Last Young Renegade Heartache

And just like that, I felt at home again.

It was almost supernatural how fast everything in my life seemed to improve whenever Luna and the boys would return from tour. My life didn’t just stop for them, of course. I had a cushy job as a reporter for the local newspaper, an apartment, and a boyfriend. I had a life. It just seemed so much better when they were more active in it. The best stories I wrote at work were about All Time Low, Baltimore’s hometown heroes. My apartment seemed more livelier when the gang came to visit. And Will, well...I was still working on Will.

It only took Luna a couple days after the party to already get into the bridal mode. In fact, I was surprised it took her that long. I expected the two lovebirds to take some time for themselves, though, and I was glad they did. I figured they would need a break before involving us “children” in their grown up planning.

Soon, I was back at the Gaskarth home, where the discount Avengers would be assembling to start working on a wedding. I was the first one to arrive, and part of me was grateful. I felt like I owed an apology to Alex and Luna, and even more, I needed some advice. The two of them always seemed to have my best interests at heart, and I was more than eager to hear what they had to say about Jack.

Luna greeted me with a hug and lead me to the living room, where dozens of bridal magazines, printed pages, and miscellaneous office supplies were already scattered, and I couldn’t help but smile to myself. “I see you’ve been busy! How does your fiancé feel about you trashing your house already?”

“Believe it or not, I love it,” Alex suddenly appeared, a water bottle in hand. He pressed a light kiss to the top of Luna’s head, a smile quickly coming to his face. “I’ve been helping in any way I can. I’m waiting for the future missus to get sick of me though.”

I laughed a bit, shaking my head slightly. “14 years later and you jokers are still trying to make me vomit from how cute you are. Unbelievable!”

Alex took a seat beside Luna, rolling his eyes playfully. “Hey, you and Jack used to be just as disgusting. That was my comeuppance,” he paused, shooting me an apologetic look. “Sorry.”

My smile faded slightly, but I tried to shrug his comment off, playing it off as nothing. It wasn’t the first time someone in our group had slipped up. Being one of two exes within a group of close friends was always a challenge, even after so many years. There was always mention of how Jack and I used to be, and it made my heart heart. “Speaking of Jack, actually, I wanted your guys’ opinions. Jack was...surprisingly welcoming at the party. I don’t know why he suddenly wanted to bury the hatchet but I’m glad he did. I’m sure it’s because of you guys, but you know, I guess I’ll take it.”

“Nora, we’ve been telling that boy for years to stop fucking around and to make amends. I know he wanted to, but I think maybe he wasn’t ready. Dunno why it took 12 years and us getting married for it, but that’s Jack I guess,” Alex chimed in, taking a sip of water.

“I don’t think it’s that he wasn’t ready, I just think he didn’t know how to do it,” Luna shrugged, looking back at me with a small smile. “Now that you two are really speaking again, I think you guys need to sit down and hash everything out, and definitely catch up. You guys might as well be pals instead of getting each other’s news from me.”

I paused, looking at the two in surprise. I knew my morbid curiosity often got the best of me, and I always asked about Jack, but he wondered about me too? “Jack asks you about me? After our breakup, I didn’t think he’d care enough.”

“You don’t just stop loving and caring about one of your best friends so suddenly, Nora. And I think you two know that better than anyone,” Alex mentioned, giving me a familiar look. He had the tendency to give me a “duh!” look many times since I had known him. Granted, it was only when I was being blind, which was more often than I’d like to admit, but it still didn’t seem as obvious as he thought.

His words hit me hard. My eyes fell to the coffee table, brow furrowed in concentration as I tried to process what he said. I knew he was right, but for some reason, it just didn’t click. My brain had almost made Jack out to be a heartless villain after our break up, and I had forgotten that he was still at least partially the boy I always knew. “Wait, so how did he feel about—?”

As if on cue, the doorbell rang before the front door flung open, a sign that the other boys had arrived. My unfinished question hung in my mind, but I tried to put on a happy face for my friends and ignore my troubling thoughts. Even still, what had Jack thought about me getting together with Will? Why did I care?

Everyone soon crowded around the table holding countless materials, and Luna’s typical fun loving and easy going attitude quickly changed into a woman who meant business. Alex and I shared a look over it, having to concentrate so as not to burst out laughing. It was so out of character, and honestly, adorable to see her so dedicated already.

“Okay, guys, first order of business: the bridal party. Obviously, the groom already has three gents backing him up, but it’s just Nora and I on the other side. I wouldn’t normally complain, but it wouldn’t be very symmetrical,” she began, eyes serious. I noticed Alex stifling another laugh along with me, but she didn’t seem to notice, her attention turning to Jack and Rian instead. “Jack, would you mind if I asked your sister May? And Rian, would you mind if I asked Cassadee?”

Jack raised an eyebrow, but quickly shook his head. “Nah, my sister’s cool. Plus I think she’d be pissed if I even tried to say no so I’m outvoted anyway.”

I looked at Rian for his response. Him and Cass has broken up awhile ago, but I hadn’t had the chance to ask him how he’d been feeling. “Hey, it’s no big deal. Cass and I are on good terms,” he cut in, adding an awkward sort of shrug.

“Perfect! Okay, that’s one thing checked off the list!” Luna beamed, picking up a pen and making a note. “Alright, the second thing...I don’t know where else to start. So, everybody pick up a magazine, and start looking for cool shit. We need to brainstorm.”

An audible groan resounded amongst the boys, but rather than arguing, they each picked up some sort of bridal material and began flipping through it, somewhat bewildered expressions on their faces.

For a moment, the six of us were quiet for once in our lives, the sound of pages flipping being the only thing filling the room. It wasn’t an awkward silence, but rather that everyone was actually concentrating. Paying that much attention could only last so long before we devolved into our old ways, though.

After some time, there were pages ripped out and scattered everywhere, and we all sat chatting. It had been a long time since I was able to just shoot the shit with my friends, and it was a nice feeling. I felt relaxed for the first time since the party. At least, until Zack dared to mention the topic I had feared most. “So, Nora, is your dude doing any better? He seemed kinda tense when we met him.”

Even at the vague mention of Will, Luna’s smile faded, almost immediately followed by her serious gaze pinning to me. I felt like I had come under fire suddenly, like I pissed off a parent rather than my best friend. “I can’t fucking believe he made you leave! Especially when we offered a solution for you to stay! There’s no reason he shouldn’t have made you do the opposite of what you really wanted.”

I sighed, setting down the magazine I was holding, leaving it flipped open to the page I was on. “But I abandoned him at the party! I completely ignored him and hung out with you guys the whole time! That wasn’t fair!”

“He’s a grown man, Nora. One with a medical degree, nonetheless. He could have made himself at home, talked to anyone, or done anything but what he actually did: which was mope on the couch!” She shot back immediately, eyes flaring. “Sorry, I just think it’s so idiotic, and you don’t deserve that.”

She was right. I knew Will could have been more active, but I still felt bad for the role I played in it. Besides, he was my boyfriend. I had to at least try to defend him. “But he was completely out of his element! He didn’t know anyone there!”

Zack shook his head, his eyes pinning to me before I even finished speaking. “I mean, I’m shy too. I’m horrible with strangers. But Rian and I tried to talk to him the whole night and it was like talking to a wall. All his answers were short and from the start, he acted like he didn’t want to talk to us. We eventually stopped trying because...why put the effort in, you know?”

I sighed again, running a hand through my hair nervously. “I just...he’s not a bad dude, guys. He’s actually very sweet. Normally he treats me really well. We have a...simple relationship. And I don’t mind it. Maybe he just needs to warm up to new people.”

“Nora,” Jack began, looking me directly in the eyes with an intense expression. “Other than having you leave early, the thing that really got to me was how he finally intervened. I could see him on the couch fucking pouting, and after I started talking to you, suddenly he wants to do something. That just seems...possessive. And I don’t like it.”

The negative words from Jack especially seemed to affect me, and I couldn’t really think of a rebuttal. If any of them dated anyone who acted like that, I knew I would say the exact same thing. Still, that wasn’t the Will I had gotten to know. I couldn’t believe that was him. I was quiet for a moment, eyes darting to each of my friends, finally resting on Rian. Out of all of us, Rian was the most sensible, and definitely the best judge of character. He could read people so well, even at a glance, and he was right about almost everyone. “Rian, you’ve been quiet. What are your thoughts?”

Rian looked like a deer caught in headlights briefly, stumbling over whatever words he was trying to speak. “I mean, I don’t know. I didn’t really get the chance to talk to him, so I can’t really make a reading.”

That was a lie, and I knew it. Rian was too nice to say he didn’t like Will, probably for my sake more than anything. My heart sank at this realization, but I tried not to let it show. Instead, I pretended I didn’t know. “See, guys? He at least deserves another chance before you make a full judgment. What’s the worst that could happen?”

No one really responded to that, and thankfully, the subject was soon changed. It bugged me that my best friends didn’t like Will, but I couldn’t just give up on him. After all, that sweet guy I had met months ago still had to be in there somewhere, right?

It didn’t take long for the gang to detract from the wedding plans, falling into old habits of goofing off. Luna didn’t seem to mind, though. We had plenty of time to plan her and Alex’s dream wedding, and we would be at her full disposal.

Eventually, our group numbers began to dwindle. Zack and Rian were the first ones to go, and despite my desires, I had to go and adult as well. With a sigh, I stood up from my position, smiling at my three remaining pals. “Alright, guys. I hate to leave, but I have to start working on an article or else I might die. Let’s get together soon, yeah? We have more details to work out.”

“I think I’m gonna head out too,” Jack mentioned, seemingly eager to join me. “I’ll walk out with you.”

We bid our goodbyes to Luna and Alex, promising to continue our original mission soon enough. After the front door closed behind us, I suddenly felt vulnerable. Silence fell between, and our steps seemed to sync to a slow pace as we strolled down the sidewalk to our cars I wasn’t even sure what to say. I thought about what Luna and Alex said, but I couldn’t seem to speak any words out loud.

“Listen, Nora, I uh...” Jack began, laughing a bit nervously. “I was wondering if maybe you’d like to get a drink with me soon? Maybe tomorrow even, I dunno. I just think you and I should hang out.”

I found myself smiling at the offer, as if on instinct, but it seemed to fade almost immediately, a realization dawning on me. “Jack, you don’t have to do this. You and I can work on the wedding and be business partners, or whatever. We’ll do it for Alex and Luna, and then go back to...whatever this is.”

He looked confused, almost immediately shaking his head at my words. “What? No, that’s not why I’m asking you to hang. I mean, it’s part of it, but...I miss my friend. I know it’s been 12 damn years and we’re different people now but I want to get to know the new Nora. I want us to be friends. I have for a long time but I thought it wouldn’t be what you wanted.”

“I never wanted this,” I stopped walking and turned to face him. “Sure, it was painful to even see you for awhile, but I would have loved to be your friend again, Jack. And I still would love to. Time matters now more than ever. I mean, Christ, we’ll both be 30 in a couple months and our best friends are getting married. This, right now, is the time of our lives, and I would be more than happy to have you be a full part of it.”

He broke into a familiar grin, one reserved for me that I couldn’t help but return. The feeling it gave me was one I hadn’t felt in years, and it both comforted me and terrified me. Whatever the case, I was just happy to get my friend back after all this time. “Then that’s what we’ll do. Best friends again it is. I’ll call you soon, okay? And we can set up a time to meet.”

Without really thinking, I threw my arms around his neck in a tight hug. He seemed startled for a brief second before he returned the hug, resting his face against the top of my head.

We stayed like that for a moment, both of us seemingly reluctant to let go. Remembering my deadlines, I finally broke the embrace, still grinning like a madwoman. We said our final goodbyes before heading back to our respective cars, and the good feeling I had just had seemed to disappear as soon as I was away from Jack. Outside of his hug, I felt cold and even somewhat empty, but I didn’t know why. I tried to pass it off to myself as excitement of reuniting with him, but even then, I wasn’t convinced.

I looked in the rear view mirror, wanting to adjust it when I caught a glimpse of my reflection. Without even realizing, silent tears rolled down my cheeks. Feeling silly, I quickly brushed them away, trying to focus my attention on getting home.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I unlocked it to find a text from Jack already, a simple smiling emoji being all it read. Then, I really started crying, but I knew they were happy tears. Even his simple gesture was a sign that he was still the same deep down, and that comforted me. I didn’t want him to be a villain or a bad memory for me. I just wanted him to be Jack.

With the smile returning to my face, I found myself feeling a joy I hadn’t in a long. I just hoped it was here to stay this time.

Notes

Sorry if this chapter is lame, there's still just a lot of build up :P Chapter 4 will see a little more drama and emotion AND introduce a new character, so stay tuned!

Thanks for reading!!!

-Sasha