You've got to hold on.

Alex's POV

I woke up and was alone in bed.
The house was quiet as well part from the sound of children messing around outside for some strange reason.
Since I didn't move from Jacks room yesterday I should really go and brave it to go downstairs.
Which I did after I stole Jacks hoodie since I was really cold.

I went downstairs and saw Jacks mum standing by the door.
She must of heard me coming downstairs as she turned round and smiled at me which I shyly returned.
"Everyone playing in the snow, would you like to join them?" She said kindly.
I shook my head and backed away a little.
"Its okay, I was just wondering." She said.
I was looking round for Jack.
"He's gone to school sweetie, but its only for the morning since he needs some help with some of his lessons." She said.
The only time I felt safe is when I knew Jack was near by or next to me, I trusted nobody else.
"Alex its okay, you can trust me and everyone under this roof. We're not going to hurt you." She said softly.
"How do I know that?" I asked and looked at her.
She looked at me shocked since I don't speak unless I'm with Jack.
"Because you see them children outside." She said and caught hold of my hand before I could back away from her.
"Those children have never experienced love, they have only experienced hatred, abuse. They never trusted the people who were meant to love them and protect them from harm. I'm guessing you are the same Alex, the people who are meant to be there for you, the people you trusted. They threw you away like you was trash..." She said and I looked down because what she said about me was true.
"...These children never trusted anyone, but with a awful lot of time they know they can trust me, Bassam and Jack. Jake never spoke to anyone other than Jack for 2 years. If you don't trust anyone then that is fine. But I can tell you that you can trust Jack. He has a heart of gold and you can trust him." She said and looked at me but I was looking down.
She went to put her hand on my face but I flinched and moved away from her.
"You've been through hell have you sweetie?" She whispered.
I looked down and looked away from her and walked away and went upstairs and spent the rest of my time in Jacks room until he came home.

"Hey Lex." Jack said as he walked into his room.
My back was too the door and I sniffed loudly.
Well I dramatically failed at covering the fact I have been crying all morning pretty much.
"Lex what's the matter?" Jack asked and walked over to the bed and sat on it.
I rolled over and faced him.
"I don't know what to do anymore." I whispered and sniffed.
"What do you mean by that?" Jack asked.
"Whether to run away, get fucked so hard I can barley walk for a week, to cut or kill myself." I said and whispered the last part.
"Lex.." Jack said but I sat up and hugged my knees.

"I want to tell you something." Jack said and sat up next to me.
I looked at him and he only had a T-shirt on and he had scars on his arms.
"You self harmed?" I asked quietly.
"Yeah." He said quietly and looked at his scars.
"Why?" I asked.
"It was when Jake and Lily came. Bless them they had it tough and they was finding it hard to settle in so I went to stay with my grandparents for a while. I was close to them and a week after I left they was in am accident and they died." He said and sniffed.
I did something I normally didn't do and I pulled Jack to my side and gave him some sort of hug.
"I started because I couldn't cope with what happened to them and the fact it wasn't just me, mum and dad anymore. I couldn't go to them because they was busy with Jake and Lily and in my mind they was more important than me. I blamed myself for what happened and it resulted in these." He said and lifted his arm up which of course I flinched a little.
"I'm not ashamed of them you know. In my eyes their like battle scars, I thought a war with my mind and I won it. I beat my demons, now I'm going to help you Lex." He said and looked at me.
I looked away from him.
I felt him put his hand on my cheek and made me look at him.
"You have to trust me Lex. I have been down the whole self harming line. I might not have done the whole street life but I wont to know what its like." He said and I made eye contact with him.
"Okay then. Tonight me and you are on the streets." I said seriously.
Jack looked at me.
"Get your shit we need to find somewhere." I said and walked out the room.

Notes

is anyone actually reading this or am I wasting my time...