Dark affairs

After I punched the sofa cushions until I was out of breath my anger had subsided a bit. I would sit on the couch watching shitty daytime TV and eat ice cream but I am too tired and I don't have ice cream. I make a mental note to always keep some in stock for occasions like this.

Luckily it's Saturday and I don't have to go anywhere. So I decide to take a shower as I'm still smelling like sex and that's not something I want to be reminded of at the moment.
I go into my bedroom and step out of yesterdays clothes and put them in the damper in my adjacent bathroom then I start the shower and look at myself in the mirror while waiting for the water to heat up.

Why am I not loveable enough? I would wish for someone to come along and simply be swept off his feet, someone who falls so utterly in love with me that there are no worries or insecurities. But instead I'm always only second best, I get dumped or replaced, somehow I never seem to be good enough.

I could brake down and blame myself, I could take out my anger on my skin, I could make them all regret what they did and said to me.
But I'm better than that, I'm stronger than that.

"Who needs guys anyway." I mumble to myself and step under the warm spray, my tense muscles immediately relaxing as I wash my body and hair thoroughly.

Once I'm done I change into pyjamas and decide to just sleep my sadness away, sounds weird but it works for me, also I didn't get much sleep last night anyways. I snuggle into my sheets and hug my pillow to my chest as I hear my phone vibrate on my bedside table.

I debate with myself for a moment if I want to know what this message is before I reach for the phone and click the screen to life.
It's a twitter notification... a tweet from Jack.
His tweet surprises me.

Jack Barakat : 'one day into this relationship and I already fucked up completely. I'm an ass!'

You see, the funny thing is, Jack often tweets the truth but the fans always take it as a joke. That way he can send open messages to people who know him.
I have to smile at that, maybe I was being over dramatic, the fact that he mentions our relationship publicly means a lot to me.

I throw the phone onto the bed and lay back and soon fall asleep.

I wake up to someone laying in bed with me and planting little kisses on my arms, I jump about a mile in shock. I turn around holding my hand over my racing heart.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Alex ?" I hiss having momentarily lost my voice from fright.

"I have found the spare key you keep under your doormat," he answers simply "and I knew Jack would be playing football with the boys."

"I mean what are you doing in my bed Gaskarth!" I demand sitting up crossing my arms in front of my chest because I somewhat feel exposed with just the little singlet I'm wearing.

"No. Please. I swear I will not try anything, just lay with me please." He begs, cautiously holding my arms as if he's afraid I would lash out at him. He slowly pulls me down until we're laying side by side then he pulls himself close so that we're spooning, his arms snake around my waist and I hear him sigh.

"Please, let me just hold you," he mumbles into my bare shoulder, his lips lightly brushing my skin. "I'm craving human interaction, like skin on skin. I don't know how you do it but when I'm with you my fears are dropping, my thoughts are stopping and I'm just me."

I furrow my brows at that.

"Are you creating new lyrics here?" I ask suspiciously.

I hear a light chuckle, "maybe I'm writing songs about you," he whispers.

We then lie in silence and I can feel him drifting off to sleep as his grip on me slowly loosens and his breathing evens out.

Honestly, how could I deny him this, how could I deny him anything when I have never seen this side of him before, vulnerable, honest and innocent is something that is so not Alex Gaskarth that I wonder what's going on with him.
But then it occurs to me that he probably told his wife he would be at the football game as well to be able to come here and I'm not so sure about his honesty any longer.

Anyway his warm presence lulls me back to sleep and when I awake hours later he is gone.
Was it only a dream I had or was he really here? I grab my phone to see what time it is and notice two new text messages.

From Alex the JERK : I had to leave, already missing you, x - A.

From Jay Jay ❤: Mickey, I'm sorry. Can I please come over tomorrow morning? xoxo - J.

I open Jacks contact.
To Jay Jay ❤: sure idiot, bring coffee, xx - M.

I feel no need to answer Alex's text. I wouldn't know what to say anyway.

While holding onto the phone I swing my legs out to the side of the bed and get up. "Lets see what we're gonna have for dinner tonight. Chinese or Pizza?" I talk to myself as I walk into the kitchen to study the take-away menus that are pinned all over the fridge.

"Uhm, I think it's gonna be Vietnamese for a change."
My finger slides down the different options on the card.
"Nom hua chuoi, I have no idea what that is but it looks amazing on the photo. Nom Hua Chuoi it is then!"

With that I type in the restaurant's number to order my first meal of the day.

Notes

Sadly this story does not get a lot of attention, I wonder if it is the summary I put up?
Anyway it is super hot in Australia at the moment and I can't imagine it being snowy and cold in a lot of parts of the world atm.
So who else thinks Alex is behaving very weirdly? And what is Jack gonna say tomorrow?