You've got to hold on.

Alex's POV

After nearly a month in hospital I was allowed to go home, the only problem was that I didn't have a home to go to.
I was sat on my bed thinking when Jack came in bringing decent coffee with him which made me smile.
"I bring you good coffee." He said and handed me the coffee.
"Thanks." I said quietly.

"Hey, you excited that you get too home?" Jack asked and sat on the bed.
"I have no where Jack. I'm just going to be thrown back onto the streets and then wait for everything to get bad again and try and make the attempt a success for one." I said quietly and looked down.
"You can come home with me." Jack said.
I looked at him.
"And put you through more pain than what I've already done? Jack I can't do that. Your better to stay away from me, I'm more toxic now than what I was before. I'm not the same person anymore." I said.
"I'm in more pain when I'm not with you." He said and rolled his sleeves where a load of new scars was.
I reached my hand out to his arm and gently ran my finger over the scars and then looked at my bandaged arm.
"Are they because of me?" I whispered.
Jack looked down.
"Jack. Are they because of me?" I asked more seriously.
"Yes." Jack whispered and looked at me.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I fucked up. I knew the minute I threw you out I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I'm not myself when your not with me Alex. I need you and I know you need me too." He said and sniffed loudly.
"I was the one who fucked up." I said.
"No you weren't Alex. Listen to me you didn't fuck up. It was me, I fucked us up. Not you." Jack said.
"I was the one who cheated Jack. I ran off when you needed me the most, all because I only thought of myself. I am the biggest fuck up you'll ever meet and you know this Jack." I said.
"I dont care if your the biggest fuck up ever because I love you Alexander. I love you more than anything." Jack said.
"No one can love me." I said quietly and looked away from Jack.
Jack made me look at him.
"I loved you before and I still love you Alex." Jack said.
I looked at him.
"Why though? After everything which I have done towards you. You still love me, I absolutely hate myself so how can you possibly love me still." I said.
"Because I do. I know I should hate you after what you did. But I can't Alex, there's something about you which I can't let go off." He said.
I stayed quiet and so did Jack.

"Please say you'll come home Lex." Jack said quietly.
"You don't want me back." I whispered.
Jack moved and kissed me hard which I returned.
"I want you back. I will always want you back Alex, I've tried to move on but I can't. I can't move on because I know my heart belongs to you and it always will do Lex." He said and I looked at him.
"I need help Jack. I need help on my drug use, my mental health I dunno maybe even my drinking. I am a lot more messed up than what I was before." I said and looked down.
I felt Jack put a finger under my chin and made me look at him.
"Messed up or not. I am going to be here to help you and I won't run away. I'm here for keeps." Jack said and bushed his lips against mine.
I smiled and kissed him.
"Please forgive me. I'm so sorry for what I did to you." I said and traced my finger along Jacks lips.
"I forgive you." Jack said and kissed my finger.
"Still got another 4 hours in this place so I don't know about you but I'm going to get some sleep." I said and Jack chuckled.
"There's me thinking you wanted sex." He said.
"Later, but once I'm out of here I believe you owe me a coffee date." I said and Jack looked at me shocked.
"You heard that?" He asked.
"Well I zoned in and out of it but I heard coffee and date so I just put the two and two together." I said as Jack lead down and I cuddled into his side and Jack started to mess with my hair.
"We'll go for a date when you finally escape." Jack said and I smiled and slowly fell asleep.

Notes