Baby, I Will Be Your Everything

"Well, don't you look cute?" Mom asked rhetorically, peeking over my shoulder. "Mm, smells good."

I bit my lip, glancing down at the new clothes I decided to wear. The short-sleeved, thin black and white stripped crop top hung loosely over my torso and rested over most of my stomach lightly while the new black jeggings clung to my legs and hips comfortably. So much better than my actual jeans. I smiled softly, staring down at the barely noticable bump in my stomach covered partially by my waistband.

"It's just ramen." I commented, stirring the brick of noodles in the boiling water. "And thanks."

"I don't know what it is with you and your sister liking the half shirts." She tsked, moving around me to get to the coffee pot. "I gues they're in style, huh?"

"Yep." I shrugged, setting my fork down on the stove to wait for the noodles to soften. "They're cute and comfy."

"You know, I really wish I would see Jessica around more." She noted, changing the subject as she ganced out through the wide window above the sink.

I sighed, nodding in agreement while I looked outside with her. Lauren came into my line of vision, running across the yard and diving into the pool with Maddison right behind her. I grimaced at the black, stringy bikini tied around Maddison's body when she pulled herself back on the ledge, feeling it grow when Lauren got up beside her.

"How did she get you to let her buy that?" I wondered, motioning to the pink bikini almost as bad as Maddion's. "She doesn't even have a chest to hold it up yet."

"Having no chest in a revealing bikini is better than having too big of a chest." She pointed out, shrugging at me as she poured her coffee. "Besides, it's only Maddison seeing her. Not that guy she's been talking to so I'm fine with it."

"Speaking of Derek," I started, biting back my grin when he mouth fell into a light scowl. "What's going on with him? I haven't heard anything since we went to the movies."

"They're texting all day long, I can tell you that much." She informed, leaning her back against the sink as she looked at me. "What about you, huh? What's going on between you and Alex?"

I sighed, turning back to the stove. I shrugged, leaning forward to switch the burner off before I moved the pot off of the heat.

"It's been two days since you told me you were going to talk to me." She reminded, clicking her tongue. "Don't you think I forgot. You should know better."

I nodded slowly, letting out a hum while I poured the powdery chicken flavoring into the steaming pot. I shook the packet until every last bit was out, sucking my cheeks in as I procrastinated just a few more seconds.

"Jack." She deadpanned.

"Yeah, well." I sighed, nervous butterflies flipping through me. "Um. I wanted to talk about Lauren and Derek."

"I want to talk about you and Alex since you two are under my roof." She reasoned, raising the white mug to her lips.

I sighed, attempting to hide my shaking fingers as I mixed the broth. Breathing in deeply, the chicken flavor I've been craving shot up my nose. Instead of moaning at the goodness, I shocked myself when I dropped the fork in order to cover my mouth.

"Jack?" Mom panicked, watching me gag harshly for a few seconds before I calmed down.

"'m okay." I choked out, wiping the corners of my eyes with my sweating palms.

"What happened? Do you feel sick?" She shot out, jumping forward to press her hand over my forehead. "You don't feel too warm."

I frowned at her worries because she's freaking out over nothing. Sighing, I shook my head. I can feel the words on the tip of my tongue just dying to slip out, but I can't. I promised Alex I would wait the other night. He's still acting so weird about it and I understand his feelings, but at the same time I need him to just accept it. This baby isn't going away and it's like he doesn't realize that. Part of me feels like he keeps making me hold off the talk with Mom and Dad because he's still in shock or he's really hoping I'll change my mind. Probably the latter, but I'm hopeful to the thought of him still being in shock.

"No, Mom." I mumbled, pushing her hand away. "I swallowed my spit wrong."

"That wasn't you choking, Jack." She scoffed incredulously. "You almost threw up."

"It happens sometimes." I waved off, grabbing the fork to start stirring again.

I jumped, not expecting the loud vibrations along the counter beside the stove. I shook the fork off, setting it back next to the pot before swiping my phone from the counter. I smiled down as Lynn's name popped up and slid my finger across the screen quickly.

"Hey." I greeted, thankful for the excuse to stop talking about my almost puking incident.

"Hiya!" She chirped loudly.

I chuckled, backing away from the stove until my back bumped into the island. I leaned back, turning to Mom and mouthing Lynn to her. She sighed, raising her coffee to her mouth again while she slowly trudged out of the kitchen. Thank God.

"Thank God what?" Lynn questioned.

I coughed, covering my mouth as my cheeks flushed even though nobody is around me. I can't believe I said that out loud.

"Nothing." I shrugged, tugging at the hem of my shirt. "What's up?"

"Okay, so I know this is sudden." She started, making my eyebrows raise. "I need a favor from you and I'm really not sure how you'll feel about it..."

"What kind of favor?" I asked slowly, rolling the thin material of the smooth shirt between my fingers while I waited.

"Okay. So, like. Do you remember Alexa?" She asked awkwardly.

"Uh..." I trailed off biting my lip.

Alexa? Who the hell is Alexa? I racked my brain, thinking back to junior year and all of the girls Lynn used to flirt with. Pressing my lips together, I hummed in thought and shook my head to myself when nobody came to mind.

"I didn't expect you to remember." She chuckled. "Uh, she was our waitress the night we found out about you being pregnant."

"Oh!" I exclaimed, smacking myself in the forehead. "I thought it sounded familiar. What about her?"

"I asked her out on a date tonight." She blurted.

"Lynn!" I cooed loudly, holding my hand over my cheek. "That's so cute! Really?"

I grinned, excitement filling me at the news. It's been forever since Lynn's even thought about taking someone out. I can't even remember the last time she had a girlfriend, but it had to be sometime in sophomore year or something. I can't help but feel ecstatic to find out how it goes later.

"Wait..." I drawled, stopping my internal rambling as I furrowed my eyebrows. "What do you need me for then?"

She laughed nervously on the other end, making my stomach twist uneasily. If it's something she's nervous about then it's something I'm going to be nervous about, no doubt.

"Lynn." I urged, picking at the nail polish chipping off of my thumb.

"Well, you remember Sabrina?" She asked.

"Your cousin?" I prompted.

"Yeah. I promised her when I was on my family trip that I would watch Rose tonight." She revealed slowly. "And I kind of made plans with Alexa tonight, not even thinking like a dumbass and I just. She's so shy and innocent and I don't want to bail on her and have her think I'm like not into her-"

"You want me to babysit?" I observed, feeling a whole new wave of nerves rush over me.

"I mean, you don't have to, obviously." She stated. "But, if you could that would be great? I hate to ask you, but like I said before I just really don't want her to think I'm standing her up or something because from what I know about her already that's definitely what she'll think. And Sabrina will kill me if I take back my word because it's been like two months and she's already got her hotel booked with Anthony-"

"You want me to watch a three month old baby for the whole night?" I queried, clenching my fist hard.

The slight pain from my fingernails digging into my skin told me that this is not a dream. She's actually asking me this.

"I know it's kind of rude to ask you last minute, but if you think about it you could use the practice." She rambled. "I mean, most girls don't know they're pregnant until after a month or even two so you could be ready to pop soon and this could benefit you-"

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed, feeling my heart skip.

I could be two months pregnant already? That can't be right. She must not know the facts for someone like me. I'm different than a girl.

"Don't panic!" She called. "Does Alex know? You never told me, y'know."

"He does." I muttered, blinking slowly while I rubbed my forehead. "He's not. He's taking it okay. I'm not really sure."

"He didn't run so that counts for something!" She retorted happily. "So, what do you think? Can my best friend, best of all best friends help me out?"

I bit my lip, feeling a mixture of nerves and excitement fill my gut. I mean, she's right. This could help me in the future. I've taken care of Reagan and Andy both as babies. Sure, I had the help of Aunt Carrie and Mom but I still learned a lot. Who am I kidding? A three month old baby would be the perfect practice. I don't know anyone else with kids smaller than Andy and Andy's pretty independent now. Lynn's right. I really could benefit from this.

"You know what?" I smiled, biting my lip. "Yeah. I can do it. I know how to take care of a baby."

"Really?" She sighed in relief. "Oh my God, youre the best!"

"Yeah." I agreed, letting my left hand graze my stomach. "I don't mind. It actually is a good idea, Lynn."

My smile widened as I rubbed my belly, all of my nerves fading away and getting replaced with a familiar giddy feeling. This is going to be great. I'll be able to practice and show Alex how it's going to be at the same time. I'll be able to get him to come around sooner so we can tell Mom and Dad.

"I'll be there in an hour?" She offered.

"Sounds good." I agreed, unable to contain my smile.
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"That thing looks ancient." I commented, biting my lip anxiously. "Are you sure it'll hold?"

"It's offically seventeen like you, not fifty." Mom pointed out, pushing down into the slightly discolored surface until it made a loud clicking sound. "There we go."

I raised my eyebrows, watching her ruffle out the blue and tan plaid skirt all around the bassinet before she clapped her hands together.

"Oh, it's been so long since I've had this out. Fourteen whole years, besides the few times I kept Reagan and Andy overnight when they were small enough." She reminisced, gazing over at me with a soft smile.

"That's a while." I chuckled, looking down to the light weight in my arms.

I smiled, watching Rose's green eyes stare up at me intently. The soft brown hair stuck to her smooth forehead with the little red bow headband stuck around her head. It matched the red onzie covering her tiny body, making my smile widen when I read Mommy's Girl over her chest.

"I don't want to speak too soon, but Rose seems like she's just like how you were when you were a baby." She noted, grazing Rose's little chubby cheek with her thumb. "Quiet and content."

"Hopefully you didn't jinx it." I whispered, holding her tighter to my chest when she wriggled a bit. "Hi Rosie."

"If I did, she'd be crying already." She joked, patting my side. "Are you sure you can handle her on your own all night?"

I smiled down at her, sticking my pointer finger in her little fist. Her fingers squeazed softly around mine making my heart grow warm.

"Thanks for setting the bed up." I nodded, wiggling her hand around with my finger.

"You're very welcome." She replied. "This is nice of you to do."

"Yeah." I agreed, freeing my finger while I walked behind Mom.

I followed her out of my room and back into the hall, biting my tongue at the giddy feeling filling my chest. Seeing Rose and holding her definitely eased my nervous mind. It's only been two hours since I've had her and I already feel confident in this position. I know for sure now that I'll be able to handle having a baby. I can do it and all I need to do is figure out technicalities with Mom hopefully soon. I need to know how it's going to work out with how everyone's schedule is going to be by the time nine months rolls around.

"It's nice to see you holding a baby." Mom admitted once we were back in the kitchen.

"Huh?" I choked out, relaxing my shoulders the best I could to keep Rose from sensing the sudden tension filling me.

I slipped back on the stool pulled out from the island, comfortably lowering my arms down to my lap to rest my arms. I cleared my throat quietly, watching curiously as Mom leaned over the counter. She nodded at me, making me raise my eyebrows back at her.

"I don't want to upset you." She began, tapping her fingers along the counter. "I'm not sure if I'll ever get to witness it in the future with how you felt the last time I brought up the genes, but it just warms my heart seeing this and knowing it could happen after you get married."

I gnawed at the inside of my bottom lip as a rush of emotions hit me. Sniffling, I felt the waterworks coming from her sentimental thoughts. Guilt flipped in my gut, making my eyes sting while I stared back at her hard in attempt to hold myself together. I was so angry and upset with her for even tryng to talk with me about it and now here I am, sitting here with a baby of my own growing inside of me and she has no idea. She has no idea and she's talking about how happy it would make her to see me become a parent and after I get married? I'm going to dissapoint her so much when I tell her and I don't even want to imagine the look on Dad's face when he finds out. Hearing her mention marriage really reminded me of how young I actually am.

What am I doing?

"Honey, are you okay?" She asked worriedly.

I breathed in shakily, slowly closing my eyes to keep the water from flowing over while I nodded slowly. There's just something about someone asking if you're okay that makes you lose it. Or maybe that's just me. Pressing my lips together, I sniffed harshly and willed my eyes to dry up.

"That made me a little emotional." I informed, blinking my eyes carefully to avoid letting any droplets escape. "I'm sorry for how I acted that day."

"I understand." She comforted, running her hand over my arm softly. "It's okay, baby. I love you."

"I love you too." I smiled, swallowing down the lump in my throat.

"How about I make that baby a bottle for you?" She suggested, motiong down to Rose. "She's eating her knuckles."

"Yeah, okay." I giggled, grimacing at the amount of drool slipping down her wrist from her sucking. "Are you hungry Ro-Ro?"

"I think so." Mom cooed, tickling Rose's belly before walking around towards the sink where I put her can of formula.

I smiled, listening to Rose coo quietly while she continued to suck on her fingers and stare up at me. Honestly, she's probably wondering who the fuck I am. I've only held her a few times since she's been born since Sabrina lives thirty minutes away. But she's pretty calm for not knowing me and she seems content with me holding her.

"Why don't you move to the couch?" Mom called, running the water loudly.

"Okay." I smiled, slipping from the stool.

I grinned at the way my pants stayed in place, not even moving when I walked into the family room.

"Damn, Jack." Maddison whistled from her spot on the sectional. "Leggings really work on you. So does that top. For being a guy and all, you look really good in that style."

"Jack looks good in everything." Lauren whined, laying back along the cushions.

"Thanks for the compliment, Maddison." I smiled sincerely, taking a seat on the loveseat. "These jeggings are my new favorite thing-"

"They're leggings, Jack. They're not stretchy jeans. They don't have a real zipper or real pockets and they're skin tight. They are leggings." She emphasized, motioning to her own legs covered in skin tight black pants. "Stop trying to call them jeans to make yourself seem less gay for wearing leggings."

I gawked, feeling my cheeks flush when Maddison high-fived her and laughed.

"I'm not trying to make myself seem less gay!" I defended, situating Rose into my right arm while I rested my elbow over the armrest. "I'm very gay and proud."

"That's why you call your leggings jeggings?" Maddison teased.

"Oh my God." I grumbled, leaning back into the stiff cushion behind me. "That's what the tags say!"

"Whatever you say." Lauren sang with a grin.

"I'll call them leggings from now on, jeez." I chuckled, looking over to the entryway when Mom appeared with a warm bottle in her hand.

"Ooo, can I feed her?" Lauren asked, sitting up from her lazy position.

"If you want." I shrugged. "Get comfy though because she'll probably take a little while."

"I'll take her over to her." Mom chuckled.

I smiled, sitting up and carefully manuevering Rose into her arms instead. I sighed in relief, relaxing back into the couch. I let my arms drop to my sides, wincing slightly at the dull ache in my forearms.

"Holding a baby gets tiring, doesn't it?" Mom laughed, taking in my slumped posture after she finished positioning Lauren and reminding her what to do.

"Yeah. I need to learn to put her down." I sighed.

"It'll get easier as the day goes on." She reassured, wiping her hands on her jeans before she pointed to the kitchen. "I'm going to start on dinner now. It's after six."

"What're we having?" Lauren questioned.

"I was thinking chicken stirfry?" She suggested slowly, clapping her hands together.

"Yum." I hummed, licking my lips while my stomach rumbled. "Will it take long?"

"Thirty minutes tops." She smiled.

I nodded, watching her stride back into the kitchen before my eyes trailed over to the tv. I gawked, glancing back into the kitchen before staring at the tv.

"You're watching American Pie?" I whisper-yelled. "With Mom right in the other room?"

"It just started." Lauren shrugged, nudging Maddison. "Turn it up."

"Don't turn it up." I warned. "You guys really. This movie is wrong for you to watch in so many ways."

"Shut up, Jack." Lauren scoffed, nudging Maddison again. "Derek said it was funny."

"Okay." She shrugged, hitting the volume up a few notches.

I shrugged my shoulders, slipping from my place on the loveseat. I stood straight, stretching my arms over my head for a few satisfying seconds before dropping them back to my sides.

"Remember to burp her halfway through, okay?" I told, grabbing Lauren's attention. "I'm gonna get a drink."

"I know." She smiled, nodding her head as she turned back to the tv.

I chuckled, stepping back into the kitchen before I could witness any of the painful awkward moments that movie is full of. I smiled, running my fingers through my flat hair as I walked over to the fridge.

"Smells good already." I breathed, sniffing the delicious arouma again as I pulled the fridge open.

Scanning the shelves, my eyes caught on a bottle of chocolate milk and I grinned. I pulled the small jug from the middle shelf, closing the fridge gently before twisting the cap off. Tilting my head back, I brought the milk to my lips and gulped almost half of it down in one go.

"I love chocolate milk." I groaned, wiping my mouth off and setting the bottle on the island.

"I can see that. Slow down though, it's milk." She scolded lightly, shaking her head.

"I stopped." I pouted, popping the lid back on.

I leaned on the counter, feeling my ears perk up at the sound of the front door opening. I grinned, pushing off of the counter and rushing towards the foyer.

"Hey baby." I greeted, watching Alex shut the door.

I frowned, feeling my stomach lurch when he kicked his shoes off rather roughly while he ignored my greeting completely. Clicking my tongue quietly, I walked forward and took in the way he pressed his forehead into the front door.

"Alex?" I questioned cautiously, reaching out to press my hand between his shoulder blades.

"Hi." He muttered, shrugging my hand off while he practically ripped his work shirt off.

"Woah, what's your problem?" I frowned, taking in his emotionless expression when he finally turned to face me.

"Nothing." He replied, pressing a quick kiss to my lips. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Okay, well don't take it out on me." I mumbled, looking over his stained hands. "You need to shower or something."

"Yeah." He agreed shortly.

I opened my mouth, closing it again while he turned his back to me. I gaped at his back, watching him take the steps two at a time before he was out of my sight.

"I'll be right there, Laur." I called loudly, grabbing the railing as I jogged up the steps myself.

I stepped down the hall, barely turning into the room before Alex was in my face.

"What the fuck is that?" He demanded.

"You better back up." I warned, not liking the uneasy feeling filling me when I caught sight of his bloodshot eyes.

"What the fuck is that?" He repeated, after taking two steps back.

I followed his hand even though I already knew what he was talking about. My gaze met the bassinet and I bit my lip, slowly looking up at him.

"A bassinet?" I answered slowly, crossing my arms over my chest. "You know, a-"

"I know what the fucking thing is." He scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Why the fuck is it next to our bed?"

"Because-" I started, stopping when he shook his head.

"Get it the fuck out of here, Jack." He ordered, running his hands through his hair. "I dont want to see any fucking baby shit. I don't want to-"

"What the fuck?" I drawled, holding my hand out.

"Why won't you see? Why won't you fucking consider it, Jack?" He hissed, pulling at his hair. "You've gone fucking crazy."

Realization washed over me and my frown deepened, making my stomach sink. I moved my arms back over my chest, shaking my head as I looked down.

"What if it has a shitty life?" He went on, waving his hands around. "You want to keep it when we can't do shit?"

"The baby is not going to have a shitty life." I told sternly. "I'll make sure-"

"Oh yeah?" He laughed incredulously. "How the fuck are you going to do that? We're seventeen, Jack. We're about to be seniors. I work all the time. How the fuck do you expect me to get everything we're gonna need when I have no money? You don't have any fucking money or a license. Who will watch the kid while we're gone? How is it gonna get everything it needs? Are you gonna be the one to wake up when it's screaming all fucking night?"

I stood still, feeling my mouth open and close like a fish out of water after his rambling stopped. Frowning, I pressed my lips together and shook my head.

"Okay, so we're going to be seniors. This is why I need to talk to my parents, Alex. They'll help me figure out what we can do and I'm aware that I'm helpless when it comes to money and driving at the moment, but who says I'll still be that way by the time the baby comes?" I argued.

"Your fucking parents-" He stopped himself, making my frown deepen when he shook his head.

"Why are you freaking out about this again? I thought we talked through this." I sighed, sucking at my lip anxiously. "You said-"

"I know what I fucking said, Jack." He snapped, pushing passed me. "Fucking forget I said anything."

I gawked, turning around to see him flee from the room. Stomping forward, I threw my hands up in frustration and stepped out in the hall behind him.

"I can't just forget about everything you just said!" I called, watching him slam the bathroom door shut.

I stared at the closed door for a few seconds, feeling a little shocked at the mini-blowout that just happened. I frowned, feeling my heart grow heavy. I crossed my arms over my stomach lightly, biting my cheek when the lump in my throat grew. The way he spoke really let me know how he feels and he kind of has a point. I don't have my license, I don't have money, and I'm still in high school. Who knows when I'll get the guts to try driving or get a job. How would I even get a job? Alex and I can't both be working. Sniffling, I closed my eyes and rubbed my hands over my face.

What the fuck am I supposed to do?
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I sighed in relief, laying Rose back into the bassinet slowly and carefully after she finally closed her eyes again. I slipped my hands out from under her, holding my breath while I covered her in her pink polka dotted blanket. Once she remained asleep, I backed away from the bassinet and let out a sigh of relief. My shoulders relaxed and I plopped back into the couch, blinking slowly while I glanced at the cable box.

"Eleven isn't too bad."

I jumped, gancing towards the entryway awkwardly from my positon over the sectional. I gave a small nod back to Mom, biting my lip when she walked around to the side I'm sitting on. I sighed, slumping further into the cushions and draping my arms over my stomach.

"Where's Alex?" She whispered, furrowing her eyebrows. "He's been gone for hours now."

"I don't fucking know." I muttered, earning a warning look from her. "Sorry. He just left after a stupid fight. I don't know what his problem is."

"I don't know what his problem is either, but you guys have been rocky lately." She noted, rubbing my knee softly. "Are you gonna tell me what's up?"

"I will, Mom." I started, shruggingmy shoulders. "Not tonight though, okay? I've got a lot on my mind right now and I want to get some sleep before she wakes up again."

"Why did you move the bassinet down here?" She questioned, brushing my bangs back.

"Alex threw a damn fit. That's why." I huffed, rolling my eyes.

I shook the memories from my mind, not wanting to get sucked back into the little fight. I really thought he was coming around, but seeing Rose literally had the opposite effect on him because as soon as he was done showering and heard her crying he was out the fucking door saying he had to do something.

"Well then he can sleep in the guest room." She stated, standing back to her feet. "We do have one, you know."

"I'm not going to make him sleep in the basement." I refused, closing my eyes.

"You're too nice sometimes, baby." She sighed, brushing my hair out of my face again before kissing my forehead. "Get some sleep, okay? She'll be hungry soon."

I nodded, grabbing the blanket from the back of the couch and tugging it over me as I fell sideways. I hummed when my head hit the soft cushion underneath me and pulled the blanket tighter while I forced my eyes closed.

I jumped awake, holding my heart at the loud cries filling the dark room. Blinking hard, I swallowed thickly and squinted around. My eyes landed on the cable box, reminding me that I'm in the living room and babysitting Rose. I wiped my burning eyes, ignoring the want to stay curled up under my blanket and stumbling off of the couch.

"S'okay, Rosie." I cooed quietly, slipping her into my arms and holding her to my chest. "Sh."

I licked my lips, grimacing at my cotton mouth while I carefully walked into the kitchen. The small light over the stove lit up the room enough for me to see my steps and I hurried over to the fridge. Opening it, I pulled out a bottle and bumped the door closed with my hips before I hurried to the microwave.

"You must be hungry, huh?" I asked, my baby voice shining through despite my tiredness. "It's three fourty in the morning, yes it is."

I smiled down at her, listening to the microwave turn while I wiped her fat tears away. She sniffled, continuing to breath heavily due to her frustration from not getting what she wants this exact moment. Beeping sounded and I popped the microwave open, pulling the warm bottle out. Once the microwave was shut, I shook the bottle up and awkwardly twisted my hand to squirt some on my wrist.

"Okay, it's ready." I smiled, popping the nipple into her waiting mouth on the walk back to the family room.

She sucked quiet and fast, making me giggle a little because it just sounded so cute. I held her tightly, making my way back to the family room. I glanced through the foyrer out of instinct, frowning when I didn't make out Alex's dirty shoes in their usual place. Biting my cheek, I slipped over to the loveseat and sat down.

"Where did Alex go, Rose?" I asked quietly, barely able to see her staring up at me through the dark. "Is he coming back or did we scare him away?"

I gulped, my heart falling to my stomach at the thought of him not coming back. He's got a trunk full or clothes and a bak that's probably flowing with cash now that he's got his promotion. Furrowing my eyebrows, I looked down questioningly at Rose.

"Why is he freaking out again, Ro?" I whispered to myself, frowning as I thought about it. "He told me he would support me and we can get through it."

I sighed, relaxing as much as I could with her pressed into my chest. I smiled down at her, widening my eyes when I heard her sucking on air. I pulled the bottle from her lips, surprised to see every last drop gone when she started crying.

"It's okay." I cooed, tossing the bottle to the floor.

I sat up, slowly moving her to rest over my shoulder. Patting her back gently, her cries turned into soft whimpers until she let out the cutest little burp. I giggled, moving her back to lay in my right arm. I stood rocked my arm a little, biting my lip when the whimpers turned back into crying. I winced at the loudness, forcing myself into a standing position to rock her better.

"Sh sh sh." I hushed, holding her to my chest while I swayed my body. "Time to sleep, Rose."

I sighed, glancing at the clock to see it nearing four in the morning now. I frowned, starting to pace back and forth when her cries continued. Panicking a little, I moved my hand between her legs only feeling the dry diaper.

"What's wrong, Rose?" I cooed, trying to stay calm when she started screaming. "Sh, people are sleeping."

I laughed nervously, moving her back against my chest in attempt to calm her down. She quieted just barely, soaking my shoulder with her fast tears. I frowned, feeling tears form in my own eyes at her distress. Walking back and forth a little faster, I ran my hand in circles over her back soothingly while slightly bounching her with my steps.

"Sh sh sh." I hushed, biting my lip when my vision blurred. "You ate, you burped, you're not wet. What's wrong, huh?"

I sniffled, biting my lip harder when her wails began getting louder again. I felt my chest tighten as I glanced back at the clock to see it ten passed four now. Oh my God, she's been crying for twenty minutes and I can't help her. What am I supposed to do? Do I wake Mom up? But Dad has work in a few hours-

"Jack?"

I jumped, turning around to find Alex leaning in the entryway with his phone light shining at me. I blinked, frowning when I registered the wetness coating my cheeks. I sniffled, continuing to pat her back while he walked over to me. I sighed shakily, avoiding his gaze while the bright light shined down on his ripped black jeans.

"Hey." He called, tilting my chin up.

"I can't get her to stop." I admitted, feeling my chest tighten. "I don't-I don't know what I was thinking. I-"

"Sh." He shushed, pressing his finger to my lips. "Calm down, baby."

"I can't." I whined, stepping back from him. "Where the hell have you even been?"

"We need to shut her up, Jay." He mumbled anxiously, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I don't know how." I whimpered, rocking her slowly. "I'm trying everything."

"Uh, okay..." He trailed off, clearing his throat. "Uh."

I sniffled, frowning at the loud scream escaping her throat befor eher voice cut out. I blinked hard, feeling my heart skip at the sound of her crying so hard it has barely any sound.

"Help me!" I exclaimed desperately, kissing the top of her head. "Oh God, what do I do?"

"I don't fucking know." He said, gripping my forearms lightly to stop me from shaking so much. "Uh, um. Let me, no..just-"

"Alex!" I exasperated, swaying from foot to foot as slow as I could manage.

"Okay!" He snapped, tightening his grip on my arms. "Um. I'd give up forever to touch you 'cause I know that you feel me somehow. You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be and I don't want to go home right now."

I looked down, biting my tongue when her head tilted enough for her glossy eyes to stare up at me. She breathed heavily, the cries dying in her throat as soon as Alex's raw voice filled the room.

"And all I can taste is this moment and all I can breathe is your life, when sooner or later it's over. I just don't wanna miss you tonight." He sang softly, rubbing circles into my biceps with his thumbs. "And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am."

I sniffed dryly, warmth spreading through my gut when he eyes slipped closed. I smiled, looking up at Alex while he repeated the chorus. He gave me a small smile back, moving his thumbs to wipe my drying cheeks before he pulled away.

"It worked." I whispered once he came to a stop, glancing down as she breathed heavily against my chest. "You did it."

I walked over to the bassinet, holding in my breath while I carefully placed her down. I sighed with relief, covering her up again and listening to her continue to breath deeply. Wiping my face, I turned around and hugged Alex tightly despite my annyance with him. I breathed him in, grimacing at the funky smell mixed with smoke coming from him when he ran his hands up my sides.

"Can we talk later?" He whispered. "I'm tired and who knows when it will wake up."

"She." I corrected, pulling away from him with an eyeroll. "She's a baby girl, not an it you asshole."

"Whatever." He scoffd, plopping down on the sectional.

"What are you doing?" I whispered, rubbing my nose.

"Sleeping." He muttered, stretching across the longer side. "You know it's hard for me to sleep without you now."

"You made such a big deal out of her sleeping in the room." I retorted, rolling my eyes.

"Baby, please." He groaned.

"Okay, shut up." I whisper-yelled, peeking back at Rose.

Once I found her still sleeping peacefully, I relaxed and let myself slump on the couch. I sighed, pressing my back against Alex's chest while he wrapped his arm around my waist lightly.

"Goodnight, asshole."

Notes