Mickey’s POV:

I had driven to Alex’s house many times before, but I definitely hadn’t done it in such a hurry before. Usually, there wasn’t a specific time for me to show up. If there was, then I could still show up fashionably late about an hour later. This time, however, fashionably late would have been fifteen minutes late. Not thirty minutes like I was. We were supposed to be taking prom pictures with the entire group. We needed time for that, and here I was showing up way later than I was supposed to. My worry wasn’t that I’d miss the pictures, I didn’t really care about that. I just didn’t want them to leave without me.

I would have gotten dressed up for no reason and only embarrassed myself.

Driving barefoot is just as strange as it sounds. I breaked pretty rapidly and suddenly as I approached Alex’s house and parked across the street. Everybody was standing outside and I was more than relieved that they hadn’t left yet. I quickly pulled my keys out of the ignition and opened up my car door. There was a buzz of chatter, and I almost jumped out. Luckily, I caught myself and slipped on my heels just before I hit the ground.

I locked my car and threw my keys in the purse my mom had given me before walking up to the group. They were all talking to each other, not really taking any notice of me. But then Alex appeared out of the group. He pushed past everybody to be the first person to greet me.

“Oh, thank fuck!” He practically exclaimed and hugged me before realising what he was doing and releasing me immediately.

“Mickey!” Jack’s voice echoed from the houses around us. “You’re here!”

My eyes went wide when I saw him. He looked insane, and not in a good way. I could not believe I was actually a little bit excited to get to spend some time with him and Rian right now. This was mad. I did not want to be around Jack in a fucking white suit. That wasn’t the kind of fun I wanted.

“I’m so sorry,” I apologised, running my fingers through my curled hair so I got the part on the other side, “I promise I was finished on time. But my family would not stop requesting pictures.”

“Everybody thought you weren’t coming anymore.” Alex pouted. “But I still had hope!”

“He wouldn’t even let us take any pictures without you,” Jack escalated. “Not a single one!”

“That’s stupid! I’m fucking late, you’re not going to get them all in now,” I shook my head in disappointment.

Alex pretended that he didn’t hear me and pulled out a small plastic box from behind his back. “I got you something, I hope you don’t mind.”

I looked as he opened it and saw a small collection of very light peach-coloured roses. Although I had never dreamed of my prom and what it would be like, not even when I was a little girl, I knew exactly what it was. It was a corsage. All the other girls were wearing one as well, given by their own respective boyfriends and dates.

“Thank you,” I smiled genuinely. I hadn’t asked for one, but it felt nice that he had thought about it.

He grinned back, happy that my response was positive and pulled out the corsage. I held my hand out for him, letting him wrap the white ribbon around my wrist. He tied a bow so delicately, careful not to hurt me by making it too tight. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t stop smiling.

In return, I took the pin out of the box and took a step closer to him. I felt strange being so close to him. I could feel his body heat that had once been so comforting. He looked down at me as I stuck the pin into his suit’s jacket, taking caution not to stab him. Once it was in and clasped back shut, I worked on straightening out the fabric.

“I hope your boyfriend doesn’t mind you’re going to prom with me,” Alex whispered, his breath cascading hot against my cheek.

“Boyfriend?” I looked up at him in confusion, my hands still on his chest.

“Oh…” he frowned, seemingly already regretting what he asked me. “I saw you with some guy at the mall. I just assumed…”

I knew exactly who he was talking about. I let my hands drop. “No, gross, I would never even think about dating him. We were just out buying shoes. Turns out I didn’t actually own any shoes appropriate for prom. Who would’ve guessed?”

Alex responded with a breathy chuckle. “Right. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have–”

“It’s okay,” I told him. I couldn’t be mad at him. If I had found out he had asked another girl to prom, I probably would have thought exactly the same.

We went to join the others and Alex spoke up again, “just one question. Why did you decide to dye your hair brown? I thought you preferred bright colours?”

“It just felt right.” I shrugged softly.

“That’s all it takes,” he agreed.

Jack had left us alone for a few moments, but decided to jump in again, ruining this feeling I had brewing inside of me. “You’re going to come back with us to Alex’s afterparty, right?”

“Umm…” I looked at Alex, not sure how to answer. I knew nothing about a party and didn’t want to intrude, although I also didn’t particularly like the idea of Alex being drunk by himself around other girls.

“I was just about to ask if you wanted to come.” Alex gave me a twitch of his lips.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. It was one thing to go to prom with him, but to actually go back with him as well? Maybe it wasn’t the smartest idea. “Yeah, of course, definitely.”

We were all called in by Alex’s parents and some other parents that I did not recognise to take pictures. It was extremely uncomfortable. They had us standing in all these weird poses. Lined up outside or on the stairs, dates next to each other. It wasn’t something I would have agreed to doing if it had been any other day. I just pushed through and endured. I figured that if I still cringed at the idea years later, I would never have to look at the photos again. But if I looked back at the memory fondly, then I wouldn’t have beaten myself up for not taking the pictures.

Luckily, showing up late also meant that I didn’t have to put on a stupid flashy smile for any longer than necessary and didn’t have to feel Alex’s hand on my waist anymore. Although it felt so natural, I constantly wanted to cower away. It felt so wrong trying to be friends with him again. I was in such a conflicted state of mind.

Once we left the house to go to school, where the prom was being held, I found out that our mode of transportation was a tour bus. It was like a big blow to my heart, reminding me of why I broke up with Alex in the first place. I was so happy for him, he got to go out and live his dream, but not telling me was so fucked up. I left him because he thought my entire world revolved around him and I was already letting him back into my life, practically proving him right.

As I went up those steps, I realised how big of a mistake I made. I should have never let Alex talk me into tolerating him and becoming friends again. Yet, I went against all my feelings and got on that bus.

I’ll be honest. Prom was… pretty disappointing really. I didn’t even have any expectations. Literally, it was a last minute thing. But it was still very disappointing. They played mediocre music, couples were all over each other, and there was no alcohol to make it bearable. I fully understood why Alex was throwing an afterparty.

I had somehow managed to avoid dancing with Alex during the entire prom. Sometimes he’d make eye contact with me and start towards me. I knew that he’d ask me to dance. Before he could come close to me, I’d jump into another group and dance with them instead. Usually, that group consisted of Jack and a few other people. But, of course that didn’t work for the slow dances. There was nobody to hide behind. I just stood to the side, awkwardly watching all the couples embracing each other.

“Can I have this dance?” Alex asked me as he walked up to me, holding his hand out.

I looked uncomfortably at his hand. “I dunno…”

“We haven’t danced together at all,” he tried to reason as if I hadn’t been doing it on purpose, “come on.”

“I don’t think–”

“Mickey…” he interrupted and challenged, wiggling his fingers a little. “It’s just one dance.”

I sighed and reluctantly took his hand. “Fine.”

He led me to the dance floor and put my hand on his shoulder before putting his own on my waist. I put my other hand up as well, but did my best to look anywhere but at him. I didn’t want to give him a false sense of permission. We had broken up, and that was how it was going to be. I couldn’t be with somebody who was so self-absorbed.

“You know, you look amazing,” Alex whispered, his eyes on me ever since we started dancing.

Just hearing his voice made me look back at him. I shook my head. “You can’t say that.”

“It’s the truth.” He shrugged as if it meant nothing. His eyes said otherwise though.

“Alex…” I breathed out. “We are over, nothing’s going to change that.”

“I know,” he nodded and gave me a careful smile. “I’d tell anybody they look good. If I had been dancing with Jack, I would have told him the same.”

“No, you wouldn’t have.”

“Yes, I would have.”

“Have you seen Jack?” I looked in Jack’s direction who was dancing with his date. “He looks like some fucking marshmallow.”

“You aren’t wrong,” he took a quick glance and laughed before looking at me again. “Honestly, though, you do look good.”

I couldn’t avoid Alex after that anymore. It was still easy to be surrounded by others, meaning I wasn’t left alone with him anymore. But that got more and more difficult at the afterparty. Drinks were constantly poured, some people started leaving, others started playing games. The alcohol was making me forgetful, taking the constant reminder of staying away from Alex and throwing it into my mental bin. Somehow, I ended up making out with him in the hallway, scrambling to get up to his room. I was way too drunk to think about it rationally.

I woke up with a splitting headache and arms wrapped around my body. Although the night before was a blur, I knew exactly where I was. Dread filled my entire core, and I knew I had to get out of there. There was no question that I had still managed to fuck up so badly despite trying my best not to let myself go there. I didn’t even need a second to wake up, the panic had done that for me already.

I immediately rushed out of the bed, going right for my underwear on the floor.

“Mickey?” Alex grumbled with sleep, obviously not as distraught about everything that happened.

I ignored him and pulled on my dress, only picking up my heels because there was no way I would be wearing them.

“Hey,” he said in that stupid soft voice of his that could force me to be swayed.

This time, I wasn’t going to let him pull me in again. “This shouldn’t have happened.”

“It’s not that–”

“No. Fuck you,” I seethed and stormed out of his room, slamming the door shut.

My knuckles were white from clutching the steering wheel as I drove home. I had to do everything in me not to scream and punch a dent in my car. How could Alex have taken advantage of the situation like that? All that talk about it not meaning anything, that it was all just because it was what friends do was complete and utter bullshit. How dare he?

And how the fuck did I let this happen?

I couldn’t restrain myself enough when I got home and let the door fall shut behind me just a little too loud. I was a mess. The curls in my hair had tangled and fallen out, my dress wasn’t even zipped up, and my makeup was not in place anymore. It truly was the walk of shame. And boy, did I feel shame.

“Mickey?” A male voice called out of the kitchen. “How was–”

I cut him off by running up to him and hugging him tightly, breaking down.

Notes

Mickey seems to be very conflicted....
One more chapter, guys.