Flashes of Our Endless Summer Love
Chapter 11: Lonely City
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IH8ncXAx-to
You’re talking to the same blonde from before, Alex. Only, this time you’re leaving class. We all are. The school day has ended. Everybody is glad to go home. Except for me. I live across from you. I watch as you go to your car, the car with the backseat where I found myself many times over the summer. The blonde is still with you. You kiss her goodbye. My heart breaks all over again. I hate you, Alex. You never cared about me.
I hadn’t heard from you for a while, Alex. You hadn’t randomly come over unannounced, you hadn’t run outside to meet me as I left the house, you hadn’t called, you hadn’t texted. It was strange. Worrying. I figured you were busy getting ready for school to start again. You needed to graduate. You wanted to play in your band.
I stared out through my window late that night. I was thinking, wondering. There was not a cloud in the sky. Usually we’d get up on the roof or look through my telescope. But you weren’t home. Your room was completely dark.
I saw your car park in your driveway and I got excited. Just like you always did, I was going to run out and greet you. But then I noticed something. Something was off. You got out of the driver’s side, and a blonde girl appeared from the passenger’s side. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but I saw it all.
Talking, laughing, dancing, kissing.
She didn’t leave until 4am. I didn’t want to watch, but you left me no choice. You kept those curtains open. Did you do it on purpose? I sat on my roof, trying not to pay mind to it. You left your house after her and said goodbye when somebody came to pick her up.
“Mia, what are you doing up there?” You asked when you noticed me sitting there.
I laid down, no word escaping my lips.
“You know she’s just a friend, right?” You try to tell me.
“Your window.”
“What?”
“Your window!” I screamed and sat up fast enough to make me dizzy.
“Oh…” You looked back and saw how you hadn’t hidden anything. “Mia…”
“Liar.”
“Mia, no. She doesn’t mean anything.”
“She doesn’t mean anything?”
“No, she doesn’t. I love you.”
“She means a lot,” I seethed.
You shook your head rapidly. “No, she doesn’t. I promise I’ll end things with her.”
“She means a lot to me!” My voice echoed off the houses, leaving my throat in pain.
“Mia–”
“You never cared about me.”
“That’s not true–”
“You lied to me. You played me!”
“Mia, please.” You ran up, across the street. “Will you let me up there? Can we talk this through?”
“No.”
“No?”
“No.” I crawled over to my open window. “It’s over.”
I slammed my window shut behind me, making the glass rattle. The curtains were shut right after and then I turned off the light. But I couldn’t just let go that easily. I sneaked back to the window and moved the curtain to the side to watch you one last time. You were standing there, staring up at my window. It was like we were making eye contact, but I knew you couldn’t see me. You turned around and went back into your house.
Your parents must be disappointed that you never broke up with your blonde before me. You had us all fooled, Alex. The summer was endless. You tricked me all those weeks. You pretended and lied. And I fell for it. I fell for all of it. What would you have done if you hadn’t forgotten about your window? Continue to play your games? You never did care, Alex, except for yourself. I will never forgive you for that. Fuck you, Alex Gaskarth.
You’re talking to the same blonde from before, Alex. Only, this time you’re leaving class. We all are. The school day has ended. Everybody is glad to go home. Except for me. I live across from you. I watch as you go to your car, the car with the backseat where I found myself many times over the summer. The blonde is still with you. You kiss her goodbye. My heart breaks all over again. I hate you, Alex. You never cared about me.
I hadn’t heard from you for a while, Alex. You hadn’t randomly come over unannounced, you hadn’t run outside to meet me as I left the house, you hadn’t called, you hadn’t texted. It was strange. Worrying. I figured you were busy getting ready for school to start again. You needed to graduate. You wanted to play in your band.
I stared out through my window late that night. I was thinking, wondering. There was not a cloud in the sky. Usually we’d get up on the roof or look through my telescope. But you weren’t home. Your room was completely dark.
I saw your car park in your driveway and I got excited. Just like you always did, I was going to run out and greet you. But then I noticed something. Something was off. You got out of the driver’s side, and a blonde girl appeared from the passenger’s side. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but I saw it all.
Talking, laughing, dancing, kissing.
She didn’t leave until 4am. I didn’t want to watch, but you left me no choice. You kept those curtains open. Did you do it on purpose? I sat on my roof, trying not to pay mind to it. You left your house after her and said goodbye when somebody came to pick her up.
“Mia, what are you doing up there?” You asked when you noticed me sitting there.
I laid down, no word escaping my lips.
“You know she’s just a friend, right?” You try to tell me.
“Your window.”
“What?”
“Your window!” I screamed and sat up fast enough to make me dizzy.
“Oh…” You looked back and saw how you hadn’t hidden anything. “Mia…”
“Liar.”
“Mia, no. She doesn’t mean anything.”
“She doesn’t mean anything?”
“No, she doesn’t. I love you.”
“She means a lot,” I seethed.
You shook your head rapidly. “No, she doesn’t. I promise I’ll end things with her.”
“She means a lot to me!” My voice echoed off the houses, leaving my throat in pain.
“Mia–”
“You never cared about me.”
“That’s not true–”
“You lied to me. You played me!”
“Mia, please.” You ran up, across the street. “Will you let me up there? Can we talk this through?”
“No.”
“No?”
“No.” I crawled over to my open window. “It’s over.”
I slammed my window shut behind me, making the glass rattle. The curtains were shut right after and then I turned off the light. But I couldn’t just let go that easily. I sneaked back to the window and moved the curtain to the side to watch you one last time. You were standing there, staring up at my window. It was like we were making eye contact, but I knew you couldn’t see me. You turned around and went back into your house.
Your parents must be disappointed that you never broke up with your blonde before me. You had us all fooled, Alex. The summer was endless. You tricked me all those weeks. You pretended and lied. And I fell for it. I fell for all of it. What would you have done if you hadn’t forgotten about your window? Continue to play your games? You never did care, Alex, except for yourself. I will never forgive you for that. Fuck you, Alex Gaskarth.
