They Were A Dangerous Pair

Chapter 3
May 21st. The day Tom died. When we were fourteen our parents decided to tell us the truth about how tom had died. He killed himself. Cut his wrists and took a bottle of pills. Alex completely broke down. The day that we were told how he died was also the first time that I’d ever seen Alex have a panic attack. I didn’t know how to help him with them so I sat beside him and let him cry on my shoulder.
Alex then sat on my lap and wrapped his arms around me and cuddled up to me. I put my arms around him and sooner than I expect his breathing went back to normal and he stopped crying. Alex took another week off school but I went to school. I had no idea what he was doing while I was at school and I was honestly scared that he was going to hurt himself.
He never did. Instead he wrote a song. He called it Lullabies because when Alex was about three Tom used to go into his room before he went to sleep and sung Good Riddance by Green Day every night for two years until he fell asleep. Alex sung Lullabies to me and my heart almost melted. His voice was perfect and the lyrics in the song meant so much to him.
Every year on May 21st Jack, Alex and I would go down to Tom’s grave. Jack took his acoustic guitar and Alex took his lyric book. He would sing whatever songs he had written at the time and he always sung Good Riddance by Green Day and Adam’s Song by Blink 182. It brought tears to my eyes whenever I saw or heard Alex sing those songs because you could hear the pain in his voice. You could hear how much Tom meant to him and you could hear how much he wanted him back.
Once it hit 5pm we walked to the park and sat in the dark whilst sharing stories about the time that we’d spent with Tom. Jack hadn’t been around Tom as much as Alex or I had been but he did have a few stories that did make Alex feel better. One in particular that always brought a smile to Alex’s face.
“We were all at this park. You, me, Imogen, Rian, Zack and Tom. You and Tom went off to get ice cream for all of us so the rest of us stayed at the park and waited for the two of you to get back. I was clumsy, and I still am, and I decided to go on the monkey bars for the first time. I went too fast and fell off. I started crying and Zack, Rian and Imogen ran over to me to see what was wrong. When Alex and Tom got back with the ice cream Tom picked me up and put me on one of the park benches. I’d only grazed my knee but Tom treated it like I’d broken my arm. He was a freaking amazing person Alex. You were so lucky to have him as your brother.” Jack said, every year, at the park. It made Alex smile and forget everything for a little while.
After it hit about 7pm we knew that our parents would start to get worried about where we were so we went back to Alex’s house and listened to Enema Of State whilst watching Tom’s favourite movies. Every year, on May 21st without failure.

Notes

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