Dawn’s POV
They were whispering about me again. I could hear it. I mean, they weren’t trying to be sneaky about it. Why would they be? The whole school hates me. I didn’t even have my sister because she was four years younger than me. I was completely and utterly alone. Nobody would help me. No one would sit with me. As soon as I walked through those doors, I only had myself.
The other students talked about me, called me names, and pushed me in the hall. A day didn’t go by that I wasn’t left alone. No of the teachers would help either. They saw. I know they did. Whenever I walked past them, they would give me these sad looks. They knew that there was nothing they could do. It’s not like they could suspend the whole school but me.
These are the reasons why I started self harming. I wasn’t dumb though. I knew that if I put a blade to the bottom of my wrist, there was a chance of me bleeding to death. I wasn’t afraid of death. It’s just that... I don’t know. Maybe part of me still wanted to fight back even though I knew deep down that it was futile. So instead of using a knife, I used a calligraphy pen. You can’t cut with them. Instead, it’s more like carving into your arm. You’re slowly scraping the skin away.
Today was one of those days were I just wanted to use my pen like crazy. Lily would not shut up about me. Her and her girlfriends kept pointing at me and laughing before saying something else. Lily was the one that always made fun of me the most. She was one that always made school my living hell. It didn’t matter what I did. Lily always found a way to make fun of me. Her gang did as well.
“She’s probably a les,” Lily told the other girls. “I bet she hangs out with all the other whores and licks them all over.” Their laughing stopped when an unexpected voice came up.
“You shouldn’t be making fun of her.”
That male voice sounded familiar. I just barely moved my head, so that I could see who stuck up for me. I couldn’t believe it. The guy was Lily’s boyfriend, Jack Barakat. I never really paid attention to him before. To me, he was just the boyfriend of the devil named Lily and also the guy that has a locker right next to mine. Now that I actually look at him. I could see that he was good looking. He had black hair that hang in his face a little bit and also had blonde parts in it. It reminded me of a skunk. His eyes were large and were so dark to the point where they almost looked black instead of brown. His nose was rather large, but it seemed to suit him nicely, and he was lanky. If I wasn’t so pathetic and actually stood a chance, I would crush on him, but I knew that that was pointless. I was a nobody, and he already had a girlfriend.
“Why shouldn’t I make fun of her? She’s just some pathetic emo kid.”
“Maybe she’s only like that because you and the whole school make fun of her.”
“Whatever. This conversation is over.”
I turned my head away when he looked at me. I didn’t want him to see how ugly the girl that he stood up for was. Jack really shouldn’t have done that. It’s not like they will ever stop, and he probably just got in trouble with his demon of a girlfriend. I’m not worth that at all. I was just a nobody with no friends, no life, no talents, nothing. Jack may have not been the most popular, but he was still dating one of the most popular girls in the school. I could just imagine what would happen if they broke up because of me...
I needed to stop thinking about him. Jack was none of my concern. I picked up my pencil and started to work on the lyrics that I had started before I went to school today. It seemed like it was coming along nicely. Although, it’s probably not going to be the best because I suck at rhyming. Oh well...
Darkness is filling my head,
I’m just laying in this bed,
Doing nothing but dying,
But you still won’t leave me alone,
So I’m left here crying.
I really liked these lyrics. I could only imagine what it would be like if I was able to perform them with a band on stage. Perhaps, I would be happy for once. Perhaps, I could help others like me. I sighed. This would never happen though. How could someone like me become famous? It was impossible. There was absolutely no way that that could happen. Besides,the world would only except me into the music world if I was pretty, but I’m not. I’m like the ugly duckling, except I will never look better and I will never be accepted.
After class was finally over, I went to my locker to put my books away and to grab my jacket. Of course, Jack was at his locker as well. Things were just never easy on me. I put the combination in and opened up my locker. The feeling of someone watching me came over me. Making sure that my bangs covered my eyes, I looked over at the teenage boy that stood next to me. I was right. He was looking at me, but he stopped when I started to. Jack had obviously saw that I had started looking at him. The thing that I didn’t suspect came next though. There was a very faint color pink on his cheeks. I was confused, but I didn’t even get a chance to question him if I wanted to because Lily came strolling up next to him. I turned my gaze away from the couple. I could only imagine what she would say if she caught me looking at her boyfriend in any way, shape, or form.
“We need to talk.” Her arms went across her chest.
“Then talk.” He had no emotion in it at all. Instead, he just continued to grab what he needed to take home, which I did the same thing slowly.
Again, things never go in my favor. Lily looked at me with disgust. “Why don’t you get your ugly ass out of here, so I can talk to my boyfriend?”
I quickly grabbed the rest of my stuff and then started walking towards the door. On the way though, I could hear Jack stick up for me again. “Don’t talk to her like that. She’s never done anything to you.” I couldn’t help but smile as I walked out the doors.
Once home, I walked straight up to my room and laid down on my bed. My eyes closed as I listened to nothing. It was completely silent. No footsteps came up the stairs. It seemed that my sister and parents didn’t know that I came in, or they didn’t need to talk to me right now. This was the perfect chance. I really needed it. I got up from my purple and black bed and made my way over to my personal bathroom. As I walked to it, I grabbed my calligraphy pen off my desk. I slowly started to take the skin off of my arm so that it would say “nobody”.
“Des, get out of the bathroom,” my little sister, Care’s, voice came from the other side of the wooden door.
“I’m going to the bathroom.”
“No, you’re not. You would have been out by now. I timed you.”
I really didn’t want to stop, but I had no choice. Care might tell Mom and Dad if I didn’t come out. They didn’t know that I self-harmed. They didn’t know about me being bullied at school. The only thing that they thought they knew was that I was a happy average student that had friends but didn’t want them over because my parents would embarrass me. Yeah, they were way off.
I put everything away, walked out, and laid down on my bed. Care sat down on the edge of the bed. She may have acted like she didn’t care, but I knew that she did. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t ask me how my day was or try to get me to stop when I start.
“Did anything new happen today?”
“No.” Then I remember what happened at the end of the day. “Actually, yes. Someone actually stood up for me today.”
“Who?”
“You know Barakat, right?”
“He helped you out?” She didn’t seem to believe me. I just nodded. “Wow. I never thought that that would happen. I mean, he is dating the bitch of the school.”
“Yeah.”
Later that night, I finished with what I was doing when Care interrupted me. With every scrape, I could just feel all of the emotions. My mind made me think of every word they had called me. This only made me harm more. I wonder if it will always be like this. Wait. Of course, it would this was life after all.

Notes

You can read Time-Bomb right now. It's completed. I'm going to start putting up thank yous in the next chapter because I have to go to school soon.