls me underneath of him. He plays with the hem of my panties while my right nipple is in his mouth.
I moan and arch my back. He smirks and pulls my panties down. I throw my hand around in my bunk searching for a condom. I found one and he ripped it out of my fingers. He throws it on. He lines himself up and thrusts in. I let out another moan. He picks up speed as he thrust slowly making me come undone.
I reach and grab his neck pulling his face down to mine. Our tongues tied and him rubbing me, is making me realize I'm so close. "Fuck, I'm so close." I mutter into his lips. I feel him smiled and quicken his pace. I throw my head back and dig my nails into his back. I let my body go limp as climax racks my body, he does the same but holds me up, riding out both of our climaxes.
I get myself together and slid back on my clothes. He does the same. We walk back to the venue and sit down on stage left. We're leaned up against the wall. "I...uh. I told them Paige." He said. I looked at him, with serious concern in my eyes. "What?! Told them What?" I questioned. "About the party, and what happened... I know you'll be happier this way-" "No Bass. They aren't like you. They will baby me, and never let me leave their sight! I won't be allowed to do anything." I said to him.
"Paige... you can sneak around it... we just did, remember?" He said leaning on my shoulder. "You can tell them about this, whenever your ready." He said tapping my wrist with the wrist bands on it. "It's just so hard to stop alright. I'm sorry." I said he just scooted closer to me. "I know, You'll find it." "Find what?" "The thing you stop everything bad for." He kissed my cheek. And the show ended.
The shows been done for about an hour and unfortunately Bass has to leave tonight to be back to work in 2 days. I was standing out by his car and the guys out by the bus, watching us. I close the door after giving a hug. I lean in the window and we kiss each other. It was long and sweet and had tongue. He pulled away. "You can't give me a boner right now, I gotta drive." He said starting his car and waving. He pulled off and I started towards the guys.
"oooohhh! We saw you kiss him." Rian said. "So?" I ask walking onto the bus. "So... are you guys dating?" Matt asked. "No. That would be so weird." "But I don't get it." I turned and looked at them. "Yes, you do." I turned back around and went to my suit case. I pulled out a long sleeve shirt and some shorts and pulled them on.
I pulled my hair into a bun and walked back into the living room. I went to the fridge and pulled out a beer, chugging almost the whole thing. "Can you come sit." Alex asked. I looked at them all sitting staring right back at me. "I guess." I walked over and sat on Zack's lap. "So... Your friend, Bass told us-" "I know he told me." I said they let out some relief, but I took in more beer.
"Why wouldn't you tell us?" Matt asked. "Cause." I stood up walking over to the fridge and getting another. I popped the top. "It's just easier if I deal with it." "No it's not, Paige-" "Yes it is Alex. I didn't want help and I don't need it. I'm fine now." I chugged my full beer and threw the can away. "You don't look ok." Jack said.
"How would you guys know how I am?! You haven't come and asked me how I was doing, or called me while on tour. You're supposed to be my family, but there I was alone, scared, and broken. And you know what it was me trying to fix it by myself that made the person you see today." I said walking over to the liquor thing.
I pulled out a bottle of Jack. I spun the top off and pulled it to my lips. I turned to go to my bunk. "Paige. Come back." "I don't wan to." I said, but turned and came back anyways, taking yet another sip of alcohol. "Why?" Zack asked. "Cause you guys didn't." I started to cry. Alex jumped up and tried to give me a hug. "Please don't. I know your trying to help but it just... I don't know anymore."
I leaned against the wall sliding down. "I was invited to the party by some kids at school so I figure why not. I got there and was handed a cup, I had never really been to a party so I just kept drinking." I wiped my eye. "It started to get a little fuzzy when some guy walked up. He was so nice at first but then he took me somewhere quiet. I mean I don't really remember anything else but I come and go and can see his face. I feel as though it's my fault though.... like I almost asked for it. I know it's messed up but..."
I trailed off taking another sip and wiping the tears off my face. "I didn't have anyone. I looked for mom but couldn't find her." I looked up at their faces. "I dealt with it the only way I thought." I lifted the bottom of my shirt and just as I thought no one noticed before. "Why would you choose that?" Alex asked. "I don't know but it sort of became a habit and I did it every time something bad happened..." I trailed off.
"When was the last time you.." Rian pointed towards my stomach. "I haven't cut there in years-" "That's really good Paige." Matt said. I started to cry even harder. "I don't get it." Zack said. "I know and I don't want you to know... It's hard enough for me to hold it in." I said and took a long swig of the Jack. I tried to stand up but held myself against the wall. "What do you mean?" Jack asked.
"I haven't cut on my stomach in what feels like forever..." I looked around, they still don't get it. "I cut other places. The most recent being my wrists. They bleed a lot better. I fell on my knees and lifted my sleeves to show the cuts. New on top of old. I looked around the room and stumbled to my feet again. "I just wanted it to be over. I stood at the edge of that bridge, I was gonna do it too."
I started to cry really hard clenching at my stomach thinking I may throw up. Alex had tears running down his cheek. "You all can Thank Alex for saving me. I stepped off and he pulled me back, Your thinking 'Thank God!' But yes let's Thank God so saving the fucking damned. Let's thank him for making me believe that I'm worthless, or that I cut my body to smithereens, or that I'm so fucked up that the chinese food I ate today is the first thing I've kept down in 4 days. Yeah let's thank him I wanna go to hell."
I finished out of breath gasping for air. I clenched at my chest and tried to calm myself down but the tears flowed and flowed. I was hoping the air would magically enter my lungs but they wouldn't. I felt a body catch me as I fell to the floor. "Paige you have to breathe, alright? In and out. You can do it. I promise." I heard Alex say. I gripped to his shirt taking fist fulls in my hands. It took a few but I started breathing normally.
I looked up at Alex. "I'm not worth saving, why try so hard?" I asked in the smallest voice. "Cause you're one worth saving." He spoke just as soft. I laid into his chest again. He stood up and pulled us into him bunk. I curled into him. I was exhausted, I fell asleep so fast.
Notes
Outfit: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=98521805
11/12/13