Baby, I Will Be Your Everything

"Mm." I mumbled, prying my tired eyes open.

I swallowed thickly, frowning at the pounding in my head while my stomach churned. Sunlight lit up my room, making me groan and close my burning eyes again. I sniffed dryly, moving my arm out to find the space beside me empty again. Opening my eyes, I found wrinkled sheets from where Alex was laying last night. I frowned, moving to sit up as fast as my body could move after just waking up.

I wiped the sleep from the corners of my eyes and rubbed my itchy nose while I waited for my eyes to adjust. Once I could see clearly, I glanced at my alarm clock and furrowed my eyebrows. Where the hell would Alex be at eleven in the morning? Shrugging to myself, I stood up and cleared my dry throat. The sick feeling in my stomach grew worse as my sinuses acted up, reminding me of why I was crying so much.

Shaking my head, I pushed all of my thoughts to the back of my mind and walked out of my room quietly. I breathed in, coughing when my nose felt clogged. Rolling my eyes, I walked down the steps and trudged into the kitchen for some much needed water. I yawned loudly, looking around the kitchen to see Mom standing at the counter.

"Good morning." She greeted as I walked to the fridge. "How are you feeling?"

I bit my lip, pulling the door open and grabbing a water. I untwisted the cap and slowly took a few gulps before I shut the fridge. Once my throat felt less dry, I walked around the island and plopped down on a stool gently with a shrug.

"Jack-" She sighed while I drank another sip of water.

"I feel fine." I interrupted, blinking slowly. "Why would I be any different?"

She raised her eyebrows, nodding silently as she accepted my response. It's true isn't it? I'm still the same person. I just found out I have some extras inside of me that can and will probably be avoided for the rest of my life. I'm not going to risk losing Alex by telling him. I can't. He means way too much to me and there is no way I'd be able to handle it if he were to leave me because of it.

"You were just so upset last night and I know it was a lot to take in, but-"

"Really, Mom." I stopped her, shaking my head. "I don't want to talk about it. If anything, I want to pretend we never had that conversation."

"Jack." She frowned, leaning in front of me. "Why would you want that? This is nothing to be ashamed of. I told you-"

"I know what you said." I cut in, biting my lip. "I'm just-I'm okay with it. I'm just never going to be in that position and I'm okay with that too. I just want this to stay between us, if that's okay?"

I ignored the way her frown deepened as she stared at me silently. I'm not trying to hurt her or Dad or Grandpa, but I'd really like to pretend this part of me didn't exist. I'm glad I know to be more careful, but I think I was better off not knowing. Just thinking about it makes my stress levels rise. I can't lose Alex because of some weird fucked up family genetic thingy.

"Okay, Jack. Whatever you want to do, it's your choice." She sighed, pushing off of the counter and walking back over to the stove. "Would you like a BLT?"

I swallowed thickly, pushing the weird guilt I suddenly feel as far away as I can.

"Yes, please." I told her, stomach gurgling.

I frowned, biting my lip. It's my body so it's my choice to keep it locked away. Why do I feel guilty for keeping it to myself? I shouldn't feel bad for not wanting to chance losing Alex. He's unpredictable sometimes and finding out your boyfriend is like...internally disfigured? Mutated? Whatever this thing is. I'm not sure how I would feel if I found out Alex could get pregnant. Okay scratch that, that's not a good example to think about because of course I would love him no matter what and even if Alex was in my position, he wouldn't be getting pregnant. He doesn't take, he gives.

"Jack."

I shook out of my thoughts, looking in front of me to see Mom again. This time she had a plate in her hands that she was sliding over to me. I looked down at the toasted bread, feeling my stomach twist uncomfortably.

"Thanks." I managed to get out through the thick spit flowing towards my teeth.

"Honey, you don't look so good." She said worriedly, leaning over enough to brush her hand over my forehead. "You're not warm."

I shook my head, swallowing everything down and taking another sip of water.

"I'm just hungry." I told her, picking up the sandwich. "I haven't eaten since before that bonfire thing."

"Oh yeah." She agreed. "You slept for a long time too."

I nodded, taking a bite. I moaned, the taste of bacon and sourcream making my mouth water. I chewed quickly, taking another large bite eagerly. The bread was at the perfect crisp, the tomato was fresh and juicy along with the lettuce, and the bacon. Oh, the bacon was crispy and amaziing.

"This is the best thing I've ever eaten." I groaned, shocking myself because I never talk with my mouth full.

Mom chuckled, pushing a napkin towards me along with a glass of Cranberry juice.

"You sound like Alex." She noted, motioning towards the glass. "Drink that too. You need fluids to make you feel better since you didn't drink much yesterday."

I nodded, swallowing thickly and taking a sip of the juice to help wash it down.

"Speaking of Alex, where is he?" I asked, noticing how quiet the house is.

"Well, he dropped Lauren off at the mall for me and said something about going to the bank and maybe the gas station." She informed. "He was already down here when I got up this morning. Shocked the hell out of me."

I frowned, taking another bite of my sandwich. I chewed slowly, staring down at all of the crumbs falling on my plate. Why wouldn't he wake me up if he got up so early? More importantly, why would he take Lauren to the mall so early? He should've been sleeping still. I always wake up before he does.

"Jack, hun. You're losing your sandwich." Mom warned, bringing my focus on to the tomato falling from my half eaten BLT.

"Oops." I mumbled, dropping everything back on the plate and using my napkin to wipe my fingers off.

"Why do you look so down?" She interrogated.

"He just never goes anywhere without me." I shrugged, picking at the fallen tomato. "I just don't know why he didn't wake me up."

"You had a rough night. He knew that." She added, moving over to the sink to wash out the pan.

I sighed, taking one last bite from my sandwich. I breathed in through my nose, ignoring the full feeling in my tummy as I swallowed. Pushing the plate away, I took another few sips of the juice before pushing that aside too.

"I'll get that." She called over her should when I slid off of the stool.

"Thanks, Mommy." I smiled, wiping my mouth on my shirt.

She waved me off with a smile and I chuckled lightly. The tense atmosphere from earlier fading and making me feel normal again. I smiled to myself and walked into the foyer, jogging back up the steps and to my room. I smiled at the half cleaned floor, ignoring the mess on the other side and making my bed instead. Once it was done, I stripped out of my pjs and dropped them in the hamper before moving over to my dresser. I pulled the second drawer open and sighed, grabbing the first shirt I laid eyes on. I shrugged, pulling the white t-shirt over my head and immediately rolled up the sleeves a few times. Once I was satisfied, I opened my bottom drawer and pulled out a pair of light blue jean shorts. I slipped them up my legs, biting my lip at the snug fit over my thighs. I breathed in, zipping and buttoning them up with a little bit of a struggle.

"What the fuck?" I grumbled, pulling them a little higher over my hips.

I rolled my eyes, noticing the shirt stopping just above my belly button. How the hell did one of Lauren's shirts get into my dresser? I sighed, shrugging it off and closing my drawers. I don't give a shit if I'm wearing her shirt. I ruffled my hair, licking my lips while I walked out of my room and to the bathroom. After brushing my teeth, I combed my hair out and teased it like I usually do. Once I was satisfied with the amount of hairspray I put in it, I looked myself up and down in the mirror. The skinny jean shorts are definitely more snug than they were last fall. My ass can barely breathe.

"Hm." I hummed to myself, pressing my hands to my exposed midriff.

I frowned, turning to the side. I moved my hands over my lower stomach, stopping when they reached my hips. Looking over at the mirror, my stomach gave another ache from being too full. I sighed, glaring a hole into the glass where I landed on the slight bump sticking out of my thin stomach. It was barely there, but you could definitely tell I'm bloated by looking at me.

"Jack! Could you run out to my car and grab the box of vaccum bags in the trunk?!"

I sighed, pulling my jean shorts up a little more in attempt to cover my bloat.

"Jack?!"

"Okay!" I called back, flicking the light back off.

I tugged at the hem of the shirt, feeling a little self-conscious as I walked down the hall. I shook my head at myself, jogging down the steps and opening the front door.

"Everyone gets bloated." I muttered to myself, walking out on to the porch.

I huffed, hurrying down the drieway to where her jeep was parked. I hissed at the burning cement, pulling the trunk open as fast as I could. I looked around the clean trunk, finding the small box under a random blanket. I flipped the blanket off and grabbed the box, slamming the trunk shut when I heard loud bass from behind me. I turned around to see Alex park along the curb. A wave of giddyness hit me and I almost wanted to squeal when he got out of the car. I bit my lip, watching him walk around the car to get on the end of the driveway. Long, red joggers clung to his legs while a sleeveless, black zip-up vest covered his chest. I licked my lips, taking in his toned arms as he got closer.

"Hey babe." He greeted, juggling his lanyard and wallet in one hand while the other hand held an envelope.

"Alex!" I cheered, almost letting out the squeal as I ran down to meet him.

I dropped the box of vaccum bags, catching him off guard as I leaped into his arms. I wrapped my arms and legs around him tightly, feeling him stumble back a bit after he caught me.

"Shit, Jack." He chuckled. "A warning would've been nice."

"I called your name." I informed, digging my face into his neck.

I inhaled his musky scent, moaning quietly at how good it is. I held on tighter, feeling him awkwardly shove everything into his pockets before his hands were on the back of my thighs and hoisting me up better.

"Mm, miss me?" He asked, nudging my head with his chin.

I breathed him in again, not able to hold in my smile when I moved to face him. I looked into his tired eyes, blushing at the amused expression on his face while I nodded.

"You're fucking cute." He chuckled, making me blush harder. "Missin' me n'shit."

"You're never gone before I wake up on your days off." I shrugged, moving a hand to ruffle his messy hair.

"I wanted you to get a good sleep." He apologized. "You feeling better?"

"It's okay." I smiled pushing the thoughts of last night away after he brought it up before leaning down and pecking his lips. "I am."

"Mm." He hummed, keeping his lips puckered.

I rolled my eyes fondly, pressing a firmer kiss to his lips. I smiled into it, feeling him do the same before I pulled away.

"It's hard to kiss you when you're smiling." I giggled.

"Then stop smiling." He chuckled, tightening his grip on my thighs. "You make me smile when you smile."

"Jack?"

I jumped, pulling away and turning to look behind us. I blushed, detangling myself from Alex with his help before I turned to face Mom standing on the porch with her arms crossed.

"Hey Ma." Alex greeted.

"Hey, Alex." She laughed, pointing to the box on the ground. "I need those to be in here, Jack. Not on the grass."

"Sorry." I said sheepishly, picking them up and hugging them against my chest.

I stepped forward, burning my feet on the cement where the sun beamed over it. I gasped, hopping on to the grass and jogging back up to the porch while Alex laughed behind me.

"Shut up, I'm not wearing shoes." I whined, holding the box out to Mom's open arms.

She rolled her eyes at me, smiling as she took the box before she turned around and headed back into the house.

"I'll be cleaning upstairs!" She called over her shoulder before she closed the door.

Once she was out of sight, I turned back to Alex and watched him walk back down to his car. I giggled, hurrying back across the grass until I was standing beside him.

"What're you doing?" I asked, watching him pop his trunk open.

I cleared my throat, ignoring the tinge of sadness passing through me when I looked over his trunk full of stuff. I watched him dig through some clothes for a minute, finally pulling a tangled cord out. That's when I noticed a familiar sticker, now visible due to some of the mess getting moved from all of his pulling.

"Getting my charger so I can stop using everyone else's." He chuckled, wrapping it over his shoulder.

"Baby." I called out, stopping him as he moved to close the trunk.

"Huh?" He hummed, looking over at me.

"Is that what I think it is?" I asked, pointing to where the worn band stickers sat.

He sighed, slamming the trunk closed silently.

"Alex, baby." I continued. "Play me something? Please?"

"I haven't touched the thing in months." He retorted, shaking his head at me.

"Please?" I pouted, rubbing my hands over my exposed stomach. "I really wanna hear you."

I mustered up my best puppy dog face, even going as far as to hold my hands under my chin. He stared at me for a soild five seconds before he was letting out a long sigh. I clapped, knowing I would get to him. That face gets him every time.

"You always get your fucking way." He grumbled, popping the trunk open again.

"You love me." I cooed, biting back my grin when he dug deeper into the clothes.

"Yeah. I do." He agreed, pulling out the worn guitar case with little struggle. "A fucking lot."

I smiled stupidly, feeeling my heart flutter along with butterflies all throughout my stomach. I kept the smile on my face, watching him swing the strap over his shoulder and slam the trunk closed again.

"Why're you smiling like that?" He asked, raising an eyebrow as we turned to walk back up to the house.

"Because you make me so happy." I answered, grinning when he pushed the door open and stepped aside for me to step in first.

"Fuckin' dweeb." He chuckled, closing the door behind us.

I rolled my eyes, walking through the foyer and into the kitchen. The sound of the vaccum rang through the house and I groaned, dragging my feet into the family room and over to the sectional. I plopped down into the cozy cushions, slouching back lazily while Alex walked in a few seconds later. I smiled, ignoring the annoying roar of the vaccum as he set the guitar case in front of the tv.

"Mm." He hummed, walking over to me and leaning over the edge of the couch.

I closed my eyes at his intoxicationg scent, listening to his charger pop into the wall quietly. Licking my lips, I opened my eyes and watched him move to sit beside me.

"Will you lay with me?" He asked tiredly, tugging my elbow.

"Yeah, baby." I smiled, rolling my eyes as he pulled me down with him anyway.

I moved in front of him, waiting until he stopped moving to lay beside him. I let my head rest on his left arm while his right draped over my waist, pulling me back until I was pressed against him. I bit my lip, loving the butterflies still flipping around at the small action.

"You look so good right now." He mumbled into the back of my head.

Chills ran done my spine at the husky tone his voice took on along with the way his breath hit my skin.

"Not today." I corrected. "I'm wearing one of Lauren's shirts because it was in the dresser and I'm so fucking bloated I look like I'm getting fat."

"Bullshit." He retored, trailing his hand down so it was resting along my ass. "If I wasn't so tired I'd have you bent over in a second."

"Alex!" I hissed, feeling him grope me roughly.

I slapped his hand, grabbing his wrist and forcing his arm to rest over my stomach.

"If you want me to lay here with you, you better behave yourself." I scolded.

"I can't keep my hands off you." He muttered, sliding his hand more towards my thigh.

"Alex." I warned, smiling when he dragged his hand back up to my stomach.

"Don't fucking call yourself fat or anything like that." He mumbled, nuzzling his face in the back of my head. "I don't like that shit. S'not true."

I rolled my eyes, heaving a sigh when I noticed the weather channel playing on the tv. Damn Mom and her need to watch the dumbest channels in existence. I looked around, eyes catching on something black standing out on the light wooden floor. I leaned forward a bit, grinning at my luck when I found the remote on the floor. I moved forward, leaning down to grab it when Alex pulled me back into him roughly.

"Lex!" I gasped, not expecting the pull. "I'm trying to get the fucking remote!"

"Mm." He huffed, raising his arm.

"Chill." I chuckled, scooping the remote up and hurriedly cuddling back into him. "There."

"Sto'fuckin' movin' now." He ordered hoarsly, draping his arm back over me.

"Okay, Dad." I scoffed sarcastically.

"I'll be your daddy." He husked.

"Ew, that's fucking disgusting." I whined, nudging him with my elbow.

I rolled my eyes when I got no response and turned my attention to the tv. I aimed the remote towards it, skimming through the channel guide quicker than I intended. I groaned, finding nothing good on and exiting from it. I sighed loudly, biting my lip impatiently as I attempted to get Alex's attention. I muted the tv, sighing obnoxiously loud again only to feel and hear his heavy breathing against my neck. I slouched, relaxing back against him as I stared at the tv in boredom. I stared for another five minutes, feeling my eyes start to burn. I scowled, picking the remote up and clicking on Netflix.
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"Jack?"

I jumped, opening my eyes to find Mom leaning over me. I coughed, holding my hand over my rapidly beating heart.

"Jesus, Mom." I croaked out, wiping the corners of my burning eyes.

"I didn't think you'd fall asleep." She defended with a soft laugh, brushing my hair from my face. "I just wanted to see if you and Alex want to go out to dinner tonight? Dad and I decided we would go to Olive Garden."

I hummed, feeling my stomach rumble at the tought of pasta from Olive Garden. And salad. And breadsticks.

"Yeah." I nodded, letting out a silent yawn.

I cleared my throat, feeling a lot more awake after rubbing my eyes again. Wow I didn't mean to fall asleep. I wasn't even tired earlier.

"Wake Alex up. Lauren's ready to be picked up from the mall so Dad and I are gonna go get her." She told.

"Okay." I nodded.

"You and Alex can meet us there?" She asked.

"Mhm." I hummed, trying to move out of Alex's tight grip.

"Okay, see you soon." She smiled, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "Make sure Alex gets up."

"I will." I mumbled, watching her leave before attempting to roll out of his hold again.

I groaned, feeling his grip tighten more.

"Alex." I called loudly, scoffing in annoyance when I went ignored.

I heaved a sigh, pressing my warm body back against his a little harder than I normally would. He grunted, slipping his right knee in the small gap between my legs. I gasped, the light pressure against my ass all too familiar. I bit my lip, grabbing his wrist in my hand and feeling his grip loosen. I sucked in a breath, carefully moving his hand to my hip as I tried to turn as much as I can.

"Alex." I called, louder than before.

His fingers tightened on my hip before he pressed pulled me into him pretty hard for being asleep. I bit my lip, shaking his side roughly when I felt my own pants getting tighter. I breathed in deeply, trying to keep my hormones in check. It's a little hard when we haven't really been intimate like that for a while, not counting the other night. I can't remember much passed Lauren seeing us making out.

"Mm." He mumbled, fingers fumbling with the thick waistband of my shorts.

"Alex." I repeated, shaking his side again.

"Ugh." He groaned, moving his hand from my waistband.

"Wake up, babe." I told softly, biting my lip as I pushed back gently.

"Mhm." He hummed. "Wha'?"

"It's after five." I told him, licking my lips. "Mom went to get Lauren and we're supposed to meet them at Olive Garden."

He cleared his throat, giving me a sign that he's actually awake now.

"Have a nice dream?" I smirked, slowly moving to stand to my feet.

I barely got my feet on the ground before my body was getting shoved into the joined side of the sectional. I gased, forcing my arms out from under me while my chest was pushed against the cool cushions.

"Alex! What the fuck!" I exclaimed, ignoring the way I seemed to strain against my shorts.

His hands trailed up my sides before he was gripping my hips and tugging me up on my knees. I gulped, holding myself up with my arms as I looked over my shoulder. I gawked at Alex's blown eyes, biting my lip when he gripped my ass roughly.

"Mm, we'lone?" He grunted groggily.

"Yeah." I choked out. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Lemme have you." He breathed, lazily kissing down my back. "Lookin' fine as hell."

"Alex..." I trailed off, biting back my moan when he groped me again. "We gotta meet everyone for dinner."

"Shit, babe." He whispered, leaning over me until his chest was against my back. "You let me have you in my fave position in m'dream."

I gulped, trying to ignore the effect his boner was having on me as he pressed it over my ass. My eyes fluttered closed, nervous butterflies filling my gut. We can't have sex right now. Not when I know what's inside of me.

"I'll let you take me when we get back." I bargained, biting my lip when his left hand trailed the inside of my thigh.

"Think you wan'it now, sexy." He teased, squeezing the bulge in my shorts lightly.

I moaned, pushing back against him as I leaned on my elbows. He grunted, bringing his hand down on my covered ass hard. I gasped, closing my eyes as the heat took over my nerves. I opened them, biting my lip as I tried to keep my gaze over my shoulder.

"Wait." I blurted, leaning into him as his hands moved to undo my pants.

"What?" He panted quietly, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Condoms." I blurted, feeling my face flush when he scruched his face up.

"Huh?" He mumbled, voice laced with confusion.

"Use a condom." I repeated, making him scrunch up his face again.

"We always bareback." He commented, grinding down lightly. "Fuck."

"Not now." I demanded, stomach fluttering at the tone my voice took on. "I don't want your cum getting all over..."

"Jack." He whined, pressing his forehead into my back gently. "Don't fucking tell me this right now. Not when I'm ready to fucking go to town on you."

I opened my mouth, moaning quietly when he ground down roughly. I bit my lip, gripping the fabric of the cushions in pleasure. He yanked my shorts down, making me comes back to my senses as worries filled me.

"Alex-" I panted, watching him tug his pants down quickly. "We need-I need you to wear a condom-"

"We don't have any." He muttered, waving his hand before shoving his hand in between my side and the cushions.

I moaned, watching through hazy vision as he tugged out another one of our hidden lube bottles before it disappeared behind me.

"Al-we can't-" I struggled to get out, feeling his lubed fingers circle my entrance. "I don't want your cum in me."

"You love when I cum in you." He husked, shoving two fingers in at once.

"Oh." I choked out, gripping the couch harder. "Not today."

"I'll pull out." He mumbled, adding his third finger.

"You fucking better, Alex." I warned, biting my lip at the slight burn of his scissoring fingers.

"Yeah yeah, the fucks wrong with you?" He questioned, pulling his fingers out and wiping them on his shirt.

I gulped, nervous butterflies fluttering through me intensely while I watched him move to position himself from over my shoulder. I bit my lip, all of the thoughts from earlier coming back to me. Guilt twisted around my gut, making me feel slightly sick as he pushed in hard.

"Oh fuck." I whispered, letting my head drop as everything was pushed to the back of my mind.

The only thing I could focus on was Alex and feeling him all over me.

"Fuck, been wanting you all day." He grunted in relief, gripping my hips tightly as up a rythmn.

I gasped, spreading my legs further to help him get deeper. He grunted, slamming into me roughly right into where I needed him to be. My mouth dropped open in a silent cry and I felt my back arch at the hot pleasure piercing through me.

"Uh!" I moaned loudly, gasping when he continued to hit the right spot.

"Mm." He grunted, sliding his hands over my ass. "Fuck."

I gripped the cushins tightly, closing my eyes as I dropped my face down into the couch. I choked on my breath, feeling the tingles shooting through me grow stronger. I panted roughly, trying to catch my breath between the loud moans ripping through my throat. It feels so good to be loud. All I can focus on is Alex, me, this feeling of us being one. It's so good being with him like this and every other way possible. I feel like I'm high. I'm intoxicated by him.

"Oh fuck." I whimpered, feeling my legs ache. "Alex!"

I gasped, whining when he pulled out. I bit my lip, pushing myself up on my hands to look over my shoulder through my clouded eyes only for him to nudge my ass.

"Turn over." He ordered hoarsly.

I nodded, hurriedly rolling on to my back. I bit my lip in anticipation, staring him down as he re-positioned himself. I whined, lifting my hips impatiently. He hummed, pushing back in without another second. I gasped, arching up into him as he laid over me. His hands moved up beside my head and before I could open my mouth, he was going faster and harder than before. I threw my head back, ignoring the pain in my head when it smacked into the arm of the couch. Instead, I clutched at Alex's back, bunching his vest up in my hands tightly. I closed my thighs around him, barely registering the uncomfortable burn of the zipper of his vest rubbing against my stomach. All I care about right now is how fucking hard he's giving it to me.

"Oh yeah! Oh, oh, harder! Give it to me!" I screamed, bunching up more of the thin material of his vest. "Uh! Alex!"

I cried out, trying to bite my lip to stifle the sounds. I could barely make out the couch shaking with us over our heavy panting and my moans. I've lost all fucking control of what's coming out of my mouth at this point.

"I'm gon-gonna cu-cum." I choked out, clenching my thighs around him harder instinctively.

"Yeah." He grunted, moving a hand down to push my right leg up.

I whimpered as he got in deeper, feeling my vision white out as my eyes rolled to the back of my head. I tensed, feeling the intense heat burn through my gut while my whole body clung to him for life.

"Oh shit, baby." I slurred.

It felt so good to get it rougher than usual. I can feel the tension leaving my body with every thrust and I don'twant it to end, but I feel it hapening.

"Alex-" I choked out incoherently, barely able to breathe as my orgasm hit me out of nowhere.

I pulled him down by the neck, forcing our lips together to catch the sounds escaping my throat. I held him tightly, clenching around him harshly as I pulled away from his lips with a loud pop. I moaned, clenching my thighs as my vision blurred from over-stimulation when he continued fucking me at his fast pace.

"Jack-oh fuck yeah." He groaned, grabbing hold on my sides and stilling. "Oh fuck yeah."

I closed my eyes, feeling my body relax as he plopped down on top of me. I breathed in deeply, blinking a few times until it didn't feel like I was looking around in slow motion. Once I came down from the temporary high, realization of what I just did washed over me and my whole body tensed.

"Alex!" I hissed, shoving his shoulders.

"Ow, what the fuck?" He grumbled, rolling off of me.

I sat up right when his weight was gone and stood up, immediately running my hands over the back of my thighs. My heart stopped at the sticky substance my fingers grazed and before I knew it I was leaning over the couch and slapping my hand over Alex's exposed stomach hard.

"What the fuck, Jack!" He exclaimed, holding his hand over the reddening area.

"I told you to fucking pull out." I snapped, grabbing my shorts from the ground.

I grimaced as I used them to wipe my legs down before grabbing my boxers and slipping them back on.

"You had me locked in!" He defended, pulling his pants back up and sitting up right. "What the fucks wrong with you?"

I frowned, feeling my eyes water. What the fucks wrong with me? That's probably exactly what I'd hear if I told him that I have eggs inside of me. Wait. I have eggs inside of me. Fucking eggs! And I just got fucked unprotected.

"Oh." I breathed, trying to calm myself down when a weird dizzy sensation took over me.

"Jack." Alex called, looking me over as he stood up.

I coughed, holding my hand over my chest while my heart raced. Panicked thoughts continued racing to the front of my brain while I looked around slowly through blurring vision. I held my hands out, feeling myself stumble a little.

"Jay-"

I gasped, watching the room spin around me until I was looking straight at Alex's face again. His mouth was moving, but I coudn't hear anything. All I could hear was my buzzing over the pounding in my heart while my chest burned. Oh God, what's happening to me? Why can't I see straight? Why does it sound like I'm underwater?

"Jack."

I sucked in a fast breath, feeling my heart beat faster when I heard Alex's yell. I blinked, coughing harshly when I met Alex's frantic eyes. He grabbed my face in his hands and forced me to keep my eyes on him.

"Breath with me." He told loudly.

I opened my mouth, feeling my teeth shaking as I tried to breathe in more air. I looked into his eyes, feeling myself hyperventilate at the look on his face.

"Listen to me." He directed. "One...two. One..two..um-"

I nodded, squeezing my eyes shut while I shakily breathed in with his counting. I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay. I copied him a few more times, thankful for my ability to talk myself down until my head grew silent. I breathed in relief, feeling my heart calming down and the aching in my chest ease up considerably. I moved my hands to my face and wiped my eyes, feeling strangely calm and normal again after that little breakdown.

"I'm sorry." I croaked out, taking in another slow breath before I allowed myself to look at Alex.

I found him kneeling in front of me with his eyes closed while his hands gripped my bare knees. I cleared my dry throat, biting my lip when I realized I wasn't the one shaking.

"Alex." I spoke dryly, grabbing his shoulders. "Baby, I'm okay."

I shook him slightly, forcing him to open his eyes and nod at me uncoordinatedly.

"Calm down, Lex. I'm good." I expressed as calmly as I could.

I stood up, feeling lightheaded for only a second before I slid on to the ground next to where he plopped down. I grabbed his jaw and hurriedly pressed my lips to his to keep his breathing from picking up. I held us there until I couldn't breathe anymore and pulled away with a heavy pant.

"Mm...." He mumbled, moving to cradle his head between his knees.

"It's okay, baby. You're okay. I'm okay." I cooed, rubbing my hand between his shoulder blades.

"I didn'no what'a do..." He trailed off, breathing heavily.

I nodded, glancing around the room. I sighed in relief, finding a water bottle on the table next to where Alex's phone is. I stood up and walked over to it, swiping it from the small table and rushing back to him. Untwisting it as fast as I could, I brought it up to my lips and drank a few sips to soothe my dried throat.

"Alex." I called, feeling a lot more refreshed.

He looked up, taking the bottle held out to him with his shaking hand. I held my fingers over his, frowning as the fidgeting continued while I helped him drink some. He pushed it back towards me after a minute and let out a shaky sigh, shaking his head at me and running his hands over his face.

"Fuckin' hell, Jack." He sighed.

"I don't know what happened to me." I explained honestly. "That's never happened to me before."

I bit my lip, furrowing my eyebrows. I've never experienced an attack before, but the way Alex has described them to me makes me think that could have been at least the start of one. It was nowhere near as bad as Alex can get sometimes. Guilt washed over me and I bit my lip harder, moving to grab Alex's hand in my free hand.

"I didn't mean to scare you, babe. I'm sorry." I whispered. "I don't know what came over me."

"No fuckin' kiddin'." He muttered, slowly moving to stand up. "We jus'ad some great sex and that happens."

I licked my lips, cringing when he dropped my hand to cross his arms. I watched silently, not liking the tense atmosphere surrounding us. Sighing, I put the cap back on the water and set it next to me.

"What the fuck was all that?" He demanded, almost as tense as he was a minute ago. "And don't fucking tell me nothing."

"Don't yell at me." I told him, picking at my fingers nervously. "And it is nothing."

Anxious butterflies flew through me, but there is no way I can tell him I freaked out over potentially nothing. I mean, how many other times have we had sex like this? I ended up fine everytime so I will this time. Maybe my body doesn't work like Grandpa Joel's. Maybe I'm actually not like him and they just think I am. I surely would've gotten pregant already if I was, right? I can't believe I almost spurred him into his own anxiety attack. It was stupid to get so worked up like that. He doesn't even know, it's my fault it even happened. I shuddered, just the thought of babies making me feel uneasy.

"You're lying to me." He laughed humorlessly, rubbing his hand over his eyes.

"I don't want to talk about this right now." I argued, shaking my head lightly. "Not when you're on the verge-"

"Don't start that shit, Jack. It only fucking happened because I didn't know how to help you." He snapped.

"Cut the attitude, okay?" I frowned. "I'm okay."

"You just had a fucking panic attack, Jack." He exclaimed incredulously. "A fucking panic attack over me cumming up your ass like I do every other day?"

"Alex, please." I sighed, runninng my hand through my hair before I slowly got to my feet. "I need to get pants on and we need to meet everyone at Olive Garden. We should've already been there by now. She'll be calling any minute-"

"Can you stop fucking avoiding the subject?" He groaned. "What the fuck is going on? You never freak out like that."

"There's nothing wrong." I answered quickly, biting my cheek when he stared at me intensely. "Seriously, we need to leave now."

"I'm not fucking stupid Jack." He deadpanned. "What is it? Did I do something? Did you not want to have sex with me?"

"No!" I exclaimed, shaking my head frantically. "It's nothing about you. It's me, okay. Everything's fine. I love having sex with you. I just thought back to last night for a minute."

"Why the hell would you be thinking about last night after some hot sex?" He scoffed.

"I don't know!" I exclaimed, raising my hands up before dropping them back to my sides. "I just had a serious talk with my mom, okay?"

"Okay, well if it's something serious then why the fuck am I in the dark?" He interrogated, standing up in front of me.

"You're not in the-oh my God. Why can't you just understand that I don't want to talk about it? We need to leave, babe." I stressed, running my hands through my hair roughly. "I'm fine, we're fine-"

"We're not fucking fine. If we were you wouldn't be over there freaking out." He disagreed, pointing his finger at me. "Since when do you not want to talk to me about anything? What the fuck, Jack?"

"I don't need to talk about it. Can we please go now?" I exasperated, feeling my stomach churn more violently.

He rolled his eyes, slumping his shoulders as he crossed his arms again. I frowned, looking to the entryway and back to him while thinking about running to get clean pants.

"Can we just talk about it tonight?" I pleaded, hoping for just a little more time to come up with something. "Everyone is probably waiting-"

"I want you to fucking tell me now." He told calmly, keeping his intense stare on me. "I don't give a shit if they'e waiting. We can tell them I wouldn't wake up."

"Alex." I sighed, feeling nauseous all of the sudden.

"I'm getting fucking pissed now." He warned, biting his lip. "You're making me fucking nervous and shit and it feels like you're hiding something from me. What fucking happened to no secrets between us?"

I groaned, brushing my hands through my hair while I managed to speak without a filter for once in my life.

"Yeah? That's what I was thinking when-" I stopped abruptly, biting my tongue hard enough to draw blood.

I stared at my toes, not daring to look up and face him after what I almost let slip through my lips. I licked my dry lips, glancing up to see him move over to unplug his phone silently.

"Baby, I didn't mean that-" I started, only for him to hold his hand up.

"Whatever Jack, just get some fucking pants on. I'll be in the car." He muttered, avoiding my gaze.

I bit my lip, nodding as I watched him walk out of the room. I slumped my shoulders, feeling tears well up in my eyes as I scooped up my dirty shorts. I sniffled, trying to hold it in as I ran to my room quickly. I tossed the shorts into the basket and moved over to the dresser, tugging the bottom drawer open. I bit my quivering lip, trying to ignore the shame filling me as I pulled out a pair of ripped skinny jeans from the top. I blinked, unable to keep the frown off of my face as thick tears dripped down my cheeks.

I sniffled, tugging the tight grey material up my legs and over my hips. I buttoned them up, whimpering more at the snug fit. How the fuck can I still be bloated? Painful flips hit my stomach and I was up and out of my room in seconds, racing down the hall just in time to puke my guts up in the toilet. I squeezed my eyes shut, letting myself gag harshly for a few minutes before everything was out. I flushed the toilet, forcing myself to my feet and over to the sink to wash my mouth out. Once I was finished, I bit my lip and stared at myself in the mirror. Bloodshot eyes and a pale face looked back at me, hot drops slipping down my cheeks as a fresh set of tears hit me.

Fuck, how could I be such an asshole?

Notes