Don't You Go and Carry On With Your Life

Jack

I hung up my phone before Kellin could finish his sentence. He had just finished telling me that Alex had gotten Taylor pregnant. I felt physically sick to my stomach and also like I couldn't breathe. I got up from my seat, with tears quickly running down my face, and rushed off to the restroom. I hated that this news was having this effect on me.

I ran to the paper towel dispenser when I got into the bathroom. I wiped my eyes as best I could, but I couldn’t stop crying. Someone opened the door and I tried to hide my face, but I saw it was Brendon. He must have saw me run off to the bathroom and followed me. He walked over and wrapped his arms around me.

"Jack, what happened?" He asked, worriedly.

"Kellin just called and said found out that the girl Alex cheated on me with is pregnant." I sobbed into his shoulder. I think this hurt worse than knowing Alex cheated on me. This forced me realize that he was officially over me and already moving on.

"I'm so sorry." Brendon said, trying to comfort me. "He doesn't deserve your tears, Jack. He deserves to be punched in the face."

"I hate him so much." I cried.

"Shhh it's okay. I'm sure you can do way better than him."

"It's just been so hard for me to get over him." I sniffled.

"I know, trust me I know." He rubbed my back soothingly.

I stayed hugging Brendon for a few more minutes until someone walked into the bathroom and we pulled apart. I wiped my eyes and tried to compose myself so I could walk back out to my desk.

"How about we take an early lunch? I can go get the guys and we can go eat and talk." He suggested.

"I'm not really hungry, but a break sounds great." I agreed.

I went to our break room while Brendon went to get Alan and Patrick. I grabbed my Sprite out of the work refrigerator because I was dying of thirst. I couldn't bring myself to grab my food, my stomach felt numb.

Alan and Patrick walked in with Brendon and they both looked at me sympathetically. Either Brendon had told them what happened or they could see it on my face that I was upset.

"Hey, what's going on?" Patrick asked.

"I just found out that Alex got his mistress pregnant." I said with no emotion behind my voice.

"Oh no! Jack I'm so sorry." He said.

"It's not your fault. I'm just still trying to process it."

"If it makes you feel any better, he has to start completely over and raise another kid from start to finish." Alan said and I lightly chuckled.

"That's probably killing him because he said he didn't want any more kids." I told them.

"See its karma." Brendon added.

"Yeah." I sighed. My phone began vibrating and I saw Alex's name on the screen.

"Why isn't he blocked?" Brendon asked.

"Good question." I sighed.

I let Alex's call go to voicemail and then I blocked his number. "He probably was calling to see if I’ve talked to Kellin yet." I said and rolled my eyes.

"He should know the answer now that he's blocked." Alan said, making us laugh.

"You should go out with us this weekend! It'll really help get your mind off of him." Patrick suggested.

"You know what, I'll go. That sounds like exactly what I need." I impulsively agreed.

"Yay! Hopefully we will find someone to take your mind off of that dirtbag." Brendon added and I playfully rolled my eyes.

"I still don't know if I'm ready for that phase yet, but we'll see."

************

Alex

I watched as Kellin sped off from the parking lot. He had just finished yelling at me for not telling him that Tay is pregnant. He’s was probably more pissed at me for actually getting her pregnant.

I was hoping Tay was still in my office so I could give her a piece of my mind. I stormed back into the building and went straight to my office. Tay was sitting behind my desk on her phone. She looked up at me and set her phone done when I walked in.

"Do you remember how much fun we used to have on this desk?" She chuckled, ignoring the angry look on my face. Guilt washed over me as I thought about the countless times I cheated on Jack with her in this room.

"You told Kellin that you’re pregnant??" I asked her.

"Yeah I told you that either you could tell him sometime soon or I would." She shrugged. I didn't take her seriously when she said that.

"Why the hell would you do that? Now he'll never talk to me again!" I yelled at her.

"Alex, I'm sick of having to stay in a hotel every other weekend. Now I can stay at our place when he comes over because he knows the truth now."

"Do you know how bad it looks that I didn't tell him myself? It looks like I was trying to hide it from him."

"You were trying to hide it from him. Admit it! You probably would have never told him!" She called me out.

"I was going to do it when the time felt right!"

"When was that exactly?? After the baby was born? Or were you planning on keeping this a secret for forever?"

"Tay just- just got out. I can't be around you right now." I needed to go talk to Kellin explain myself. I knew he probably didn't want to talk to me, but I needed to do it.

"Fine, I'll be at home trying to stop the morning sickness that our child is causing." She spat at me before getting up and walking out. I don't know how much more I could take from Tay. The fact that I really didn't want to be with her was making her unbearable.

I grabbed my car keys and stopped by my boss's office to tell her I wasn't feeling well. She told me to get better soon and let me off early. I rushed out to my car and called Kellin. I was going to go to their house and try to make things better. He didn't answer any of my six calls.

"Damnit." I mumbled to myself.

I pulled in front of the house, but I didn't see his car. I got out to ring the doorbell anyways but no one came to answer it.

"Where else could he have gone?" I asked myself.

I went back to my car to sit down and think for a few minutes. Kellin most likely called Jack by now and told him everything. I slouched down and my seat and banged my head on the headrest.

"I'm such an idiot." I sighed.

The amount of guilt I felt now was killing me. Jack was either heartbroken after finding out that I got Tay pregnant or else he just doesn't care. Both options made me feel like shit. I tried to muster up enough courage to call Jack and apologize for putting him through this. I also needed to see if he knew where Kellin was so I could apologize to him too.

After a few minutes of procrastinating and calming my nerves, I picked up my phone. I selected Jack's contact in my phone and pressed call. His phone rang and rang until it ultimately sent me to voicemail.

"Oh come on." I complained.

I tried calling over and over and over again but each time, after the first call, I was immediately sent to voicemail. I think that meant that my number was now blocked in his phone.

I had no idea how else to get into contact with Jack or Kellin. It's not like Kylie had a phone that I could call. I could call Jack's mom and asked if she talked to him or Kellin or if she knew where they were, but I was terrified of that women. If she ever found it that I got someone else pregnant she was going to break me; she already wanted to kill me after cheating. It was probably best that I didn’t call her.

I ended up going home and locking myself in the room I had for Kellin. Tay was in my bedroom and I didn't want to be around her. I kind of didn't want to be around anyone, I felt like crying and throwing up at the same time. I could also feel more guilt eating away at my heart. Kellin and Jack have every right to hate me. Not only did I cheat on Jack and have to move out of our house, but now I was starting a new family with Tay not even a month. I hated myself too at this point.

My phone began ringing a few minutes after I laid down in the bed and I quickly picked it up. I thought it was Jack or Kellin, but it turned out to be Rian. I stared at my phone debating whether or not I should pick it up. I decided talking to Rian could help a little, he usually knew the right thing to say.

"Hey Alex, are you okay? Brenda told me that you said you weren't feeling well and left." He said worriedly.

"I'm not sick, Ri. I had to tell Brenda that so I could leave early. Um Kellin ran into Tay and she ended up telling him that she's pregnant." I sighed.

"Oh damn. What did Kellin say to you? Was he angry?"

"Yeah he was beyond angry. He actually stormed out of the building with Kylie and left. I have no idea where he is and he won't answer my phone calls."

"Hmm I doubt he'll answer if Carla or I call. He’ll know we're doing it for you. And I just...I can understand his pain and I know why he feels hurt. I think it's just best to give him some space in this situation." He suggested.

"I just want to apologize to him and know that he's okay." I said.

"I know you do, but I just think it would be best if you gave him some time to process this information."

"Yeah yeah you're probably right. I'll leave him alone for tonight and try again tomorrow."

"Alex, tomorrow might still be too soon. Kellin is going to need a few days for this. He just found out that his dad is having another baby with a person that's not Jack. That means your attention will be divided between three kids. Actually newborn babies need more attention so it won't be equally divided." He explained.

"I'll love them each equally."

"Yeah but Kellin probably isn't thinking like that."

"Ugh shit. I'm such a fucking idiot. I should have never ever had sex with Tay." I complained.

"What's done is done. Now you have to focus on the present and future. You need to think about what you actually want to say to Kellin before you go talk to him. I'd say just give him a few days to cool off."

"What about Jack? I feel like I owe him the biggest apology for this." I sighed again.

"I um don't think Jack will take an apology from you seriously. He probably won't even talk to you right now, knowing him."

"Yeah he did block my number. I guess he knows by now."

"Mhmm. Just think about what you would say to them if you got the chance. Hopefully it’ll come in handy later."

"Yeah you’re right, thanks Rian. You always know how to help." I told him.

"It's no problem. I just hope things get better for you."

"Me too, Man."

"I'll let you go now. Just call me if you need anything else, Lex."

"Thanks, Ri." I said and we hung up.

I laid back down on the bed and began planning what I was going to say to Jack and Kellin.

Notes