Long Live Us
Forty-Seven
The tour was finally over. I was so relieved now. I was finally going home with my fiancé to my beautiful daughter. I was just way too excited. I missed Isabelle so much on tour and whenever Jack and I talked about her, my heart grew so heavy and it felt like my heart was being torn from my chest. How my dad managed to handle going on tour most of the year and still manage to be a dad I was amazed. I hope I learn his trick to handling everything soon. I might ask Tom to take my place so I can stay home with Isabelle so she had a parent home to always remind her that her mommy and daddy love her with all of their hearts.
Jack and I finally arrive at his parents house since it was their week with Isabelle and I took off running. I missed my daughter so much while I was out on the road and I needed to be with her as soon as possible. I couldn't stand be away from her anymore.
"Stella, you have great timing, Izzy just woke up from her nap," Jasmin greeted me.
"Where is she," I asked her.
"In the living room playing with Jack," she replied. I walked into the living room to find Isabelle in her in her walker playing with abundance of toys on it with her grandpa.
Seeing my baby girl having so much fun with Uncle Jack felt so off to me. She should be having that much fun with Jack and I. We should have asked Tom if we could just go back into the studio again to make an EP while we raised Izzy until she was a toddler and we got to see her get her first tooth and crawled for the first time. I hated being away from her.
"There's my happy baby girl," I cooed as I got close to her. She reached her arms out, but not to me. I turned around to find Jack standing behind me.
"She wants her daddy I guess," Jack smiled at me as he picked her up.
"I'm glad she knows your her daddy," I told him as I stroked my daughters hair that was getting thicker and longer than I remembered when we visited her at my parents' house.
"Let's get her home so we can have playtime with her," Jack kissed our daughter's forehead as she took hold of his hair.
"Stretch your arms out baby girl," I cooed as I played tummy time with Izzy in her room.
Izzy giggled and reached out to me. She had one tooth already, but I knew she'd be fussy while her other ones come in. Jack always said he'd hate to miss out on anything for our daughter. I always felt incomplete when I left Izzy behind.
Before I realized what was going on, I watched as Izzy propped herself onto her hands and knees. I quickly held onto her shoulders to keep her from moving.
"Jack, come quick," I shouted. I heard him run up the stairs and along the hallway as he finally got to Izzy's room.
"What's going on, Stell," he asked as he caught his breath.
"Watch Izzy," I told him as I let her go and back up from her. We watched as she crawled to me and laid in my lap as she reached up to grab at my hair.
"But she's only five months old, Stell," Jack was shocked.
"I know. Maybe she's just advanced for her age. Jack, she's just amazing," I gushed as I tickled her gently.
"She better slow down. I don't want her growing up too fast on us," Jack joked as he sat down next to me. Izzy reached out to Jack and he gave her his finger to old onto. I loved it when she held onto him like that.
"I'm bringing her with us on the next tour. I don't care about what my dad thinks. I'm not going to miss out on anything with her. We can handle having her on tour. We could rent a second bus that's much smaller for just us so we let everyone sleep," I told him.
"Stella, you know we can't do that to her. She's too young to tour," Jack replied.
"Jack, if we get her cleared to travel with her pediatrician, she can come with us. I'm not leaving her anymore. I can't stand it anymore. I do not want to miss her early years and all of her firsts," I told him.
"We'll have to talk to Tom into letting us record an EP and staying home for a while until after Izzy turns a year old. That way we won't miss her walking or talking for the first time," Jack kissed my forehead before he bent down to kiss Izzy's.
I was able to watch her crawl, but I didn't want to miss anything with Isabelle. I would give up my dream to be the mother I should for my daughter. I could maybe convince Tom to take my place until Isabelle is older so I could leave in the care of her grandmothers. I guess I have to face the music, I have to do what my dad did while I was growing up. I have to leave her behind, and it tore me apart every time.
Jack and I finally arrive at his parents house since it was their week with Isabelle and I took off running. I missed my daughter so much while I was out on the road and I needed to be with her as soon as possible. I couldn't stand be away from her anymore.
"Stella, you have great timing, Izzy just woke up from her nap," Jasmin greeted me.
"Where is she," I asked her.
"In the living room playing with Jack," she replied. I walked into the living room to find Isabelle in her in her walker playing with abundance of toys on it with her grandpa.
Seeing my baby girl having so much fun with Uncle Jack felt so off to me. She should be having that much fun with Jack and I. We should have asked Tom if we could just go back into the studio again to make an EP while we raised Izzy until she was a toddler and we got to see her get her first tooth and crawled for the first time. I hated being away from her.
"There's my happy baby girl," I cooed as I got close to her. She reached her arms out, but not to me. I turned around to find Jack standing behind me.
"She wants her daddy I guess," Jack smiled at me as he picked her up.
"I'm glad she knows your her daddy," I told him as I stroked my daughters hair that was getting thicker and longer than I remembered when we visited her at my parents' house.
"Let's get her home so we can have playtime with her," Jack kissed our daughter's forehead as she took hold of his hair.
"Stretch your arms out baby girl," I cooed as I played tummy time with Izzy in her room.
Izzy giggled and reached out to me. She had one tooth already, but I knew she'd be fussy while her other ones come in. Jack always said he'd hate to miss out on anything for our daughter. I always felt incomplete when I left Izzy behind.
Before I realized what was going on, I watched as Izzy propped herself onto her hands and knees. I quickly held onto her shoulders to keep her from moving.
"Jack, come quick," I shouted. I heard him run up the stairs and along the hallway as he finally got to Izzy's room.
"What's going on, Stell," he asked as he caught his breath.
"Watch Izzy," I told him as I let her go and back up from her. We watched as she crawled to me and laid in my lap as she reached up to grab at my hair.
"But she's only five months old, Stell," Jack was shocked.
"I know. Maybe she's just advanced for her age. Jack, she's just amazing," I gushed as I tickled her gently.
"She better slow down. I don't want her growing up too fast on us," Jack joked as he sat down next to me. Izzy reached out to Jack and he gave her his finger to old onto. I loved it when she held onto him like that.
"I'm bringing her with us on the next tour. I don't care about what my dad thinks. I'm not going to miss out on anything with her. We can handle having her on tour. We could rent a second bus that's much smaller for just us so we let everyone sleep," I told him.
"Stella, you know we can't do that to her. She's too young to tour," Jack replied.
"Jack, if we get her cleared to travel with her pediatrician, she can come with us. I'm not leaving her anymore. I can't stand it anymore. I do not want to miss her early years and all of her firsts," I told him.
"We'll have to talk to Tom into letting us record an EP and staying home for a while until after Izzy turns a year old. That way we won't miss her walking or talking for the first time," Jack kissed my forehead before he bent down to kiss Izzy's.
I was able to watch her crawl, but I didn't want to miss anything with Isabelle. I would give up my dream to be the mother I should for my daughter. I could maybe convince Tom to take my place until Isabelle is older so I could leave in the care of her grandmothers. I guess I have to face the music, I have to do what my dad did while I was growing up. I have to leave her behind, and it tore me apart every time.
11/4/13