It's been a week since my little uh, episode with Adam and he hardly lets be out of his sight. Yeah, I suppose that could be good in some ways, but its bloody annoying. Whenever he sees me in the corridor at school, he asks me loads of questions like how I'm coping, if anyone's said anything, all stuff like that. I just wish he's give me some space or something. Suddenly, the bell went and I almost jumped out of my seat. That means that English was finally over, and I could go to my next lesson.
“You okay Em?” Zack asked.
“Yeah, I just sort of zoned out I guess” I said.
“At least you don't have to pay attention since you've done all of this before” He said.
“Yeah I guess” I replied. We walked out of English and bumped into Adam half way to science.
“Emma, can you remind Dad I'm staying at Jack's tonight, so I wont be home until Sunday” He said.
“Yeah, sure” I said. He hugged me then me and Zack carried on walking to science. We got in and we were going over the nervous system, something I'd also learned back home.

On our way to meet Adam at lunch, I'd noticed Zack was looking a little distant. I shrugged it off, he's probably worrying about the 500 word English essay that we had to hand in in a week. I could just turn in one of my old ones that I got an A+ on. We saw Adam waiting for us in the usual spot and just like everyday since my little 'break down' he gave me the 20 questions, except today, there was quite a few about homework. When I'd had enough of that I dragged Zack off to Music.
“Why does he have to ask so many questions? I get it, he cares, but I don't need this every single day” I ranted.
“Huh? What?” Zack asked. He wasn't listening to a word I said.
“Did you listen to any of that?” I asked him.
“Sorry, I was thinking about what I was gonna write for the essay” He said. I sighed.
“Do you want me to help?” I asked. He nodded.
“Thanks Em, where would I be without you?” He laughed then leaned down and pecked me on the lips. We walked in to music and took our seats. In an hour and a half, I'd be able to leave and not return for the weekend.

“I am so glad its finally the weekend” I said.
“Me too, oh and Mum's out of town Saturday, do you maybe wanna stay the night?” Zack asked.
“I'll ask Dad then text you later” I said as we got into Zack's car. Since Adam wasn't in the car, we put on some Falling in Reverse and sang along to it all the way home. Zack pulled up outside my house and I kissed him before getting out.
“Bye Zack, I love you” I said.
“I love you too” He replied. I hopped out, waved him off, then walked inside to Mum and Dad arguing. I popped my head around the living room door.
“Uh, Dad, Adam's staying at a friends, he wont be home until Sunday” I said. He just nodded so I went upstairs and fell onto my bed. It's weird without Adam being here, I can do whatever I want and he wouldn't know. I didn't like it. I didn't feel safe. Especially with all the shouting going on downstairs. I just couldn't block it out, and if I put my music up too loud I'd just get told to turn it down again. After at least and hour I couldn't stand it any more, so I put some shoes on, put my earphones in then walked out and went for a walk whilst listening to some Mayday Parade, just like I used to back home in England. I've been missing England a hell of a lot recently, the way the weather changes so unexpectedly, the hype for bonfire night on the 5th of November, my Nana's Sunday roast dinners, the way people get annoyed at everything so easily, just all the little things. I really hope we get to go back and visit at some point, I think a little trip home is just what we all need right now. I stopped and looked around. I realised I was in the park where Zack first kissed me. I smiled to myself and carried on walking. I was in a weird mood, that one between happy and sad, but feels nice. Then I made the mistake of checking if any of the benches were free for me to sit on, because right there, on the bench next to me, was Zack. And he was making out with some girl. I looked closer and realised who it was. Brylee Thompson. I felt sick to my stomach. Only a few hours earlier Zack said he loved me, and now here he was, sucking face with Brylee. The one who calls me weak or an attention seeker or a slut or whore every single day. I couldn't believe it. I slowly walked up to them and stood there for a second.

“Zack?” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. Zack and Brylee suddenly broke apart as if I had just made them jump. Brylee just smirked at me and Zack froze.
“How could you?” I spat. He stood up and put his hand on my cheek but I slapped it away.
“Emma, she was gonna help me with my English homework” He said.
“No Zack, I was going to help you with your English homework, not her. And you call this homework? Making out on a park bench? I thought you were different Zack. You promised you'd never hurt me. I, I loved you” I said and started crying.
“Emma, I'm so sorry, it wont happen again” He said.
“Whatever Zack. We're over. I don't ever want to see your stupid face again” I shouted then stormed off. He ran after me and grabbed my arm. I spun around and pushed his hand off.
“Don't touch me” I spat.
“I love you” He said.
“I trusted you Zack. You know what I'm going through right now, and you just decide that you want to make out with Brylee the person that bullies me every single day. H-how could you?” I whispered. He looked at the ground then looked up at me.
“I'm so sorry” He whispered, a few tears rolled down his cheek.
“You should've thought about that before you kissed her” I said and then stormed off home, crying all the way. I was temped to call Adam but I didn't want to ruin his weekend. So I got home, went upstairs, got $5 out of my money jar then ran to the shop and brought a pencil sharpener and a disposable razor. I hated myself for doing this, but its the only way I knew how to cope. I ran home, locked myself in the bathroom and got to work taking them apart.

When I was done wrestling with the razor and sharpener, I walked into my bedroom, closed the door, pulled my sleeve up and ran the blade across my wrist. It was the first time I'd done it in I don't know how long and it felt amazing. My adrenaline was pumping and watching the crimson red blood ooze out of my arm brought a smile to my face. I could tell that this was going to get me addicted again and I didn't care, all I cared about was forgetting what Zack did, even if it was only for one night, I didn't care. I just wanted to feel something other than sadness and heartbreak.

I woke up the next morning and dragged myself downstairs.
“Hey Emma, what're you up to today?” Dad asked as I walked into the kitchen.
“I'm just gonna sit in my room and cry” I mumbled.
“Why? What's happened?” He asked.
“I went out or a walk last night and I say him making out with Brylee Thompson in the park” I said and broke down in sobs. Dan rushed over and hugged me.
“Shh, its gonna be okay” He said. I just carried on crying. I can't believe Zack would even think about doing something like that to me, he said he loved me and that he wouldn't hurt me.
“Adam called last night and asked how you were, he really does worry about you. And he's probably going to murder Zack when he finds out” Dad said. I laughed a little bit.
“I'm glad Adam's my brother. He looks out for me all the time” I said.
“I couldn't ask for two better kids” Dad said.
“Thank you for being there for me Dad, it really means a lot” I smiled. Dad smiled back. Ding dong went the door bell. I walked out into the hall with Dad and opened the door and guess who it was?
“What are you doing here Zack?” I sighed.
“Emma, I love you. I made a terrible mistake” He said.
“Too late Zack. I saw you with her. You should've thought about this before you did it” I said.
“You're lucky Adam's not here because he would probably kill you” Dad said.
“Who am I killing?” Someone asked. Zack stepped to the side and Adam was stood there. I looked between Adam and Dad nervously.
“So is someone going to tell me what's going on here?” Adam asked.
“Zack cheated on Emma” Dad said.
“With Brylee Thompson” I added. Adam just glared at Zack.
“How could you? You know what she's going through at the moment and you think it's a good idea to cheat on her?! SHE LOVED YOU AND TRUSTED YOU FOR GOD SAKE, DO YOU EVEN REALISE HOW HARD THAT WAS FOR HER?!” Adam shouted.
“I know, I know and I feel horrible, I just want to talk to her” Zack said.
“Get out of here Zack. She doesn't want to see you right now” Adam said. Zack looked around at all of us then left. Adam walked in and shut the door then I burst into tears. Again. Adam pulled me into a hug.
“Shh, it's okay Emma, I'm here, Zack's an idiot, and you can get over him. We'll be there every step of the way” Adam said. I smiled a small smile because I knew how lucky I was to have a brother and a Dad who were willing to be there to help me through everything.

Notes

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