1. I woke up in the morning with my alarm clock blaring again, not even bothering to check the time anymore. I figured out my answer to what seemed like the biggest question in my life. I don't know. I am honestly not sure if I like Alex. It would make sense if I did. It would make sense if I didn't. I'm not gay though. I know I'm not. I may not have many friends, or people who care, but I have had girlfriends, and it's not like I'm exactly a virgin. I ran downstairs, hoping my mom wouldn't stop me this time and I could just go. But no, my mom forced me over to her, and asked why I had a confused look on my face. Oh god, was it that noticeable? I said it was nothing and saw it was 7:20 and told her I was late and had to go. I jogged to school, just so I would make it on time. I barely looked up I was so worried, but I stopped dead in my tracks when I hit someone, not even looking up to see who, I just frantically apologized. The voice decided to step in, "You idiot! God damn, you're father was right, you truly are a fuck up. I wish he was back, he kept your shit life in line." My eyes started to water, and Alex noticed. It was him I ran into. He said softly "Hey, I was trying to find you. I didn't get a chance to talk to you lately. You alright man?" I tried to respond with my crackly voice "Yeah, I just need to talk to you in private afterschool, ok? Wanna meet me at the coffee shop?" "Yeah man, I'll be there. Just hang in there." With that we parted ways as I walked into Geology. Mr. Bourelain collected everyones' homework, which I didn't have because I was too busy thinking. I'm too forgetful, maybe my dad was right, maybe I am a fuck up. No, I can't ever say that again. Nothing about that piece of a shit of a man is right. He is a horrible fucking person, and I will never agree with him. My thoughts made a few tears start to slip out in class. Mr. Bourelain questioned me concerningly, "Are you alright Jack? Do you need to go to the bathroom for a minute?" Ethen saw that, and laughed out loud, and made a joke to the whole class, mocking me. "Is sissy boy going to cwy? Dawh cwy for me sissy boy!" That's when Mr. Bourelain ordered him to sit down. The rest of the day in school I just fought my tears and thoughts off. I heard the final bell, and with relief I raced out the double doors to my car and drove to the coffee shop. I waited there for about ten minutes until Alex showed up. He sat down across from me, and asked "What's on your mind? I was hesistent to speak, but I forced out, " I can't take it anymore. My thoughts, my dad, my life, fuck, everything. I don't want to fucking live anymore!" I started crying, no balling my eyes out. Alex shushed me, and got me up and brought me to his car, trying to cheer me up. He'd coo that everything was ok, and that he'd take care of it. I cried all the way home, and he layed me on my bed. My mom wasn't home, so he went to go grab me water. I cried, my face buried in the pillow. Alex came up and I felt his warm hand stroke my head and back , telling me it was ok. He did that for a few minutes, hearing his sweet and sexy voice calm me. Wait, did I just think that his voice was sexy? Oh god, no, this is going to end bad. He whispered in my ear, sending goosebumps throughout my body, "Jack, can I tell you something? I think that..." he started to choke on his words "I have a secret. I think that I might. L-l-love you..." I stopped crying for a minute. Everything stopped. My heart was just done, I had butterflies in my stomach and my mind stopped thinking. I was running of of pure instinct, and I harshly whispered "I love you too.." then the thoughts started again, my mind raced, everyhting telling me I fucked up. Then he went in, got really close, we weren't even an inch apart, both of our eyes started to close, our heads pressing together, our noses slightly touching. We were going to kiss. I can't believe this! This is going to be so nice I can't wait fo- Alex cut my thoughts of by backing away, ashamed, and he quickly killed my insides with "I'm so sorry, I got to go. Feel better Jack.." Then he ran out the door. I did something horrible.

Notes

Sorry for the what feels like short chapter. I just felt like short and hurried was the best way to make this chapter work out. Title also credited to Bring Me The Horizon