Walls

Months passed and Alex and I grew stronger, Anette became the cutest chubby little thing I had ever seen; she was so fucking chubby. Today Alex is flying out to Baltimore to go to see his mom, I’m staying back to be with Mackenzie and Anette. As I helped Alex pack for his week with his mom we were silent.
“I still wish you would come with me.” He said
“Lex.” I said
We’d be arguing over me going with him since this trip was first planned.
“Ry.” He said
“Lex.” I huffed
“My mom misses you.” He said
“I miss her too but I want to stay here with Mackenzie.” I said
He nodded
“And I’m going to work with my dad.” I said
“He’s got a show?” He asked
“He’s filling in for Matt and Jason Berry.” I said
“Avenged?” He asked
I nodded and he smiled at me
“I love you.” He said
“I love you too Lex.” I smiled
We finished packing up his bag and went into the living room where Jack, Jack, and Mackenzie were waiting on us.
“Let’s goooooo. Movie time!” Mackenzie shouted from Jack’s lap
Her mom had Anette for the night
“What movie?” I asked
“HOME ALONE!” Jack screamed
“No Barakat.” The other three of us said in Unison
“Jack Ass two is on Netflix.” Mackenzie said
“I can do that.” Jack said
We all agreed and I signed into my Netflix account, we pulled it up and started playing it.
“These guys are idiots.” I said as Alex and I got comfortable on the loveseat
Mackenzie chuckled as she cuddled in on Jack’s lap in the oversized chair. Jack was laying on the floor with Baltimore.
Alex was sitting up and I was using his lap as a pillow, as we watched he ran his fingers through my hair. My hand was behind his back resting on the top of his belt, I rubbed his lower back with my thumb. It was to the part where Steve-O gets the leach put on his eye; it’s pretty much the only part that I can’t watch. I turned my face towards Alex’s stomach, he quietly chuckled at me. When the movie ended everyone went home and Alex and I moved into the bedroom.
“Can I check your arms?” He asked
Ever since I had come home I continued to cut, but it was becoming distant past again. I nodded at him and pushed my arms in his direction. He ran his fingers over the healing cuts.
“Almost gone.” He smiled
I smiled at him and he leaned over me and gently kissed my nose.
“Do you want me to wake you up in the morning?” He asked
I nodded and he kissed me on the lips and laid down next to me. I turned out the light on the nightstand and snuggled up against his chest.
“Goodnight Ry.” He said
“Goodnight love.” I said kissing the center of his chest through his shirt.
The next morning I woke up to the smell of bacon radiating through the apartment, I threw the comforter off of me and dragged my feet into the kitchen. Alex was standing over the stove top in nothing but his boxers.
“Come here my little zombie.” He said
I smiled and walked over to him, he took me into his arms and kissed my forehead.
“You look exhausted.” He said
I groaned at him and he chuckled and handed me a cup of coffee. I took the first sip and smiled, it tasted wonderful.
“When do you leave?” I asked
“Few hours.” He said
I nodded and he handed me a plate with a waffle, some eggs, a few pieces of bacon and a piece of toast.
“Special occasion?” I asked
“Just that I won’t be able to make you breakfast for a week.” He smiled
I smiled at him and we sat down at the bar and ate our breakfast together; I loved being able to sit down with him and not talk but know exactly what he’s thinking.
“So what are you going to do today?” He asked
“Well I’m going to get my movie case and go over to Mackenzie’s; Jack has to work all day so we’re going to watch movies and watch the baby.” I said
“I’m sorry I’m missing that.” He said sarcastically
“You know you love that little girl.” I said
“I do, she’s so cute.” He said
Alex really likes kids, it’s actually really attractive. I looked over at him and he was smiling at me
“What?” I asked
“You.” He said
“What did I do?” I asked
“Nothing.” He said
I smiled and pulled my bottom lip into my teeth.
“No, don’t bite your lip at me. You know what it does to me.” He groaned
I winked at him and leaned over to him and kissed him, he kissed back. I pulled away biting his lower lips.
“Baby.” He groaned
I smiled and he pushed his chair away from the counter and lifted me out of mine
“Baby!” I squealed
“You brought this upon yourself.” He laughed
He carried me into the bedroom shooing Baltimore out, he closed the door and dropped me on the bed. He hovered over me attaching our lips hastily as if he was going to be late.
“Hey you’re not going to be late.” I giggled
He laughed and removed my shirt.
When we finished I was really fucking sweaty.
“I’m going to go take a shower.” I said
Alex nodded, I rolled out of bed and walked into the bathroom, when I was done with my shower Alex got in. I walked into the bedroom and pulled some underwear on, Alex came out of the bathroom fully dresses as I was pulling on a pair of jeans. As I was about to pull a bra out of the dresser the door opened.
“Alex?” Jack asked walking in
“Jack!” I squealed
He froze staring at me, he turned on his heel and ran out of the room. Alex started chuckling as he walked out after his best friend, I got dressed pulling on a bra and t-shirt. I walked out into the living room and Jack gave me an awkward smile.
“Jack it was an honest accident, it’s alright.” I said
He nodded and I smiled; we sat around talking.
“Hey Jack.” I said
He looked over at me and straight to my chest
“Her eyes are a little higher than that Jack.” Alex said
“Fuck, I’m sorry.” He said looking up at my eyes
I laughed and walked away.
“Dude the fuck?” Alex said
“I’m sorry Alex. She has a nice chest.” Jack
I silently laughed
“I know she does dude, it’s mine.” Alex laughed
“Actually baby its mine.” I said looking over at the boys
“It’s more mine than his.” He said
“True but it’s my chest. Now both of you go to Baltimore.” I said
“It is about time to go.” Jack said
I smiled and Alex, he walked over and kissed me softly on the forehead.
“Well get out of your hair.” He said
“Tell your mom I miss her. You too.” I said to both of the boys
They both nodded and Alex went into the bedroom to grab his bag.
“Ryan I’m so sorry.” Jack wined
“It’s fine.” I laughed
Alex came out and set his bags next to jack
“Carry these.” He said
“Yes sir.” Jack said picking them up and walking out of the apartment,
“I love you.” I said
“I love you too.” Alex said pecking my lips.
He walked out and I grabbed my shit and headed to Mackenzie’s.
The day at Mackenzie’s flew by, we watched movies, talked about everything, and played with Anette. I even went out and got a tattoo, it was a surprise for Alex, and it was the All Time Low skull and crossbones on my hip. Alex will be home in three days and I miss him so much but I have to be focused today; very focused. I go to help my dad in a little bit with Avenged Sevenfold’s set, I’m really excited to be helping I haven’t done this kind of thing in a while.
“Ryan you’re here!” My dad yelled as I walked onto the property of the venue
“Wouldn’t miss this for the world.” I smiled walking into his open arms
“How is Mackenzie?” He asked as we were walking
“On her way.” I said
“What about Anette?” He asked
“Jack is going to watch her for a little bit. Mackenzie misses getting paid.” I smiled
He laughed and led me back to where Avenged Sevenfold was, I hadn’t seen them since I came home months ago. I smiled as I heard Brian and Johnny bantering.
“Do they know I’m coming?” I asked
My dad shook his head and we continued to walk.
“Short shit, I didn’t think I’d ever miss the sound of your voice.” I said as I walked into the group
They all smiled and came over to hug me but Jimmy, I looked at him concerned.
“Hey brian don’t squeeze.” I said
“Why?” He asked
“Precious cargo.” I smiled
“Are you pregnant?” He asked
“Pshh no.” I laughed
I pulled out a bag of gummy worms from my pocket and smiled
“You little weirdo.” Johnny said
I smiled and gave Brian a questioning look about Jimmy
“He’s been like this for a couple days.” He said
“Have you talked to him?” I asked
“Yeah, he always just walks away. I’ve talked to his Mel too and she has no idea.” He said
“I’ll see if I can get something out of him tonight at dads. You guys are still coming to the party right?” I asked
“Fuck yeah, we wouldn’t miss partying with Korn and them.” He said
“How Alice?” I asked
“She’s prefect.” He said
“Being a good dad to the other kids?” I asked
“Yes mom.” He said rolling his eyes.
I smiled at him and kissed his cheek.
“Muffin?” I heard Mackenzie ask from behind me
“What kind?” I asked
“Banana.” She said
“I’m in.” I smiled turning around to hug my best friend
She looked over at the boys and pointed at Jimmy
“I’m going to talk to him later, I think he’s strung out again.” I said
She nodded and we walked away to eat our muffins in peace, I watched the boys when Jimmy got up and walked away somewhere I knew.
“So how long is Jack taking care of Anette?” I asked
“Until tonight, his sister wants her for a night so he’ll be at your dads with me.” She said
“Oh goodie.” I smiled
“Your dad has awesome get together.” She smiled
“Yes, yes he does. I mean its been pretty boring around the apartment without Lex there so it’ll be nice.” I smiled
“You miss him a lot?” She asked
“So much.” I said
She smiled and I laughed. I looked back over at the boys and Jimmy was back.
“Okay girls, set time.” My dad said from the stage,
We walked over and Mackenzie helped him with the guitars and I walked over to help get jimmy set up behind the drums
“What’s your issue?” He asked
“What do you mean?” I asked
“You’ve had your eye on me since you got here.” He said
“I have my reasons.” I said
“And those are?” He asked
“We’ll talk about this later.” I said sternly
“Whatever.” He said
“They don’t deserve this.” I said walking away
“Excuse me?!” He yelled
“You heard me James.” I said
I didn’t even bother to look back at him, I knew he was mad at me and I also knew that he knew what I was talking about. He knows I’m not stupid.
“What was that about?” Brian asked stopping me
“I’m pretty sure he’s doing coke again.” I said
“Seriously?” Brian asked
“Don’t say anything, I’m not completely positive.” I said
He nodded
“Good luck guys!” I shouted
I got a thank you from everyone but Jimmy.
When the show was over we all packed up the equipment and headed to my dads house to meet up with the other bands. When I pulled into the driveway Corey was standing on the porch, I parked my car and ran up to him. He caught me and spun me around.
“How have you been pretty girl?” He asked
“Wonderful.” I smiled
“How’s that spoiled pup?” He asked
“Spoiled rotten by his mama.” I laughed
He smiled and we all piled into my dads house, it was so clean unlike when I lived there. An hour into the food eating and the drinking I pulled Jimmy aside and into my old bedroom.
“Whats going on with you?” I asked
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said
I slammed my hand down on the bedframe
“You know damn well that I’m talking about James.” I said
“I’m stressed okay.” He said
“When you’re stressed talk to someone or smoke a cigarette or something. Don’t do cocaine.” I said
“I know, but I can’t help it now.” He said
“How long have you been doing this?” I asked
“Since a month after Mackenzie had her baby.” He said
“What the fuck is stressing you?” I asked
“Everything Ryan! Everything is fucking stressing me out and I don’t know why.” He said
I ran my fingers through my hair.
“Get a hold of yourself Jimmy, I know it’s hard and that you’ve struggled with this before but last time you almost died. You have kids now and a wife who would be crushed if you died of a drug overdose instead of old age or your heart condition.” I said
He nodded along with what I was saying in looked down at me.
“I’ll try.” He said
“I’m telling Brain and he will help you.” I said
He nodded and pulled me into a hug
“I love you Ryan.” He said
“I love you to Jimmy.” I said
We walked out of my room and went back to the party; Brian pulled me back into the room.
“So?” He asked
“He’s doing coke again because for some reason he’s really fucking stressed out. I told him I was going to tell you and that you were going to help him break the addiction again.” I said
“Of course I’m going to help him, he’s my best fucking friend.” He said
“I know Bri.” I said
We walked back to the party and I found Mackenzie, she was drinking a beer.
“Hey there pretty lady. What to dance?” I asked
“Why yes I’d be honored.” She said
She hooked her arm in mine and we walked out to the living room which was the designated dance floor for the night. We danced our tails off until we were both really fucking tired.
“Want to sleep?” I asked
She nodded and we went to find my dad
“We’re going to go to sleep.” I said
"Alright, we’re about to wrap up and head to bed as well.” He said
We nodded and walked to my bedroom and we crashed on the bed.
I woke up in the morning and the smell of food rushed into my nose, I looked at Mackenzie and pushed her until she woke up. We walked down to the kitchen together but she went into the bathroom as I continued to follow my nose. When I stepped into the kitchen a familiar man that I had come to love was making breakfast.
“Lex?” I asked
He looked back at me and smiled
“You're home early.” I smiled
“Mom sent me home.” He said
I walked around the island and planted a kiss on his lips.
“I missed you.” He said
“I missed you too.” I yawned
He grabbed a cup from his bag and poured coffee into, he made it how I like it and handed it to me. I took the cup and read the side of it ‘I envy the cup of coffee that gets to kiss your sleepy lips away every morning.’
“Lexx.” I whined
He smiled down at me and went back to cooking breakfast for everyone. Eventually we were all away and eating the delicious food that my wonderful boyfriend made us.
“So Alex how was Baltimore?” Mackenzie asked
“Good, I saw some really old friends and hung out with my mom a lot.” He said
I stood up and kissed his cheek
“Refill.” I said holding my coffee mug.
I walked into the kitchen with my dirty plate and drank the rest of my coffee, as I was setting the cup down I realized that there was writing in the bottom. I turned it so I could read it and the plate slipped from my hand and shattered on the floor.
“Lex!” I yelled
I heard his chair scoot out and he walked in, along with everyone else.
“What is this?” I asked staring intently into the cup
“It’s a question.” He said
“Oh my fucking god.” I said tears now streaming down my face
“Ry?” He asked
“Yes.” I said
He looked at me
“Yes I’ll marry you Alexander.” I said crying harder
I kept looking at the two little words ‘Marry me?’ inscribed into the bottom of my coffee cup.
He slipped the beautiful engagement ring onto my finger and kissed me, I looked down at my outfit and I was glad he knew me so well.

Notes