Farm houses creep me out, they always have, but this one was different. It was so.. Lived in, loved. Clutching the case of Bud Light in my hands, I slowly began my journey towards the door, Alex's eyes on me the entire time. It was strange to be out with him again. We hadn't done anything like this since I was fourteen. Truthfully, it was almost like a breath of fresh air, but I was more afraid of him than the house. Alex was capable of many things: Breaking my heart being at the top of his list. Maybe that's why I was here, I craved it, needed him to ruin me, to make me forget the boy who left me stranded and alone.


"You know Jay, don't you?" Alex asked, trying to pry the case of beer from my hand. "He said you guys used to hang out."


"Yeah.. He killed my dog, wrecked my fourwheeler and sold my sister coke," I commented, yanking the box away from him. It was true, Jay had done all of these things, but I let it go. That was my only option tonight. "Doesn't matter. He has vodka, right?"


"And probably coke," Alex grabbed my hand before I could open the door, concern in his eyes. How does this boy know me so well, even after all this time apart? "Promise me you don't do anything stupid, Jessie?"


"Alex, I'm the smartest, most ignorant person you know. Back off."


"Fine, it's just.. You look thin and with coke floating around.."


"Did you ever see me touch coke when we were together?" I sat the case down on the porch and ripped the box until I had a drink in my hand, the bitter taste making me cringe. Alex drank Bud, the boy who had my heart drank Rock. I was torn. "I'm not on drugs, asshole."


"Then what's up?"


I could be honest with Alex. I could tell him that in the last seven months, my depression had caused me to lose ten pounds, and even though that doesn't seem like much, I was now an eighteen-year-old girl weighing in at 98 pounds. He didn't deserve to know that. He didn't deserve to know anything about me, honestly.


"I'm fine, Alex. Now are we getting drunk or what?"


Reluctantly, he sighed and opened the door, leading me into the farm house with ease. It was well kept, I suppose, as clean as it could get for a boy two years my age. Alex led me up the creaky stairs and into a dimly lit bedroom, where Jay was seated by his computer, picking a song to blare and two girls sat on his bed. Girls were never okay with me, typically, I hated them. Cringing at their sight, I finished my beer and tossed it in the trash can, gaining Jay's attention.


"Alex! Jessie!" He clicked a song, which was a bunch of words strewn together, and threw his arms around my neck. "What's up, sexy?"


"Please removed your hand from my boob before I have to beat you," I forced a grin, lifting his hand from my shoulder. "I'm okay. How are you, d-bag?"


"Still the same old Jess, I see," He playfully shoved me as my hand dug around the case for a fresh beer. "I'm good. What up, Lex?"


Rolling my eyes, I plopped down on the bed and stared down the two girls who were drinking mixed drinks. They stared right back at me. We were judging each other, that much was obvious.


"I'm Jessica," the blonde spoke, her eyes lingering on my body. "This is Gabby."


"You go by Jess?"


"Yeah," she smiled, taking a sip of her drink. "She goes by Gabs."


"Great," I grumbled. As if having a popular name wasn't bad enough, but I was staring at the image most people though of when they heard our name. Blonde skank. "I guess it's nice to meet you ladies."


They nodded their head and started conversing with each other, which was more than okay with me. The less awkward conversation I had to join in, the more beer I could chug. Making myself comfortable on the bed, I glanced around Jay's room, trying to take in everything I could. It was pretty decent, I guess. Smelled cologne and skanks with a bit of a mess in corner. Good enough to let loose in.


Finishing my beer, I tossed the empty can at Alex's chest and put on my best flirty smile with my arm extended, silently asking for another. He playfully rolled his eyes and placed my empty can in the trash before handing me a fresh, cold beer.


"It's good to see you guys are back together," Jay grinned, getting up from his seat to squish beside me on the bed. "You guys have always been like, fucking soul mates or some shit."


"Actually, we're not back together," I awkwardly smiled at Alex, playing with the tab of my beer. "This is the first time I've seen Alex in almost a year."


"Oh, well.. You know what, Alex? Let's go set up beer pong. Jess, there's vodka on the desk. Help yourself."


I nodded with my eyebrows raised as Alex quickly followed Jay out of the room. It wasn't the first time this has happened to us - Anytime, anyone, anywhere sees us together, they assume we're giving it another go. Kind of made me sad. Alex is always in and out of my life, but it was my fault for letting him do this to me. Fuck, he called me earlier tonight and didn't even offer an apology for disappearing again, yet here I sit.


"So you dated Alex?" Gabby questioned, sitting up on the bed like she was actually interested in what I had to say. "He's a great guy, isn't he?"


"Yeah, if you're not dating him, I guess. Alex and I have been off and on for like, four years."


"Four years?" Jessica questioned, mocking Gabby's actions. "How'd you meet him?"


"Through my best friend, Stephanie."


"No way, little Steph that lived up the road from him? I used to ride her bus," Jessica grinned, then her eyes grew wide. "You're Jess! You're the girl that was on the bus with her the last day of school!"


"No fucking way," I half-smiled, taking a drink of my beer. "You're one of the twins, aren't you?"


"That's me," she giggled, sitting her cup down on the nightstand to pull me into a freakishly large hug. We were never friends, were we? "How much have you had to drink, girl?"


"I'm not drunk. I just thought I'd never see you again! Where's Stephanie these days?"

"Uh, she's in West Virginia. I haven't actually seen her in two years."


"Oh. That stinks."


Okay, so maybe Jessica wasn't so bad, but Gabby kept giving me this shitty glances, like I'd instantly stolen Jess from her or something.. Or maybe, maybe it was Alex she had her eyes on. Raising an eyebrow at the idea, I was pulled from my thoughts by Alex poking his head in the door, a big smile on his lips.


"Beer pong is ready. Jessie, be on my team?"


"I call Jay!" Gabby grinned hopping off the bed to run over to Alex, where she wrapped her arm around his waist. "Jessica, you can be our celeb shot!"


My head shot back to stare at Jess, who simply nodded her head and grabbed her drink. Alex motioned for me to hurry before leaving the room with Gabs, leaving me alone with Jessica. She shot me a grin before she grabbed my hand to pull me from the bed.


"Don't worry, Gabby and Alex could never work. She's just a little possessive."


"Guess I have to take a bitch out in pong, huh?"


"I got your back, girl."


Jess and I shared a laugh as she showed me the way down the stairs and to the kitchen. Jay and Gabby seemed to be in conversation while Alex waited on me at his end of the table. I offered him a small smile as I took my place, taking the ball from his fingers, my breath hitching in my throat as he let his fingers run over mine.


"Everyone know the rules?" Jay asked, his arm around Gabby's shoulders.


"Yeah, let's do this thing."


And so the game began. Alex and I were beating Gabby and Jay by a landslide, but that didn't stop me from drinking the booze from our cups every single time we made a shot. Honestly, just looking at the table you'd think we were losing, but we weren't. Not to mention, I was actually starting to loosen up and talk to these people. It was nice. Turns out Gabs and I had a lot more in common than Alex and I thought I might be able to give her a chance. Meanwhile, Jess and I were clicking like we'd always been best friends or something. Even Alex and I became less awkward and began dancing together mid-game.


The game started to die down and we all piled into the living room, where I now discovered more people had come to hang out. Joints were being rolled and passed around, girls were trying to dance like strippers in the strobe light and I was now drinking vodka instead of beer, trying to relax into the scene. Eventually, I did. I danced with the girls, enjoying the grinding as many tops came off. I neglected the joints but still caught a contact buzz and lost myself in the night. For the first time in a long time, I felt free. So free to the point that I was in the middle of Gabby and Jess, my body swaying to the music and the rythem of the two girls. Alex and Jay were in front of us, watching, cheering us on. Had I not been drunk, I'd have been mad at Alex for viewing me as an object.


It was when Jay cut in to get in the middle of us that Alex grabbed my arm and dragged me through the house and up the stairs. Jay's room was empty as we sat down on the bed in a fit of giggles.


"I have a feeling drama is gonna start soon."


"Why is that?"


"Gabby has a pretty open crush on Jay," Alex started glancing at the door. "And Jess was getting a little too close to him when I pulled you away."


"I thought Gabby liked you?"


"But she can't have me, you see."


"These are exactly the kinds of people I try to avoid," I giggled. "But I like them."


Alex smiled, his eyes burning into my soul. My body started to tingle as he inched closer to me, but the memory of my past lover was still burned into my mind. To be honest, I was thankful when Jess and Jay stumbled through the door.


"Oh shit," Jessica breathed, her face turning red. "Sorry!"


"It's fine," Alex grabbed my hand, again, and began pulling me out of the room. "We'll leave you two alone."


The moment the door closed behind us, Alex pushed me up against the wall. My heart was trying to beat out of my chest. This wasn't okay, he shouldn't be touching me like this. We were only friends. Yet, when his lips brushed against mine, I thought my head would burst. Pulling away from him breathless, I shook my head, trying to hide my blush.


"Alex, I'm in love with someone else.."


"I don't care."

Notes

I'm having problems with posting my story. I apologize if something is wrong with this chapter.
This is just to get you in the swing of things. Love you guys!
Shout-Out Time!
I Got The Guts To Say Anything
AllTimeSloth
singmetosleep