Destroy Rebuild

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror blending in my foundation, Future Hearts echoing off the walls as I got ready for my much anticipated birthday celebration. My stomach turned into knots as soon as Cassadee and Rian left with Will. They were keeping him overnight so we would have plenty of time to have fun, and I was a nervous wreck. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust them, but I hadn’t been away from Will for more than four hours since he was born. I mentioned the thought of staying sober throughout the night in case they needed me, but Alex rolled his eyes and told me that wasn’t necessary.

“They’re gonna be alright, Whit,” he sighed as he leaned against the bathroom door frame. “I wish you would calm down.”

I looked at him through the reflection of the mirror. “I wish you weren’t so calm. It makes me feel like you don’t care if he’s ok.”

He stood straight and his eyes narrowed. “Of course, I care. Which is why I asked Ri and Cass to babysit. I trust them and their judgement more than anyone else.”

“I know,” I sighed. “And I trust them, too, to a certain extent. But it’s not like they’re watching our goldfish for us. It’s our baby.”

Alex nodded, his lips forming half a smile.

I pouted and rested my head against his bare chest. “I’m sorry. It’s just a mommy thing. No one can do it as well as I can, you know?”

“I get it, babe,” Alex nodded, and his arms wrapped around my shoulders. “But trust me. Will is going to be fine. I wouldn’t send our son away overnight with just anyone. I hope you know that. He’s in the best hands.”

I nodded against his chest. “I just miss him.”

He was quiet for a moment, silently rocking us from side to side and I felt his abdomen expand as he drew in a deep breath. “Do you want to cancel tonight? I can call everyone and tell them we won’t be going. I can go get Will and we can come back and have a quiet night together. I’ll order take out or something.”

I tilted my head back to look up at him. The smile he forced was obviously fake and I knew he didn’t really want to cancel our plans. Truthfully, I didn’t want to either, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of missing my son. I didn’t even know if I would be able to enjoy myself as much as I should, but I did want to at least try.

“No, don’t cancel. I don’t want the guys to think I can’t hang.”

Alex tilted his head to the side. “You don’t have to prove anything to them, Whitney.”

I shrugged. “I kind of want to…”

“Good,” he smiled as he bent down to kiss me. “Because Jack would have been quick to call you out as a pussy.”

His hands slid down my back and over my hips before resting on my bottom and with a quick flick of his wrist he spanked my left cheek, my yelp and the loud smack echoing off the walls before he winked and left me to finish getting ready.

A little flustered, I turned back to the mirror and mumbled, “I’m not a pussy.”

After getting ready I thought it would be wise to use my breast pump to get some non-contaminated milk for Will, since Alex advised me that Jack was going to do his best to get me as drunk as humanly possible. A smile crept up on my lips as I thought about the last time I was even a little drunk, which was my last birthday when I met Alex and we got ourselves into this wonderful situation. He sat on the bed across from me as I winced a little while the pump pulled on my breast.

“Is it weird that I’m kind of turned on by this?” he asked, leaning closer and pressing his lips to the side of my neck.

“Very,” I laughed.

He shrugged, and his hand squeezed my knee before slowly making its assent to my thigh. “We have a few minutes before the guys get here. And everyone deserves birthday sex.”

I shook my head and turned away as he tried to kiss me. “Any other time, yes. But I worked so hard to get ready. I don’t want to ruin it.”

He nodded slowly, his eyes trailing across my body that was covered in a somewhat skimpy royal blue halter dress with a sweetheart neckline that showed off my cleavage. My blonde hair hung in curls that framed my perfectly painted face, and he studied every feature before shaking his head and saying, “You are so fucking beautiful. Everyone is going to be so jealous of us.”

“Everyone?” I asked as I detached the pump.

“The girls are going to wish they were as hot as you. And the guys are going to wish they were with someone as hot as you,” he nodded.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” I laughed.

Alex smiled and cupped my face in his hands. “I would.”

I sprung towards him, suddenly not worried about ruining my hard work. He fell back against the bed and I was quick to straddle his waist, hoisting my dress up to my hips to allow myself a wider range of motion. We stared at each other for a moment and Alex reached up, skimming his thumb over my bottom lip. Just as I was about to plunge in for a kiss, a knock came from the front door.

“No,” Alex groaned, elongating the word before pouting dramatically.

I couldn’t lie, I was pretty bummed we were stopped too, but I slid off him and helped him up. He continued to pout as I straightened his maroon dress shirt where it had wrinkled and adjusted the sleeves that were rolled up to his elbows and brushed down his black dress pants that were tailored to look like skinny jeans. I ran my fingers through his hair and stood on my tiptoes, laying my lips against his jaw bone.

“Go let them in,” I instructed, and when I turned towards the bathroom to straighten myself up, he grabbed me by the wrist, twirling me around and catching me in a passionate kiss. It took my breath away and I gasped as he sucked gently on my bottom lip before slowly backing away.

“We will finish this later,” he said, his voice breathy.

My eyes followed him as he left the room and I blew out an exasperated breath as I hurried to the bathroom. I tousled my hair to perfection and cleaned up the lipstick that smudged from Alex’s kiss. With one final glance, I gave my reflection a nod of approval before flicking off the lights and hurried to meet my guests.

“Hey, hottie!” Jack yelled when I entered the living room.

“Hi, Jack,” I laughed as he pulled me into tight hug.

“Looking good, Whit,” Zack nodded as he gave me a one-armed hug. I barely caught a glimpse of the small strawberry blonde standing behind him. She looked about as nervous as I was.

“Hi,” I smiled warmly. “I’m Whitney.”

“Erin,” she replied sweetly. “I’m Zack’s girlfriend.”

“Thank you for coming,” I nodded, and she blushed a little as Zack’s arm slipped around her waist.

I took that as my cue to slide back to Alex’s side.

“Flying solo tonight, huh Jackie boy?” Alex teased as he moved me in front of him so I was leaning back against him, his arms resting right above my stomach and his jaw perched on my shoulder.

Jack shrugged, his arms extended to his side. “Once a bachelor, always a bachelor.”

As we were laughing at Jack’s air thrusting, another knock came from the door. I looked around the room and everyone that I knew was planning on coming was accounted for. I craned my neck to look up at Alex.

“Are more people coming?” I asked.

He shrugged, and his ever-famous mischievous grin that I’d become so familiar with spread. “I don’t know. Go check it out.”

I looked at Jack and Zack, and they were both smiling, so I knew they knew who was on the other side of the door. Erin looked just as confused as I was, and I was momentarily happy that I wasn’t alone. My curiosity took control and my feet took me to the front door, my heels clicking on the hardwood. Once I got to the door I looked through the peep hole and gasped, my eyes instantly welling up with tears.

I turned to look at Alex and I was so overcome with happiness the tears spilled out, streaking down my face. “Oh, my god,” I cried.

“Well, let her in!” Alex laughed.

I nodded and turned, unlocking the door and swinging it open.

“Happy Birthday!” Megan yelled as she collided with me.

My arms wrapped tightly around her. I’d been missing her so much and I hadn’t seen her in a little over a month. More than anything, I wanted her to be able to experience California with me, and now that she was here, I couldn’t have wished for anything else.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, laughing through my tears.

She pulled away, then glanced at Alex. “A certain someone called me and asked if I would be down with coming to your birthday celebration. So, of course, I said ‘yes’.”

“This is,” I paused, searching for words. “Unbelievable. Thank you so much for coming. Where’s Luke?”

“He couldn’t get time off with such short notice. But he sends his love,” she smiled. “Ugh, look at you. We have to fix your makeup before we go anywhere. Come.”

She started pulling me by the hand to the bathroom but I stopped for a moment, telling her I’ll be with her in a second. First, my arms slung around Alex’s neck and I kissed him long and hard.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

He smiled down at me, his eyes plunging through to my soul and all at once I felt every ounce of love I had for that man.

“Go fix your makeup. We need to get this party started,” he smiled.

After Megan worked her magic with q-tips and makeup remover, we rejoined everyone in the living room where champagne glasses were filled with bubbly alcohol. Once I briefly introduced Megan to Erin, I slid into place next to Alex and he handed me a glass.

“To the love of my life,” he smiled as he lifted his glass. “May this be your happiest birthday yet.”

“It already is,” I giggled as I looked at all my friends. “Thank you all so much for being here.”

We all clinked glasses and as we were taking sips, a car horn sounded outside, signaling that the cab had arrived to chauffeur us around the streets of Los Angeles.

“Let’s rock and roll,” Megan smiled.

As we were heading out to the cab, Jack said, “Hey, Megan! Care to be my arm candy tonight?”

“Sure,” she shrugged. “You’d be honored.”

Her retort caused Jack’s mouth to fall slack. He glanced towards Alex and me and said, “I love that woman.”

The six of us piled into the van and soon we were being dropped off outside of Avalon Hollywood. The exterior of the club looked like an old castle as it was lit up by blue and purple lights. The line to get in wrapped around the side of the building and, honestly, who knows how far it continued. Megan and I linked arms and giggled as we started our journey to the end of the line when Alex grasped us both by the shoulder. He nodded his head towards the door and I saw Jack talking to the bouncer like he knew him, and apparently, he did, since he waved us over after shaking hands with the muscle machine guarding the door.

“Jack comes with perks,” Alex smiled at us.

Megan hurried to catch up with her date for the night, smiling flirtatiously as she glided passed the bouncer.

“I’m going to have to remind her that she has a boyfriend a lot tonight,” I groaned, but smiled at Alex anyway.

He kissed my temple and I felt the breath evacuate my lungs as we entered the club. Beams of light were coming from every direction, flashing occasionally in my eyes and nearly blinding me. I could feel the loud music take control over my pulse as bass drop after bass drop filled the room. There were so many people there that we almost got separated from the rest of the group and Alex held me close as we fought through the bodies to keep up.

“Is it always this crowded?” I asked, yelling over the music and stumbling over other people’s feet.

“I don’t know,” he yelled back. “I don’t come here that often.”

After almost being knocked to the ground and having to reign Alex in as he threatened to kill the guy that tried to plow over me, we finally found our friends huddled close together around a small table. Everyone else looked almost as uncomfortable as Alex and I felt.

“Do you ladies want some drinks?” Jack yelled.

Megan was the first to nod, followed by Erin, and soon I agreed as well. We each gave our guys our order and before fighting through the crowd more, Alex shot me a cautious glance. I gave him a thumbs up to let him know I’d be ok when I was bumped into again, and the death glare he shot the innocent passerby probably really could have killed him. I waved at him to get his attention and when he finally tore his eyes away from the back of the guy’s head, I mouthed, “I’m ok.”

He nodded once and I watched as he pushed his way towards the bar.

“This place is insane,” Megan yelled.

“I was just here the other night,” Erin yelled back. “It was nothing like this.”

“Maybe because it’s a Saturday night?” I asked.

Erin shrugged. “Could be.”

We waited for the longest time for the boys to return. Our arms were linked together over the table in a desperate attempt to stay together and not lose our spot, but before long I was getting tired and frustrated from being knocked around.

“This almost isn’t worth it anymore,” I yelled as I jabbed my elbow into a greasy-haired man that rested his hand on my hip. Megan reached over and punched him right in the nose and he fell back into the sea of people, never to be seen again.

I caught a glimpse of Jack pushing his way to us with Alex and Jack following close behind him. They all looked annoyed as they handed us our drinks.

“Apparently word got out that Drake was planning on coming here tonight,” Jack yelled.

“That explains the crowd,” Megan yelled back.

I threw my head back as I desperately swallowed my shot of Fireball. Alex rested his hand on the small of my back and yelled, “You wanna go somewhere else?”

I nodded frantically.

“I’m sorry, Whit,” Jack yelled. “I didn’t think it’d be this crazy.”

“It’s fine!” I yelled back with a shake of my head. “Let’s get out of here.”

Jack led the way and the six of us joined hands to create a chain to get us out of the busy club. Once we were outside, I felt myself sigh with relief.

Zack hailed us a cab and gave directions to a bar to the driver. I snuggled closer into Alex’s side and he rubbed my shoulder as I rested my head on his.

“I’m sorry the night hasn’t gotten off to that great of a start,” he frowned.

“Are you kidding?” I asked. “I’m loving it so far.”

“Do you promise? Because I really want tonight to be special for you.”

“I promise,” I smiled, my lips lightly touching his.

“Yo, guys!” Jack said from the row of seats ahead of us. He held up his phone and when I saw the six of us on his screen, I smiled awkwardly for the picture.

We pulled up to the bar and I was pleased to see that it was nothing like the overcapacity night club we’d just escaped from. Sure, we may have been a little over dressed, but I wasn’t going to let that phase me.

“First round on me!” Jack yelled and practically sprinted towards the bar as the rest of us found a booth big enough for us to sit at.

He came back a moment later carrying a tray with eight shots of Patron. After dispersing them, I noticed I had two more than everyone else.

“Um,” I said quietly. “I think you ordered too many, Jack.”

“No, I didn’t, birthday girl,” he smiled cheekily.

I blushed and my eyes widened as I noticed everyone looking at me expectantly. I turned to Alex for some rescue, but he just shrugged, shaking his head.

“You have to drink it, babe.”

My darling Megan was the first to start chanting “Drink it”, and soon the rest of the table joined her, banging their hands on the table and getting louder and louder until I gave in and threw the first shot back. I held my breath as I downed the second one and tried to conceal my gag before swallowing the final shot. My throat was burning as they all cheered.

Alex wasn’t wrong when he said Jack had plans on getting me drunk, because two hours and a whopping ten shots and five beers later, I was near gone.

I was too excited when a karaoke jockey came in and set up. Sober Whitney knew she wasn’t much of a singer, but Drunk Whitney thought she was invincible as she dragged Megan and Erin up to the microphone with her and sang the words to “Unbreak My Heart” as loud as she could – if you want to call getting a few words in between giggles and having to catch myself from falling because of my weakening ankles in my too high heels “singing”.

The song ended and the three of us stumbled over ourselves off the stage back to the table where Jack and Zack were drunkenly cheering for us. I scanned for Alex, but he was nowhere in sight.

“Where’s my boyfran?” I slurred, gripping the table to keep myself balanced.

Erin looked over my shoulder and yelled, “Alex!” as he came back into the bar holding a grocery bag.

I turned quickly and started towards him, but after my first step I found myself on the floor, curled up in a ball, laughing uncontrollably.

“Are you ok?” he laughed as he fell to his knees in front of me.

I hadn’t been paying too much attention to how much Alex was drining, so I wasn’t sure if he was even buzzed yet. But when I saw him sway a little as he looked at me with bloodshot eyes, I smiled.

“Yay,” I cheered. “You’re drunk, too.”

“Yeah,” he laughed as he struggled to help me up. “Are you ok, though?”

“Mhm,” I nodded as I plopped down on a barstool. “Stupid heels.”

His eyes lit up as he reached into the grocery bag I’d forgotten he had.

“Here!” he said excitedly as he handed me a pair of black flip flops.

I was so drunk and overemotional that tears welled up in my eyes. “Baby.”

He smiled cheekily and pulled two more pairs out, tossing them to Megan and Erin and their eyes lit up.

“I love you, Alex!” Megan yelled as she ripped her heels off.

“I was tired of watching you three looking like baby horses learning to walk for the first time,” he laughed.

As soon as Megan could comfortably walk, she was pulling Jack back to the stage to do more karaoke. Alex gently removed my heels and replaced them with my flip flops. His hand glided halfway up my calve muscle, then back down to my ankle and he looked up at me through his thick eyelashes.

“I love you, Alex,” I grinned.

He rose to his feet and held my face in his hands. His thumb glided over my cheek and he shook his head as he said, “I love you so much.” His lips fell against mine in a sweet kiss and when he pulled away, I took a second to check on the rest of the group. Megan and Jack were trying to sing a duet while Zack and Erin made out in the booth. I concluded no one would miss us if we disappeared for a moment and grabbed Alex’s hand with a sly smile, darting for the bathroom. If I wasn’t indestructible before, I definitely was now that I could walk.

As soon as Alex shut the bathroom door behind him, I lunged myself at him, my lips connecting to his in a heated kiss. We stumbled over our own feet and I ended up sandwiched between Alex and the wall as his hands roamed my body. We parted our lips at the same time our tongues danced while my hands slid into his hair before sliding down to the first button of his shirt, my hands shaking as I tried to undo it.

Alex grabbed my hands and pinned them to the wall above me with one of his while the other slowly traced down my back where he gripped on my butt, pulling my pelvis closer to his.

“Please,” I moaned against his mouth.

His eyes were almost black with desire as he watched me while his hand crept around to my front and slowly lifted my dress. My eyes fluttered closed as he traced me through my panties.

“No,” I whined, pulling my hips back. “Fuck me.”

“I want to baby,” he groaned. “I’m just really drunk right now and it’s hard to…you know…get hard.”

In my drunken state, I burst out with laughter. Alex blushed a little and crossed his arms over his chest.

“It’s not funny,” he pouted.

“Oh, babe,” I laughed before pushing him against the other wall and cupping his crotch in my hand, gently massaging his area.

“Fuck,” he moaned, and I stretched to kiss his throat.

That was the last thing I remember before I blacked out.

Notes