Dark affairs

And of course because that's just how I roll I start to plan the whole week immediately.

Monday. Girls night. Okay I start to ring up my girl squad. Yes, I am this kind of person, when I get a new boyfriend I totally abandon my old friends only to come crawling back months later when we had our first fight or have broken up already. My friends are kind enough to not pretend I don't exist after I have fallen of the face of the earth for months and take me back with open arms.

I am so lucky to have them.
A few group messages later and we're all set for an incredible girls reunion night out.

Tuesday. Definitely Gym Night. I haven't been for ages, I don't even know why I keep paying them every month but my gym is full of ripped male trainers that are more than eager to show you how you work out correctly, preferably whilst touching all the zones on your body that the training will go to. I'm not keen on that when I have a boyfriend but as the guys said so themselves I'm supposed to do fun things and also I need to lose this ice cream pudge.

Wednesday. Morning run with Max. Lunch date with my sister. Movie night with an old college friend of mine. Yeah, I was going through my old yearbook, so what!

Thursday. Morning run with Max again. Happy hour drinks with the guys from work. Gym Night? I will probably be too drunk but hey, maybe that's fun too.

Friday. Beauty Day. Hairdresser. Facial. Waxing. Eyebrows and lashes tint.

The anticipation about all of these fun events alone made me feel so much better already.
I gnawed at the end of my pencil, now the weekend...

Saturday. Shopping. I don't need anything but when does that stop you from buying something, never! Right? Afternoon. Gym Gym Gym. Evening. Going clubbing with..blank. Well we will insert a name later.

Sunday. Sleeping. This week seemed exhausting enough. I think by the end of it I will need some rest and time to make the plan for the next week.

Done. Awesome!

I look at the time and realise I have to leave work, take Max on a walk and get ready for the girls or I'll be late.

.......


"So Michelle, tell us, what's the trouble with the new man?" My best friend Monica asks once our initial catch-up is over.

I try and feign ignorance. "What do you mean, it's all good."

Her unamused face and the disapproving looks from Jen and Trisha leave me no choice than to confess.

"He has left to tour with his band for six weeks." I mumble looking into my glass sadly.

Monica sighs. "Oh, no, you're dating a band guy again. I mean I realise you work in the music industry but you know how I feel about you dating those band dudes. They are all a bunch of cheaters and players. Constantly surrounded by fangirls and unable to keep their dicks in their pants. That is not boyfriend material. Mickey you're at an age where you need to start looking for something stable, maybe settle down soon and actually build a life with one person." The other two nod in unison.

I look at my friends, I love them but they are very conservative when it comes to life goals. All of them are in long term relationships aiming on getting married and starting a family soon.

What will happen to our group once they are all housewives and mothers and I'm the only one that can't even keep a boyfriend?

God forbid I tell them about our polyamory deal, they would think I'm the spawn of satan and tell me that my soul is completely lost for ever.

So I smile and pat Monica's hand reassuringly. "This one is different, I promise. Let's get another round, shall we?"


........


Jack calls me the next day when I'm at the gym. I answer the call but keep on running on the treadmill. "Hey Jay." I say completely out of breath.

"What's up with you? are you having sex?" Of course that's all he ever thinks about.

I roll my eyes. "No, dumbass, I'm at the gym currently doing a 3 miles run." I puff.

"YOU go to the gym?" He sounds surprised.

"Yes, I had a membership for the last 3 years. You're not telling me I look fat, are you?" I snap.

"No! No not at all, I uhm, I didn't think you needed to work out." He mumbles.

"Ha, bitch, you don't get that body for free. " I joke in between breaths.

"Mickey, last minute is up, come on. Go! Go! Go!" My trainer yells, trying to push me to my limit."

"Who is that?" Jack asks sounding annoyed.

"One of the trainers here, I can't remember his name but he looks exactly like Barbies' Ken." I giggle but start coughing right after.

"Okay, wait a moment I'm almost there." I put Jack on hold to sprint the last 30 seconds and then I'm done and the machine slows down to cool down speed and I'm walking holding my aching sides. I'm gonna be so dead tomorrow!

I put Jack back on. "Okay, I'm back baby." I slowly get more air to actually talk." How was your day?"

"Same old same old. I didn't know you were into muscular dudes." I can practically hear him pouting.

"Awww, Jacky, you know I love your lanky mess, it's not my fault they have all this bulky guys working here." I soothe him. "Hey, Ken," I yell at the trainer "I have a boyfriend" he looks at me as if I'm completely insane and walks away shaking his head.

I hear Jack cracking up on the other side. "So glad to see you're feeling better." He giggles.
"What have you been doing yesterday?" He continues.

"Oh after our phone call you mean, I cried for a bit then realised although Alex is a mean asshole he is probably right, then I planned activities for the rest of the week and went out drinking with my girls."

"You have friends? " Jack muses.

"There's obviously a lot you don't know about me and yes, I do have friends and for your information, they don't approve of you." I shake my head, he is just incredible.

"What! What did I do?" Jack asks worriedly.

"It's not you personally, it's the fact you're a guy in a band, that's what they don't like. They said you guys are all players but I assured them that you are different, so don't make me a liar." I am cooled now and get off the machine drying my face with a towel.

"Hey wait I put Alex on." Jack announces while I hear yelling in the background.

"Sorry babe but I have to finish my routine. I have no time to chat." I cut him off quickly.

Alex has been an ass and I want to leave him hanging for a while to get back at him. "Talk to you tomorrow, love you bye baby." I end the call without waiting for Jacks reply.

The week goes on great. It is amazing how much free time you have when you're not having a boyfriend but are also not looking for one.

My apartment is cleaned, all my clothes are washed and ironed, I have cooked a healthy meal every night of the week and still had time for all my planned events.

There were a few hiccups though, like when Jack called while I was out with the boys from work, they thought it would be funny to talk shit which made Jack very jealous and possessive.

And the fact that I ended up going clubbing on my own nearly send him into hysterics, claiming I couldn't look after myself and were prone to getting raped on my way home.

I still avoided talking to Alex and I could tell that it was pissing him off big time.

Sunday rolls around and I finally have time to Skype the boys.

I try calling them and the call gets accepted on the second ring by an unamused Alex.
"Ah, Mickey, do you finally grace us with your presence or are you already on your way to another appointment?" He asks with a sour look crossing his arms in front of his chest leaning back onto the wall of his bunk.

"No! no, Alex, don't give me that pissy attitude, YOU told me I would have to suck it up and practically called me clingy and stupid, so I have been changing that and now you're still not happy. Make up your mind! What do you want?" I glare at him.

His head snaps up at the last question. He comes close to the screen. "I want for you to not ignore me any longer, I would want to have you here and be able to hold and kiss you, I would want to fall asleep and wake up with you beside me. But that's not gonna happen. I didn't lie when I said that as soon as I'm around you my fears disappear. You have no idea how hard it is to think you don't want me any more. I'm sorry I was being so brusque to you, I didn't mean it but please stop avoiding me, it's honestly killing me here." He ends in a shaky voice, hanging his head low and staring at the floor.

I gulp, I wanted to hurt him like he had hurt me but knowing I succeeded doesn't feel as good as I thought. Actually I feel like shit.

"Alex," my voice is small but he looks up immediately. "I'm sorry, yes I was mad at you but I didn't realise I hurt you that bad. Don't ever think I don't want you, you know I love you, too."

He nods with a tiny sad smile on his lips.
"You see Mickey, touring is fun and I love it but we somewhat live in a bubble here, we drive from town to town always with the same bunch of people, doing the same thing every night, it feels like you're disconnected from everything that's going on out there. That's why it is so important to hear from the people you love and know that they will still be there when you get to go home." He stops and shakes his head as if he has said too much already.

"I know, Alex. Don't worry, I'll be there."

Notes

Love you gurls! Have an awesome day, wherever you go! xx