Trigger warning self harm.

Alex's POV

I was woken up by another nightmare.
Everything at the moment was really bad for my turns are getting really bad and I feel like I have no control over them like I did when I had them on the streets. I felt really bad when Jack said that I scared Lily. I didn't mean to scare her, I wouldn't see anything hurt these kids because of what happened to me but I feel like I have somehow hurt them in my actions.
I didn't realise I was crying until I felt something rolling down my cheek.
I sniffed and wiped my eyes and looked at Jack and smiled.
Jack sighed and he rolled over cuddled into my side and woke up.
"You've been crying." Jack said with sleep thick in his voice.
"No I haven't." I sniffed.
"Yes you have. Your cheeks are wet and tear stained." Jack said and ran his thumb over my cheeks.
I rolled over and cuddled into his chest and buried my face in his chest and felt more tears fall.
"Lex talk to me, why you crying?" Jack said and made me look at me.
I shook my head and quickly climbed over Jack and ran to the bathroom locking the door before Jack to get to me.

I went over to the toilet and threw up until I had nothing left in my stomach.
"Alex let me in." Jack said and banged on the door which made me up jump and carry on crying.
"Don't be mad. I'm sorry I won't run off again." I said while sobbing my eyes out and getting up and finding my blade which I had hidden away.
"Alex what you talking about? Let me in babe. Its me Jack I'm not going to hurt your and you know this." Jack said.
I sat on the toilet and looked at my arm and just cut my arm with little and deep cuts.
I felt myself go dizzy and I got up against my will but I had no idea what I was doing and I got up and went to the door and unlocked it.
I opened the door and saw Jack pacing by the door.
He looked up and rushed over to me and looked at my arm.
"I'm sorry." I sobbed and Jack pulled me into a hug.
"Don't say sorry. Its okay, everything is going to be okay." Jack said and held me closer to him while rubbing my back as I held him close to me and cried into his chest.
"Let me look at your arm." Jack said and pulled away from me a little.
I let him look at my arm and Jack looked at me and kissed my forehead.
"You need to go to the hospital to get your cuts stitched." Jack said.
"No. He'll find me there, he knows he messes with my head and he knows I would hurt myself if its bad. I can't go to that place he'll hurt me otherwise." I said and started to cry again.
"Lex, Lex, listen to me okay, you don't have to go to hospital and if you do I'll be right beside you and I won't leave your side. You have to calm yourself down otherwise you'll pass out on me." Jack said and I nodded.
I left Jack pick me up and we went to Jacks room and he sorted my arm out.

After I calmed down a little me and Jack went downstairs.
I went over to Joyce and hugged her which I never do unless it was Jack.
Joyce returned my hug.
"I'm so sorry Joyce. I'm so sorry." I said quietly.
"Its okay sweetie. Its okay." Joyce said and rubber my back which made me tense up a lot and Joyce realised and stopped and let me go and she looked at me and smiled.
"I'll get you something to eat." Joyce said and I nodded and went over to Lily.
"Hey Lily." I said quietly and sat next to her.
"Don't go mad Alex." She said and looked down.
"I won't. I'm sorry that I scared you." I said and Lily looked at me.
She moved and cuddled into my side.
"Don't be like daddy please." She said into my side.
"I won't. I promise I will try not to do that again." I said and held her close to me and she returned my gesture.
"Did you just yourself?" She asked and pointed to my arm.
"Yes I did." I said and looked down.
I felt my arm being picked up and looked and saw Lily was kissing my arm.
"Jack does it when your sleeping. He said it will help them get better." She said and looked at me.
I smiled and just enjpyed our hug we was having.

Notes

my updates are so shit and short at the moment but only because I have shit WiFi and it keeps on cutting out