You're the Cherry I'm a Cigarette

Jack

I really hated cheating on Alex, but I couldn’t help myself. It seemed like a decent idea to keep having sex with Kellin. I got what I needed without out having to pressure Alex into anything. It was just the lying and sneaking around that made me feel like shit. Also, the idea of Alex finding out. It would devastate him to know about any of this. I’m his first real boyfriend and that should motivate me to want to be perfect for him, but every time I tell myself I’m done cheating on Alex here comes Kellin seducing me. And I’m so weak and too stupid to stop it from happening. Instead of spending as much time as I could with Alex a few nights ago, while his grandparents were out of town, I met up with Kellin to have sex first. Then I had to run home to shower, so Alex wouldn’t smell the shame on my body. I thought he was suspicious that something happened, but the next day at school he apologized for acting weird. I guess if he didn’t know then there wasn’t really a need to feel so bad about it. It’s not like I’m planning on doing this with Kellin the whole time I’m in a relationship with Alex. It was kind of messed up for Kellin to do this behind Alex’s back too, but apparently, he was too jealous to care.

I sighed to myself and rolled over in my bed as my phone began to ring. I expected it to be Alex, but instead “Aunt Carol” flashed on my screen. I signed again and answered it.

“Hello.” I answered.

“Hey, my parents are going to be out for a few hours so get over here and get inside of me.” Kellin sensually demanded.

“Is that anyway to ask for a favor?” I chuckled.

“This is more beneficial for you than me.” He taunted, and I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah yeah whatever.”

“I’ve been fingering myself for you all day, so I’ll be ready for your thick cock when you get here.” He whispered, and my dick twitched. He knew what to say to make me need him.

“I’ll be over in a few.” I breathed.

“Well hurry before I explode.” He said dramatically before hanging up.

I got out of my bed and went to shower. I didn’t have plans for this weekend yet. No one important was having a party and the Rian and Zack were busy. This would be the perfect weekend for Alex and me to hang out, but it might be hard with his grandparents trying to keep us apart. I had planned on calling him once I got out of the shower, but he beat me to it while I was dying off.

“Hey babe.” I answered, and he chuckled.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“Just getting out of the shower. I have a few errands to run.”

“Oh, do you think you’ll be busy all day? I was thinking we could hang out. I told my grandparents that Cass and I were going to go see a movie today and they bought it.” He told me.

“Yeah of course we can. How about I go do..these errands really quick and then I’ll let you know when I’m back home so you can come over?” I suggested.

“Okay sounds good! How long do you think you’ll be out?”

“No more than an hour.” I promised.

“Cool, I’ll be ready by then.”

“Make sure you wear something sexy for me.” I said, and he laughed.

“I’ll wear my tightest jeans.” He joked.

“Perfect, I’ll see you in a few.”

“Okay, Bye!” He said, and we hung up. I slipped my shoes on and grabbed my keys. I was going to have to make this quick with Kellin.

Joe was in the living room watching TV on the couch when I walked in. He stopped me before I could walk out. “Where’re you going?” He asked, I could tell he was high.

“To a friend’s house.” I answered shortly.

“Oh, bring back food.” He mumbled, and I rolled my eyes and left out the door.

I drove over to Kellin’s house and pulled into the driveway. I pulled two condoms out of my glove box and went to ring the doorbell. It didn’t take long for him to come open the door for me.

“Took you long enough.” He jokingly scolded me.

“Shut the hell up.” I said and picked him up. He wrapped his legs around my waist and we locked lips. I closed and locked the door behind us with one hand and began carrying him upstairs to his room. Once we reached his room, I threw Kellin down on his bed and pulled my shirt off as he watched.

“I’ve been craving you all day.” He purred.

“That’s because you’re a slut.” I teased, and he smiled.

“Yeah, but I’m your slut. Now hurry up.” He rushed me out of my clothes.

I chuckled as I pulled the rest of my clothes off and he did the same. I tried my best not to think of Alex while I was here. That was the only way I could let myself go through with this. I pulled the condom on and grabbed the bottle of lube Kellin had on his nightstand. I rubbed it on my dick and got into Kellin’s bed between his legs. He watched as I stroked myself a few times before lining up with his hole.

“Fuck.” He hissed as I slowly pushed in to him. He was still tight despite all the stretching he did. As soon as he showed signs of being comfortable with me being inside of him, I began to pick up my speed. I pulled out and quickly thrusted back into him. Kellin’s nails slid down my back scratching my skin and I hissed pushed into him deeper. I put one hand on his hip to hold him in place in the other on the bed to give me the strength to push back into him. There was no passion, this was purely just sex.

“You’re gonna make me cum, baby.” I told him, and he gasped as I switched angles.

“Unh, fuck yeah Daddy.” He moaned. He stroked himself until he was coming all over his stomach. The sight of it almost pushed me over the edge.

I placed both hands on the bed as I felt myself get closer. I began pushing in him faster and my sporadically. I knew I was on the verge of coming.

“Wait wait.” Kellin put his hands on my stomach to push me out of him.

“What?” I asked, slightly frustrated.

“I want to taste you.” He sat up and got out of his bed and on his knees. I smiled at him as he pulled the condom off and began to take me into his mouth. The euphoric feeling washed over me so quickly and I sat down on his bed while he finished me off. I shook as I came in his mouth for a few seconds. It didn’t seem like it could get much better until I saw him hum while he opened his mouth to show me my cum on his tongue. He quickly swallowed it down and licked up the parts that slid down my dick. I laid back in his bed, letting him have his way with me until I could make a coherent thought again.

“Fuck you’re going to be the death of me.” I groaned as I sat up again and he chuckled.

“Death by sex doesn’t sound too bad.”

“That’s actually the way I want to go out.” I joked. “But I should get going. I told Alex I’d only be gone an hour.” I yawned.

“Well it’s only been like twenty minutes. You still have time to rest before round two.” He suggested as he rubbed my thigh.

“I don’t know if I can survive a round two.”

“Well at least lay down with me for a few minutes.” He rolled his eyes.

“Why?” I asked, suspiciously.

“Because you look exhausted and I don’t want to send you to your boyfriend like this.” He chuckled, and I sighed.

I laid back in his bed and he laid down right next to me with his head pressed into my chest. Cuddling with a Kellin felt more like cheating than sex with him did. At least the sex didn’t have any signs of feelings involved.

“Just relax.” Kellin said as he played with my hair. I yawned again and accidentally let my eyes slip close.

****

Alex

I waited patiently for Jack to let me know when to come over. One hour turned into two and two turned into three. I was worriedly because he said it would only take him an hour to run errands. I know there’s a chance it could have taken him longer, but he’s a drug dealer and the only thing running through my head is he must have run into trouble. I tried calling twice but then I became afraid that he was trying to hide and my calling was giving him away. I sent one message asking him to please call me the second he was able to. Having a drug dealer boyfriend was stressful. I paced my room back and forth thinking of what I could do to ease my nerves. The only solution was knowing if Jack was okay. There was a knock on my bedroom door that woke me from my thoughts. The door opened revealing my grandma, who was just checking on me.

“Alex, Sweetie, I thought you were going to the movies with your friend?” She asked.

“Yeah-yes I am, she just got tied up in homework, so we decided to see a later showing. But I’m about to leave now so we can find great seats.” I lied.

“Oh okay. Well I’m going to go get started on dinner. I’ll save your food in the microwave, and you can eat when you get back.”

“Thanks Nana.” I walked over and kissed her on the cheek.

I followed her downstairs to the kitchen where I grabbed my car keys. I just needed to make sure Jack was okay. I didn’t care why he wasn’t answering my calls or text at the moment.

“Are you leaving?” My Grandpa asked when he heard my keys.

“Yeah, our movie starts soon.” I told him.

“And who are you going with again?” He asked, and I suppressed my urge to roll my eyes. I was in a rush and he thought this was a good time to interrogate me.

“My friend Cassadee from school. We’re going to see the predator movie.”

“Just you two, huh?”

“Yep.” I quickly answered.

“Well just remember I have eyes and ears all over this town, so I’ll know if you decide to bring an extra guest.” He said, referring to Jack. I knew he was exaggerating but I just went along with it.

“You have nothing to worry about, grandpa.” I said and he nodded.

They finally let me go and I sped walk out of the house and to my car. I headed in the direction of Jack’s house. I knew I would look like an over-caring boyfriend by showing up unannounced to check up on him, but I didn’t care right now.

When I got to Jack’s house I didn’t see his car in the driveway. That didn’t stop me from walking up to the door and ringing the doorbell. I quickly remembered that if Jack wasn’t home, Joe would come to the door and I would have to talk to him alone. I jumped as I heard a few locks being unlocked.

“Um hi.” I said as I was met with Joe’s emotionless face.

“Hey, you’re uh Jack’s friend right?” He asked and I nodded without correcting him by saying I was his ‘boyfriend’.

“Yes, I’m Alex.” I reminded him, and he nodded. He stepped aside to let me in and I hesitated before taking the first step in. There didn’t seem to be anyone else her but just him and I.

“So what brings you over?” He asked as he sat down and gestured for me to do the same on the couch to the right of him.

“Oh I just um wanted to come check on Jack. He hasn’t been returning my callings...or text.” I said slowly, starting to realize how desperate I must have sounded.

“Damn is the sex that good for you to be stocking him?” He asked, and I began stammering.

“Oh no-no I-I didn’t come over to h-have sex-“

“-Chill kid, I was joking. Jack’s just out with a friend. I’m sure he’ll be back soon.” He shrugged.

“A friend?” I asked, and he nodded. “He told me he had errands to run.” I said, sounding confused.

“Oh. Well he’s probably doing both which is what is taking him so long.” He shrugged.

“And maybe his phone died?” I asked.

“I doubt it. He carry’s his charger everywhere.” He said and I dropped my head.

“Yeah he’s probably just too busy to talk to me right now.” I said and Joe looked over at me.

“Are you guys more than fuck buddies?” He asked and I looked up and nodded at him.

“Yeah kinda.” I said, being modest.

“How come I just started seeing you around here? How long have you two known each other?” He asked.

“About a month. I just moved here from Maine and Jack was one of the few first people I met here.” I chuckled to myself.

“When you saved him from being busted by the school cop right?” He said while lighting a normal cigarette between his lips.

“Mhmm. I um held on to his bag of drugs and returned it to him at the end of the day.”

“Why the hell didn’t you keep it for yourself? Literally anyone else would have.” He laughed.

“Because I don’t do drugs...well at least I hadn’t until I smoked weed with Jack that day.” I answered quietly. It seemed like he was judging me through his eyes. I waited from him to blow out the smoke in his mouth before he spoke again.

“Jesus kid, don’t take this the wrong way, but you seem way too innocent for Jack. I mean usually all the people he dates are potheads or promiscuous individuals, but you seem like the average goody-two-shoes.” He said and I jokingly scoffed. “It’s not necessarily a bad thing. I’m just not used to...you. You kind of remind me of Jack when he was in middle school. He was quiet, shy, and he kept to himself. But that all changed when he came out to our parents a few years back.” He explained.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Uh he started hanging out with new friends who taught him to unapologetically be himself. And when he came out as gay to our parents, them bring the uptight assholes they are, kicked him out and of course I let him stay with me.” He took a drag of his cigarette and blew the smoke from his nose.

“That’s horrible.” I frowned, and he nodded.

“He seems happier here with me anyways. The money he makes is better than anything he’ll get at a small part time job, but I don’t want him selling drugs for the rest of his life. I want him to have ambition and go to college or find an actual career after he graduates.”

“I’m sure he could if he really applies himself. Jack is smarter than looks. He knows chemistry like the back of his hand.” I said and he agreed.

“. . . I like you for Jack.” He said, making me blush. “I’m going to call him and see if answers before I have to find him and knock his teeth out.” He picked up his phone and began calling Jack. I waited quietly to see if he would answer.

“Hey Asshole, where are you?” Joe demanded as soon as Jack picked up. I immediately felt bad that jack would answer his call and not mine.

“Fuck off, you have us worried sick over here?” He continued on the phone, poking fun at me. “Who else? Your boyfriend......Yep! And we’ve had the best conversation......Because you haven’t been answering your phone, dickhead. He probably thought you got murdered during a drug exchange gone bad or some shit.”

I began to shift uncomfortably in my seat. I wish I could hear their full conversation.

“Whatever.” Joe said and hung up. He sat his phone down and finished the last of his cigarette. “He said he’s about to turn on our street now.”

“Oh okay.” I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair out of a nervous habit.Soon I could hear Jack’s car locking and him opening the front door. I turned towards him and he sighed.

“Alex I am so sorry!” He apologized, and I looked down.

“S’fine.” I mumbled.

“-No it’s not.” Joe said, cutting Jack off before he could speak. Jack glared at him and looked back at me.

“Let’s go to my room.” He said and I followed him back. I sat on his bed and he stood up, not getting to close to me. “Let me just shower really quick and then we can do literally anything you want.” He rushed.

“But you took a shower earlier when I called you.” I said. I wasn’t accusing him of anything; I was genuinely curious.

“Y-yeah..but I’ve had a long day so far and I-I just need a hot shower.” He stammered.

“Okay, Jack.” I said slightly annoyed. He walked over and kissed me on the cheek before going into his bathroom, promising to be quick. He turned on the hot water and began undressing while he waited for the water to heat up.

“So what are we doing today?” He asked to make conversation while he stepped in the shower. I got up to go in his bathroom, so he could hear me better over the water.

“I don’t know. I just wanted us to hang out, I didn’t really think of anything for us to do.” I told him.

“Well think of something. Do you want to go eat or go see a movie or go bowling? We can do whatever you’d like.” He said, sounding like a guilty parent trying to make their child happy.

“Can we maybe order pizza and watch a movie here.” I suggested. I just wanted to do something simple with Jack since I had his attention for the rest of the day.

“Yeah that sounds great. Go pick a movie, I’ll pay for it if it’s Pay-per-view or whatever.”

“Okay.” I said went back into his room to go find a movie. I was excited to cuddle up next to Jack and spend alone time together. This is what I wanted in a relationship. Someone that would make me feel warm inside just by simply lying together.

I didn’t notice the shower stop until Jack walked out of the bathroom wearing basketball shorts. He smiled at me as he went into his dresser to find a shirt to put on.

“Did you find us a good one?” He asked.

"It’s between Black Panther or A Quiet Place.” I said.

“Let’s do A Quiet Place. I haven’t seen it, but I’ve seen Black Panther three times now.” He chuckled with his back to me. I stared at his backside trying to figure out why he had red lines down his back. It looked someone scratched his back too hard.

“Are you okay?” I asked without thinking and got up.

“What? What do you mean?” He turned to look at me and I placed my hands on his back.

“You have scratches down your back.” I told him and he wiggled from my touch and turned his back away from me. He quickly found a shirt and threw it over his head.

“Oh yeah I’m fine! I must have hurt myself while I was high. I don’t even remember doing it.” He chuckled, sounding guilty.

“Oh okay. Well I guess I’ll start the movie.” I went back to sit on his bed and he followed. I know I seemed naïve but I wasn’t stupid. The bite marks on Jack neck, the scratches on his back, and the multiple showers only let one thing. Jack was cheating on me. Maybe I was stupid because coming to that realization didn’t make me want to leave him. If anything, I wanted to be with him more. I wanted him to want me more than whoever the other person was. He was obviously going to this other guy to get something I wasn’t giving to him. I needed to start doing more to keep Jack, even if that meant I wasn’t comfortable with it. I also wanted to find out who he was cheating on me with. I don’t know what I was planning on doing to the person, but I at least wanted to know what they look like.

“Can we smoke?” I turned to Jack and asked, and he raised an eyebrow at me.

“You actually want to smoke?” He questioned, and I nodded. “Okay.” He pulled out the paraphernalia needed and began making a joint for us. A few minutes later he was handing me the joint to put between my lips and lighting it for me. I needed to be high to loosen up for him. I took a long drag of it and coughed as I exhaled.

“Damn, that was a big hit.” He complemented and did the same himself. I went again after him and felt the effects after my second go at it. I continued going back and forth with Jack until we finished it.

“I really like you.” I told him, and he chuckled.

“I really like you too, Lex.” He repeated back to me.

“Do you really?” I asked.

“Yeah of course!” He exclaimed.

I leaned forward and attached our lips together which Jack gladly accepted. We forgot all about the movie as he pulled me closer by my hips. I slowly placed my leg over his hips, so I would be straddling him. Jack tightly grabbed my butt cheeks and pulled me more into him. Then he realized what was happening and pulled away from my lips.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t.” He removed his hands from my butt and I shook my head and grabbed his bands to put them back.

“No it’s okay.” I tried to kiss him again and he turned to the side and moved his hands again.

“Alex really we don’t have to go past making out. It doesn’t bother me anymore.” He assured me.

“And why not?”

“Because I care about you. I don’t want to ruin our relationship by making you do something you’re not ready for.”

“Wow that’s really sweet of you.” I said sarcastically and rolled my eyes.

“What? What’s wrong?” He asked because of my reaction.

“It’s nothing.” I answered. I didn’t want to argue while high. I could barely think clearly sober. I got off of him and sat on the bed with my arms crossed.

“What’s up with these mood swings you’ve been having lately?” He asked, and I scoffed.

“Mood swings?!” I questioned.

“Yeah, mood swings. First, you’ll be happy to see me and then out of nowhere you’ll get pissed off. What’s wrong, Lex?” He asked, and I sighed.

“I just feel like you don’t want me anymore.” I said honestly. I felt a tear fall from my eye and I tried to catch it before Jack saw, but it was too late.

“Why would you think that??” He lifted my face by my chin, so I would look up at him.

“I don’t know.” I sniffled, I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth.

“Alex, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m afraid of losing you which is why I want everything between us to be perfect. I don’t want to rush our relationship. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do things you’re not comfortable doing just to make me happy. Trust me, I want you badly but I’m willing to wait until you’re sure you’re ready. Okay?”

“You’re honestly waiting on me? You’re not um using someone to get what I won’t give you?” I asked timidly and looked back down as he took a deep breath.

“No babe, I want you and only you.” He said, and I smiled. I knew I was just overreacting.

“Okay. I’m sorry for the random outburst.” I let him reach down and kiss me a few times.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry I made you feel like I didn’t want you. You don’t understand how badly I do. I fantasize about us fucking every night before I go to sleep.” He admitted, and I giggled.

“Am I any good in these fantasies?” I asked, and he laughed.

“You’re literally the best.”

“I’ll try to live up to your expectations.” I joked.

“I’m sure you won’t have to try hard.” He snuggled into me and grabbed the remote to restart the movie since we missed the first few minutes.

Notes