Life isn't a fashion statement.
.
Trigger warning- eating disorders
Alex's POV
"Its time for morning weigh in." Max said as she knocked on my door.
"I'm not doing it, you know my weight alright so why do you need to weigh me again." I said.
"You've been here for a week now, need to see if you've put any weight on or not." Max said and I looked at her with a frown.
I stood up and went to walk out my room but Max stopped me.
"You need to put a top on. The others might find the way your body is triggering." Max said and I looked down and looked back at Max again.
"I'm not even that skinny." I said but I knew at the same time that I was skinny.
Max just hummed in disagreement.
"Put a hoodie on and I'll meet you down stairs." Max said and walked off and I looked for one of Jack's hoodie Jack liked and wore from his clothing line and went down stairs.
"I think I've gained." Frankie said in a proud way.
"Jesus Frank. Remember we don't talk about our weight." Georgie said which I was thankful for as gaining has now become something I fear.
"What I never mentioned how much I weighed only that I've gained." Frankie said and Willow walked out of the office and went upstairs looking like she was going to cry.
"Alex, your next." Max said and I walked past Georgie and stopped and looked at her.
"You need to stop being a self centered bitch and think about everyone else in this house." I said and walked into the office.
"Hey Alex." Max said.
"Hey." I said as I took my hoodie off and Max looked at me.
"How much do you weigh?" Max asked.
"You'll see how much I weigh in a minute." I said looking down.
"I want you to tell me." Max said and I sighed and looked at her.
"6 stone." I said and Max nodded.
"Okay, would you like to step on the scale." Max said and I nodded and walked towards the scale.
"Would you like to face away or not?" Max asked.
"I can take it." I said and stepped on the scales and looked at how much I weighed and smiled a little to myself when I saw I had lost a bit of weight.
"You need to start gaining otherwise you'll be tubed and we will have no choice in sending you away." Max said and I put my trousers and hoodie back on.
"I don't need you to scare talk me into things." I said as I walked out the room.
Everyone was sat at the table since we was having lunch.
"You not eating?" Willow asked and I looked at her.
"You haven't eaten since you go here." Willow said.
"Maybe because I'm not hungry." I said and messed with my food.
"Guess who's one step on getting out of here bitches." Frankie said and we all looked at her.
"Christ you really are a self centered bitch." I said and everyone looked at me.
"Excuse me?" Frankie said.
"None of us give a shit that you've gained. You going around boosting the fact you've gain really doesn't help the rest of us who are still struggling." I said.
"I'm saying it because I want you guys to be proud of me." Frankie said.
"Yeah well you going round saying you have gained is fucking trigger, I don't know if I'm speaking for the others but I'm definitely finding you talking about you gaining triggering so will you kindly shut the fuck up." I said and stood up and went to the sitting room out of the way.
"The fuck is his problem." I heard Frankie said.
"He has a point Frank, you boasting about your weight gain is really getting to me, it's like I feel fat enough as it is and I can't cope with you going on about all the time." I heard Willow say.
"Just because your all jealous that I could be out of here in a few weeks." Frankie said and I got up and joined everyone back at the table which shocked everyone.
"We're all here to recover, we don't need cunts like you ruining our chance of recovery." I said and got myself some water.
"Too bad this isn't vodka other wise I would say bottoms up." I said and downed the water and got up and walked out the room and went to sit in the window on the landing and watched the world go by.
"Its a good window to sit in." Someone said and I looked at the person and saw it was the person who came into my room last night.
"You could say that." I said quietly and looked back out the window.
The person sat down and I looked at him.
"I heard you haven't been getting along with Frankie." They said.
"Why should talk to someone when I don't even know your name." I said and they smiled.
"That is very true, I'm Dr Jones and I'm the person who owns and runs this place. I'm also the therapist here so if you need someone to talk to then I'll listen." Dr Jones said and I looked back out the window.
"I'll say what I said before, you and Frankie seemed to be at loggerheads at the moment." Dr Jones said.
"The bitch keeps on saying how she's gaining weight and getting out of here soon. How the hell is that meant to help any of us get better when you hear her brag about getting better." I said.
"That makes you angry? That people are getting better but your not." Dr Jones said and I looked and him.
"So you think I'm angry because she's getting better? That's not the case. I'm angry because I want help, I don't want to be like this, to be a bag of bones walking around. I want to get better but right now I feel like being here is not helping me. The reason for this is because I have goodie two shoes bragging about her gaining weight, I want help but I don't feel like I'm getting the help." I said and stood up and went downstairs and sat outside at the front and watched the world go by.
"I want you to do family therapy." Dr Jones said and sat next to me on the step.
"Don't have a family." I said and looked at the floor and got a cigarette out.
"Smoking is such a disgusting habit." Dr Jones said and I couldn't help but chuckle.
"You sound like Jack." I said quietly.
"Do you have anyone other than Jack?" Dr Jones asked.
"I have my best friend Quinn and her partner Beth and my dog Hank, but other than that I have nobody." I said quietly.
"Hank, not the sort of name you hear a lot. What type of dog is he?" Dr Jones asked and I couldn't help but smile because talking about Jack, Quinn or Hank always made me smile.
"He's a bulldog. Jack gave him to me as a birthday present last year." I said.
"How long have you and Jack been together?" Dr Jones asked.
"A year and 2 months." I said.
"You two are literally the perfect couple. Me and my partner are jealous of you two." Dr Jones said and I looked at him.
"That means a lot, sounds stupid but it means a lot." I said and Dr Jones smiled back.
"You love Jack, don't you?" Dr Jones said and I frowned at him.
"Course I do, I love him more than anything in the world." I said.
"Then you have to get better, not just for yourself, but for Jack as well. I can see the love he has for you Alex." Dr Jones said.
"Don't you think I'm trying? I came here for help because of Jack. If it wasn't for him then I would let myself die." I said and I stood up and went inside and went to my room.
Alex's POV
"Its time for morning weigh in." Max said as she knocked on my door.
"I'm not doing it, you know my weight alright so why do you need to weigh me again." I said.
"You've been here for a week now, need to see if you've put any weight on or not." Max said and I looked at her with a frown.
I stood up and went to walk out my room but Max stopped me.
"You need to put a top on. The others might find the way your body is triggering." Max said and I looked down and looked back at Max again.
"I'm not even that skinny." I said but I knew at the same time that I was skinny.
Max just hummed in disagreement.
"Put a hoodie on and I'll meet you down stairs." Max said and walked off and I looked for one of Jack's hoodie Jack liked and wore from his clothing line and went down stairs.
"I think I've gained." Frankie said in a proud way.
"Jesus Frank. Remember we don't talk about our weight." Georgie said which I was thankful for as gaining has now become something I fear.
"What I never mentioned how much I weighed only that I've gained." Frankie said and Willow walked out of the office and went upstairs looking like she was going to cry.
"Alex, your next." Max said and I walked past Georgie and stopped and looked at her.
"You need to stop being a self centered bitch and think about everyone else in this house." I said and walked into the office.
"Hey Alex." Max said.
"Hey." I said as I took my hoodie off and Max looked at me.
"How much do you weigh?" Max asked.
"You'll see how much I weigh in a minute." I said looking down.
"I want you to tell me." Max said and I sighed and looked at her.
"6 stone." I said and Max nodded.
"Okay, would you like to step on the scale." Max said and I nodded and walked towards the scale.
"Would you like to face away or not?" Max asked.
"I can take it." I said and stepped on the scales and looked at how much I weighed and smiled a little to myself when I saw I had lost a bit of weight.
"You need to start gaining otherwise you'll be tubed and we will have no choice in sending you away." Max said and I put my trousers and hoodie back on.
"I don't need you to scare talk me into things." I said as I walked out the room.
Everyone was sat at the table since we was having lunch.
"You not eating?" Willow asked and I looked at her.
"You haven't eaten since you go here." Willow said.
"Maybe because I'm not hungry." I said and messed with my food.
"Guess who's one step on getting out of here bitches." Frankie said and we all looked at her.
"Christ you really are a self centered bitch." I said and everyone looked at me.
"Excuse me?" Frankie said.
"None of us give a shit that you've gained. You going around boosting the fact you've gain really doesn't help the rest of us who are still struggling." I said.
"I'm saying it because I want you guys to be proud of me." Frankie said.
"Yeah well you going round saying you have gained is fucking trigger, I don't know if I'm speaking for the others but I'm definitely finding you talking about you gaining triggering so will you kindly shut the fuck up." I said and stood up and went to the sitting room out of the way.
"The fuck is his problem." I heard Frankie said.
"He has a point Frank, you boasting about your weight gain is really getting to me, it's like I feel fat enough as it is and I can't cope with you going on about all the time." I heard Willow say.
"Just because your all jealous that I could be out of here in a few weeks." Frankie said and I got up and joined everyone back at the table which shocked everyone.
"We're all here to recover, we don't need cunts like you ruining our chance of recovery." I said and got myself some water.
"Too bad this isn't vodka other wise I would say bottoms up." I said and downed the water and got up and walked out the room and went to sit in the window on the landing and watched the world go by.
"Its a good window to sit in." Someone said and I looked at the person and saw it was the person who came into my room last night.
"You could say that." I said quietly and looked back out the window.
The person sat down and I looked at him.
"I heard you haven't been getting along with Frankie." They said.
"Why should talk to someone when I don't even know your name." I said and they smiled.
"That is very true, I'm Dr Jones and I'm the person who owns and runs this place. I'm also the therapist here so if you need someone to talk to then I'll listen." Dr Jones said and I looked back out the window.
"I'll say what I said before, you and Frankie seemed to be at loggerheads at the moment." Dr Jones said.
"The bitch keeps on saying how she's gaining weight and getting out of here soon. How the hell is that meant to help any of us get better when you hear her brag about getting better." I said.
"That makes you angry? That people are getting better but your not." Dr Jones said and I looked and him.
"So you think I'm angry because she's getting better? That's not the case. I'm angry because I want help, I don't want to be like this, to be a bag of bones walking around. I want to get better but right now I feel like being here is not helping me. The reason for this is because I have goodie two shoes bragging about her gaining weight, I want help but I don't feel like I'm getting the help." I said and stood up and went downstairs and sat outside at the front and watched the world go by.
"I want you to do family therapy." Dr Jones said and sat next to me on the step.
"Don't have a family." I said and looked at the floor and got a cigarette out.
"Smoking is such a disgusting habit." Dr Jones said and I couldn't help but chuckle.
"You sound like Jack." I said quietly.
"Do you have anyone other than Jack?" Dr Jones asked.
"I have my best friend Quinn and her partner Beth and my dog Hank, but other than that I have nobody." I said quietly.
"Hank, not the sort of name you hear a lot. What type of dog is he?" Dr Jones asked and I couldn't help but smile because talking about Jack, Quinn or Hank always made me smile.
"He's a bulldog. Jack gave him to me as a birthday present last year." I said.
"How long have you and Jack been together?" Dr Jones asked.
"A year and 2 months." I said.
"You two are literally the perfect couple. Me and my partner are jealous of you two." Dr Jones said and I looked at him.
"That means a lot, sounds stupid but it means a lot." I said and Dr Jones smiled back.
"You love Jack, don't you?" Dr Jones said and I frowned at him.
"Course I do, I love him more than anything in the world." I said.
"Then you have to get better, not just for yourself, but for Jack as well. I can see the love he has for you Alex." Dr Jones said.
"Don't you think I'm trying? I came here for help because of Jack. If it wasn't for him then I would let myself die." I said and I stood up and went inside and went to my room.
I don't think so! It's well written, nothing much happens but it doesn't have to be super dramatic all the time. I like it :)
10/15/17