Jack woke up to the sound of Alex’s screaming. This, too, was normal on this day, but the sound of it still sent shivers up Jack’s spine. Both of them managed to get some sleep and were at opposite end of the bed, fingers very near each other but not necessarily touching.

“NO! DON’T LEAVE!” he yelled, sobbing at the same time. He let out a blood-curling scream that the neighbors will definitely be questioning about later.

“Shh, Alex!” he whispered, moving closer to him and shaking him awake. “Alex, you’re dreaming, please wake up!”

Alex gasped and sat up, head turning in every direction, looking for something. When he saw Jack, he let out a strangled cry and tackled him, sobbing into his chest. “H-holy shit… t-that’s… he was… Jack please I…”

“Shh, calm down, it was just a dream,” he said, wrapping his arms fully around him, hugging him as tight as he could. “Just calm down, Lex. Same dream?” Alex nodded vigorously. “You just stay with me, okay?”

“I was in the fucking bedroom when he did it, Jack,” he started. Jack has heard this story tons of times, but he wasn’t going to point that out – he never did. “He was saying that he was sorry and all those things, and he couldn’t hear me when I told him to stop. T-then he… he shot…” He broke down crying again. “Then Mom came in and told me that it was my fault… I was holding the gun and…”

“Shh, Alex. None of it is your fault, okay? You were 8, had no idea what was happening, and couldn’t have done anything. What you saw was just a dream. Find peace, Alex. Please.”

“My mom left me in the room, and Tom kept telling me that it’s all my fault… and my dad… and… and you weren’t… you weren’t there…”

“You didn’t kill your brother. You did nothing to get him to kill himself. You understand?” He nodded into his chest, squeezing him tightly. “Let’s get something to eat, alright?” He nodded and squeezed him again. “You want me to carry you down?” Another nod. Jack made sure that the older’s arms were secure around his neck before hitching his arms around his knees and waist, and lifting him.

“That’s such a stupid fucking dream,” Jack heard him mutter, and he couldn’t help but smile. Knowing Alex was looking at him, he nodded in agreement. “Does that get me a kiss?”

Jack nearly dropped him. A kiss? He heard Alex chuckle lightly. “I was just kidding, Jack.”

Jack chose to just smirk in response. He really hopes Alex can’t feel his heart palpitating wildly. He set him down on one of the stools in the kitchen, not at all surprised that the older chose to keep his arms around his neck. “Alex, how am I supposed to get food if you refuse to let go of me?”

The guarded look was back in his eyes. “I-I…”

Jack sighed, and pressed his lips against Alex’s temple, feeling him freeze up, then eventually relax. “Eyes on me, okay?” He muttered against his forehead, and Alex nodded, sighing as Jack pulled away. The younger carefully reached around to unhook his arms from around his neck, hearing him give a slight whimper as they were no longer touching. Jack kept his eyes on him until he felt his back against the cabinets, then turned around and let out a small sigh. Taking care of Alex was always tiring work, but he would rather he did it than anyone else.

“Why do you think the dream keeps coming back?” His voice came out like one of an eight year old.

“Because you’re not quite over his death, and probably will never be.” Straight to the point and completely honest. “I’d like to tell you that everything’s going to be okay, Alex, but I have no reassurances. I’ve never been through what you’ve been through.”

“But you’re here to numb the pain for me,” he said in response, and Jack could hear the smile in his voice. “Like you always are.”

Another thing about Alex at this time: he’s always sappy. Jack never usually minded it in the past, but it was a foreign feeling to him, as if it belonged in movies and books alone. Jack shut the cabinet and walked back over to Alex, resting his hands on either side of his body on the table behind him. A small smile played on Alex’s lips. “And I always will be because you’re my best friend.” The words and the feeling behind them were very, very foreign to Jack, and it felt awkward but nice on his tongue. His smile mirrored Alex’s as he went back to searching for food, eventually coming up with half of a steak and some rice in the cooker. Good enough.

As Jack went about preparing and cooking the food, Alex hummed a happy tune – it felt nice to hear from him, so Jack cooked with a slight smile on his face. “Did you hear the rumors about Blink’s tour?” Jack asked. The conversation topic seemed right too him, and he barely even gave thought to it. It felt natural.

“Yep. I really hope they have Baltimore in one of those dates, because I am in damn good need of a concert. It’s been, what, three months?”

“Oh, you went to that Foo gig?”

“Like I’d miss it,” he scoffed. “You were there?”

Jack nodded, plating out the food and placing it on a tray. “Let’s take this party to the living room, yeah?” He offered his elbow to Alex, who wrapped his hand around the skinny bicep without a moment’s hesitation.

They sat on the couch and ate in the comfortable silence. They were probably thinking the same thing: having your best friend back is great. If Jack was on the outside looking in, he would have thought that it was all too sudden, and should probably talk things out in more detail, but he just can’t bring himself to; he’s either too content with how they are now, or just doesn’t give a damn about the past. It’s been a long time since he’s felt that uncaring for what’s happening. They made small talk mostly about that Foo show, and their hopes for the Blink tour – nothing too deep, and straying away from the original reason as to how and why Alex was here.

Quarter to midnight, they were still on the couch, silently watching a rerun of Friends. Alex’s phone rang, and he looked at it in slight fear. What was it now? He picked up his phone fro the coffee table with shaking hands, selecting the ‘accept’ button, and holding it up to his ear. “Zack,” he said, trying to sound nonchalant, but it sounded very strained to Jack. “What’s up?” Jack couldn’t hear what Zack was saying, but he did notice Alex pale at his words. “Uh, nope. NO DON’T… I don’t know, man, I’ll just head home early tomorrow morning, or something. Yeah, Jack’s taking good care of me here.” His cheeks tinged with pink, and his eyes skirted Jack’s. He bit his lip as he listened to Zack talk. “No, don’t be dumb, I didn’t do anything bad. No, Dad, nothing of great importance will happen tomorrow, so I have all the rights in the world to skip it.” Alex winked at Jack, who smiled. “Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re turning into Mom. Goodbye.”

“I still have no idea who Zack is, you know,” Jack said as Alex placed his phone back on the coffee table.

Alex snorts. “He was my therapist when I was eight, and my family thought I was unstable with the sudden move to a whole different country around last year, but that wasn’t the case. Anyhow, they had him moved here as soon as possible. He’s more of a friend than a therapist, though.”

Jack laughed along with him, a warm sense of relief filling his gut before he even knew why. He really shouldn’t be thinking that way. “He seems pretty young, though.”

Alex nodded. “Twenty eight, but he’s one of those child prodigy people that started and finished college early, and then he came to work for us. It’s probably all those salads and protein stuff ugh.” He shuddered. “He exercises whenever he gets the chance to, it’s insane.”

“I would have thought he could have influenced you to do the same, seeing as how you’re eating everything in sight.” He handed him the second bowl of food, which he gladly took.

“You know how I am after all those stuff happen.” He shrugged.

“Does Zack?”

“Nope,” he said, popping his lips on the letter p. “Only you know how I act towards those things because you’re the only one ever around. He knows today’s the day, though, and will probably force me to talk to him later.” He grimaced at the thought, and Jack laid a hand on top of his.

“I would love to say that I’d fight him if he comes near you, but he’s fucking huge, so good luck with that.”

Alex laughed at that. “You’re terrible.”

Jack grinned back at him, standing from the couch. “Let’s go up. Get you out of those nasty clothes and clean you up.”

“Ooooh, you going to undress me, Jack?”

“Don’t be a smartass, asshole.” The teasing about being intimate made Jack uncomfortable, but he keeps reminding himself that they always acted like that around each other.

“I’m just all about the ass, ain’t I?”

“Freshman Alex Asskarth has resurrected from Nickname Cemetery.” Oh, was that insensitive of him?

Alex snorted. “Fuck you, bro, that was embarrassing.”

“No doubt in my mind that it was. Just your luck to have your mother be the motivational speaker and flash your baby ass to everyone.”

“It was pale and still is pale, surprisingly. Want a look?”

“No thanks. Bet you’re starting to sag anyways.”

“Butt boobs, bro.”

They entered his room in a fit of laughter, Alex plopping down on the bed, and Jack going to his closet. He came out with a random shirt and some sweats he never wore, and threw them at Alex, who whined and thrashed around in the bed. Jack rolled his eyes and jumped next to him, shaking his arm. “A-A-A-Alex just get dressed,” he whined along, trying to push him off the bed. “You’re stinky.”

“Yeah and you’re a bottle of perfume,” he laughed, rolling off the bed and walking in the bathroom.

Jack sighed and lounged against the pillows, shutting his eyes for a moment. The sudden casual conversation was making him nervous. Don’t get him wrong, he loves that they’re talking again, but like he said before, it’s all about where this is going. He doesn’t want history to repeat itself; he’s still trying to figure out what happened. Hopefully, when he understands it fully, he’ll be able to think of a way to either prevent it or set things on the right track – or perhaps both. He just doesn’t want to lose his best friend again.

It has occurred to him that perhaps overthinking will lose Alex, but he finds no other way to do it. He has the strongest feeling that acting normally and without thought around the older boy will lead to a relationship. That night when Alex came over and brought him Chinese take-out, he had a ‘fuck it’ attitude by the end of it; he didn’t mean that he was going to make it happen. Well, he was going to make it happen, it being a friendship. He’s okay with the stage they’re in now – frankly, they skipped all the awkward getting to know you’s and such because they already know each other well enough, so they jumped to the casual insults, what he considers the last stage of friendship. They act like siblings, and he likes the feeling – he definitely likes the smile Alex wears now.

“Sorry for making you tired,” he heard a small voice say, and his eyes flew open. Alex stood by the foot of the bed all small and innocent-looking, playing with the hem of the shirt Jack gave him. He crawled in next to him and stared straight ahead. “Zack’s picking me up early tomorrow morning so that we could both sleep or something like that.” He looked at Jack, then down at his torso. “Uh, you don’t mind if I… I mean, I have no more reason to be so close but..” He crawled nearer to him, fitting his head under the younger’s arm, resting it on his chest. He placed his hand on Jack’s stomach, Jack resting his arm around his shoulders, hand dangerously perched on his hip. Alex didn’t seem to mind, so he kept it there. “Just, you know… thanks so much. I’ve been thinking about how I would cope with this day for a month, and I couldn’t come up with a way. Not that I was using you, it’s just,” He hid his face in Jack’s chest, and the younger could feel the dampness of his face through his shirt. Oh no. “I really missed you.”

“No need to miss me now, Lex.” That nickname again. “I’ll always be here.”

“You’re sweet,” he muttered. He shifted himself so that he was practically hugging his side. “Take a nap, lo—I mean, Jack. T-take a nap.”

The problem with nicknames was always that he was never quite used to letting them go – they last, and they usually stick if they’re right. Jack had two for Alex when they were in a relationship: Lex, and babe, the latter because he was his baby, proven right by their current situation. It was incredibly corny and cliché, but it’s right for Alex.

And Alex’s for Jack? Love. Being as fucking British and sweet as the boy can be in one word.

Notes

Props to The Summer Set for the title!!

I'm so sorry omg I really forgot that I uploaded the story here :(((((( If you want, you can just go on Mibba and find the story! It's under the same title and author :-)

Thanks for all the comments!!