Destroy Rebuild

I didn’t know that when Alex said he wanted to take me on a date that he meant later that night. I figured he was just asking for future reference, but when Jack walked in a few hours later to report for babysitting duty, I almost immediately protested.

“We can’t go tonight,” I whispered to Alex.

He looked back at me from his suitcase where he was picking out his outfit. “Why not?”

I glanced down the mini hallway into the living room, only seeing Jack’s feet as he laid on the floor, playing with Will. “It’s the first night of Will’s schedule adjustments. I don’t think we should put that off on Jack.”

“So we’ll explain what’s going on,” Alex shrugged. “He’s up for the challenge.”

“Is he?” I questioned.

Alex stood and turned to lean against the bed, his arms folded across his chest. “Do you not trust Jack to take care of our son or something?”

I rolled my eyes as I moved to lean next to him. “It’s not that. I have no doubt that he’s creative enough to survive,” I laughed. “I just don’t want it to be too hard on him.”

“He’ll be fine,” Alex smiled as he squeezed my thigh.

He went back to pulling out an outfit and I nodded slowly, still unsure if we were doing the right thing. After he got his clothes, he left me alone in the bedroom to get ready. I was told to dress nicely, but that was all the information I was given. A little flustered, I rummage through my bags to find one of the two nice outfits I’d packed in case a formal event sprung up. I decided to save the metallic blue halter dress for another time and instead pulled out my burgundy skater dress and hung it on the bathroom door.

After my shower, I put on some music as I dried by hair. Even through all the noise I could still hear Will crying, the shrill, angry sound echoing from the living room. I quickly placed the hair dryer on the counter and threw a robe over my still naked body and rushed to his rescue. Alex was slowly walking around the room with Will in his arms, trying to sooth the poor sleepy baby. He glanced up at me and before I could take a step towards him, he shook his head.

“Go finish getting ready,” he said. “I’ve got this.”

I stole a peak towards Jack, who looked like he was lost in the situation, like he didn’t know what to do.

“Whitney,” Alex demanded, adverting my attention back to him. “Please.”

A sense of uneasiness brewed in my gut, but I nodded and slowly retreated to our bedroom. Once I was back in place in front of the mirror, I turned the music up louder. If I was prohibited from helping with Will, I didn’t want to hear him being miserable.

After my hair was dry, I pulled it up into a bun to apply my makeup. Since it technically was our first date, I decided to go all out with dramatic eyes and contouring and highlighting. I’d completely transformed myself and I almost didn’t recognize who I was. Self-consciousness fell into place and I made my decision to wash everything off and try again when Alex rushed through the bedroom door.

“I just need a diaper,” he yelled over his shoulder, and when he caught my reflection looking back at him, he stopped. “Whoa.”

His expression gave no hints as to whether he approved of my look. I groaned and grabbed a rag to wash my face. “It’s too much, isn’t it,” I asked.

Alex raced to my side and he jerked the rag out of my hand. “Absolutely not. You look great.”

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, trying my hardest to see what he saw. “Promise?”
“I promise,” he laughed with a kiss to the side of my head. “Hurry up. We need to leave in an hour.”

While I waited for my curling iron to heat up, I went ahead and slid into my dress. It was a tad bit tighter and shorter than I would have liked for it to be, but I pushed the obsessive thought of losing weight out of my head. My hair soon hung in loose curls around my face and shoulders and I took another unnecessary moment to make sure my makeup was suitable. After slipping into my black heels and putting what little amount of jewelry I did have on, I put on a brave face and started to the living room.

Jack was sitting on the floor making silly faces at Will, who was surprisingly still awake and not fussy. Alex was using the reflection of the glass on the microwave to adjust his tie. I could only see the back of him, but he already looked so handsome.

“I’m ready,” I said quietly.

Jack was the first to look at me, and his mouth fell slack while a smile simultaneously started pulling at the corners. “God damn, Whit,” he chuckled.

Alex slowly turned towards me, his hands still fidgeting with his tie. His eyes connected with mine and it felt like time froze. We stared at each other in pure awe. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as I took all of him in. From his black dress shoes to his deep blue shirt decorated with a lopsided black tie and covered in a black blazer, to his slightly messy hair and his brown eyes that felt like they were piercing straight through my soul. The way he started to smile at me as he made his way closer made a warmth spread throughout my insides. He looked at me like he wanted me in all ways possible, and I looked at him like I was already his.

“Wow,” he whispered while brushing his fingers across the tips of my hair. “You look unbelievable.”

“I love you,” I whispered with a slight shake of my head.

Slowly, he made his way closer and pulled me in tight, his lips forming the perfect kiss against mine. I melted into his embrace and my fingers maneuvered their way up his chest and to the nape of his neck before sliding into his hair. He grasped my dress at my back and squeezed me closer to him and I almost made my response when we were cut off by Jack clearing his throat. I’d completely forgotten that he was there. Alex’s forehead rested against mine and he smirked before turning to Jack.

“Sorry, dude,” he laughed.

“Not to worry,” Jack shrugged. “It was only a little uncomfortable.”

I laughed nervously and had to pry my fingers out of Alex’s hair. Thankfully, he’d already explained Will’s schedule situation to Jack and informed him about how I do things with Will. Jack seemed comfortable taking care of our son, which was a relief to my ever so present anxiety about leaving the two of them alone together. After taking probably too long to say goodbye to Will, Alex led me out to the rental car.

I shouldn’t have been surprised that Alex wasn’t going to tell me where we were going until we got there, but as per usual, I was being extra pesky as I tried to fish out some information. He held his ground though, and soon he was ignoring me all together as he stayed silent. As time went on, I began to ease up and soon I was genuinely excited about our date. I stopped asking so many questions until I saw a sign on the highway that said Venice Beach was only ten miles ahead of us. I may have become a little too excited then.

“Shut up!” I squealed. “Are we going to Venice Beach?!”

Alex looked at me with a cheeky grin and shrugged, but I could tell that was where he was taking me.

“Oh, my god!” I shrieked.

“Yeah, when Megan texted me last night and told me that if I didn’t take you at least once while you were here that she would personally hunt me down and castrate me, I figured it’d be the perfect setting for our date.”

I turned towards him in my seat a little and scooped my hand under his. “This is already hands down the best date I’ve ever been on.”

“Good,” he smiled. “You deserve it. You deserve a lot of things, really, and it is my full intention to give you all of them.”

I was bouncing uncontrollably in my seat from all the excitement. I mentally thanked Megan for her empty threat towards Alex, because it’d always been a dream of mine to visit this part of the country. I felt like a kid on Christmas once we were within the city limits and I could smell the salt from the ocean as it blew in the breeze. Soon we were pulling up to Whaler Bar and Grill, and Alex helped me out of the car and into the restaurant where we were seated on the balcony that overlooked the ocean. The sun was just setting over the horizon and the pink and purple sky took my breath away.

“To us,” Alex smiled as he lifted his Jack and coke for a toast.

“To us,” I said quietly as I clinked my margarita against his glass.

“So?” he asked after a long sip. “How is everything so far.”

I giggled as I sucked some of the lime-flavored alcohol through my straw. “Magical. Truly, I never thought I’d get the chance to come here. Thank you so much.”

“Well, thank god none of your ex-boyfriends thought to fly you across the country and bring you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so excited, so I know this would be hard to top.”

“It wouldn’t feel the same if I were here with anyone else but you,” I shook my head.

He blushed a little, and it was one of the cutest things I’d ever seen. The light pink tinge that covered his cheeks and the toothless grin made my stomach flop and I had the fight he urge to jump across the table to kiss him.

Dinner went by without a hitch. The food was amazing and the conversation was light and flirty. The view of the moonlit ocean didn’t hurt anything either. As we finished eating and Alex sat at the table to wait for the bill, I hurried to the ladies’ room. I immediately felt under dressed after catching glances at the ball gowns and dresses that left little to the imagination draped over the women coming out of the bathroom. I self-consciously pulled and smoothed on my dress before returning to Alex.

He led me out of the restaurant and stopped once we were outside to brush a strand of hair out of my face.

“I talked to Jack,” he said. “Everything’s fine, Will is sound asleep. So, what now?”

“Well,” I sighed. “My ideal first date with you would start off with a lovely dinner-throw in an ocean view balcony for extra points-, maybe a moonlit walk on the beach, then laying in the sand and stargazing until we either fall asleep and have our apology to Jack ready, or we take ourselves somewhere more private.”

He nodded with risen eyebrows and extended his arm towards to beach. “After you, my lady.”

I kicked off my heels and picked them up, letting them dangle by the straps from my fingers. Alex followed suit, pulling his shoes and socks off and rolling the bottom of his pants up. He took off his jacket and took my heels from me and I watched as he threw everything in the back seat of the car. As he was walking back he rolled the sleeves of his shirt up just above his elbows and as he got closer, I made myself blush when I thought that was how I’d like for him to look when we did get married, given we do it on the beach.

Alex laced his fingers with mine and led me onto the cool sand. The only thing I could hear was the waves crashing up onto the shore and it was music to my ears. The beach had always been my happy place, and it was even more thrilling with Alex walking next to me, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb. I stared out into the darkness and felt a smile creep onto my lips.

“What are you thinking about?” Alex asked.

I shrugged and leaned into him a little. “I’m just really happy right now.”

He nodded slowly. “Is it because of where we are? Or who you’re with?”

“A mixture of both,” I smiled. “But to be honest, I’d be happy anywhere if you were there.”
He stopped walking and tugged on my hand to keep me from going onward. I looked back at him and he had a hopeful gleam in his eye when he said, “You really mean that?”

“Well of course,” I laughed as I threw my arms around his neck. “You are, after all, the father of my child,” I said before pausing to kiss his neck. “And my dream man,” I laughed as I kissed his jaw bone. “And, surprise, the love of my life.”

I heard him gasp as I kissed his lips and when I pulled away, his eyes were as big as the moon shining down on us. I loosened my grip on his neck and he seemed to fumble over words before muttering out, “I am?”

I nodded slowly, not wanting to emphasize and freak him out even more. But honestly, it was the truth. Alex really was the love of my life. No one before him had ever made me feel the way he did. I never craved any of my ex’s presence the way I craved his. I’d never become addicted to someone’s kiss the way that I needed his. My heart never felt fuller until he came along.

His response was a huge contagious grin that spread all the way to my face and he grabbed me by my cheeks and pressed his lips in a kiss to mine. I parted the kiss and slid my tongue across his bottom lip and he let out a low moan before granting me access. His hands slid down to the back of my thighs and without warning he lifted me up, my legs wrapping instinctively around his waist. I held on tight to him as he began walking again.

“Where are we going?” I asked between kisses.

He pulled his head back, a mischievous grin playing on his face. “How mad would you be if I dropped you in the ocean?”

I scoffed a little before saying, “Well, I’d eventually get over it, but – wait Alex, no!”

I tightened my arms in a vice grip around his neck as he sprinted towards the water. He kicked some up as he was running through the shallows and I screamed and laughed as the cold water splashed my bare legs. I begged and pleaded for him not to do it, but soon I found myself sitting waist deep in cold, salty water.

“You jerk,” I laughed.

He was laughing harder than I’d ever seen before, and although I was now cold and wet, I decided to deal with it for his benefit.

“I see,” I huffed playfully. “I tell you you’re the love of my life and you dump me into the ocean. Real nice, dude.”

He apologized during his laughing and helped me to my feet. As soon as I was upright and stable I lunged myself at him, hopping up and wrapping my soaked lower half around him.

“Aw, come on Whit,” he groaned. His arms were out to his sides, not supporting me at all, but I held on tight as he began walking back up the beach. He lowered himself down onto his knees and soon my back was pressed against the sand, Alex hovering over me. He didn’t kiss me, but instead stared at me with a slight smile.

“What?” I giggled, brushing some of his bangs out of his eyes.

“Nothing,” he smiled. “You’re just the love of my life, too.”

I smiled cheekily as I said, “Really?”

“Really,” he nodded. “I’ve never been so in love with someone in my whole life. No one else has ever come close to meaning as much to me as you do. Even if we didn’t have a son together, I have no doubt that I would have fallen for you somewhere down the line.”

“But didn’t you say before that if I hadn’t gotten pregnant we probably wouldn’t have ended up together?”

“I did,” he nodded. “But I knew how bad I wanted you. Eventually, I would’ve done whatever in my power to get you.”

I smiled. “So you don’t regret having a baby with me?”

“Shut the fuck up,” he groaned. “I’d never take it back. You two are the only things that keep me going sometimes, if not most of the time. I wake up every day with making you and Will happy as my top priority. I wouldn’t trade you guys in for anything. I’ve never meant these words more, but I’m so in love with you, and I want you in my life forever. Even when forever ends, you better still be there. You’re my rock. I need you to keep going.”

His words lit a fire inside of me that I’d never felt before. He was mine and I was his. Nothing or no one would be able to steal me away from him, and I would fight until my last breath to keep him. I would swim through every ocean and walk barefoot through the hottest deserts for this man. He was the sun, the moon, and the stars. He was my gravity. He was the solid ground upon which I planted my faith in. Come hell or high water, we were going to make it to forever.

Notes