A Story to Tell Your Friends

It had been 10 days since Jack had left. Ten days. As promised, he had called me every day to check in on me. He hadn’t had chance to call yet for more than five minutes and I missed the sound of his voice, the way he laughed, the way he let out his breath when he knew he’d said something stupid that made me laugh, like he’d been holding it to make sure I approved. I spent just as much time texting him as I normally did, but it didn’t fill the void. Lisa and Alex had left a few days after Jack and I’d pretty much been cooped up at home ever since, with the exception of going to work or the store. I’d spoken to Lisa a couple of times since she’d left and she’d told me about seeing Jack, but it wasn’t the same as it was before.
I missed him.
“Clara, will you stop fucking moping?” Tammy asked, kicking my feet off the coffee table. “He’s gone on tour, he’s not dead. He’ll call, he’s just busy.”
“I know,” I muttered. “I’m such a fucking loser.”
“So, what’s new there?” She shot back, I rolled my eyes. Tammy had made some new friends at work over the last few days and had generally been hanging out after work, while I’d been at home binging on terrible TV shows and texting Jack. He didn’t know I’d been moping and I was hoping to keep it that way.
“When did I turn into such a baby?”
“I’ll admit I’ve never seen you like this, but you’re not being a baby. This is what happens when you really like someone.”
“I used to mock you for this.”
“I know, and trust me when I say there will be retribution for that. But, it’s kind of nice to see you this into someone. You’ve always held back before.”
“Yeah, and those guys were actually going to be in the same state as me 99 days out of 100.” Tammy snorted, shrugging.
“Clearly, you dig the unavailable ones.”
“I just dig Jack,” I pouted.
“Just call him yourself.”
“And make him think I’m a needy loser? No thanks.” She rolled her eyes, hitting me lightly.
“It’s not as bad as you think. He may actually find that cute, you know. I mean, he’s been attracted to you so far when you’ve been a giant slob, so I think ‘needy loser’ will be high on his list of adorable personality traits.” I threw a cushion at her, hitting her in the face. “Nice, Clara. I’m just trying to help.”
“Well, you’re not. It’s 5 o’clock on a Friday and I’m at home with no plans, moping over a guy I barely know.”
“You can always come out with me and the guys,” she shrugged. I pulled a face. That didn’t sound appealing.
“Maybe another time.”
“Whatever.” She threw the cushion back at me and stood up, going to her room.
Call me, cutie.
I launched myself at my phone as my text came through, grinning wider than I knew possible. Trying not to seem too eager, I got up from the living room where I’d situated myself and moved to my bedroom, grabbing a drink on my way by the kitchen. I pressed dial on Jack’s name as soon I closed my bedroom door and he picked up after the fourth ring.
“Well, hello beautiful,” Jack answered smoothly.
“Hello to you too, handsome,” I replied back, attempting to be as smooth as he was. “Where have you been?”
“Everywhere,” he laughed. “It’s our first show later and I just wanted to make sure I called you before we went to get ready.” My heart pounded, realising he’d actually consciously made the time to call me.
“So, you’re hella busy and can only talk for five minutes?”
“Nope,” he replied, popping the ‘p’. “I’m all yours for the next hour if you need me.” My heart pounded harder and I felt my smile widen even further. “Sound check is over, I’ll have an hour to get ready before we go on after this and I just know you’ll psych me right up ready for the show.”
“I thought just being in the same room as Mark would do that for you.”
“Not that I don’t understand that Mark, uh, gets your motor running, but I’m pretty sure I’m into chicks.” I snorted into the phone.
“So, what, you’re calling me for a pre-show boner?”
“You know me so well.” I put my free hand over my eyes, chuckling at his words.
“Alex was right, you’re definitely still a 17-year-old.”
“Only if it turns you on.” I heard a loud groan in the background and stifled another giggle.
“Are you grossing out your bandmates?”
“Nah, Alex has been grossing me out with Lisa for days. He deserves it.” I heard a door slam through the phone and stopped trying to suppress my giggle.
“I think you scared him off.”
“He’s just worried I’ll masturbate over something that isn’t him tonight. He’s kind of jealous like that.”
“I really can’t believe you. How is everything so far?”
“Amazing. My parents were fine and all, but I’m on tour with Blink, Clara. It’s incredible.”
“I’m so jealous of you right now.”
“Well, if you didn’t have a stupid job, you could’ve come with.”
“And live on a sweaty bus with you idiots for a month? No thank you.”
“So, how has LA been treating you since I’ve been gone?” Jack asked. I could imagine his childish grin and longed to be sitting with him. I knew he’d enjoyed his time with his parents before he left for tour, and I knew I was being selfish, but all I wanted was for him to just be staying here with me for the next two months, instead of travelling the country. It helped to know that he was enjoying himself so far though.
“Shit,” I laughed. “I’ve been cooped up in my apartment for the last week. I didn’t realise the only friends I’d made lived on the other side of the country. Even Tammy has been out more than me.” And I miss you. A lot. I sighed inwardly. I didn’t want Jack to realise just how much I missed him, or put a downer on something he was so excited for, so I just kept it to myself. I’d already made it abundantly clear before he left, he didn’t need to hear it again.
“Well, you’re a pretty girl, and without me around, I’m sure you’ll have guys eating out of the palm of your hand and new best friends in no time at all. Besides, I’ll be back in three weeks to keep you company.”
“Like you and the girl you’re stalking on Snapchat, you mean.” The line went quiet for a couple of seconds and I began to regret my words. I knew he’d take them the wrong way. I can remember checking my feed and seeing it: ‘When you tryna figure out if someone has a boyfriend from their snap story.’ Yeah, I was kind of miffed when he put that on his Twitter within a couple of days of leaving me, but that wasn’t the way I meant it. We weren’t together; I had no right to make any sort of deal of it. So what if he was checking out another girl’s social media to see if she was single? It had nothing to do with me.
“It wasn’t what you think,” he said quietly, after some hesitation. “The guys told me about some girl they’d met and they couldn’t decide if she was single or not, so we decided to do some digging. It was a joke.” I snorted.
“You don’t have to explain anything to me Jack. We’re both single. I don’t owe you anything, and you most certainly don’t owe me anything either. You can hit on any girl you want; sleep with any girl you want in fact. I really don’t mind.” That was a lie. I’d be heartbroken if I heard he’d slept with anyone else. I definitely didn’t intend to do anything while he was gone. I knew if anything happened while he was away, I’d pretend to be fine, but I’d be anything but fine and I didn’t know if I’d be able to get over it. My feelings for him had become so strong over a mere three weeks that I was already in this for the long haul. I just needed him to tell me the same, to tell me he wasn’t going to do anything to hurt me. “Neither of us have to explain anything to each other. It’s not like you’re my boyfriend.”
“You’re right, I guess. I just didn’t want you to think it was anything it wasn’t or that I was trying to rub anything in your face. Look, I’ve gotta go. I’ve just remembered I have some other shit to do before we go on.”
“Okay, I guess I’ll speak to you later?”
“Bye Clara.”
I gnawed on my lip at his tone as my phone beeped to tell me he’d gone. I couldn’t help but feel I’d said something to piss him off, but I couldn’t understand what. All I’d said was that it was okay for him to do as he pleased, it was always up to him. On what planet would that be a source of annoyance? I guess you never know with him.
“You okay, Clar?” Tammy asked, sticking her head around my bedroom door. I smiled weakly, shaking my head.
“I think I pissed Jack off and I don’t know why.”
“You’ll be okay, he’s probably just hormonal,” she laughed, entering the room fully and sitting on my bed next to me while I stared at my phone.
“I guess. Just, he was fine one minute and then the next he’s gone. I don’t understand.”
“And boys say we’re the confusing ones,” Tammy said, rolling her eyes. “Come on, it’s Friday night and neither of us have anywhere to be tomorrow. Let’s get dressed, go out and get so drunk you end up in bed with a pizza tomorrow morning.” I laughed, nodding along. It did sound like a good idea. Besides, I could actually maybe meet some new friends who lived somewhat close by consistently. Speaking to Jack had reminded me that I did need to get out more and actually enjoy myself.
The taxi pulled up outside the bar and I handed our fare to the driver. It was the same bar Jack had taken me to the first night I went out with him, Alex and Lisa and I smiled. I’d told Tammy about it while we were figuring out where to go and she’d jumped at the idea, texting her workmates the address and telling them to meet us there. We made our way inside, grabbing a drink and finding a table we would all fit at once everyone arrived.
“Tammy!” A girl called, waving at her from the doorway. Tammy waved back, standing up so she could hug her when she made it to us.
“Hanna, this is Clara. Clara, this is Hanna. Clara’s my best friend,” Tammy told Hanna as she sat down. I smiled weakly, still hung up on Jack’s tone when he ended our call earlier.
“It’s nice to finally meet you! All of Tammy’s stories from college seem to involve you,” she said, smiling at me brightly. I let another small smile pull at my lips, this time meaning it.
“I got her in a lot of trouble, but she got me into just as much,” I laughed. “It’s nice to meet you too!”
“Duck face!” Clara accused, holding my phone and pointing it at me, far too many drinks later. “You’re duck facing with someone other than me!” I laughed at her, snatching my phone back and uploading the picture of Hanna and I to Twitter, captioning it ‘Duck-facing without my favourite Duck Face’ in an attempt to appease her a little.
“Bite me!” I shouted back. We’d been here a couple of hours now and I was beginning to relax. The ridiculous amounts of vodka I had consumed were helping beyond belief, and I’d been getting along with Hanna quite well. She seemed like a genuinely nice person.
“I’m pretty sure it’s not me you want to bite you!” I wiggled my eyebrows at her, though her remark made me realise I’d yet to hear from Jack since the phone call. I ignored the feeling in my gut, adamant he was just busy enjoying his first night on tour.
“Is this a boyfriend?” Hanna squealed, just as drunk as I.
“Yes,” Tammy said, at the same time as I said ‘no’. “Oh, if he’s not your boyfriend, what is he? He’s definitely not just your friend.” I glared at her.
“So, he’s a kind of boyfriend?” Hanna asked. “I get that.” I snorted into my drink.
“Well, at least one of us does!”

Notes