READ THIS STORY!!!!

go to this link and read this please!!! LINK

@Rawr Bitch
I read it. It was meh. The author needs to slow down and spend more time giving details and background information. Plus a little more plot and a little less time reciting song lyrics would help.

im actually the author

@Rawr Bitch
I stand by what I said then. Slowing down and adding detail could make it go a lot further

@Rawr Bitch

Just started reading the first chapter, and frankly I'm not really drawn into your story. I think what could really captivate your readers is a more descriptive summary. Just saying "This person was put up for adoption and then got taken in by her favourite band at 17" is lacking in detail, and it doesn't tell me anything particularly unique about your story. There are a LOT of fanfictions out there with very similar story lines. And that doesn't mean you can't/shouldn't write one of your own, but you need to add your own twist to it. Really, that's the secret to writing a unique and original story. Also, watch out for spelling and grammar errors! That is very important!

Other than that, I really like how boldly you describe your protagonist's emotions. Using strong words like "hate" or "bitch" to describe your character's enemy, really does give an intense message to your readers about the character's distaste for the individual. Of course, there is always opportunity to extend your vocabulary! So if ever you feel like you're repeating the same word too much, look for synonyms on either google, a thesaurus or in a dictionary.

Happy writing! :)