Mickey’s POV:

I never particularly liked holidays. Christmas was cold, New Year’s Eve was just the start of another year, Halloween was an excuse to get drunk, my birthday was always a shitfest, and Valentine’s day just didn’t exist in my book. The 14th of February had never meant anything to me. Granted, I had never been in a proper relationship before, but even now it wasn’t a day of any significance.

It didn’t make sense how people thought a day like this was necessary. Really, all it did was create unrealistic expectations. Everybody would just spend a ridiculous amount of money to prove that their love was valid. And then, as soon as their significant other didn’t make the grandest of romantic gestures, they’d get upset and find a reason why their relationship was a scam. No, it was just Valentine’s day that was a scam.

I made it very clear to Alex that I didn’t want him to do anything.

He didn’t really like the idea of doing nothing, but I managed to convince him. At first, he tried to compromise. He said he wouldn’t do anything, as long as he got to take me out to dinner. I refused. Then he tried to play it off as just something he wanted to do regardless of whether it was Valentine’s day or not. It was the biggest bullshit I had heard. We never went out for dinner. It just wasn’t something we did. Eventually, Alex gave in and said he wouldn’t do anything.

So, that Valentine’s day, I was hanging out on my bed by myself with my music blasting and a sketchbook on my lap. It was just a normal Tuesday afternoon. Well, this was a normal Tuesday afternoon to me now. There was no mischief to get into and I didn’t have a shift at Rita’s even though Jack tried to get me to cover for him. You can bet your ass that I didn’t agree to that. I had taken way too many of his shifts before.

You see, the reason why Jack asked me to take his shift this time was because he had some record label meeting to go to with the others. The boys had been trying to get signed for a while now. They literally did everything to get recognised. They played shows frequently, growing a fanbase, and they contacted as many record labels as possible. The last thing I heard was that some representative came to a show, but they never heard anything back. And now, they were at some meeting with another label. I was quite out of the loop despite the fact that Alex used to tell me a lot.

So, while Alex was out trying to chase his dreams, I was just chilling on bed. I didn’t really have a dream. I always just assumed that I was going to drop out and become a stripper or something to live a life full of drugs and alcohol. But now I was so close to graduating, I had applied to universities and colleges, and I even had the possibility of doing a tattoo apprenticeship. Some guy once came into Rita’s and told me he liked the tattoos on my arms before asking where I got them. Once I told him I designed them myself and got them done in several places, he gave me his card. It was a legit place and a legit offer.

But I still didn’t know what I wanted to do.

My hair was still purple and my dad was still at the hospital. I stayed with Alex for a while, which is where I found out about the meeting. He wasn’t the one that told me. His mom just casually brought it up trying to figure out the logistics while we were in the kitchen one morning. I didn’t get to hear much, but at least I knew it was happening.

I was back at home now though. Despite my dad still being in the hospital, my mom now came back home as well since he was doing much better. The door in their bathroom had been replaced and there was this constant sense of being on guard. But Devon was locked up in jail. He wasn’t coming back any time soon. I wasn’t afraid to be home alone. Usually I’d go to the hospital after school and bring my mom back home with me, but she was staying that evening. It was Valentine’s day after all.

My CD was coming to an end when the doorbell rang. I huffed out a breath and put my sketchbook and pen to the side. When my eyes landed on the clock flashing six in the evening, I got even more annoyed. Something in me wouldn’t put it past Alex to decide to take me out for dinner anyway as a ‘surprise’. I seriously did not want to go out. My hair was already up in a messy bun and I wasn’t going to switch out of my t-shirt and black ripped jeans. It just wasn’t happening.

But even if it was Alex, I couldn’t just leave him standing outside.

So, up I got. Begrudgingly, might I add. I walked downstairs, ready to tell Alex that I really wasn’t up for a Valentine’s date, that he could take Jack or something. However, once I opened the front door, it wasn’t Alex trying to get my attention. It was Rian.

“Oh.” I was actually shocked to see that it wasn’t Alex.

“Well you seem disappointed to see me.” Rian crossed his arms and let out a heavy breath.

“No, I just didn’t expect you.” I shrugged and leaned against the door. For some reason he was here instead of with his girlfriend on this beautiful Valentine’s day.

He raised an eyebrow. “Expecting somebody else?”

“No…” I mumbled and eyed him. I missed awkward Rian who wouldn’t act like he could challenge everything I said.

“Great, I’m lower than your non-existent expectations,” he rolled his eyes.

“Are you here to complain or are you actually here for a reason?” I pushed. It was good that Rian was standing up for himself, but I really missed the time when anything I said would get him to shut up.

Suddenly, he lit up, remembering why he came here in the first place. “Yeah! I just wanted to talk. You know, since you’ve been giving me advice and shit. I just came back from the meeting with Hopeless.”

“Hopeless?” I inquired. Was he trying to say that the meeting went bad and that he thought the band was hopeless? I was not up for giving him another pep talk. I had said all that I could. If he wanted to mope again, then I couldn’t do anything about it.

“Hopeless Records,” he clarified with excitement, “the record label!”

“Oh!” I nodded, sensing that things went well. “How did the meeting go?”

“Great!” He grinned and started to tell me all about it. “We went in, they were excited to see us, we signed the contract–”

I interrupted in confusion, “contract?”

“Yeah, the record deal,” he explained like I was already supposed to know about it. “Anyway–”

“Hang on, hang on,” I stopped him to backtrack a little, “record deal? Already?”

He just chuckled awkwardly. “We’ve been in contact with them for a bit. The whole reason we were having a meeting was to sign the record deal.”

“Huh.”

“Didn’t you know?” His eyes widened when he realised what was going on and he took a step back.

“No…” I shook my head, wondering what the fuck was going on with Alex not telling me anything. “I only found out about this meeting through Alex's mom.”

“He must’ve told you. He couldn’t wait to tell you when they first expressed interest a few weeks ago!”

I tried to think back over the past few weeks to see if Alex had told me and I had just forgotten or not listened properly. But I couldn’t recall a moment where he tried to tell me something like this. He had mainly just been silent when we were on his bed and he rarely spoke about anything other than things that happened at school during dinner with his parents. All this time, he had been keeping it from me.

I frowned and grabbed my keys from the small dresser at our door. “Alright, where is he now?”

“Ummm…”

“Calm down, I just want to congratulate him,” I sighed and pushed Rian away from the door so I could step out myself. “By the way, congrats.”

“Thanks!” Rian smiled, stepping away himself so I could close and lock the front door without needing to force him away. “Aren’t you going to see him today? It’s Valentine’s day.”

“Nope, I told him I didn’t want anything to do with this shitty holiday,” I told him before unlocking my car, still waiting for an answer.

“Oh, well, he’s at Jack’s right now.”

“Okay, great, thanks.” I opened my front door but stopped myself and turned to Rian one last time. “And, Ri, you made the right decision. You’re not going to regret it. You’re a good drummer.”

“Thanks, Mickey.” He beamed.

“No problem,” I mumbled and got into my car before driving away.

I was confused during the entire journey over to Jack’s. I felt like I had done something wrong. The whole time, I was trying to relive every moment I had had with Alex. Part of me thought he never even mentioned a record label reaching out, but another part of me was worried that I had completely neglected him when he did tell me. I had been pretty preoccupied with my own thoughts.

When I approached Jack’s house, I saw Alex’s car out on the driveway. I parked my own car on the street and rang the doorbell soon after. It took a bit for somebody to show up, but eventually Jack’s mom opened the door.

“Hey, Mrs. Barakat,” I started with what I hoped was a smile, “is Alex here?”

“Yeah, he’s upstairs with Jack,” she answered. “Would you like to come in?”

“Oh, umm,” I rubbed the back of my neck in uncertainty, “actually, I can’t stay long. Maybe he can come out here? I just need to talk to him for a second.”

“Okay,” she agreed and went back inside and to the stairs. “Jack! Send Alex down, Mickey’s here for him!”

After a few seconds, footsteps came thundering down the stairs. Alex came up to me, a little puzzled by the fact that I came all the way to Jack’s just to see him. Joyce gave us some privacy and closed the door, only leaving it ajar so Alex could come back in later.

Alex’s first instinct was lightly touch my hips and kiss me tenderly. “Happy Valentine’s day.”

When he pulled away, I gave him a look to remind him what I had said about this day. “That’s not why I’m here.”

“Alright,” he removed his hands from my body and stuffed them in his front pockets instead, “what’s up?”

I was a little upset that he decided to take a step away from me, but it was probably for the best in the end. “I just wanted to say congrats.”

“Oh.” He nodded, a little shocked that those words came out of my mouth.

“Yeah, you know… on the record deal and stuff…” I added awkwardly, feeling that vibe coming from Alex.

“Thanks,” he gave me a lop-sided grin.

“It seems… exciting…?” I cringed at my own words and let out a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I’m bad at being supportive.”

“No, it’s okay,” he quickly told me, his own mask of awkwardness melting away, “it’s the thought that counts.”

With that confirmation I put my hands on his cheeks and pressed a kiss to his lips. I wasn’t too great with words, but I could do this just fine. Alex kissed me back and returned his touch to my body, this time to the small of my back. He pulled me closer and the kiss deepened. I dropped my own hands to his shoulders for better support. I really felt bad for Joyce and Jack that we were making out on their front lawn. But, honestly, it was their problem if they were watching us.

When I felt Alex’s hand slowly travel down to my ass, I pulled away carefully.

“Just one thing…” I whispered, looking down at his chest. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t going insane. “Why didn’t I know anything about this?”

He paused for a second, looking over me and into the distance. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, why did I have to find out you got a record deal from Rian?” I looked up at him. Something told me it wasn’t just me being forgetful. “Why didn’t I know that somebody was willing to sign you?”

“You knew about the meeting,” he shrugged like I was supposed to know.

“Only after your mom casually mentioned it in conversation.” I wasn’t so sure if I wanted to be in this embrace anymore. “I didn’t know you were actually signing a contract today. I wasn’t told anything.”

“I didn’t think you wanted to know.”

“Didn’t think I wanted to know?” I repeated with a frown, dropping my hands to my side. Alex still held on to me, though. “Alex, I drove you around on your tour, I’ve been to every single one of your shows since we got together, I’ve talked to record label representatives at those shows to convince them that they should sign you. I know I’m not the most expressive person, but don’t act like I wasn’t there and wasn’t interested.”

“I know, I know…” he sighed and tried to bring me closer.

I refused to move and take that step, though. “So, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because…” he looked down at our feet and finally let go of me. “Because you were busy with your dad and I didn’t want to push myself in there.”

“Since when don’t you push yourself into my life? I could have used some good news, you know how bad I felt.”

He took in a deep breath and decided to go on the defense. “You were upset about your dad and stressed about universities. I didn’t want to add more stress to that!”

“How would your record deal stress me out?” I crossed my arms. We were fighting and there was no way to back out now. I wasn’t going to let Alex win this one, he was in the wrong for not telling me.

He stared back at me. “I mean… I didn’t want you stressing about our future as well. You are so unsure about everything, I didn’t want you to worry about us.”

“Our future?” I glared at him. Was he being serious right now?

“Yeah, I wanted you to figure out your shit before you considered what I was going to do.”

“The fuck, Alex?!”’ I shouted. “Really?!”

He raised his voice back at me. “I was just trying to make things easier!”

“You’re such a fucking narcissist! You think my life revolves around you. You’ve gotta check yourself.”

“I just wanted to make sure you put yourself ahead of me and not follow me out somewhere.” He still thought that what he had done was right. “I was doing it for you!”

I didn’t even care that he hadn’t told me about the record deal anymore. This was so much bigger than that. “Fucking hell. You think I would base my life decisions around you?! I don’t give a shit where you go and what you do. I do things for myself, not for somebody else.”

“That’s exactly what you should do. I just didn’t want to be a subconscious factor.”

“No. Don’t act like you fucking did the right thing. I already know where I’m going to go and what I’m going to do. I don’t care if you stay on the east coast, go to the west coast, or fucking move to a whole different country. Don’t you dare think I would throw away everything for some guy.”

“I highly doubt that. Just last week you were asking me to help you make a decision.”

“I asked you whether or not you thought I had the GPA to be let in anywhere, I didn’t ask you to choose the rest of my life for me!” In just a split second, I had made up my mind. I wasn’t confused about my future anymore. “I decided to stay here and go to the community college for me.”

Alex’s face fell and he brought a hand to his face as he shook his head. “Rian told you we’re staying here to record our first EP, didn’t he?”

That was the last straw. “You’re a fucking dick. He didn’t tell me shit. I decided to stay here because it’s the only place I haven’t wanted to fucking kill myself.”

“Mickey…” Alex tried to calm me down and reach out for my arm.

But I slapped his hand away and took a step back before I did something that I would regret. “No, go fuck yourself. I really don’t care what the fuck you go off and do!”

“Okay, I get it!”

“You know what?” I breathed out heavily, thinking about what I was going to do. If it was the right decision or not. But it definitely was. “I’m done. We were going to break up after graduation anyway, why not just end it now.”

“What?” Alex’s eyes were wide with fear.

I ripped off the necklace he had gotten me for Christmas, breaking the lock in the process and dropped it in his hand. “Happy fucking Valentine’s day, Alex.”

“Wait–”

I turned around before he could argue and went straight to my car. I didn’t want to hear him try to make up an excuse. He was an asshole for thinking I would chase him around. This was just a high school relationship. It wasn’t anything serious. I never got into this thing with Alex thinking it would last forever. I knew that as soon as we graduated, we’d go our separate ways. Alex obviously didn’t think the same way. I was never going to choose my future based on our relationship. Maybe we could have made it through the summer, but let’s be honest.

Alex and I were different. He was in love and I was still trying to figure things out. I was finally getting my life back on track, I wasn’t going to let a relationship get in the way of that. If I wanted to go out to China to find myself, I would have. He wasn’t my priority.

I got into my car and locked the doors before starting the engine. Alex rushed over to the passenger side and tried to open the door just like he had done many times before. But I had gotten my car properly fixed. The locks weren’t dodgy anymore. So, he pounded on the window instead. I just started driving, making him jump away.

Maybe, just maybe, if Alex hadn’t pulled this stupidity, I would have stayed with him for much longer. Maybe I wouldn’t have called it off after graduation. Afterall, he was staying here.

But now? I was done with him.

Notes

Hi, guys, love y'all, don't hate me.

I've decided to add two more chapters, so instead of 3 more until the end, it's five! Yay!

I'm sorry.