Not Broken , Just Bent
I've Got A Dark Ally, And A Bad Idea
I pulled clothes out of my closet.
I've never been to a group hang out type thing, so I have no idea what goes down, or what to say, wear, think, do. I just don't know.
I'm just praying to a God I don't believe in that it's nothing like my sisters gatherings.
MY sister has been having things like this sense she was a mere 13. Sex, drugs, alcohol, loud music going on until dawn.
These nights were always particularly shitty for me.
One; Because my sister was Queen Shit in out old school, and hung out with my day to day bullies.
Two; I never slept at all, and I was left alone locked in the basement (or the attic in the old house) until the next day.
Three; Bonnie would make me clean up and everything always seemed to be a mess. Upstairs, downstairs, every bedroom, bathroom, front yard, back yard, everything! Everything was a mess!
Honestly I could go on forever about the cons of my sister. I'm sure the list is so long there isn't enough paper in the world to write it all down. But the pros, thats kinda what keeps me from killing her.
She's pretty, which means she gets looked at in public instead of me.
She's funny, which means she talks in public and I don't.
She really nice when she's hungover, which makes it easy for me to get advice and such from her.
Sure her pros have sick twists on them, but they work.
I shuffle around my closet a little more before running up the stairs, Bonnie is hungover, maybe she can help me.
When I get up the stairs I see her lying on the couch, watching some model show.
"Bonnie?" I say quietly because I'm not sure if the hangover has wore off or not yet.
"Alex?" She says in the same, sweet tone I used.
I smiled down at her, which made her cock an eyebrow up smiling back.
"I'm going to hang out with people after school today, and i was wondering if you could maybe help me pick something nice out." Bonnie's smile widens, and she jumps up off the couch.
I internally cringe at what she's wearing to school today.
she has pre-curled her long blonde hair like yesterday, but today he has it pulled back in a pony tail. A tight pink sleeveless shirt, that just goes past her belly button than stops. And blue shorts, with a flower pattern on them. They're so tight on her they squeeze her leg and make it look ten times more fat than it is.
But I really shouldn't be judging her for fat, I mean, I'm huge.
We walk down to the basement and she immediately starts going threw my clothes, throwing some things behind her and throwing what I'm guessing my outfit will be on the bed beside me.
When she's done she turns around with a smile, clapping her hands together. She motions for me to stand and I do.
She directs me the the bathroom, wear she straightens my fringe better than I usually do. Every individual layer popping out more. I liked it a lot better than how I do it.
She put a beanie on my head in a special way, holding it down with more of her bobby pins.
"So? Are you trying to impress a girl at this party or something?" She asked putting in the last bobby pin, smiling at me.
I wish she smiled her genuine smile more. It's so pretty. It lights up all her features, and she was such wonderful dimples. Uggh, I'd kill for even half of her looks.
"Something like that." I replied walking out of the bathroom behind her.
She walked upstairs, yelling about how she was leaving in 5 minutes, and that if I wanted a ride to be ready by than. She was really being nice today. To bad it's only temporary.
I looked at the outfit she had lying on the bed. It's ten times better than anything I would have thought of wearing. She laid out a grey long sleeve sweater and the leather jacket I wore yesterday. I put them on, and pulled the sleeve of the sweater out from under the jacket just a little. To go over that a white and black checkered scarf, what the fuck? I'm not even sure when I got this. Whatever. Then simply black skinny jeans and black toms. I grabbed my school bag and ran up the stairs, coming face to face with my sister.
"Oh, can you do anything right?" She laughed at me, it was a joking sense, I'm guessing, because she smiled at me and fixed my scarf. "There, ready to go?"
I nodded at her, this attitude isn't going to last much longer. It will be gone the second we reach the school.
I was wrong. Way wrong.
When we got to the school her group of friends were circling her parking spot. Bonnie threw her pony tail over her shoulder and smiled, getting out of the car.
I got out to, and all her friends starred at me. Great! The girl started twirling there hair in there fingers with sly smirks on there face, I wonder what they're thinking. 'OH my god! He looks so fat!' ' Eww, how the hell can one person be so gross?'The guys on the other hand, were looking me up and down, with there arms crossed across their chests. I'm to scared to wonder aout what they're thinking.
"Who's that Bonie?" One of the guys finally asked. "Is he your boyfriend?" The guy lokked from me to my sister.
"Oh no, Matt!" My sister said in a voice higher than normal, linking onto his arm. "Thast my brother Alex." She smiled at me.
This attitude of hers is lasting to long. Then I see Jack, waving me over, I smile and start walking to them.
"Hey! Where ya going?! Aren't you gonna hang out with your friends Alex?!" The 'Matt' guy asked me.
I was frozen I didn't know what to do. I can see this going one of two ways.
One; I hand out with Bonnie's friends and loose all my real ones
Two; Go hang out with my real friends and have Bonnie mad at me
I pointed towards Erin, Jack, Zack, and Rian with my mouth open to say something, but Jack is already beside me, I guess seeing my struggle.
"He was on his way there." Jack smiled down at me and i smiled back, I can't not smile when Jack does.
I look at Bonnie, she looks deep in thought, but she also looks like she's been slapped in the face. I saw a smile twitching on her mouth, but when I stopped smiling, it stopped. what was that about?
I never realized I was walking until I tripped over the curb, resulting with Erin catching me. I never took my eyes off my sister though, and she never took hers off me.Has she noticed I was depressed? Was she shocked I smiled? I haven't smiled for 3 years around my sister. Minus this morning. But she looked shocked than too.
"Whoa Alex man. You're so light." Erin Said loud, causing everyone else to look at me.
I started panicking, no one here can know about my eating disorder, I'll get picked on. And I'm no way at all light. I'm 104 pounds! She must lift weights or something if she thinks thats light. The school bell signaling that theres only 5 minutes to get to your first class went off, startling me. I squeezed my eyes shut, whipping my sweaty palms on my jeans silently saying 'Thank You' to whoever rings the bell, in my head.
Classes are boring. And luckily Jack doesn't bring up the whole situation earlier. But he did tell me I looked hot.
"Hey Alex?" Jack smirked at me in science.
Butterflies irrupted in my stomach, a light blush playing on my cheeks. I took down at my book 'Hmm-ing' for him to continue.
"You look reeeeeally hot today." Jack said, I looked at him and her was still smirking.
A whole new batch of butterflies irrupted in my stomach.
I've never been to a group hang out type thing, so I have no idea what goes down, or what to say, wear, think, do. I just don't know.
I'm just praying to a God I don't believe in that it's nothing like my sisters gatherings.
MY sister has been having things like this sense she was a mere 13. Sex, drugs, alcohol, loud music going on until dawn.
These nights were always particularly shitty for me.
One; Because my sister was Queen Shit in out old school, and hung out with my day to day bullies.
Two; I never slept at all, and I was left alone locked in the basement (or the attic in the old house) until the next day.
Three; Bonnie would make me clean up and everything always seemed to be a mess. Upstairs, downstairs, every bedroom, bathroom, front yard, back yard, everything! Everything was a mess!
Honestly I could go on forever about the cons of my sister. I'm sure the list is so long there isn't enough paper in the world to write it all down. But the pros, thats kinda what keeps me from killing her.
She's pretty, which means she gets looked at in public instead of me.
She's funny, which means she talks in public and I don't.
She really nice when she's hungover, which makes it easy for me to get advice and such from her.
Sure her pros have sick twists on them, but they work.
I shuffle around my closet a little more before running up the stairs, Bonnie is hungover, maybe she can help me.
When I get up the stairs I see her lying on the couch, watching some model show.
"Bonnie?" I say quietly because I'm not sure if the hangover has wore off or not yet.
"Alex?" She says in the same, sweet tone I used.
I smiled down at her, which made her cock an eyebrow up smiling back.
"I'm going to hang out with people after school today, and i was wondering if you could maybe help me pick something nice out." Bonnie's smile widens, and she jumps up off the couch.
I internally cringe at what she's wearing to school today.
she has pre-curled her long blonde hair like yesterday, but today he has it pulled back in a pony tail. A tight pink sleeveless shirt, that just goes past her belly button than stops. And blue shorts, with a flower pattern on them. They're so tight on her they squeeze her leg and make it look ten times more fat than it is.
But I really shouldn't be judging her for fat, I mean, I'm huge.
We walk down to the basement and she immediately starts going threw my clothes, throwing some things behind her and throwing what I'm guessing my outfit will be on the bed beside me.
When she's done she turns around with a smile, clapping her hands together. She motions for me to stand and I do.
She directs me the the bathroom, wear she straightens my fringe better than I usually do. Every individual layer popping out more. I liked it a lot better than how I do it.
She put a beanie on my head in a special way, holding it down with more of her bobby pins.
"So? Are you trying to impress a girl at this party or something?" She asked putting in the last bobby pin, smiling at me.
I wish she smiled her genuine smile more. It's so pretty. It lights up all her features, and she was such wonderful dimples. Uggh, I'd kill for even half of her looks.
"Something like that." I replied walking out of the bathroom behind her.
She walked upstairs, yelling about how she was leaving in 5 minutes, and that if I wanted a ride to be ready by than. She was really being nice today. To bad it's only temporary.
I looked at the outfit she had lying on the bed. It's ten times better than anything I would have thought of wearing. She laid out a grey long sleeve sweater and the leather jacket I wore yesterday. I put them on, and pulled the sleeve of the sweater out from under the jacket just a little. To go over that a white and black checkered scarf, what the fuck? I'm not even sure when I got this. Whatever. Then simply black skinny jeans and black toms. I grabbed my school bag and ran up the stairs, coming face to face with my sister.
"Oh, can you do anything right?" She laughed at me, it was a joking sense, I'm guessing, because she smiled at me and fixed my scarf. "There, ready to go?"
I nodded at her, this attitude isn't going to last much longer. It will be gone the second we reach the school.
I was wrong. Way wrong.
When we got to the school her group of friends were circling her parking spot. Bonnie threw her pony tail over her shoulder and smiled, getting out of the car.
I got out to, and all her friends starred at me. Great! The girl started twirling there hair in there fingers with sly smirks on there face, I wonder what they're thinking. 'OH my god! He looks so fat!' ' Eww, how the hell can one person be so gross?'The guys on the other hand, were looking me up and down, with there arms crossed across their chests. I'm to scared to wonder aout what they're thinking.
"Who's that Bonie?" One of the guys finally asked. "Is he your boyfriend?" The guy lokked from me to my sister.
"Oh no, Matt!" My sister said in a voice higher than normal, linking onto his arm. "Thast my brother Alex." She smiled at me.
This attitude of hers is lasting to long. Then I see Jack, waving me over, I smile and start walking to them.
"Hey! Where ya going?! Aren't you gonna hang out with your friends Alex?!" The 'Matt' guy asked me.
I was frozen I didn't know what to do. I can see this going one of two ways.
One; I hand out with Bonnie's friends and loose all my real ones
Two; Go hang out with my real friends and have Bonnie mad at me
I pointed towards Erin, Jack, Zack, and Rian with my mouth open to say something, but Jack is already beside me, I guess seeing my struggle.
"He was on his way there." Jack smiled down at me and i smiled back, I can't not smile when Jack does.
I look at Bonnie, she looks deep in thought, but she also looks like she's been slapped in the face. I saw a smile twitching on her mouth, but when I stopped smiling, it stopped. what was that about?
I never realized I was walking until I tripped over the curb, resulting with Erin catching me. I never took my eyes off my sister though, and she never took hers off me.Has she noticed I was depressed? Was she shocked I smiled? I haven't smiled for 3 years around my sister. Minus this morning. But she looked shocked than too.
"Whoa Alex man. You're so light." Erin Said loud, causing everyone else to look at me.
I started panicking, no one here can know about my eating disorder, I'll get picked on. And I'm no way at all light. I'm 104 pounds! She must lift weights or something if she thinks thats light. The school bell signaling that theres only 5 minutes to get to your first class went off, startling me. I squeezed my eyes shut, whipping my sweaty palms on my jeans silently saying 'Thank You' to whoever rings the bell, in my head.
Classes are boring. And luckily Jack doesn't bring up the whole situation earlier. But he did tell me I looked hot.
"Hey Alex?" Jack smirked at me in science.
Butterflies irrupted in my stomach, a light blush playing on my cheeks. I took down at my book 'Hmm-ing' for him to continue.
"You look reeeeeally hot today." Jack said, I looked at him and her was still smirking.
A whole new batch of butterflies irrupted in my stomach.
Notes
@SaraBethGaskarth
@BatmanForever
@Herewegojalex
@LizzieKrisitc
@HarleighBarakitty
@love me always
@Cloud Storm
@Alltimekenz
10/6/13