I rolled over not realizing the end of the bed was so close. I fell off. "Ow." I said pushing myself off the floor and propping myself up on my elbows. I looked over and Alex was at the end of the bed with his head hanging off. "You ok?" He asked, talking in a morning voice. It was cute. "Yeah. I'll be fine. You know what time it is?" I asked. He rolled over to the other side of the bed and [picked up his phone. "It is... 1 o'clock." "Shit!" I hopped off the floor.

I looked around the room for my clothes. "What's wrong?" Alex asked standing up. "Nothing. I just... George he's leaving today and I've already missed so much of him yesterday." I stood up running my hand through my hair. "Well let me get your clothes and you can get dressed and I'll drop you back off at your house, alright?" Alex said coming over pulling me into a hug. I didn't realize how cold I actually was until he wrapped my body with his. I guess it doesn't help I was naked. I nodded against his chest.

He pulled away picking his sweat pants off the floor pulling them on. He left the room. I walked back over to the bed and wrapped my body in the comforter. I picked up my phone and I had a few missed calls. 2 were from Ali, 1 from my Aunt and 1 from Jack. I was more prepared to handle the Jack call right now. I called him back.

Jack: Hello...
Me: Hey... You called?
Jack: Yeah yesterday, by accident I was trying to call my friend...Paula, but your name popped up instead.
Me: Oh... Alright then.

I hung up. I laid my head in a pillow letting tears fall from my face. I had let him in too far. I liked Jack but Alex likes to be seen with me. I heard Alex come back. I wiped my eyes and looked up at him. "Here's your clo- Are you ok? Why were you crying?" "No big deal it's fine." He sat on the bed next to me. He took his right hand and cupped the side of my face. "You know you can tell me right?" I nodded and bit my lip. He smiled but his eyes left mine and went down to my lips.

He leaned foreward and I met half way. Our lips met and these kisses I shared with Alex were sweet and sincere unlike the lust filled ones I get from Jack. I like both don't get me wrong but Alex gives both it's just one kind with Jack... Or at least it has since the first day I met him. Alex pulled away. "I better get you home before your...uh...George? Leaves." "He's my cousin's boyfriend but we're really close. We bond over Shark week." Alex laughed. I stood up pulling the clothes off his bed and pulling them on.

I finished and Alex pulled on some skinny jeans and a shirt. I slipped on my shoes once we got down stairs. Alex grabbed his keys and we left the house. I slid into his car and buckled up. He did the same turning on whatever CD was in the player. "We can live like Jack and Sally if we want." Alex sang. I just closed my eyes and laid my head against the window.

I felt the car stop and I wiped my face and looked at Alex. "Paige... I wanna see you again..." I turned my head to look at him fully. "I could handle that." He smiled. This smiled was perfect it was beautiful, full of emotion. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled his lips to mine. We both pulled away and I opened the door to the car. I leaned through the window and he leaned my way making our lips meet again. "Bye." i said and bit m lip. "Bye." He said.

I turned and started towards the door that's off my garage. I turned and waved as he drove off. I opened the door and stepped inside. I ran my hand through my hair and let my hand drop to my side. I walked up the stairs to the living room. "Paige?" My aunt yelled. "Yes..."I said. She ran out of her room and engulfed me in a hug. "Hi." I said and gave her a hug too. "You just worried me a little." "sorry." She pulled away.

Ali and George came out of Ali's room. Ali grabbed my hand and dragged me to my room. She shut the door. "Alright spill. First where were you last night?" She crossed her arms. "Alright... I was on a date..." "Oooohh. Go on!" Her facial expression changed to happy. "Was it Parker?" She nudged my arm. "No... His name is Alex." Then I looked around my room it was clean.

"What happened to my room?" "Right that's my second question." she smacked my arm. "Ow!" "At least tell me if your gonna do it in the house... I would at least make sure I clean your room by myself. George found a used condom and freaked out." My face went blush. "So third question. Alex or Parker?" She asked. I hid my face in my hands. "Neither..."

She gasped. "You little whore!" She said. I let a couple tears go down my cheeks. I looked up at her. "Oh...We don't have to talk about it." she said nervously. "Thanks." I smiled at her. "Who dropped you off?" I gave her a look. She threw up her hands. "Hey, just wondering. Your car was here so..." "Alex..." "Did you spend the night at his house?" "Yeah." She stood up. "that's all my questions, I expect more details though soon." I nodded and she left my room.

I laid across my bed. I let out a sigh. I stood up and took off my clothes and put on some new ones. I finished and grabbed a hat and left my room. "wanna go get something to eat with Ali and I?" George asked. "I would love to." I said and pulled George off the couch. Now everyone knew I had a cutting problem so no one was shocked about the bandage on my arm.

We walked out and got in the car. We drove to Donovan's. We all three got out and walked in. We sat down at a booth and ordered some drinks and food. "I'll be right back, alright?" I said and stood up and walked over to the bar. "Hey Gregory!" I yelled leaning over the bar. "Hey Paige!" He yelled back. Leaning to give me a hug.

We talked for a minute and I went to step away from the bar but bumped into someone and hit my cuts. "fuck!" I yelled threw clenched teeth. "Sorry, are you ok? Paige?" I looked up to see I ran into none other than Jack Barakat with lucky bimbo number I don't give a fuck. "Yep." Was all I got out. i was biting my lip and trying not to let the tears in my eyes roll. "who's this Jack?" The girl asked.

"A really good friend of mine, go to the table I'll be there in a sec." She grabbed his arm. "but Jack-" "No it's fine." I said trying to pass them. Jack grabbed my wrist which made me wince in pain. "Please give me a sec Rebecca." He said. she clicked her heel against the ground and walked off towards a table. A few tears escaped my eyes. "Paige, I'm so sorry-" "Save it Jack. You have obviously found someone else." I pointed over and pulled my wrist out of his grip.

the bandage started to get a little blood leak through. "And you didn't Paige?!" He said. I looked up at him. "You know what I did and guess what he likes to be seen with me in public, hold my hand in public, kiss me in public... He even helped me yesterday..." I said moving my wrist behind my back. "I would have done all that-" "Bull shit Jack." I said. He stiffened. I looked at where he was looking.

A small puddle of blood on the floor. I grabbed my wrist and weaved through people towards the bathroom. I walked in and took off the bandage and looked at the cut. red and puffy I dabbed at it with a paper towel. Suddenly the door swung open and in strolled Jack. "Please just leave." I asked tears streaming down my face. "Did I make you do that?" He asked ignoring my request.
He stepped closer pulling my wrist in his hands and taking the wadded up ball of tissue from my hand.

He dabbed at it. "Yes." I said looking at the ground. "Why?" He asked. "Well, I mean Chance...he used to cut me. It's just become an escape... It hurt what you said Jack and " I took my wrist from him and pulled out my phone. I backed up against a wall.

Ali: Paige?
Me: I'm gonna get a ride home...I don't feel good.
Ali: ok... see you later then.

I hung up and Jack was just staring at me. He took a step closer. "I have to g-" I was interrupted with Jack lips against mine. I pushed him away. "why?" He asked. "W-were still hiding...We'll always be hiding." I pushed past him and left the bathroom. i walked out of the place and down the street.

I passed a hardware store. I thought about it. I walked in going straight for the section I knew carried blades. I bought them and left. I walked to a park. I leaned against a tree. I sat there and sang to my self. "And if I only could, Make a deal with God, And get him to swap our places,Be running up that road, Be running up that hill, Be running up that building. If I only could, oh..." I was crying.

I ripped open the package. Then Alex popped into my head. "If I call him... I'll never get out." I assured myself. I looked at the blade and watched it glisten in the moon light. I pulled up the end of my shirt and ran it across my stomach. I did this a couple times, Then I moved back to my wrist, making the cut there deeper. I was gasping at the pain. i still hadn't had enough. I reached in my pocket and pulled out my prescription, They are for my depression but i never took them.

I opened the bottle and looked inside. Surely enough to kill me. I stuffed them all in my mouth trying my best to swallow them. I got them down and pulled my knees up to my chest. I pulled out my phone and dialed the only person I thought about at the moment. Alex.

Alex: Hello, Paige.
Me: *Sniffle* Alex...
Alex: Paige? what's wrong?!
Me: I uhh... I took something, I just wanted you to know-
Alex: Where are you!?!
Me: In the park... I think. I can't really see clearly...

I dropped the phone. I couldn't hold it anymore. I was so cold. I just tilted my head back looking at the moon above and all the stars. I just trying to count them. when I heard something in the distance. "Paige!" I tried to speak but couldn't. They got closer. "Paige!" He yelled again. That's when he saw me. He fell next to me. "What did you do?" I opened my mouth. "I did. " I said trying to get closer, I just ended up falling in his lap. "I did what everyone was thinking I should do." He had tears rolling down his face.

"I didn't think that." "Hey don't cry..." I slurred off it suddenly got a lot darker. "Paige stay with me. I already called an ambulance." I turned my head and kissed his arm wrapped around me. I closed my eyes and he shook me making my eyes open. "Stop that!" He yelled at me. I let them shut just as I was hearing the ambulance. I could still hear a little.

"What happened?" Some guy asked. "I don't know she called me... she took some-" that's when I blacked out completely...

Notes

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