The Flavor Of Your Lips Is Enough To Keep You Here
I have to make sure Tom is okay
Alex POV
I was at Jacks house. Jack had called Rian and Zack over. “I’m sorry to disturb you all but I can’t stay in my house tonight well not after what Tom did “
“What did Tom do? Zack asked
“He destroyed my room and most of my cloths as well”
“Oh no Alex just tell us if you need anything just let us know” Rian said
“Not to rush off but me and Rian have to go” Zack told us
“Okay that’s fine” Zack and Rian left.
“Alex I am so sorry”
“It’s okay I guess you can’t choose your family “
That’s when I heard my phone ringing I saw the caller ID and noticed that it was my mum so I answered it. “Hi mum what’s up?” I asked
“Tom has locked himself in the bathroom. He has been in there for an hour now. I am scared what if he does something stupid.”
“Like what mum”
“Alex what if he starts going downhill again”
“Fine I will come home and talk to him” I ended the call as much as I hated Tom right now I didn’t want him slipping back into his downward spiral . He might actually kill himself he has attempted to do it before. I hurried home. I ran in the door and up the stairs to the bathroom. I knocked on the door. “Tom. Tom it’s me. It’s Alex. Please don’t do anything stupid. If you come out here we can talk. You haven’t lost me and I don’t want to lose my big brother. You mean everything to me. It’s me. It’s Alex. Please don’t do anything stupid. If you come out here we can talk. You haven’t lost me and I don’t want to lose my big brother. You mean everything to me. You have always been there and taught me new skills. Please come out “with that I heard the bathroom lock click.
“You can come in but I am not coming out”
“Okay fine” with that I entered the bathroom. I shut the door and locked it again.
“Tom let me look at your arms “He showed me his arms. I got the toilet paper and pressed it to his wounds.
“I am so sorry Alex” he told me and started breaking down in front of me “I know you’re not gay. I wouldn’t care if you were. I would love you the same. You are my little brother”
“Then why did you destroy my room, call me name and let your friends ruin my life.”
“Because I was scared of losing my mates “
“Tom why didn’t you just talk to me. You know I am always here to talk; I would hate to lose my older brother just because he couldn’t talk to me. And Thomas Gaskarth. I do not want you slipping into that downward spiral again. You frightened me. Please do not do anything like that again just talk to me”
“I was scared you would hate me after what I had done. I didn’t want to live if the only person that didn’t judge me. The only person I trusted hated me. Alex you make me human again. I don’t feel human without you please come back.”
“Okay but you have to tell your mates to lay off me Rian Zack and Jack. I don’t want you going through this alone”
“Okay whatever you want. I just want you back”
“Okay fine but you have to accept Jack as my friend as well. He is my best friend” I gave him a hug and we unlocked the bathroom door. We then went and sat in Tom’s bedroom. I rang Jack.
“Hey Jack can you come over. Toms got something to say to you. I promise it’s not abusive “
“Okay I will be over in 10 minutes”
“Tom I have got something to admit to you after you destroyed my room. I started cutting again.” With that I showed him my arms. I heard a knock at the door and ran downstairs to answer it “Hey Jack come upstairs”. This was the first time me and Tom had told anyone but each other about our self-harming.
“I am sorry Jack I don’t expect you to forgive me as easily as Alex did. But I was wrong to try and push you out of Alex’s life. By doing that I only succeed in pushing Alex out of my life. I didn’t want that. Alex is the only one I can talk to, He is the only one that knows what I am going through. Everyone at school thinks I am happy. When I reality I’m not. “With that Tom pulled up his sleeves to reveal the old scars and the new cuts “Alex was the only reason I stopped”
“It is pretty much the same story for me. We helped each other through. I mean Tom has already almost died once. I wouldn’t want this to happen again.” I told Jack rivalling the scars on my wrists. “I also have scars on my hips and thighs”
“Well you are not much different from me apart from I didn’t have an older brother to talk to. To help me through.” Jack told us revealing his scars “Like you Alex I also have scars on my hips and thighs”
“Well let’s make a deal” I said “Why don’t we all agree to help each other. Make sure we have someone to talk to”
“Alex sometimes you come up with some really great ideas. I like the sound of that” Tom stated
“So we are all agreed?” I asked
“Yes” Came both Jack and Toms reply. Now I know we would all be safe. We at least we would all have someone to talk to if we ever needed it.
I was at Jacks house. Jack had called Rian and Zack over. “I’m sorry to disturb you all but I can’t stay in my house tonight well not after what Tom did “
“What did Tom do? Zack asked
“He destroyed my room and most of my cloths as well”
“Oh no Alex just tell us if you need anything just let us know” Rian said
“Not to rush off but me and Rian have to go” Zack told us
“Okay that’s fine” Zack and Rian left.
“Alex I am so sorry”
“It’s okay I guess you can’t choose your family “
That’s when I heard my phone ringing I saw the caller ID and noticed that it was my mum so I answered it. “Hi mum what’s up?” I asked
“Tom has locked himself in the bathroom. He has been in there for an hour now. I am scared what if he does something stupid.”
“Like what mum”
“Alex what if he starts going downhill again”
“Fine I will come home and talk to him” I ended the call as much as I hated Tom right now I didn’t want him slipping back into his downward spiral . He might actually kill himself he has attempted to do it before. I hurried home. I ran in the door and up the stairs to the bathroom. I knocked on the door. “Tom. Tom it’s me. It’s Alex. Please don’t do anything stupid. If you come out here we can talk. You haven’t lost me and I don’t want to lose my big brother. You mean everything to me. It’s me. It’s Alex. Please don’t do anything stupid. If you come out here we can talk. You haven’t lost me and I don’t want to lose my big brother. You mean everything to me. You have always been there and taught me new skills. Please come out “with that I heard the bathroom lock click.
“You can come in but I am not coming out”
“Okay fine” with that I entered the bathroom. I shut the door and locked it again.
“Tom let me look at your arms “He showed me his arms. I got the toilet paper and pressed it to his wounds.
“I am so sorry Alex” he told me and started breaking down in front of me “I know you’re not gay. I wouldn’t care if you were. I would love you the same. You are my little brother”
“Then why did you destroy my room, call me name and let your friends ruin my life.”
“Because I was scared of losing my mates “
“Tom why didn’t you just talk to me. You know I am always here to talk; I would hate to lose my older brother just because he couldn’t talk to me. And Thomas Gaskarth. I do not want you slipping into that downward spiral again. You frightened me. Please do not do anything like that again just talk to me”
“I was scared you would hate me after what I had done. I didn’t want to live if the only person that didn’t judge me. The only person I trusted hated me. Alex you make me human again. I don’t feel human without you please come back.”
“Okay but you have to tell your mates to lay off me Rian Zack and Jack. I don’t want you going through this alone”
“Okay whatever you want. I just want you back”
“Okay fine but you have to accept Jack as my friend as well. He is my best friend” I gave him a hug and we unlocked the bathroom door. We then went and sat in Tom’s bedroom. I rang Jack.
“Hey Jack can you come over. Toms got something to say to you. I promise it’s not abusive “
“Okay I will be over in 10 minutes”
“Tom I have got something to admit to you after you destroyed my room. I started cutting again.” With that I showed him my arms. I heard a knock at the door and ran downstairs to answer it “Hey Jack come upstairs”. This was the first time me and Tom had told anyone but each other about our self-harming.
“I am sorry Jack I don’t expect you to forgive me as easily as Alex did. But I was wrong to try and push you out of Alex’s life. By doing that I only succeed in pushing Alex out of my life. I didn’t want that. Alex is the only one I can talk to, He is the only one that knows what I am going through. Everyone at school thinks I am happy. When I reality I’m not. “With that Tom pulled up his sleeves to reveal the old scars and the new cuts “Alex was the only reason I stopped”
“It is pretty much the same story for me. We helped each other through. I mean Tom has already almost died once. I wouldn’t want this to happen again.” I told Jack rivalling the scars on my wrists. “I also have scars on my hips and thighs”
“Well you are not much different from me apart from I didn’t have an older brother to talk to. To help me through.” Jack told us revealing his scars “Like you Alex I also have scars on my hips and thighs”
“Well let’s make a deal” I said “Why don’t we all agree to help each other. Make sure we have someone to talk to”
“Alex sometimes you come up with some really great ideas. I like the sound of that” Tom stated
“So we are all agreed?” I asked
“Yes” Came both Jack and Toms reply. Now I know we would all be safe. We at least we would all have someone to talk to if we ever needed it.
5/31/13