After some hours of sleeping, the anaesthetics seized to work and I was woken up by pain. Not only pain where my wounds were, but also with a monstrous headache. I felt something next to me and quickly realized that it was Jack. I snuggled into his chest, letting him warm me. I felt cold, but that was probably because of the blood loss. But what do you have a boyfriend for, right?

But soon I wasn’t able to only enjoy Jack’s warmth anymore, as the memories of his pained expression sneaked their way into my mind. It is hard not to cry when pictures of your boyfriend crying float before your eyes. I was also scared of him leaving me, but his little speech had helped me calm down. But I was able to feel the anxiety rising… In an attempt to stop it, I poked the wounds through the gauze. It wasn’t much but the sharp sensation helped me think more clearly.

I knew that Jack loved me. I had seen it in his eyes when I told him about my self-harm, another person will only show this much pain when they really love you. Still, he could decide at any second that I was too much of a burden and leave me. It had taken me a long time to let him into my life, and an even longer time to admit to myself that I loved him. Because when you love someone, they can hurt you.

I fiddled a little with my gown, trying to think of something else. Just then, Jack mumbled some words in his sleep. I found it cute at first, but when he kept on talking, I went rigid with fear. I had hoped to never hear something like this from his mouth.

“I am a horrible person for eating this! I-I need to get rid of it as soon as possible.”

Notes

Can you feel with Alex? First his own problems, and then this?

I got another chapter and I feel like it is really good argh when do I post it

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-Laura