Living Life to the Fullest

For the rest of the weekend, I wondered what I was going to text Zack, but I knew when I was going to do it on Monday. When that day finally came, my heart was beating a million miles a minute.

Hey. This is Zoey. The woman that you met at a greenhouse on Saturday.

I texted him while I was waiting for my lunch at a food cart. Five minutes later, my phone vibrated and I was too eager to see if it was him who responded.

Hey. Pretty name for a pretty girl. I was hoping you'd like to go out on a date with me sometime.

I blushed; I felt like a giddy schoolgirl.

I'd love to. Just text me where and what time. I will definitely be there.

He texted back and we set a date for tomorrow.

Great. What the fuck am I gonna wear?

I hadn’t been on a first date in years, so I was a bit overwhelmed at the prospect of figuring out what I was going to wear. Luckily, I had my best friend to help me out.

“What do you think of this?” I asked, pulling out a light blue dress.

It was flowy and had just the right amount of cleavage and also the third outfit I picked out of my closet.

“I love that. I think it looks perfect.”

I twirled around once I tried it on.

“You look amazing.” she said, hugging me.

“Thank you. What do you think, Everly?”

She smiled and clapped her hands.

“Alright. This is the one.”

Vera stayed over with Evie while I went to meet Zack for our date. I spoke to the hostess and told her I was waiting for somebody; he wasn’t here yet. I surely hope I’m not going to be stood up. I didn’t wait all that long when I saw him being directed to the table I was at.

“Hi, Zoey.” he greeted as I stood up.

“Hi, Zack.” I said with a smile.

We quickly hugged then sat down.

"I gotta say I'm surprised me slipping you my number actually worked. That's the first time I tried that. I'm always upfront about it."

"Well, it definitely worked. You caught my eye the second you entered my greenhouse."

"Your greenhouse? Pretty impressive."

"Thanks. Yeah. I bought that piece of land only three years ago with a little help, of course, and turned it into a beautiful greenhouse."

"I certainly love it. It's amazing."

This guy is too sweet.

“Hey, I noticed a certain a little girl last week.”

“She’s my daughter. Everly. She’s fourteen months old.”

“I hope you don’t mind me asking about the situation.”

“I don’t feel comfortable right now. It’s pretty heavy.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’d be curious, too. Anyway, how about you? What do you do for a living?”

He had a slight look of surprise on his face for some unknown reason.

“I’m actually in a band. I play bass and do backup vocals.”

Musicians. I love musicians.

“Have I heard of you guys?”

“Maybe. We’re called All Time Low.”

I shook my head.

“Sorry. I don’t know.” I said embarrassingly.

I could feel that my cheeks were flushed. He did something uncharacteristic and touched my hand.

“That’s fine.”

“Really?”

“It’s kinda nice having somebody not knowing in such a popular... well, at least semi-popular band. I can truly get to know without them knowing that fact about me.”

He was making my heart melt... like a certain person I still love and miss terribly.

“That’s such a relief.” I said, sighing.

He laughed for a second.

“Anyway, mind me asking more about your band?”

“No. Not at all.”

“Ok. Where you guys based out of?”

“Baltimore. Also, where I was born. We’ve been together since we were teenagers.”

“That is so cool.”

That evening couldn’t have gone better as he was a complete gentleman and wasn’t overly talkative.

“Let me pay.” I asked as the bill arrived.

“No. I’ll get it.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Thank you.”

Despite the immense loss of Ricky, there have been several instances that I’ve been happy, obviously, mainly because of Everly and the greenhouse. However, the type of happiness I’m experiencing is different because I’m at the end of a great date with a man I actually am interested in and he is incredibly sweet and humorous.

“I had a great time tonight.” I said, smiling.

“Me too. Maybe we can do this again, sometime.”

“Maybe.”

We had a long hug this time and I smiled. I drove home five minutes later and arrived in ten. Vera was sitting on the couch watching a movie when I walked in.

“So, how’d it go?” she asked as I plopped my ass down.

“Really good. I uh... found out he was in a band.”

“Do we know this band?”

“No, but they’re called All Time Low.”

This prompted her to grab her laptop and look them up.

“Let’s see what this guy looks like.”

Once she found a photo with every member, she nudged.

“I’m assuming this is the guy.”

She pointed to the guy who was on the far right.

“He’s the one.”

“Fuck. He’s hot.”

“You can say that again.”

“You going on a second date with this guy?”

“I certainly want to and it seems like he feels the same way.”

“Can I tell you something else?”

“Of course.”

“It’s about time for you to get laid.”

“Vera!”

“Do I need to tell you how long it’s been?”

She didn’t have to; I was all too aware that it has been two years since I’ve had sex. I have enough on my plate with work, providing for my daughter and taking care of her; she’s my favorite person and I love her more than anything in the world. What time do I even have for sex? Obviously, I want to, but I can’t bring myself to even have a one night stand; I can’t afford to.

“No, but this’ll be date number two if it happens, and hell, we haven’t even kissed.”

“Zoey.” she said, giving me a knowing look.

“I get ya. I can’t say that man doesn’t turn me on.”

She smiled.

“Knew it.”

“Well, I’ll think about it. So, how was Evie?”

“Good. She’s an angel.”

“That’s wonderful. He brought her up during our date.”

“What do you mean ‘brought her up’?”

“He noticed her in her playpen when he paid for his items.”

“What’d you tell him?”

“That she was my daughter and her name was Everly. He tried to pry more, but that’s heavy territory and I wasn’t ready for it.”

“He understood that?”

“Yeah and he apologized.”

“I like him.”

"I like him a lot."

I went to bed that night happy, but I once again felt that feeling of sadness as I touched his side of the bed.

"I fucking miss you." I said with tears in my eyes.

I sniffled and wiped my tears. The fact that Zack could possibly meet my daughter is frightening yet exciting because he would get to know her, but Ricky never would; her father never would.

"I love you and I always will."

This is my usual routine before closing my eyes and going to sleep; I can't help but do it even two years later after his death. I then wondered how it would feel if things get serious between Zack and me.

Okay, Zoey. Time for some sleep.

"Goodnight, Ricky."

Notes