Next thing I know, the sun sends its rays through the window, slithered by the half closed blinds and then I notice I'm firmly tucked into Jack's side with his arm around my shoulders and his warm hand resting on my bare back.
My head lies on his chest but when I look straight ahead I see Alex almost mirroring me on Jack's other side. It all comes back to me now and I quickly squeeze my eyes shut hoping to fall back asleep and that everything will be gone when I wake up again. I hear a low chuckle from above me and Jack whispers, "Mickey, don't pretend to be asleep, I know you're awake, do you not remember what happened?"

I silently groan and shake my head keeping my eyes screwed shut, "that's the problem, I remember exactly what happened. Every. Fucking. Thing! I feel mortified, Jack," I end in a whine. I'm so embarrassed, it's unreal!
"Don't be, baby. It was the hottest thing. Like, the best birthday I ever had. Unbelievable! You are so gorgeous and I love you." He mumbles into my hair and kisses the top of my head. I don't need to see him to know he wears the widest grin and it eases my nerves a bit to hear he feels good about it. I'm not gonna lie, it was amazing sex last night but I feel like a complete whore for doing it with two guys at the same time. Call me old fashioned but what happened is really hard to stomach for me.
Somebody takes my hand that had rested on Jack's belly and I peek through half lidded eyes to see Alex smiling warmly at me.
"Babe, please don't ever feel uncomfortable, this was a mind blowing experience and I'm so grateful that you let me take part in this, I love you both so much, thank you." He breathes and pulls my hand to his lips kissing it while staring into my eyes, lovingly.

Even after the encouraging words from the guys I would still rather stay in bed and pretend the world outside doesn't exist. I am not sure if I can face all the people today feeling that what I did last night is written on my face for everyone to see.
As if the guys have sensed my reluctance to get up we just stay under the covers for a little longer and it's not sexual but rather sweet and innocent cuddling. We speak to each other in soft and low voices, praising and teasing and joking but always in a kind and caring manner as if our hearts were filled with love for each other, cautious to not accidentally hurt the ones you care about.
I realise it's the boys way of making me feel safe as they want to ensure I don't feel bad about what we did and ease my worries.
So after a couple of hours of just lazing around in bed I reluctantly get up and take a shower, alone.
When I'm done and have washed away all reminders of last night, well not all. The bathroom mirror revealed how my torso was littered with love bites that I had not noticed getting.
But I felt better, dressed in clean clothes and ready to face the day.

I sat in Jack's living room on the couch with the tv playing in the background waiting for the guys to get ready too as we wanted to go out for food, considering it was already 2pm it was most likely to get lunch.
Alex came in half an hour later with wet hair and wearing a change of clothes from Jack's closet.
He sat beside me quietly and put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close.
"Feeling better?" He mumbled his face pressed to the side of my head. I nod without taking my eyes off the screen and he places little kisses to my temple. Rubbing my arm and then leaning his head against mine with a content sigh as he joins me watching some program.
We sit there in silence for the next half hour while I relax more into his side and just enjoy his warmth and closeness and try to stop overthinking everything.
Jack rushes in all clean and styled, yelling, "lets go! I'm starving!" We get up as he grabs his car keys and wallet.
When I stand beside him he grabs my hand pulling me close and kissing my nose grinning. "Come on munchkin, smile, it's my birthday and I love you!" I giggle and let myself fall against him to snuggle under his arm. I know I am very cuddly today but I kind of need this physical assurance that we are okay.

We have so much fun at the restaurant the boys are giddy and ridiculous, in high spirits and it's contagious, I'm tearing up sometimes because I laugh so hard.
And then it dawns on me: this is right, all the jealousy and insecurity all those misunderstandings and arguments are invalid now because we are in this together. We shared each other on the most intimate level and it was because of adoration and not egoistic want. I can't help a wide smile surfacing on my face as I watch them goof around and I suddenly blurt out, "oh my god, I love you so much." Which has them freeze in the middle of their play fight and their heads snap towards me.
They start grinning manically and jump on me tackling me to the ground in the middle of the restaurant and I can hear some of the other patrons gasp, they probably think I'm getting assaulted but then they lift me up together and I am squeezed into a bone crushing hug as each lunatic kisses one of my cheeks, screaming, "we love you too, Mickey, so much"

After that we are kindly asked to leave the restaurant and never come back again but we're finished anyways so we just laugh it off.

Notes

Yup