Dreaming of You
The Truth
After Serenity left my dream I just kind of lounged around the old house for a while before being shoved loudly and hearing someone yelling.
"ALEX" I heard.
"huh?" I said, sitting up quickly to see Flyzik crouching over me.
"What are you doing bro?" He asked sympathetically. The room was still dark, and I could barely make out anything.
"I just needed some space" I said, not wanting to talk about it.
"Alex, did she call?" He asked, I could not really make out all of his features, but I could tell he had a look of concern. I did not want his mind to worry about me much.
"Yeah man she did but I told her that this whole showing up and leaving shit had to stop and she understood. I just kind of laid here after the call because It took some guts to stand up for myself" I said, fake smiling, hoping he would believe it.
"Good job man" He said, hugging me quickly. I shook him off and stood up, he stood too.
"Thanks" I said, walking towards the tiny bathroom we had attached to our tour bus.
"Proud of you man, get some sleep when you’re finished in there. sorry I woke ya' I was just worried" He said, walking out the door and closing it behind him. I went to the bathroom, flipped on the light and stared at my own reflection.
My brown hair was everywhere, my eyes were bright red from crying, my shirt was wrinkled and had tiny tear stains around the collar. I looked like shit. I cleaned up a little bit, left the bathroom and went straight to the bed, I laid down and tried desperately to sleep to see Serenity. Even if she wasn't real, I needed her. I was almost in my sleepy dream when I heard the door quietly open and quietly close. Someone was lying next to me in the bed and put there skinny, hairy arm around my waste.
"Tell the truth Alex, you lied to Flyzik but don't lie to me" Jack said. Pulling me close to him.
"Dude, no cuddling please" I said, removing his arm and scooting away from him.
"Fine I won’t cuddle you, I just know it’s hard for you right now" Jack said, I could feel his eyes on me. I did not turn around to see him.
"Jack I'm fine, I told the truth and I want to sleep now" I said, snuggling into my pillow more. Jack gripped my shoulder hard and whipped me around so he could look at me in the face. Even if he couldn’t see it in the dark.
"Don't lie to me Alex, you told Sara exactly where we are and now you want to sleep so you can see that stupid little dream girl of yours. You want to tell her every detail about how she left you! While you’re at you should mention how you did not tell me for weeks after you two split. How about you tell her how you slept with Sara and how did not tell me at all till I told you I slept with someone! Or even tell her about how Sara knows where we and if she is even real she will ALWAYS play second to Sara. Which FUCKING sucks for me because now I get to play third fiddle to two women. One a REAL bitch and one an IMAGINARY one. but go ahead and continue to lie to me. That’s real fair" Jack said angrily, I locked my jaw and glared at him, even though he could not see it.
"Sara doesn’t know where we are from me, she could easily find out from google man" I said threw clenched teeth. Jack scoffed.
"Stop lying to me! how come you can easily tell some fake dream girl your own mind created everything but you can’t tell me anything! You do realize she already knows these things! She’s in YOUR head. Alex, this girl already knows everything because she is a figment of your own damn imagination! I'm your best friend and you can’t tell me SHIT! Why not tell me? why not tell me what’s going on?" Jack yelled, I could hear the hurt in his voice. I don't like telling Jack about my issues. it’s just not his burden. I softened my voice.
"Serenity is real" I said sternly. I just knew it, she had to be.
"Alex, I told you everything about me from the start. I told you about my dad and his drinking problem, I told you about my mom when she had cancer, I told you about being bullied in high school when it happened, I called you the second after my first kiss happened. You did not even mention what happened to your brother to me till I awkwardly-in front of your family-asked where he was during dinner. You hid the FUCKING funeral Alex! and now what? you believe that some imaginary girl can come fix it for you? that’s great! That’s really fucking great! " Jack screeched. I felt like total shit, even more so now. I laid there in silence for a moment as Jack breathed heavily.
"What happened to my brother was nothing I wanted to talk about with anyone, He lost his life after what? a fight with me! That’s totally something I was willing to talk about! now I have someone in my dreams who can't fix it but can make me feel like a better person. A person who won't come yelling at me, someone who can be my ride home at 1am if I drank too much, someone who could cook for me if I’m sick, someone who possibly could make me forget Sara’s name in time! why can't I have that!" I screamed. Jack stood up and went to the door, he flipped on the light porously, so I could see the hurt on his face.
"SHES NOT REAL ALEX! IM SUPPOST TO DO THOSE THINGS AND I WOULD IF YOU GAVE ME THE CHANCE! I WOULD MAKE YOU SOUP IF YOU WERE SICK IF I KNEW YOU WOULD NOT JUST REFUSE IT. I WOULD GO PICK YOU UP IF YOU CALLED. I COULD HELP YOU WITH SARA IF YOU WOULD LET ME!! YOUR FUCKING IMAGINARY GIRL WON'T DO SHIT BECAUSE SHE DOES NOT, I REPEAT, DOES NOT EXIST. YOUR BEST FRIEND STANDING HERE DOES!! SHES NOT REAL AND EVEN IF SHE WAS SHE IS JUST LIKE SARA!! SHE WANTS YOUR DICK AND YOUR MONEY AND THE SOONER YOU REALIZE THE TRUTH ABOUT SARA AND THE TRUTH ABOUT SERENITY THE SOONER YOU CAN BE BETTER! YOU STUPID FUCKER!!" he screamed, his voice was angry, and tears streamed down his face as he opened the door, flipped off the light, and slammed it behind him.
He was right I guess. Serenity was not real, she could not be. I could not have a fan who was that innocent and that sweet. I guess he was right about Sara too, money was all she wanted. my penis was just a bonus. Tears fell down my face as I slowly fell asleep. I heard Jack crying as I drifted into the unconscious. I heard Rian was trying to comfort him. I have never felt so alone.
