When Jack started to undress himself to change, I couldn't help but let my eyes wander taking note on how skinny he really was. I didn't like it. Well, I did, but this wasn't the healthy skinny.

"Alex, stop staring at me please." Jack pleaded when he pulled over my grey crew neck.

I mentally slapped myself when I remembered the Jack could actually feel/sense when somebody's eyes were on him.

"Sorry, you're just really beautiful." I said with a smile on my face.

Jack just scoffed and slipped back on his shoes and sat on the near by table staring blankly at me.

"Still want to go to dinner?" I asked while grabbing my keys of the key holder by the door.

"I guess." Jack said with a shrug.

"Yo, perk up. You're my boyfriend now and I like my boyfriends happy. Especially when they're a certain Jack Barakat." I said smirking.

Jack giggled and stood up.

"That's more like it." I said and leaned forward to kiss his nose.

"Well let's get going. I'm taking you to Texas Road House."

Jack nodded and reached for my hand but retracted it when he remembered there were teachers and students in the hall right outside the door.

"When we get there." I said and slapped his butt just as he walked out of the teachers lounge door, music already swallowing us.

~

I pulled into the parking lot of the resturant, Hawthorne Heights quietly playing to fill in the silence.

"You okay, love?" I asked Jack when he was pulling at the hem of my crew neck.

"Of course. Just wish I had my sun glasses." He said motioning to his eyes which I could clearly see that they were blurred over and pointed in different directions. A normal person would have thought it looked crazy, like a googly eyed bobble head but I thought nothing of it. It reminded me of my friend Phil when he doesn't wear his glasses or contacts cause he's cross-eyed without them.

"I got you." I said while reaching over to the glove department and pulling out a pair of purple rimmed sunglasses and placed them in Jacks hand.

"Thank you very much." He said grinning and slipped them on.

"C'mon then." I said, English accent slipping which made me stop dead in my tracks.

"Was that a British accent I heard, Lex?" Jack asked and I breathed out a laugh.

"Possibly." I said, opening my car door and walking over to open his for him.

"I may have you talk with that more often." He said smiling when we reached the doors to the building.

"In your dreams, Barakat." I said in a equally as strong English accent.

~

Jack and I had already ordered our food, me getting a steak and Jack being a little kid and getting chicken strips and a salad. While we were waiting for our food, I was picking off small pieces of bread and throwing them across the table successfully hitting Jack on the nose once or twice.

"You're an ass, you know that right?" Jack asked as he picked up the piece that fell into his lap and ate it, moaning softly at the taste. I mean have you tasted their rolls?

"You love it though." I said and he sighed dramatically. "Whatever." He said with a laugh.

"Anyways, did you have fun tonight?" I asked while taking a sip of my iced tea.

"Mhm, a lot more than I imagined. Started off rough but got better cause of a certain someone." Jack said with a smile.

"Why exactly did it start bad? I know Cass ran to me and said then would be a good time to do the scavenger hunt." I said looking up with a worried expression even though he couldn't see it.

Jack sighed. "We got there and I felt how crowded it was and started to freak out. Alan invited me to at least dance with him since I wouldn't be his date. So I did, and while we were dancing he started to spin me 'round and he let go sending me falling backwards and I couldn't find him. People were stepping on me, kicking me, and totally ignoring my pleas for help. Cass and Rian got me after that. Not sure were Zack was during all of that, though." Jack explained with a sort of sad look on his face.

"Want me to fail him? He is in my 4th period English class." I said with a laugh and Jack shook his head.

"Nah, that's not fair." Jack said as our food made it's way towards our table. The waiter smiled at us and walked away, not disrupting our coversation.

"So, Jack, tell me more about yourself." I said and he shook his head.

"Nuh uh. You basically know my life story. You tell me about yourself." Jack said and now it was my turn to sigh.

"Where do I start?" I asked and Jack just shrugged and blindly (no pun intended) started to pick at his food.

"Start from wherever you feel fits best."

I just hummed.

"Well I was about 13 when I moved from England to here. For some reason all that triggered my anxiety. I started to have a lot of panic attacks, many of which were at school. Kinda like you. Wasn't fun. Anyways, my high school years were by far the worst. If people tell you high school is the best 4 years of your life they are liars. I've told you about my self harm and all that, too." I said, giving myself a break.

"Why'd you start that?" Jack had asked me after swallowing another bite of his food.

"I'm not exactly sure I remember. I know it helped my anxiety and all that. It got worse when I came out my senior year." I said and Jack nodded along.

"But I graduated top of my class and got a scolorship to the top college here. So that kind of blew them away. That's basically it." I said and Jack game me an uncertain look.

"You're hiding something from me. I can feel it." Jack said and I sighed. He was right.

"I mean... Did you have anybody to get you through all of this? Like a boyfriend?" Jack asked softly and I cringed.

"Alex, I felt your legs tense from under the table, are you okay?" He asks and I sigh and reach over to lace my fingers with his.

"I mean, yeah, I did... It was my Senior year when I had this one boyfriend. His name was Gabe and let's just say he wasn't there for me to get through all of this." I said quietly and Jack just squeezed my hand.

"What do you mean?" He asked and I took a sip of my drink that was already melted down.

"He wasn't exactly loving and caring towards me." I said and Jack gasped.

"He didn't..." Jack said and I sighed.

"Yeah, he did. I don't want to go into details but he did abuse me and that lasted about 2 years. Several hospital trips, too. My Senior year and another year after we broke up. He'd still beat me up even though we weren't in a relationship. So it was an abusive relationship for about a year, and then like I had a bully all over again even when I graduated and out of high school." I explained and I saw a small tear roll down Jack's cheek.

"I just... Jack I don't want this to happen to you, I'm not letting no one do this to you. I'm going to be the best person I can be to you, you know? You deserve much more than I ever had and i'm going to be the best fucking boyfriend you will ever have." I said with a smile and Jack just laughed.

"I'm holding that against you."

I laughed and shook my head as I paid for dinner.

"Let's get you home. I think it's going to storm soon."

~

(Jack's POV)

Alex pulled up slowly into my driveway, cautious about the rain. I like rain, but when it storms I hate it. Lighting and thunder scares me to no end.

"I'm glad you had fun tonight, Jacky." Alex said leaning over to grab my palm and kiss it.

I whimpered when I heard a distant boom in the sky. If you didn't know, blind peoples senses are a lot stronger than those who have all their senses. Hearing is my strongest one. So you can imagine how sensitive my ears are during thunder storms and all that. When I go to concerts, I wear headphones. I still hear them great though. It made me mad when I met Mark Hoppus cause I couldn't see him, only hear him talk. They gave me their guitar pics and they signed a CD for my dad to add to his collection of signed CD's.

"I actually did." I thanked Alex and unbuckled my seat belt but screeched loudly as I felt the rumble of thunder through the car.

"I better get 'cha inside." Alex said and ran over to my side of the car to open it for me and quickly pulled me out and dragged me up to the front porch barely getting wet.

"Do you want me to come inside?" He asked and I shook my head.

"Mom is home. Wouldn't be good." Alex just hummed.

"Oh, Lex, your jacket." I called and he groaned.

"Keep it for now." He said with a laugh.

I smiled back and nodded, blowing him a kiss.

"I caught it and put it in my pocket." He yelled and I laughed.

"Bye, Lex." I said laughing and walked into my house hearing my mom in the kitchen probably doing what it sounded to be dishes.

"Hi mommy." I said with a smile and sat down on the counter.

"Hey sweetie, how was homecoming?" She asked and I smiled.

"Pretty great. I had a lot of fun. I-I danced with Cass and Rian some... Zack vanished." I said and she laughed.

"Probably to the weight room knowing that poor kid." She said and I just nodded cause yeah, that'd make sense.

"Honey, who's jacket is that? And those clothes? Those aren't yours. And where are your dress clothes?" My mom questioned and here comes the panic.

"T-the jacket is Rians and s-some of the clothes Mr. Gaskarth found for me in the lost and found. We got trapped outside in the rain for a bit so I was soaked." I said pretty gracefully and my mom just hummed.

"My dress clothes are in Rian's athletic locker." I added and she hummed again.

I could still hear the faded booming and I whimpered. My mom just sighed.

"Go upstairs, baby. Try and sleep through it." She said and I nodded and began my careful journey upstairs to my room.

I kicked off my shoes and curled under the covers, pulling Alex's sweater closer around me. Sure enough, I heard a loud crack of lighting followed by three loud bangs of thunder. I choked out a sob and pulled my legs under the sweater in a fetal position and pulled my hands into the sleeves.

"Jesus Christ, is the world ending outside?" I mumbled and scoffed when that was answered by a particuarlly loud clap of thunder.

I brought my hands to my nose, smelling the sleeves, smiling when it smelled like laundry soap, Alex's Ambercrombie body spray and a mix of just Alex. I was still shaking but I was almost in a trance. Everything around me kind of faded away. I felt calm. I wondered if this is what drugs felt like cause if it was, Alexander Gaskarth is my drug.

"His love is my drug." I whispered, taking another sniff.

I heard a soft knock on my door and almost ignored it cause it could have been a tree knocking on something, but when I heard it again, it deff was my bedroom door.

"Come in." I called while untangling my legs from under the hoodie/crewneck/sweater, whatever the fuck it truly is called.

"Hi sweetie. I have some Ativan for you. Do you need it to help you sleep?" She asked and I nodded. Ativan was my anxiety medicine and it always helped calm me down completely and help me sleep.

My mom put it in my hand and I tried to swallow it dry for the first time but I failed, making a sour face and made grabby hands at my mom for a drink. She laughed and handed me the drink so I could wash it completely down, getting rid of the remaining pill in my throat.

"Thanks, mommy." I said and I could just feel the huge smile on her face. I remember my therapist one time telling me that my mom loved it when I still called her mommy even though I'm seventeen and way too old for that stuff. But it makes her happy so I say it.

"Welcome, honey. Get some rest. Or do you need to go take a shower?" She asked and I shook my head.

"I'll take one in the morning and make sure to text you when I get out." By 'text', I mean press this intercom button we have all over the house.

"Okay, night, Jack." She said, leaning forward to kiss my still semi styled hair.

"Night."

I smiled to myself, feeling sleep already starting to take over. I rolled over, placing the sleeves to my face and breathed in my teachers scent, not even daring to recognize how very illegal all of this is.

Notes

So HEY this feels like a long chapter and I hope it was cause wowie!

I started another fic also and it's called One More Thing Before You Go. I'd appreciate it if you check it out and leave comments. it's Here
Anyways, leave comments please and thank you! Silent readers make me sad :c