Dear Sister, Here's Some Advice

I was stood with a champagne glass in my hand, a big genuine smile permanently on my face. Everybody was dressed for the occasion, including me. Despite having to stand the entire time, I wore some open nude-coloured heels and a black jumpsuit. Just to clarify, it was quite a fancy event, but nothing too serious either.

You see, it was the evening of the grand opening. The opening of my exhibition at the gallery I had sent my photos to drunkenly one night. Honestly, I never thought I would be here. If Charlie hadn’t been over that day and we hadn’t had some liquid courage, I never would have taken the opportunity. I never would have believed that it would actually be chosen to become a temporary exhibit. But, hey, I guess you miss all the shots you don’t take. You’d be surprised with what you can achieve if you decide to care a little less about rejection.

There was a large variety of guests attending. All the tickets had been sold, meaning it was a full house. Now, bare in mind that this full house was different to a concert’s full house. It wasn’t packed it with people shoulder to shoulder. This was just the first fifty people who managed to get a ticket. This included people who frequented the gallery and went to many art shows, people who stumbled upon it at the right time and were interested, donors to the gallery, even a small group of people who were obviously fans of Jack and had somehow managed to find out about this show, and of course my family was here. Well, my family consisted just of my parents, which was more than enough. Jack was still on tour, so he couldn’t make it, and Charlie was supposed to be here, but he texted me earlier saying he was stuck in traffic. I didn’t ask any of my extended family to come. If I got into that, they’d start questioning me about not inviting everyone. So, if they wanted, they could come the following days when the exhibition was open to the public.

Everybody was chatting, drinking the champagne, enjoying the fancy snacks waiters were bringing around, all provided by the gallery. Some were already taking a look at the prints of my photographs on display even though the event hadn’t officially started yet. You see, people were invited to come early, but it only really started once I got up to say something.

I had rehearsed and rehearsed this speech. I’d probably done so more often than I had rehearsed the songs I would play up on stage. This had to go perfect. It really was that important. Even as I was getting a look at my own work and greeting people, I was going over the words in my head again and again. I repeated them so often I even started becoming afraid that it would sound too rehearsed. I didn’t want to sound like a robot. But I also hadn’t brought any cue cards, so I didn’t want to freeze up. It was nerve wracking yet so exciting.

Eventually one of the gallery employees picked up a microphone. He went up to the raised platform that worked much like a small stage large enough for one person. All he had to do was the generic welcoming speech. As the name suggests, he welcomed the guests and thanked them for coming. He then slowly worked his way into introducing myself by mentioning the new exhibition. I was stood to the side and put my glass down, prepared to get up there myself. As soon as he said my name, I did just that, taking over the microphone.

“Hi,” I started with a smile. It was strange hearing my own voice this way. It came out of the speakers, but it didn’t echo like during soundcheck in an empty venue and it also wasn’t the same as hearing myself through my in-ears. I was just talking to a handful of people in the same room as me. “So, I’m going to start by thanking you guys for coming again. I never really expected my photography to be on display anywhere, so it’s so amazing to see you all standing here. I also want to thank everybody working here for making this happen.

“I’ll give you a bit of context, but promise to keep it short. The photos here have all been taken over a span of a year. While that is all quite close, they are in different sets. If you take a look around, you’ll see that there are a few themes strung throughout them. The first is mainly based around nature, these were taken at the beginning of the one year journey. However, as my life changed, so did my photography. I had the opportunity during the summer to tour the country with a cross-country festival, which is where I took most of my human interaction shots. My third set, the largest of them all, is the one based around human form. This is different from human interaction since it’s about the physical form rather than the way society works. Many of these photographs have been taken on 35 millimeter film, so they really are one of a kind. You could argue that some of them are a bit obscure, but it actually highlights the form. In one way you could say that it objectifies the human body more rather than sexualises it.

“With that to keep in mind, I’m going to let you go off and take a look around. I’ll be walking around, so if you have any questions or are up to discuss anything, don’t hesitate to come up to me and ask.”

The speech did not go as I had planned at all. What I had imagined was much deeper and much more about meaning, but in the heat of the moment I decided not to go for it. The thing I liked about the photos was that they were open to interpretation. Yes, I had a specific feeling or message behind things, but that didn’t mean it had to spark the same emotion in other people. The only thing I did want to clarify was that my human form photographs were not just random pictures of both clothed and naked bodies. So many artists and photographers loved the theme of sexuality, I was trying to steer away from it. It just wasn’t me.

I got a soft clap from everybody in the room and went off stage again. As soon as it ended, everybody went back to chatting, only more people were looking at the actual photos and they were even analysing them. Charlie, though, still hadn’t arrived and hadn’t texted me in a while, worrying me. I got a few questions here and there, mainly just about how I took the photo or where. However, when I got to the wall with thee human form photos, I got into a bit more of a discussion, which took my mind of Charlie for a bit.

There were these two girls who were obviously fans of Jack’s and had managed to find out about this show and decided to come. They were both wearing several All Time Low bracelets on their arms, but I wasn’t going to judge them just yet. There was indeed a chance that they were fans hoping to see Jack here and get to meet him, or even fans that wanted to infiltrate his personal life, but it was also possible that they were genuinely interested in my work, whether they had found it through Jack or not. If it was the first, it was quite unfortunate because he wasn’t here. If it was the second (and a bit of the first), and they'd started asking me questions about him or very personal questions, I was going to slowly leave the conversation. And if it was the third, then it would be perfect.

“Hey,” the larger and taller girl of the two caught my attention as I walked past. When I came up to them, she continued. “I just want to start off by saying these are so amazing.”

“Thank you,” I grinned, still waiting to see which direction this was going to end up going.

“I especially like this whole human form thing,” she added, taking a glance over the few photographs in front of her. “I have a few questions, if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, of course, I’ll try to answer them,” I replied. I wanted to encourage questions yet still give myself a way out if needed.

“Okay, so, I’ve been trying to get into photography myself. I mean, I have a camera, and I do take pictures, I’m just having a little trouble. This is the kind of stuff I would love to do, but… I don’t know… how do you get the confidence to do it?”

“To take photos?” I asked her to clarify, getting excited that she was genuinely interested. I loved talking about photography, especially if somebody was asking for advice. “Or to take these specific photos with people in them?”

“Umm, more the second one.” She gave me a nod.

“That’s actually a really interesting question. Many people here ask me about lighting or settings,” I joked a little to show her that she didn’t have to be embarrassed asking me questions. One, there were no bad questions. And two, I wasn’t intimidating even though I was Jack’s girlfriend. “Well, I know that it can be daunting. I obviously switched my style from nature and landscapes to people, which is quite drastic. For me it was mainly getting over my nerves taking pictures of strangers in public. However, for these photos I just happen to be close we everybody in them. A lot of them are actually candid–but don’t start thinking that I’ve had orgies, that’s not the case at all.” I got a laugh from them, but I realised I had to really be careful with my wording. “I’m just really close to them. Of course, it’s very reasonable to not find yourself in these situations. Some of them are posed. All I can say is to get over your own embarrassment and awkwardness and help out the person or people that are actually modelling for you. If you can be professional about it and help them get into the right pose, they’ll soon forget they’re fully naked in front of you.”

“Oh, that makes sense,” she smaller girl said, nodding in understanding.

“What about making the photos actually look good? Like all of these just look good, but for me that seems to be an occasional thing.” The larger girl investigated further.

“Other than the pose, consider the angle and cropping. Show something unexpected. So not just from your line of sight. For example, with this one,” I pointed at a hand grabbing at a male’s hip, “I could take it from standing up, tilting the camera down, or I can crouch down and zoom in on the skin stretching. One shows you something you wouldn’t normally see everyday, while the other looks just like you would see yourself when taking a shower. And the only way to perfect getting the right angle and crop is by practice. Personally, I practiced on myself for a bit, just with a mirror. Of course, not all angles are possible on yourself, but you can start to imagine something that would better. Some of those photos even made their way up on the displays here.”

“I don’t know why I never thought of that. Of course, that makes so much sense,” the girl sighed in astonishment. “Thank you so much.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m happy to answer any questions. It’s nice to see other people show their interest.”

We continued to talk a bit more about the specifics of some photographs. I couldn’t put into words how happy I was that they enjoyed this collection so much. This was my favourite as well. It was a lot more abstract than everything else. And what can I say? I was a sucker for some dramatic black and white photography. So, I loved discussing the details with these two girls who I was correct not to judge.

Our conversation only got interrupted when I heard a male voice behind me. “Who’s that sexy motherfucker?”

“You’re missing the entire point!” I told Charlie as I turned around to look at him

“Hey, I worked hard for that, I’m allowed to say it,” he retorted, pointing at the photo of him. I had taken it during a drunk night on the bus. He had slipped off the couch and was lying on the floor, his arms resting on said couch. In this photo, he was wearing underwear since we weren’t drunk enough to strip off all our clothes in the warped tour heat.

“I’m glad you made it, I was worried,” I told him and gave him a quick hug.

“I know, I’m sorry,” he apologised and held up his phone on a black screen. “I had to make a detour and my phone died. Otherwise I would have texted you.”

“It’s okay.”

He smiled back at me. “I’m going to find a place where I can charge this thing and then I’ll come back. I’ve got a gift for you.”

I chuckled and shook my head as he went further into the exhibition to find a power outlet. I really didn’t need a gift. Being able to showcase my work was amazing enough already, and he had helped me get here. My parents had gotten me some flowers, but that was more like a gesture. I didn’t want Charlie to give me more than he already had.

I barely got to restart my conversation with the two girls before I got interrupted yet again. Once again, it was somebody from behind me.

“Where’s my photo?” The person asked.

My eyes went wide and my heart rate increased. Even though I could already tell who it was, I was still shocked when I spun around. Jack was standing there right in front of me. I didn’t know why or how he was here, but I didn’t care. He really was there! I couldn’t throw my arms around his neck fast enough. When he reciprocated the hug and I took a deep breath in, I knew that this was real.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in–I don’t remember–somewhere?!” I asked in bewilderment as I pulled away.

“Well, yeah, but I’m here for a few hours. I couldn’t miss this!” He grinned back, looking very handsome in the black suit he was wearing.

“How are you here, though?”

He shrugged and looked in Charlie’s direction, who was chatting with my parents. “Charlie helped organise it. He was late because he picked me up at the airport.”

“Oh my god, that sneaky bastard,” I gasped and shook my head at him. “He told me traffic was busy.”

“Yeah, traffic… air traffic… my flight was delayed.”

“Honestly, that doesn’t even matter anymore,” I brushed it off, too excited that he was actually here now.

“Okay good, because really, though, where is my photo that makes me look just as amazing? Like, I’m sensing some favouritism and I don’t really appreciate it,” he joked, but I could tell I would make his day if I told him there were photos of him as well.

“Actually…” I smirked and wiggled my eyebrows, “you’re in a couple as well. And when I say ‘couple’, I mean two and maybe a few more where you can’t tell its you at all.”

“Wait, really?!”

I nodded and grabbed his hand, ready to pull him along and show him everything. However, I stopped myself and faced the two girls again briefly. “Do you guys have anymore questions?”

“No, thank you so much!” They let me go having asked their main questions already and they probably wanted me to get to show Jack what I had been doing.

“It was nice meeting you, come find me if you do have more,” I said my farewells for the time being and immediately pulled Jack along with me.

The photos were still in the same collection, but on a different wall. On the other side of where we were standing, actually. They were all still black and white and many were also taken with the film camera that my dad had given me. The photos Jack was in, though, were a lot smaller than the one Charlie was in. It wasn’t because of who was in them, but it just fit the scene better.

“Oh, damn,” Jack mumbled as his eyes fixated on the smallest of the two.

It was one of the first photos I had taken that had inspired this entire set. Although I hated taking pictures of myself, especially with no clothes on, I loved this one. It was a picture I had taken with Jack in the mirror. We were both completely naked, but my body was shielding Jack’s from the lense and his arms were covering me up. This was the only photo I had of myself like this. Even my practice photographs never had me naked.

“I’m going to need a copy of that,” he whispered so just I could hear and pressed a kiss to my temple, “or do I need to buy that?”

“You actually can’t buy this one,” I told him back, still not able to shake off the warm fuzzy feeling of him being here with me. “Believe it or not, I’m not exactly comfortable with my naked body on other people’s walls. But I’ll print one just for you.”

“Yay.” He looked delighted and let his eyes shift over the other photos until he recognised himself yet again. “That’s a bit creepy.”

In this one, he was asleep on the couch in our living room. I took the picture from below, focusing on his lower jaw and neck. You couldn’t see his face, but you could recognise it was Jack if you knew him. His arm was slightly stretched, working as a nice guiding line towards his jaw. To me, it was a wholesome picture yet it also still showed the human body at an unusual angle.

“Oh, shut up,” I rolled my eyes. “You know I took that one.”

“Other people don’t know that!” he argued.

“It’s none of their business,” I retorted back while looking up at him.

Just looked back at me with a lopsided grin. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I reciprocated the gesture and kissed him softly, making sure it wouldn’t be annoying for the other people around us.

After taking in the moment for a few more seconds, Jack broke us out of it. “Since this is your opening, you should walk around again, talk to people, make connections, answer questions. I’ll go so hi to your parents. And then after this, I’ll take you out for a late dinner.”

“Okay.” I gave him a loving look at pecked his lips one last time before going our separate ways.

Notes